If...

Lily watched as Harry and Sirius played on the rug. Severus still hadn't returned, even though night was slowly falling over Cokeworth. Her best friend had told her he wouldn't be late, but he must have been delayed by some delicate matter in Dumbledore's office. She knew not to worry; Hogwarts was safe. No Death Eater would dare confront the Headmaster and his staff without Voldemort leading them.

Sirius hadn't commented on Severus' delay. He enjoyed spending time with his godson, and Lily enjoyed watching them together. Sirius' presence throughout the day had allowed the witch to completely renovate the kitchen, which was in a deplorable state. It probably dated back to the late 1950s, but had never been maintained. The handles on the cupboards and drawers were dull and loose, but with a little magic they were straightened and restored to their original shine. Lily also removed all the stains from the walls and furniture in the room. She even fixed the tap that was dripping water.

It didn't take her all day, just part of the morning. After lunch, while Harry took his nap, Lily thought about what she could do with the narrow corridor. It was so small that no one had ever dared to put even the smallest piece of furniture in it, not even a coat rack. Then she had an idea, but it needed Severus' approval. Although her friend had given her free rein when it came to renovating and decorating the house, Lily felt that removing a wall to increase the size of the sitting room would require a brief discussion.

Shortly after tea time, Severus finally arrived in the sitting room. The tired look on his face told Lily that he had learned something. Concern quickly spread through the young woman. Harry, who had been stacking wooden blocks with Sirius, left his favourite game and his godfather to greet Severus. He lifted his chubby little arms towards the darkly dressed wizard and asked to be carried. Without hesitation, Severus obliged and the toddler tangled his fingers in the young man's straight hair.

"Rough day?" asked Sirius, a smirk on his lips.

"What does it matter to you?" the other wizard replied in a tired tone.

"Absolutely nothing. I was just thinking that dealing with dozens and dozens of children, teenagers, must be a strain on your nerves. You're the last person I would have imagined in such a role. You're not exactly the patient or sociable type."

Severus gave him a belligerent look. Lily had no doubt that Severus would have lost his temper if Harry hadn't been in his arms.

"Sirius, please. Severus has probably had a long day," Lily interjected.

"I have enough patience to tolerate you," Severus replied.

Sirius shrugged, a grin on his face, before turning his attention back to Harry, who was wriggling happily in Severus' arms. Lily, a look of growing concern on her face, approached her friend.

"Well, I suppose I'll leave you to it," Sirius announced, getting to his feet.

He hugged Lily, then planted a kiss on Harry's forehead, still held by Severus. Then he disappeared into the green flames of the fireplace.

"Severus… is everything alright?"

The young man sat down on the sofa, Harry cuddled against his chest. Lily joined them, her eyes never leaving Severus' obsidian ones, which were strangely evasive.

"Severus, what's wrong? Has something bad happened?"

"No," he replied in a flat tone.

He was hiding something, Lily was sure of it. Over the years she had learned to recognise the signs that betrayed Severus. He had always had a habit of hiding his emotions when he was in a difficult situation. Perhaps that was how he had managed to fool Voldemort, but certainly not Lily. She knew him only too well.

"I know when you're not telling me the truth."

His eyes widened slightly and Harry decided this was the perfect moment to laugh and babble.

"So does he," Lily added with a smile.

"I'm not sure this is the right time to discuss this, Lily," he said. "But I can assure you that nothing serious has happened today."

"Not even in your classes?"

He replied with a look of indignation.

"I followed your advice and everything went perfectly," Severus replied curtly.

Realising her mistake, Lily bit her lip.

"I don't doubt it," she said, placing a hand on his forearm.

"I'll tell you all about it after dinner, when Harry's asleep."

A wave of warmth ran through her as she heard her friend say her son's name. Severus cared about her child, and deep down Lily knew he had some affection for little Harry.

Severus, visibly concerned, made his way to the kitchen. Lily let him take charge of dinner after trying to stop him. But this activity would allow him to find some semblance of relief. Meanwhile, she joined Harry in the living room, her heart heavy with concern for her friend. He wasn't his usual self and Lily dreaded what she would learn once her son was asleep.

The aromas of vegetable soup and roast meat filled the house, warming the chilly evening. Dinner passed in relative silence, with Harry attracting all the attention with his enthusiastic chatter and clumsy attempts to grasp his spoon. Severus, despite his taciturn demeanour, occasionally allowed a small smile to creep across his lips at the boy's antics.

"I think he likes your soup," Lily chuckled, wiping the infant's mouth with a napkin.

"He has a refined palate," Severus agreed.

After dinner, Lily tucked Harry into bed and told her son a gentle, soothing story until his eyelids slowly closed. She lingered for a moment, touched by the peace that radiated from his sleeping face. She would never understand why Voldemort had targeted her son, why he had cast that terrible curse. Before joining her friend in the living room, she kissed her child's forehead and tucked him in.

Severus was sitting on the sofa. Lily noticed that he had poured a deep crimson drink, most likely wine, into two glasses.

"Are we celebrating something?" she asked in a playful tone.

"My first day without a single detention," he replied, offering her one of the glasses.

Lily took it and raised it to her lips.

"Elven wine," she said after taking a sip. "To your first day without unjust punishment!"

Severus smiled slightly and took a drink as well.

"More seriously, it's to help me talk," he admitted, sitting back down on the sofa. "I met with Dumbledore after my lessons. He called me into his office to give me a new assignment."

"What?!" Lily exclaimed in shock. "But... but you're already taking great risks by having us here!"

"Don't worry... it's not a dangerous mission. I'm supposed to do it during my time at Hogwarts. That's not really what's bothering me right now."

What kind of mission was it? She didn't like the sound of that.

"Dumbledore told me certain things to help me carry out this mission," he continued.

"What did he tell you?" Lily asked, her concern growing.

"It is those very confidences that concern me," Severus replied. "I'm not sure I'm allowed to talk to you about it..."

"If this is about my son, I have a right to know. Does it concern Harry?" she asked.

"Not directly... It's about the Dark Lord... You-Know-Who."

Lily froze. A thousand possibilities ran through her mind. Perhaps Dumbledore had learned that Voldemort hadn't disappeared, that he had returned.

"Tell me... has he come back?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"No, no," he reassured her. "He spoke to me about his past... and it's given me much to think about."

Lily had never really thought about Voldemort's past. To her, the dark wizard had always been a sinister figure, spreading rot and decay wherever he went. A man who would kill a baby was not a man in her eyes - he was anything but human. But that was foolish of her.

"I've learned who he really was," Severus went on. "Dumbledore knows his whole story, or almost."

Severus seemed to be gnawing at a certain fear, and Lily couldn't understand why Voldemort's past would affect her friend so deeply.

"His name is Tom Marvolo Riddle," he revealed. "Do you know that name?"

Lily shook her head. As far as she knew, she had never heard or read that name before. It was completely unknown to her.

"He wasn't born into a pure-blood wizarding family," Severus continued. "His mother was a witch from an old, penniless family, and his father was a Muggle."

Lily felt her throat tighten. The family background of the wizard who had murdered her husband bore a striking resemblance to that of Severus.

"Like you," Lily murmured.

He nodded painfully, then proceeded to recount in detail everything he had learned in Dumbledore's office.

"You're nothing like him!" Lily insisted vehemently.

"Oh really?" Severus sneered. "You see, I have no memory of a time when my parents were supposedly happy. I'm beginning to seriously wonder if my mother imprisoned my father, just like Merope Gaunt. It would explain a lot..."

"No!" Lily replied. "Your mother would never have done such a thing!"

"What do you know of my mother? Absolutely nothing!" Severus snapped.

In a fit of rage, he knocked over his glass, shattering it. Shards of glass were scattered across the floor, while the alcoholic liquid formed a large crimson stain on the carpet. Lily shot the young man an angry look. But deep down she was frightened. Severus wasn't violent. He had never hurt her. He could be wild, even savage at times, but he was anything but brutal.

"Scourgify," she said, pointing her wand at the carpet.

"Sorry... I lost my temper... It won't happen again."

"Reparo," Lily continued, this time pointing her wand at the broken glass.

"Lily..."

The stain was gone and the wine glass was whole again.

"Sit down," she ordered coldly.

Severus obeyed, and Lily stood with her hands on her hips, looking down at him.

"You're right, I don't know anything about your mother. I don't think I've ever spoken to her. But I believe that if your father had been manipulated, he would have left your mother when he came to his senses. What would he have lost by leaving? Nothing. He could have done what that Tom Riddle did - resumed his life elsewhere."

"Then why did he hate magic so much? Why did he hate us?"

"I think, deep down, you already know the answer..."

When they were children, Severus would occasionally talk to her about the arguments his parents had at home. Lily had only spoken to Tobias Snape once, on the day she had broken the rules to show Severus her Hogwarts acceptance letter. From her friend's stories, she had come to understand that the man was deeply jealous.

"Because it gave us a power he didn't have. And paradoxically, it did us no good here," Severus murmured. "We were no richer."

"He envied you, and yet he found you useless..."

"He didn't want Mum to use magic... It would have been welcome for cleaning, cooking... If he'd let her, life would have been a bit easier. He couldn't understand why Mum couldn't conjure up more money and still put a bit more food on the table".

"You see, you have nothing in common with him," Lily said, gently stroking Severus' hand.

The young man just shrugged. A conversation was unlikely to change his mind.

"I've gone down a very dark path myself."

"That's true," Lily replied. "But you've had a moment of clarity. Not everyone gets that."

"It took the threat to your life for me to change sides... It's pathetic."

Lily continued to stroke his hand gently with her fingertips.

"What does this new mission entail?" Lily asked hesitantly.

"I have to get information from Horace Slughorn."

Lily's eyes widened in surprise. What could be the connection between Voldemort and her old Potions professor? He was certainly the head of Slytherin, the house that produced the majority of the Dark Wizard's followers. But Horace Slughorn was far from being a supremacist, a Dark Arts enthusiast or a Voldemort loyalist. He was a jovial man who liked to surround himself with bright minds and had a fondness for sweet treats.

"But why? Professor Slughorn... It doesn't make sense."

"Slughorn has been teaching at Hogwarts for several decades, and he had You-Know-Who as a student. Dumbledore thinks he knows something... I don't know what, it may not be important. But Slughorn was very worried when I saw him leaving Dumbledore's office.

"But what could he possibly know? Don't tell me he's a Death Eater..."

Severus snorted, and Lily realised how foolish her fears had been.

"No," he replied with a smile. "The Dark Lord... I mean You-Know-Who... Tom... whatever his name is... was a truly brilliant student. I imagine Slughorn had already begun to collect his assortment of talents and future celebrities. If that's the case, You-Know-Who must have been one of his favourite students, part of his Slug Club. Like me, you know Slughorn."

Thanks to her prowess at Hogwarts, especially in Potions, Lily had been invited to join the Slug Club in her fifth year. She had always been one of Slughorn's favourite students and he was never short of praise for her. Severus had also been invited to join the club, but Lily had rarely seen him at the meetings. By the time they reached sixth year, the friend she had distanced herself from had stopped attending altogether.

"How are you going to do it?"

"That's an excellent question."

There was a hint of irony in his voice, but Lily also detected a note of desperation.

"I've never been good at flattery," he said. "I'm more of a direct approach person... If only I could use Veritaserum on him. Dumbledore has forbidden it."

"He'd probably be suspicious anyway," Lily added sceptically. "And its use is strictly regulated by the Ministry."

"That wouldn't stop me," Severus replied sharply. "But Slughorn would think it odd if I offered him a drink. Dumbledore was clear. He wants me to retrieve a memory. I can't force Slughorn to do it. And I have no idea what he might be hiding. Horace, what did you think of dear Tom Riddle when you had him as a pupil? Did you have any suspicions about him? Did you think he'd become a notorious dark wizard?"

Lily couldn't help but laugh as she listened to Severus plan his approach.

"Sorry, it just slipped out," she said with a contrite expression. "You have to gain his trust first, not go in all guns blazing."

"But how? I've never been particularly close to him..."

"You're teaching the same subject as him, and you're just starting out. Ask him for advice! He'll be flattered, and you know how he reacts to flattery. Not that I ever flattered him when I was at Hogwarts... But I saw what some people did to him".

"It's a good idea," Severus admitted. "It might help me gain his trust."

Lily nodded. She hadn't expected Dumbledore to demand that Severus complete the mission in record time. If the information Slughorn had was so valuable to the head of the Order, then Severus would have to be careful with the old Potions Master.