“Ted! Ted, look what Dad charmed for me.”
He glanced up at James, who hopped aboard an old-model Firebolt Harry had charmed to fly only a few feet off the floor. He leaned forward and the broom puttered along at a modest pace.
As the broom neared her, Rose made a dramatic show of shrieking, ducking down and covering her head.
“Make him put it away,” she whined. “‘s making me feel unsafe.”
“Your mum taught you to say that,” James taunted.
“It’s my turn,” said Fabian, rising to his feet and giving James a forceful shove.
“Hey. Stop it. Stop it!” James yelled, aiming a kick at Abe and missing. “Faby!” he said in a sing-song voice, “Faby the Baby!”
“Mum said you couldn’t call me that!” said Abe.
“Mum’s not here!”
Ted rolled his eyes, resolutely bookmarking his page in Hogwarts: A History – a gift from Hermionie, since he’d start school next year.
“Knock it off,” he said, trying to project his voice in a way that sounded authoritarian, “or I’ll get Uncle Ron.”
“Daddy doesn’t scare us,” said Rose.
“I’ll get Aunt Hermione,” Teddy qualified.
James made a show of pretending to faint off the Firebolt, falling to the floor in a dramatic heap. Abe swung his leg over the broom immediately and took off. “Oh, no,” said James, “not Aunt Hermione.”
“You cried last time Mummy told you off,” Rose piped up.
“Did not!”
“Did too!”
“I’ve never cried in my life!”
The sound of the front door opening echoed through the chambers at Grimmauld Place. Ron’s voice carried up the stairs –
“Oh, thank god you’re back. Harry, your children are right nightmares.”
“Where are they?” asked Ginny.
“Upstairs with Teddy,” said Hermione. “Well, Lily’s in the kitchen with Hugo.”
“Finger painting,” Ron said brightly, “they made a huge mess, too.”
“I hoped they behaved,” said Ginny. “I’m in a bloody awful mood, thanks to Harry.”
Teddy’s ears perked. He scooted closer to the door to have a listen – James caught on and came bounding over.
“Mum and Dad are home!”
“Shhh.” Teddy held a finger to his lips. “They’re arguing, I think.”
Abe and Rose were standing over his shoulder now, too. James cocked his head to the side. “Arguing bout what?”
“Is Mummy mad?” asked Abe. “I hate when Mummy’s mad.”
“What’d you do?” Ron asked, presumably directed at Harry.
“He lost us the quiz, is what!” Ginny shouted.
“Hey,” that was Harry’s voice, interjecting, “in my defense –”
“There is no defense,” said Ginny. “Do you know what he did?”
“Enlighten me,” said Ron.
“Oh, don’t,” Harry groaned.
Teddy’s heart thudded against his ribcage. He’d heard Gran talking about Aunt Cissy’s divorce, how it still wrecked her, even after all this time.
“When you marry a person, you think that’s who you’ll be with for the rest of your life,” she’d said, bustling around the kitchen while Teddy worked through a stack of chocolate frog cards. “And when it doesn’t turn out that way, it's quite jarring.”
Teddy couldn’t imagine Harry and Ginny splitting up. The thought of it made him sick with worry. He glanced back at James and Abe, clambering to press their ears against the door. How might they turn out, as children of divorce? Not well. It might be worse than having no parents, even – having parents who hated each other.
He pushed them away from the door. They shouldn’t have to listen to this.
James shoved back. “I wanna hear!”
“Quit it,” Teddy snapped. “Go find your Firebolt.”
“I said I wanted a turn!” Abe yelled, and they both pounded away in search of the broom.
Rose looked up at him with big, worried eyes. “What are they fighting about, Teddy?”
“Shh. I’m trying to listen.” He pressed his ear to the door again, Rose hanging back at a respectful distance.
“It only made sense to me,” Harry was saying, “since they didn’t win the cup –”
“I thought you were the youngest Seeker in a century!” Ginny bellowed. “The best fucking quidditch player in the history of Hogwarts!” – Ted made a note to check for that in his book – “You can have the most points in the league and still lose the cup, you bloody idiot!”
“Sit down, Ginny,” said Hermione. To Teddy’s confusion, she seemed to be laughing. “You’ve both had a lot to drink.”
“Not enough!” Ginny yelped. “I could kill him.”
“You wouldn’t be the first to try,” Harry said dryly.
“Oh, the Chosen One card won’t save you from this one.” Ginny’s voice was low and dangerous.
“You might wanna run, mate,” said Ron, “before she sobers up.”
Teddy chanced a look behind him. Rose was watching James and Abe wrestle over the Firebolt. He figured he could leave for a moment without any of them ending up dead.
He slipped through the door onto the landing. He was two stories up from the ground floor at Grimmauld Place, but the voices carried even more out here. In the foyer below, he could see Ron supporting Harry, who slumped over on his shoulder. Ginny also looked a bit unsteady on her feet.
“I’m only saying,” Ginny said, “you might want to think about your answers at the quiz, and how that might affect what comes later in the night…”
Hermione caught Teddy’s eye, and her mouth dropped open. Gently, she took Ginny’s elbow.
“Gin.” She brushed by her, and came up the stairs, apparently trying to stifle a smile. “Hey Ted. Have you been enjoying Hogwarts: A History?” she asked him, taking him by the elbow to steer him back into the playroom with the other kids.
“Are Harry and Ginny getting a divorce?” he blurted.
Hermione stopped in her tracks, her face going blank before she broke into peels of laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Harry called.
Hermione ignored him, kneeling down so that she was at his level. “No, Ted, they are not getting a divorce.”
“But they’re arguing,” he said.
“They’re not really arguing,” said Hermione, “more like… fake arguing. Arguing for fun.”
He scrunched his nose. “Why? That doesn’t make sense.”
“Well, they played the quiz at a pub in Diagon Alley,” Hermione said, “and it seems Harry got a very, er, important question wrong.”
“What was the question?”
“It was, which English quidditch team had the most points in the 1999 season?”
“And what was the answer?”
“The Holyhead Harpies, obviously.”
It clicked. Teddy’s eyes widened. “That’s Ginny’s old team!”
Hermione nodded slowly. “You can see why Ginny was a bit upset – her own husband!”
“But they’re not really angry?”
“No, they’ve just had a big night.”
At that moment, the door to the playroom burst open, and James came peeling out on the Firebolt. Abe was chasing after him, feet pounding against the hardwood, on the verge of tears.
“You’ve had it all night, James, it’s my turn.”
“Faby the Baby!” James chanted.
Abe began to cry.
“Faby the Baby!”
“James Sirius Potter.” Ginny’s voice was hard and crisp, and Teddy wondered how he could have mistaken her earlier tone for true anger. “What have I told you about that name?”