“You could probably just pretend to be someone’s pet. I’m a little bit jealous.”
“They would cut his balls off, though”, Lily interjected.
“What? Why do they cut off dogs’ balls?”, Sirius cried, face slack with disbelief, eyes widened in horror.
“Or otherwise there would be thousands of unwanted puppies”, Lily explained. Or tried to, as Sirius interrupted her: “But who doesn’t like puppies?”
“Voldemort probably doesn’t.” James got a surprised laugh from both Lily and Sirius.
“He doesn’t count, he’s a monster.”
“Well, that’s certainly true, but he’s still human”, Lily mused.
“Monsters can take many forms, just look at my family…”
“We got off on a tangent. Dogs and cats would just reproduce uncontrollably if they aren’t neutered and we would have many more street dogs then. There are many countries with a lot of street dogs which people can’t take care of, because they don’t have a lot of money”, Lily explained, her tone growing sad.
“I see, that is indeed sad…”
“Anyways, if push comes to shove, you could hide as a pet.”
“And have my balls cut off?”
“I thought, you didn’t want children anyways?” Lily gave James a meaningful look, which Sirius didn’t see, because he was busy spluttering.
“What … how … why is this even on the table, balls are not just for children making … maybe yours are … Kind of an extreme measurement to take if you don’t want children?”
“Just a tiny bit.”
“Guess so being someone’s pet is out of question”, Sirius sighed dramatically. James crackled.
“But you already are our pet.” Lily grinned and asked mischievously: “Who is our good boy?”
“I love you too, guy”, Sirius said exasperatedly.
“But we do love you”, James said with a smile and slung an arm around Sirius’ shoulders.