Soulmate Stories

When we met it was three months after Queen Rhaenys death and the king was on a warpath. I was assigned his handmaiden a job of honor not usually given to those of my low birth. Three others had taken it before me. The first was executed in the first week, the second lasted a month and the third a month and a half. After that no one of high enough birth had any interest in the job and I was assigned as fodder and I assumed many more after me would be assigned as well until the king had taken control of himself again. My sister raged when she found out and quickly got to work getting me a transfer. She slept with the masters of work often enough that given time she would have achieved it. I privately thought my assignment was more to spite her than anything. Many have been envious of her ability to gain wealthy patronage. 

When I heard of it the first time it was from the lips of a serving boy I had developed a crush on. That hurt more than anything even though he was just a messenger it still felt like a betrayal. I had two days to finish my current tasks and then I would be forced to attend to the King well he stayed in King’s landing. The only thing that quieted my fears was that it seemed he was flying out every few months to burn down another village of his enemy dornishmen. That and everyone thought he would be dead within a fortnight. The bounty on his head was so large it was said to be three times his own holdings. 

Still when I heard the news I cried weeping for what I thought would be my soon to be death. I was thirteen and had yet not flowered and I thought how unfair the world was. Born the daughter of a fishmonger and his wife, the only real connection I had was to my sister. I was a bitter not very pretty thing with gangly limbs and a lanky figure. My nose was too long and my cheeks too narrow giving me a always pinched look. 

At the time I secretly hoped for a fateful match: someone to love and cherish me, someone who would hold me close when the nights grew cold and we didn’t have enough cloth in the entire house to keep us warm. I even imagined someone wealthy like the baker's son or the blacksmiths boy having their mark match mine. Where I had a servant or two who would help me with my chores and even a guard who would watch over me when my husband wasn’t home. So, I was honestly like most girls, especially servants who wished to put their past behind them and feel less the biting chill of knowing that a single mistake could end in your death. 

I thought it cruel why the world would doom me to death so young, as if I was some tragic child from one of old nan’s tales muttering about until a holy sword was found and the white walker killed. 

I dressed myself the first day I met him in the nicest dress. I owned a woolen gray piece that washed me out and that a suitor had gifted my pretty sister that she had thought to drab and so gifted it to me in turn. I did not look at him when I entered his chambers to dress him. I knew not to look at him. All servants learn the artful skill of traveling any distance without looking up, the best way to keep attention off us. 

I saw dark boots the first time I saw him and he smelled like smoke, blood and the stench of a dragon. I had never smelt it before but the reek of it was so strong I could not have mistaken it for anything else. I knew not to scrunch my nose, I knew that would probably get me killed. He was standing. I could tell that at least before a mirror it seemed but I only got the quick gleam off it and then it was gone. I did a quick deep curtsy, the ones taught to us by the keeper of the housestaff whenever we were hired but did not speak. I knew better than to speak. 

It took a long time for him to finish examining himself as I stared at the thick intricate rug on the floor. Highlander make with roses and petals woven throughout. I thought it a funny thing to have on the floor of a dragon. 

When my knees were beginning to ache from the strain the constant crouched position put on them he spoke.

“Dress me for morning” 

His voice was deep, rich with many flavors; it seemed to slide over my skin and sink in deep. I did not let the shiver it produced in me show and went to retrieve his tunic. A day earlier my sister had bribed one of the keepers of the chamber into showing me around the room and telling me where everything I would need would be. I spent the last day doing nothing but memorizing the information. After all, it was the only thing that would ensure my life. 

It was a quick affair dressing him with my hands efficient and movements quick, I was glad for my experiencing dressing the noble younglings in that moment more than anything though I despised it before I was glad I knew every clasp and every knot needed to be made to make the outfit as comfortable and flexible as possible. Then I fell into another deep curtsy and he was gone. For just a second I caught the black unassemble out of the corner of my eye and it made me draw a startled breath so quiet only I could hear. In that moment the tall handsome figure of a wraith stalked past me with all the gravity of the dead. It just terrified me even more. 

When I went home to the small apartment my sister was able to secure on a fletching street due to another of her more wealthy paramores I almost tumbled into a heap on my floor. The lock clicked behind me with the door closing. My sister was there of course tumbling to me and holding me in her arms well I wept. 

That night she interrogated me on everything that happened and then went through with me everything that I could have done better. Don’t twitch when you see the king make no sounds, even the shuffling or your feet should be as quiet as a mouse. That is what my sister said: be invisible as invisible as I can. She promised me she would have my transfer soon so that I would be safe soon. 

For weeks it went on like that I would sneak my way through the king's chambers only making enough noise not to startle him. Dressing him in morning black and then seeing him leave. 

It was not until two weeks later after my first day that I saw his soul mark the famous one. When he had first arrived in Westeros and those he forced to bend the knee learned of the fact that his favorite was unmarked and that his other paramore did not share his mark. The fact he was a sword swallower of less import but gossiped about more. It caused the greatest of scandals; it was said that if they were simply petty lords then those sworn to their banner may have risen in rebellion at such an affront to the gods old and new. That was the problem though they were not petty lords at all they were conquered and that mattered far more. 

The mark was of two hands female and calloused as if a servant with a great red dragon circling the mark as if a chain. It was beautiful and I almost made the mistake of openly staring at it quickly correcting myself before I gained notice. My heart jumped a few beats faster at the fear pounding in me but the King made no comment and seemed not to notice my slip up. When I told my sister of the mistake she berated me as the sun fellow completely below the horizon and then she clung to me all throughout the night as we laid in our hay bed clutching at each other. Soon, she promised soon this whole nightmare would be no more, soon. 

If only she had known, if only I had known. 

That night I dreamt of my hands reaching for a rope trying to claw away as a dragon screamed behind me, chasing me. As my hands bleed and the shadow of something so large it eclipsed the sun fell over me. I woke to the memory of claws clasping around my body. Screaming my lungs as if someone was driving a dagger into my heart.

I tried not to look at the king's mark after that. 

Most thought I would be dead within a month when I surpassed that there was surprise on the faces of my fellow servants. It made me more wary of them. I found it was less and less easy to trust them. I lost weight in that time becoming almost skeletal in my figure whatever fat on me falling away to nothing. When I looked in still water all I saw was a ghoul, I thought that if the king did not kill me surely starvation or sickness would. I almost hoped it would then at least I could stop living in constant fear of taking one wrong step, one wrong word. 

The king though for all my fear never seemed wraithful, he barely seemed aware of me at all. Then one day I realized just how close attention the king was giving me. It terrified me even more than if he wasn’t. 

The other king had stormed in that day yelling in his high Valyrian throwing his hands about as if he was going to curse the king. I felt his eyes on me just for a second briefly flitting over to me then disregarding me just as quickly when he turned the full force of his attention to his husband. I skittered over to one of the corners and just tried to make myself smaller. All servants knew that this king was just as likely to kill as Aegon and sometimes even more so. 

Aegon came and held him for a few moments seeming to calm him down and then he was gone in the same whirlwind he had appeared. The rest of the servants soon followed. I turned to get back to my work, the King having stormed in when the king's Aegon doublet was partially undone when I heard his voice. So silk and smooth it seemed to slither over me. 

“You look thinner” 

My hands were busy tying up his side and for just a moment I thought he was referring to someone else. It wasn’t until one of his hands moved up and took my wrist between his thumb and forefinger that I realized he was talking to me. The very thought made me freeze every muscle in my body, locking up as if I was turned into a statue. He turned my wrist this way and seemed to examine it. I was shaking at that point, a slight quiver I could not stop. 

“You should eat more” He seemed to stop his assessment, surprised at his own actions and dropping my wrist almost as if repulsed. Quicker than I had ever before I finished tying his doublet then with a quick but deep curtsy and a mumbled “yes, my king” I was gone.  Shaking all the way, once I was in the servants passage I ran as fast as I could until I reached the latrines and threw up watery bile. Pucking up the small amount I was able to force down that morning. 

I didn’t tell my sister this time but she saw my face and seemed to know anyway clutching at me as we fell into a pile on the floor again just whispering soon, soon, soon. I could see the deep bags under her eyes and the smell of sweat on her skin and for the first time I had hope. 

The king was gone the next morning flying out to Dorne to once again lay siege to the land's villages. I was relieved of my duties while he was gone and allowed to return to my role as a scholar's assistant. In that time I was able to steady my diet and slowly feel more normal again. 

That is until my thirteenth summer passed and I bled for the first time. The idea of my soulmate had escaped my mind during my time as the king’s maid but now it came back with a vengeance being the only thing I could think about. When my first blood came a day after and I woke to my sheets stained with red. I scrunched up my nose and got to work cleaning and scrubbing the fabric down by the river as I put on my sister's special linen clothes, the ones she promised she would allow me to wear the first time I bleed. My fingers froze in the cold water and turned red but I just scrubbed harder. 

I was incredibly eager to see if I could find the mark. It was not until I had drawn up my sheets on the line connected out our window that I turned to wake my sister. She had slumped over on the kitchen table the nicest piece of furniture we had in our entire home some minor lordly lover had given to her. I felt guilty about waking her. I knew she was exhausted trying to scheme me to safety but I needed to know no matter what at that moment I needed to know. I could feel them on my back and no matter how much I turned I could not see them. 

She gurgled to late meekly trying to waive me away but I found that no bother I just shook her shoulder harder. When she saw my grinning face, something I had rarely done in the last month she did not complain. Simply stumbling up from her chair her own weary if not unamused smile on her face. She had remained unmarked and when our parents had found out they threw her out I soon followed after her as we made our way from our sleepy village to the rumored king's landing in a city they said would be the jewel of an empire. It was no jewel just shit and desperate people though the first few months had been hard we had settled after that everything simply fell into routine. 

When she had finished tying my undershirt I expected teasing something about my mark being plain as horse dung or cute as a bulldog. I didn’t expect confused silence followed by a horrified gasp. I felt her hands fall away from my back and heard them moving to wrap around herself. 

I turned quickly expecting something like laughter to follow, for this to be one of her pranks if a particular mean one. I wasn’t expecting the raw terror on her face or the frightened keening sounds she was making. 

“What!?” I asked, frightened by her freight. She took a moment to collect herself as if scared to say the words. 

“You have two.”

“Two soulmarks?” My eyes furrowed at that confused it was rare but not so unheard of to be impossible often being seen as a blessing even. I did not know why that frightened her. 

Seeing the incomprehension on my face she just shook her head. “On-one” as if struggling to speak I saw her collect herself “One is a songbird locked in a cage of blood.” the words leaving her in a rush as if they burned her. 

I took in a startled breath at that staring at her as if she had grown a second head. 

“No” the spilling out of me was broken. For there was a very famous soul mark so famous it is sung about. Sir Lancur and his desperate bid to convince general Visenya to be his lover he had faked his soulmark on his skin. When he had declared the fallacy and had him beheaded Visenya had presented his soul mark to the waiting crowd. A songbird in a cage of blood. 

“No” I whispered again, not willing to believe it. As if I was just in some strange twisted dream.

Then in sudden horrified realization I grabbed my sister's arms with both hands as if to draw strength from her and begged “the other? What was the other?”

She was just shaking her head back and forth, face pale still my words seem to shake her out of her daze. “Wh-what?” she asked.

“The other please sister what was the other?” 

The words she spoke sealed my fate “an arm, a female arm with a red dragon circling it.” 

I just fell there in a daze, my knees hitting the ground as if they were hard as rock. I knew they would feel that I knew that they would have felt the cold in my fingers from earlier this morning. 

I could feel them then as their foreign presence started to seep into my mind. As if they were vultures circling my corpse. Their tentative probs started to poke curiously at my most intimate space. My very own mind. I watched the dust circle the air round and round falling to the ground as if forever trying to escape the inevitable. My sister shook my shoulder trying to arouse me from my stupor but to no avail. Within seconds my eyes had started to drop and all I could think was that I was so so tired. 

I felt my sister catch me and their curious grasping hands fading from my mind as sleep enveloped me. 

I dreamt of dragons and cages. 

When I woke up next my sister was there handing me water to quench my thirst and tending to my fever placing a cool gentle hand onto my head. I woke up trying to push her off thinking about how I had to get to work, that I had to get to work before something terrible happened. I almost fell twice placing my feet in boots, study and leather, another gift from a suitor my sister had no taste for. Then I was throwing scratchy wool against my skin. My sister was behind me the entire time telling me how a deep sleep was common when someone first got their soulbound. That I didn’t have to go, that I could stay here with her and that we would run so far and fast they would never catch us. That we could be together and that she would protect me. 

I felt them at the edge of my mind far enough away from me that they felt more like a distant presence more than anything. They were like the buzz of a particular annoying flea trying to bite my ear.

Their own minds when I tried to reach back were shut to me, I tried to close my own mind off and suddenly I felt a great lashing clawing thing rear up in my mind making me cry out as they tour my defenses down. It felt like someone had stabbed me in the back of the head and I wrapped my hands around my head trying to shield it from their attack. They weren’t searching for information then just trying to make it hurt. Their inky blackness and flame spreading made my eyes throb. I knew then what I had to do.  No turning back. 

As I was opening the door my sister threw herself at me clutching me so close and tight it nearly bruised I felt their indignation at the back of my mind. Their dislike of someone else touching me. I ignored them and just held my sister to me. We were both crying tears and snot running down my face and for just a second I thought to run away with her. Surely, they could not follow me to the very ends of the earth? At that thought as if they could hear it their tentative reach suddenly turned ice cold and like knives diving into my mind trying to break me apart despite our distance. Though it was still weak no matter how strong they may be, it was still enough to weaken their attempt that instead of screaming on the floor in agony like I know they wanted me to be I just gained a slight headache. Still, the dark promise in their action was enough to cow me. 

As much as I wanted to be the ferocious heroine in some tale I knew that I was but a serving girl no more than thirteen. That as much as I could hope I could stand up to two kings that slayed the nation on dragon that was a foolish hope. One impossible to fulfill. 

So I detached myself from my sister slowly unwinding myself from her and her arms. When I finally opened the door and turned a goodbye on my lips the words became stuck in my throat. Her eyes said enough flicking away from me as if she was watching me walk to my execution.  I just swallowed the tears that had suddenly stuck in my throat and started my march to what I once feared would be my death. I didn’t know if it was better or worse now that instead I knew I was walking toward my prison. 

A king does not let his soulmate walk around free and unprotected. Uncontrolled. Especially two kings. Two conquerors. 

I felt them with each step I took growing stronger, their reach extending father and father over the back of mind. What should have been romantic, the deep personal connection between soulmates had been turned into something worse. Something controlling. 

It was not a long walk for as much as King’s landing had grown since its founding. We had taken one of the apartments closer to the castle that had still been being built when we had first arrived when I was five and my sister was thirteen. 

Soon enough I was through the castle walls. It was strange for a moment. I thought that once I had walked through the castle gates an army of knights would swoop down on me and arrest me right there to bring me to the deepest darkest dungeons in the castle. Or that the kings themselves would be waiting there for me in the front yard. Tall and silver and strong with their Valyrian blades. The amused feeling in the back of my mind reminded me that my soulmates did not know who I was. 

Knowing not what I looked like, I took a kind of vindictive pleasure that the dragon riders had me as a mate. One so plain and gangly. That feeling quickly soured when another wave amusement rose in my mind and I knew they wanted me to feel that. As if to tell me that no matter my appearance they would not free me. 

My eyes felt strangely dry as I wandered into the servants passage, my chest strangely calm as I walked toward my fate. I heard the other servants whisper about how king Visenya had swept into King Aegon’s chambers. How King Aegon had suddenly arrived the night before as if in a rush flying Balerion in his rush to get home. It had been a year now since Queen Rhaenys had died and many thought he had found a new lover. When he returned with no such women the rumors switched to the fact that King Visenya had mobilized the city guard and that they were preventing any crime from occuring on the roads near the castle.

I felt a shiver at realizing that the king may have known more than I suspected and a amused feeling washing over me simply confirming my suspicions. The other presence had a strangely cold feeling to it. As if unwilling to acknowledge what is happening. 

It is easy to slip by the guards and maids waiting outside the king’s room. Most recognize me as the king’s handmaiden and he has recently arrived back from his journey little other questions are asked. When I slip through the side door that allows servants to enter without alarming the residents. I try to blend into the wall. I can hear arguing inside in old valyrian. The two men's voices are harsh and as deep as always. Commanding and almost arrogant. 

Their speaking rises in sound until it suddenly stops. I feel two pairs of eyes on me suddenly seeming to press me down into the ground and it makes me want to curl my shoulders. I hear one open his mouth as if to ask what a maid is doing, disturbing them when the voice I recognize as King Visenya lets out a “ah.”

This seems to freeze the other in place as I hear no more shifting and then who I assume to be King Aegon lets out a sigh. Deep and tired. “So you are the one.” it should be a question, it is not. 

I don’t speak simply nod my head. Not daring to look up when I hear shifting and then footsteps coming toward me. I flinch slightly as they approach but do not try to move further. 

A shadow encompassed me then a body standing in front tall and masculine eyes trained down on my bowed head. I can feel them observing me boring into my skull. Then in a flicker of movement I see his arms moving toward me. They are athletic and corded in muscle. I can see that even beneath the fine silk tunic that hangs from his arms. Then his hands are upon my face thick scarred fingers with calluses that scratched against my skin resting against my cheeks. The man's manicured nails seemed to stand out the most to me in the corner of my eye. 

“Look at me” I realize now that he has a softer silk like voice compared to the other king. It reminds me vaguely of a viper. When I don’t respond he slowly forces my head up to meet him until I am looking directly into a handsome face and violet eyes colder than ice.

 Within one instant and the next one of their presences turns from a simmering observer to talons ranching into my mind cutting into it like one cuts butter with a hot knife. I vaguely hear someone screaming and I think it is me but all I can think about is the PAIN PAIN PAIN. 

Just as suddenly as it appeared it is gone the only evidence it is leaving in its wake is a dull throb that seems to pulse through my head. I realize that in my panic my knees had given out and that the King Visyna is holding me tight to his chest, squishing my arms against his front as another of his hands keeps my head steady. 

I realize a moment later that I have bitten my cheek and can taste the copper flavor in my mouth. I start crying tears falling down my cheeks softly. 

He stares at me and when he sees me start crying he moves his hand away from my face and starts petting my hair. Moving my head into his chest and holding me close. Making a shushing sound as if I was a child. 

“So it is true.” I startle a little at King Aegon speaking but King Visenya just tightens his arms at my movement. 

Visenya hums a little and continues to pet my hair. 

There is another sigh and I hear movement and a door opening a sharp bark to the servants and the door closing a moment later. 

“Let me look at her.” The command is clear and Visenya doesn't hesitate to turn me around his arms, laying his head atop mine and placing his hands at my thin waist. Presenting me like I am a calf at the market. I shift uncomfortable at the intimacy but a quick squeeze from powerful hands stops me from protesting more than that. 

King Aegon moves into my view and leaning against one of the mahogany wood of one of his tables set up around the room to display maps across them. I see him taking me in and I take him in turn. He is handsome. I can see strong bones and a prominent chin. Deep eyes that seem to stare into my soul. Broad shoulders and tall muscular like a knight with golden silver hair that catches the light.

All in all he is every girl's dream. The thought turns my stomach. 

“Not much to look at.” His words hurt me despite me knowing better. Flicking my eyes downward to not look into those searching violets. “Weak too” 

There is a laugh from behind me that is sharp and cruel. “I like her weak” makes me shift again as King Visenya starts rubbing circles into my heaps with his thumbs. 

Aegon only hums at that “she will need to be guarded.” Another quick burst of laughter behind. “Only the best” another hum at that from Aegon “She will rarely leave oursides.”

I freeze at that but Aegon just quickly looks up into his brother's eyes. Seeming to find what he is looking for he seems to contemplate the statement for a second gives a small sharp nod of her head. 

He unfurls himself from the table he is leaning against coming toward us. I squirm a bit but Visenya keeps me in place as almost hesitantly King Aegon gently places his hand against my cheek. He looks at me then full in the face, seeming to take me in for the first time. His hands are much like his brothers except his nails are rough, pocketed with dirt and stained slightly yellow. 

He then slowly, as if unsure, rubs a thumb across my cheek. The sensation feels like a rock slowly sliding against my skin and leaves a pleasant burn where it touches. I meet his eyes and can’t help but stare into their grief stained depths. I don’t even really hear the conversation in high valyrian above me, only catching a few words here and there. Just watching the dark flecks of purple seeming to shift and change in his eyes. 

“Nyke miss zȳhon.” (I miss her) 

“Nyke gīmigon lēkia nyke gīmigon, nyke gaomagon tolī yn sir īlon līs mīsagon another.” (I know brother I know, I do to but now we have another to protect)

“Ziry iksos yn nykeā hāedar.” (she is but a girl) 

“Kessa, yn ziry iksos īlvon.” (yes, but she is ours) 

“Should īlon ruaragon zȳhon, lock zȳhon qrīdrughagon skoriot mērī īlon kostagon find zȳhon?” (should we hide her, lock her away where no one can find her?”)

“Ziry jāhor sagon safer ondoso īlva paktot”

 (she will be safer by our side)

“īlon jāhor pryjagon zȳhon” (we will destroy her)

I feel a shrug behind me and I feel as if my very fate is declared in that next moment. 

“Her fate was sealed the moment our marks appeared on her flesh.” I whimper at that as both kings hold me one from behind and one in front. 

Aegon looks down upon me again gazing into my eyes and then leaning places a kiss on my forehead as if in apology. 

I hear shuffling behind the door then the movement of many bodies moving in tandem. For a second both Kings look each other in the eye. Then with a nod I am being guided over to the bed and tucked under the great stuffed comfort made of smoothest silk and the mattress made of goose feathers. Then I feel both their bodies moving on either side of me tucking me between them. Visenya curls me into his side and my hair falls into my face. I go to move it when Aegon places a hand on mine forcing my hand back down and under the blanket. Then there is a hand on my forehead shielding me from others' view as he rubs gentle circles into forehead. 

The servants are quick with their work. I see not what they are doing but hear their grunting and know they are carrying something heavy. There is quick curious looks ourway but none dare to stare. Then I hear the splashing of water and think they are filling a tub. When they are done I hear shuffling and then I am alone once more with my soulmates. 

They do not speak as they get out of the bed, Aegon picking me up as I squeak in surprise. Then my feet are placed back onto the ground and I am shuffled over to what I know can see is a tub. It is filled with water hot and steaming wafts from it. I feel drowsy. I realize that they are making me complaint, almost petting my brain as if to sooth me. Inside a part of me screams and cries and screams but that part is very quiet. 

They are beside me on either side standing tall and straight boxing me in. I am a young girl and they are tall full grown men. The thought that they are twenty years my senior only turns my stomach a little yet still turns it. Then their hands are on me again going through the process that I have done a million times with Aegon. Slipping the woolen shift of my body with Visenya kneeling down and taking my feet in his hands and slipping the hard leather shoes off my feet and then the thick scratch socks. 

He throws them away in disgust and I have a feeling I won’t ever see them again. Even though I was so proud of them. 

Soon enough my shift and then outer shift is gone too and I stand naked before them. I would feel ashamed I should and a little of it creeps in but that same drunken drowsy feeling is in my mind making it hard to focus. 

It helps that I know there is not much to look at. I have been mistaken for a boy before for how flat my chest is and I have no hips to speak of. My legs are thin and long. I know I am not feminine I always hated that but my sister always told me it was a blessing. 

They both take a step back leaving me there swaying naked in the open air. They take me in then examine me. I cannot read their faces but I can tell there is no desire in them. Then I sway a little too far left and I am caught by Visenya who quickly takes me, picking me up and then placing me into the hot water. I let out a hiss of air, the heat stinging. Then Aegon is taking a jar with the fancy perfumes that the nobility used. I always liked it when I put it in ladies hairs it would make my hands all soft. 

Then he placed the liquid in it in his hands, it was thick like heated milk and as white. Then his hands touch my scalp and he is lathering it in my hair. Rubbing slow circles into my skull as the soupy liquid coats my hair. Beside him Visenya is taking a fine soft hemp cloth rare from Dorne and placing more soapy substance in it that smells like lavender. 

He takes my arm, his hands gentle as he rubs the substance into my skin. They do this for a long time cleaning me. When he touches my breast he doesn't stay long simply a quick clean wipe and then he is moving again. Then Aegon’s hands dunk me under the warm water pressing me down softly so he can get the stuff out of my hair. The water from the bath becomes murky as they wash more and more of me. As I shed the dirt I have known for my whole life.

They don’t speak in their labor simply continue at it. Visenya takes a small, almost thin piece of metal and removes the dirt from under and around my fingernails as Aegon takes a thin sharp blade and a white milky foam and removes the hair on my arm.

I see Visenya frown slightly at my calloused hands and tanned skin. The blade goes over my arms and legs. Then the blade goes close to my most intimate space and I shift uncomfortably. Visenya looking at my shifting just shakes his head. 

“At the end” a nod from Aegon and they continue. I was always lucky not to have a unibrow but two thin pieces of metal prized by noble women are in Visenya hands after he is done with my hands and he starts pulling out the air at my eyebrows. 

Then when they are done with their task I am once more dunked into the now dirty water and pulled out. The cloth is picked up again and in a quick professional wipe goes over my intimate place. The bleeding had stopped the day before when I slept but a disgusting residual had remained. They don’t flinch at this, then the razor is picked up once more and Visenya moves to hold my legs apart. I am too tired to protest as quickly and uninterestedly the foam is placed there and a razor is placed over the pink flesh. Before I realize it the hair is removed and I am placed in the water one last time. 

Then two hands go under my arms lifting me out of the water. I shiver for a second until I step out of the bath and a warm fur is placed around me, the hair pricking all over my skin.  It looks like a wolf and is expensive. 

Then I am bundled up between them once again and Visenya is holding me against him and toward the large bed. I am tucked in beside him as Aegon calls for servants once again to remove the bath. Then he is joining us in bed on the other side of me and I am boxed in once again. I fall asleep between the two of them dozing off as two heavy arms are draped over me trapping me between them. 

When I wake the next morning I am alone with a pounding headache and blurry eyes. For just a second I think it all a dream until I feel the silk sheets on my skin and I know it is not. I feel one of them notice me waking up but ignore it. I don’t realize that I am naked until I move from the bed and feel the cold air on my skin. 

I quickly blush brightly even more so when I remember how the two dragon lords cleaned me yesterday and scramble to get the fur blanket I was cloaked in. 

I hid under the covers after that embarrassed blushing furiously. I feel amusant and satisfied at my actions and I realize they left me without clothes to wear on purpose to force me to stay in bed. I feel angry at that but know I can do nothing about it.

I try to look around for a second to see the drawer I know so well but when I spot it and start moving out of the sheets to make my way toward it I hear the door opening and I dive back under the covers. 

Bring them to fully cover me. I see three maids walk in and my eyes widen. I reconquinze them and that makes me uncomfortable for them to see me like this. Yet, like I only recently did they don’t meet my eye looking down. They cutesy deep making a shiver run down my back. I stare at them for a second confused until I realize that they're waiting for me to move. Making me even more uncomfortable. They are the experienced ones high up there in social rank for maids and I can’t help but wonder what the servants are gossiping about me. 

I feel supremely uncomfortable but still scramble to get out of the sheets. I know how uncomfortable kneeling for long periods of time is and don’t wish to subject them to it. 

I keep the fur around me however I am too embarrassed to drop it and present my naked body to them. Still, they stay there kneeling and I know I they won't move until they can dress me. I shiver a little in the cold air but they are already moving before I even realize it. One of them is carrying a small chest big enough for an outfit and she places it on the ground unlocking it. Then they are pulling out a fine white linen shift that they drape over me. I wish to speak to them but I cannot catch any of their eyes. So I stand there awkwardly. The door had been closed after they had entered the room and I am glad for the protection of my modesty. Then again it is possible that my modesty, a rare commodity before, will be far better protected now that I know who my soulmates are. 

Then they are pulling silk stockings up my legs. The material is so soft it seems to cling to me. It is the nicest outfit I have ever worn and I am simply in the underclothes. Garters are tied uncomfortable tightly around my legs holding them up. I am given leather slippers and I frown a little at how difficult it will be to walk in them, the souls providing only slight protection. A petty coat is laid on top a deep red the color of my soulmates. The kurtle is added next a black thing that seems to pale me out. I am not given anything else to wear and I realize that I most likely will not be leaving the chambers that day. They sit me down and start brushing my hair out with a thick wooden brush untangling the notes with white cream. Then it is up in a bun tight without any hair showing, plaiting my hair up. Then it is placed in a linen coith as one might for a married woman. I wish to protest but now it wiser not to. 

This takes a whole hour as I shift uncomfortably at their ministries and my stomach is starting to rumble though I make no comment of it knowing hunger to intimately to pay it any mind.  Though the presences in my head seem to be displeased at my hunger. 

When the maids are nearing completion I feel the bond growing stronger and I know they are coming. 

They walk in a moment later tall and strong, their doublets as deep red as my kurtle. The maids bow to them and I get up to join them but the tendrils in my mind stroke over my thoughts telling me to remain seated in that strange indescribable way of theirs. 

Behind them two servants carry large serving trays full of food and their rich scents reach my nose making my stomach gurgle at the smell. Causing me to blush the red reaching my cheeks causing Visenya to smile and Aegon’s features to soften. I look away to hide my flush but I am sitting so rigidly that even turning my face away I know has no effect except to amuse them more. Both their eyes are on me watching me. With a wave of Aegon’s hand. The servants that have finished dressing me leave and the ones carrying the food place it gently on the table and then they are away closing the doors behind them. 

Then Visenya is pulling up another great oak chair in front of me and Aegon goes and stands behind me placing his hands on my shoulders holding me down softly. I fill Aegon move in and take a whiff of my hair making me shift slightly. His nose is next to my hair. 

“She smells better” 

Visenya frowns at that and then gesturing at me replies “she is too thin” a grunt from Aegon and then Visenya is picking up one of the pieces of grape that is on the metal platter. 

Lifting it to my lips and looking at me expectantly I shift a few more times and try to lift my arm to take the grape from him but he just shakes his head and places his free hand on my raised arm. Seeing no other escape I simply look down a blush once again creeping across my cheeks and then opening my mouth. Shighly. 

He placed the grape in my mouth and the explosion of sweetness burst through my mouth. I closed my eyes slightly at how good it tastes and without realizing I placed my lips gently around his finger that still lingered in my mouth. He sucked in a startled breath staring intensely at where his thumb laid against my lips. Soon, the salty taste of skin flooded my mouth and I popped my lips off the digit. The sound of a wet squelch following. Yet, he didn’t remove his hand, instead moving his thumb to press down on my tongue stroking it. I shake my head at this but I feel Aegon squeeze my shoulders at that chasting and make me still my head. 

Visenya rubs his thumb pack and fourth a few times the nail scraping over the sensitive flesh. I struggle to breathe a little more difficulty and spit starts too well up in my mouth. I start to fidget for a very different reason but before anything else happens he pops his thumb out of my mouth running the now shiny flesh against my dry lips for a second wetting them and then he is taking a cloth from the platter and wiping his thumb as if finished a task. 

He is not even breathing heavily and I feel as if I am panting. 

He lets out a little laugh at my fully red face and with a cruel smile states “we will have to be careful with this one, brother.” Aegon just grunting once more. 

“She will not leave our sight for long” he uses his own thumbs then to press little circles in my shoulders.  

My stomach turns a little bit at the possessive longing in Visenya's eyes. Then the feminine king hums at the words in agreement and picks up another piece of grape but this time I am careful not to let his thumb stay in my mouth. 

“So you must be curious about what you shall do today?” Visenya asks as he pops another grape in my mouth and I just nod. It is hard to focus again as if their very presence makes my head feel all foggy. The circles in my skin make my tense muscles relax. 

Visenya continues as he feeds me. 

“You have a season with our master today on proper etiquette and with our cousin Velaryon. She is the one who lent you the clothes you wear.” I frown slightly and try to speak as he pops another fruit into my mouth. Raising my hand to indicate that I wish to speak Visenya relents with an amused air about him. 

“I know not about noble costumes?” I say with some trepidation. 

He just nods his head and pops another piece of fruit in my mouth, an apple slice this time. “That is already known” I frown at that uncomfortable with the nobility knowing about me but he just continues placing a piece of cheese in my mouth this time. “She is a sweet girl and she will understand” still at the doubt in my eyes he adds “do not worry we will have eyes on you throughout the duration if she steps over line then it will be seen as disrespect to us directly and will be treated accordingly"  I just frown hard at that though. 

“Your wardrobe is being prepared but it will be many months until it is finished. Clothes will be provided but you will not be permitted to leave our chambers until you are deemed ready. Is that understood?” The question is more of a command than anything and I look down as I mumble out a “yes.”

He places the last piece of food from the first plate into my mouth and then uses his other hand to gently place a hand on my cheek. “Good, my sweet” the pet name made me shiver once again. 

Then Aegon hands are off me and before I realize he bends down to place a kiss on my hair well Visenya takes my hand in his and lays his lips against my knuckles in a chaste kiss of his own then with a wink both exit and I am left alone for a moment or two stunned. 

It does not take long for Lady Velaryon to arrive followed by a pot bellied old man. I am passing when they enter worrying my lip between my teeth in agitation. I stop and try to pull my back straight as they answer, trying to project strength when both stand head and shoulders above me. I know I need allies and I hope they will be some. I know the kings want me isolated as much as possible so I am entirely reliant on them. 

I have seen it in other lords who find their soulmate. No one wants your soulmate to turn on you, you can never kill them. 

She is far prettier than me and I feel a flash of jealousy as I realize that she outshines me like the moon outshines the stars. All obsidian skin, the texture of ivory and expansive hips and breast that attract the eye. Hair white and beautiful in braids of whitish black that should look sickly but seem to only bring her deep brown eyes out more. Thick lips and a strong nose. I dislike her immediately despite her having the kindest expression I have seen from any in court so far. 

She smiles at me almost shyly and it makes me feel guilty about my immediately distaste for her.

When she speaks her voice is deep and husky making me feel even more envious and deepening the turbulent feelings inside me. I wonder for a second if they sent her intentionally because they knew I would feel jealous of her beauty. I try not to think about it. 

“Greetings, lady Targaryen, it is a pleasure to meet you.” I realize that she is probably my age making me feel even more guilty of how I feel toward her. 

Still I am confused by the title furrowing my brow at it. “I am no Targaryen.”

She laughs almost nervously and spund is  delicate and inciting at the same time as her eyes flick around as if looking for spies. Even the sleepy old master who followed her stiffened at my statement seeming to become aware all of a sudden. “Do not joke, my lady” making me frown at the form of address. 

“But it is true?” I insist. 

Another nervous laugh “My lady Targaryen” she emphasizes the title her liting voice seeming to make the sound southing and strong "everyone knows you are the Kings soulbound."

“That doesn't make me a Targaryen?” I question.

 The master rushes in the seeming to see an opportunity. He is a portly man with a bald head, short stature and long white beard. I think him the master from the rumors I remembered of the one that liked to visit whore houses. His open desperation shows that he will be no ally of mine making me frown. 

“My lady, the moment that you soulmates recognized the noble connection you shared with them you became their consort in all but name.” I frown again deeper but I can see the fear now plaintent on their faces and I realize that both have been selected specifically so that I would find it hard to form a connection with them. 

My fears are confirmed by the implications alone and I feel some desperate hope in my chest give out as I realize that all who I will meet from now on will be firmly under the king’s thumb. 

My shoulders drop at that thought and I simply nod my head the relief on both their faces clear from my acknowledgement of what they said. 

“Then my lady should we get started?” the pretty lady answers and I simply nod my head once again. 

They were right. She is a sweet girl too young to realize how men must look at her. I feel less dislike for her as the lesson goes on but more pity. We are both shy creatures though and it makes interactions difficult. Still for all they must have choose her for character she is a good teacher and I learn quickly. We started embroidery that day. She sits with me and teaches me basic stitches like back stitches and steam stitches. It takes me a few minutes to learn how to tie the note on the end of the string making me blush and I try to pull the hoops apart rather than see the wooden screw that holds the pieces together. Making me more embarrassed. 

We break for lunch another platter of food and there is a note left for me that I cannot read. She blushes slightly at the words, her dark cheeks warming and seems to make a high keening sound. I look at her and she tells me that the note is instructions from the dragon lords telling me to eat at least half the plate and that my instructors will tell them if I don’t. She says it is sweet and charming. They care so much but considering what they told me early this morning I know that it is not just our instructors who will inform them of my eating habits. 

After a lunch so filling that my stomach aches from being overfull, Lady Velaryon tells me she must leave now to attend to other duties as the servants clean up our dishes. I try to catch one of their eyes but all look down. 

She tells me that master Jon will continue my afternoon lessons. My throbbing fingers seem to ache less at this statement and I smile a little. Though less so when I see two knights in steel armor enter the room as the servants exit. 

Seeing my eyes she just smiles and says “I forget my Lady that you are new to all this.” a statement I seriously doubt. 

“They shall champion you as the master teaches you.” I raise my eyebrow at this and stare pointedly at the tired old man who couldn’t so much as hand me something without hurting himself. She just smiles again a secretive little smile as if we are friends discussing handsome lords. “You are Lady Targaryen” as if that is enough to answer my silent question. 

I just look away from the knights who have stationed themselves at the entrance, their piercing gaze staring away from us and yet I know they watch us closely. 

The afternoon lessons proceed as the morning ones did slowly but not painfully. The master teaches me the basic alphabet and his final goal is to teach me to read. I seem much better at this task than embroidery and my seeming competence as a scholar's assistant seems to help me in the task. After all, I have spent the last three years looking over at the scraggly symbols being taught to me now. Meaning I am already comfortable with them and we move directly toward reading basic children's stories. The old man seemed relieved at my competence, probably fearing that he would have to teach me completely from the ground up. 

The guards are a constant presence in their chainmail and leather jerkins swords at their sides, a constant warning. 

When the sun started to fade below the horizon both the guards and the master left me in peace bowing to me as they left. Then a flurry of servants with pitchers of hot water flowed in after they left, making me groan a little from the constant presence of others soon enough. Different but high ranking maids from earlier were taking my outlayers off leaving me in nothing but my under shift. Sitting me down and unplatting my hair from the tight position it had been in all day. I wince in relief as the tight coils are released some unknown tension from their tight position. 

None look at me or acknowledge my presence once again and I just mutely let them drape a thick woolen shawl over my shoulders. Returning me to the property and then watching them leave as more servants soon wander in carrying another platter of food as my guards who had re-entered my room at the new servant's presence watch them warily. 

Then another servant, one better dressed then the others waits behind as the others leave. I know this to be a master of messages and know that the only reason he would be here is if the kings had sent a message with them. Once only he remains and my guards he clears his throat and in a self important voice as if he wasn’t talking of my dinner habits but affairs of state announced. 

“Our lordly kings kindly request that you finish all food within the confines of what has been given to you. They also wish to inform you that they will join you late in the night and ask you to sleep without them.” Then without a hint of shame on his thin face the man marches out his high ivory heels sicking softly into the thick fabric of the carpet. 

I meanwhile am blushing again, something I seem to do a lot. Embarrassed at the command and the fact it will soon be public knowledge. I know that was intentional too if I need someone to tell me to eat, I would not be very intelligent to others making them even less willing to side with me.

I stare at the food for a second thinking of disobeying them and when my stomach groans in protest against even more food being stuffed in it I decide to take at least this freedom. The only reason I leave it is that I know anything uneaten is taken to the servants to eat something that ensures me that it will not go to waste. Too many hungry nights making the thought of food going to waste turn my stomach. Instead of slipping into one of the chairs by the only window in the room, glass and steel prevented any kind of escape from it. Staring out the window and slowly drifting off to sleep. 

That night I dream of violets. 

When I wake I feel a soft mattress against my cheek and hard muscle under me. My sleepy mind disoriented from not being where I had fallen asleep. I try to move my arms to push away from the hard muscles to the side of me but then I feel thick corded muscles around my waist and I suddenly snap awake realizing very quickly that my soulbound had moved me to the bed. My muscles untensing. 

“So you awake.” Visenya's voice says from somewhere behind me and I shiver slightly at his cold tone. I realize that Aegon holds me tightly to him and I squirm a little trying to get free, he just tightens his arms. 

“You have displeased us” the words spoken from Aegon making me stiffen and a hint of fear flashes across my face. 

“I ha-have done all you have a-asked?” I try to point out my voice quivering slightly. 

“You ignored our command.” This time it is Visenya's voice that answers me and I start to shake a bit. 

“Pl-please if I have, pl-plea-” I try to beg but Aegon just snaps out “enough.” silencing me. 

Then the constantly buzzing presences in the back of my head turn into claws and I know what is to come yet I do not think about how their close presence might affect the bound. Might make it so much stronger. 

Within one second and the next the things are tearing into me hurting and burning and oh seven it is so much, before the pain was nothing compared to this if that was some candle wick this is a raging inferno. As my brian burns, it melts in my skull and it hurts. It hurts oh gods it hurts please please I beg silently as I wither in Aegon’s grasp screaming and screaming. My legs and arms kicked out at the feeling. Get away, get out help please I thought my thoughts barely coherent please someone help. 

But no one answered my calls. 

It felt like hours, days that the pain went on for and I cried and screamed, when I could no longer do that I simply whimpered my throat to raw and sour to do anything else still it was nothing compared to the pain so much pain in my skull. 

Eventually blackness takes me and I welcome its inky depths.

When I wake next my head hurts and the kings hold me still Aegon once bruising grip now gentle caressing my arms and murmuring soft nothings into my hair well Visenya rubbed a circle into my hip with one hand and slowly suckered gently on my neck the possessive act barely a thought before I violently try to flinch away. Yet it is not to be both seeming bared for the action just to tighten their grip once again locking me in place. I realize that there are dried tear tracks on my face and a headache throbs behind my eyes. For a moment we all just lay there and when I relax my muscles though it seems to take everything that is left out of me and realizing this they go back to petting my skin trying to sooth me.

It just turns my stomach more. 

We lay there for a moment, me broken between the two men as they seem to bask in what they have done to me condescending in their care. 

“Sweet, you know why you had to be punished” Visenya speaks again the words warm as if talking to a child. I hate him ever more for it. I weakly shake my head and my throat is too sour to verbally answer. 

Aegon's fingers move then to my forehead stroking the skin there. He answered then “we asked you to eat, you did not” his baritone voice pipes out. I freeze then remembering the dinner I had left and a flash of all-encompassing rage overtakes me for a second. They did this to me because I skipped dinner. The thought alone sickened me. 

Still I did not struggle with the ever present headache, a reminder of what they would do to me at the pettiest offense. “Will you not disobey us next time, sweet?” Visenya again asked. 

I nod my head once again weakly the years of obeying lords beating into the ability to hold my tongue. 

He just smiles this malicious smile as if he knows I will disobey them again and he looks forward to it. It sent a cold shiver down my spine. Aegon lets out a quiet hum and Visenya looks up to him. They seem to have a conversation with their eyes and then Visenya just shakes his head and turns back to me. 

“We must go now my dear, know that we have given you the rest of the day to rest and that we expect you to listen to us from now on.” With that and a quick kiss to my forward from both of them they leave. Slipping out of bed already dressed in fine cloth, the door shutting behind them with a soft whimper. 

I just fall back into the many goose stuffed pillows, tears of silent defeat falling from my eyes.

After that I do not disobey any of their orders, the months pass my days filled with Lady Velaryon and the old man. My nights with a quiet dinner alone always fully eaten no matter how much my stomach might protest and then the vague awareness of figures holding me.  

When I first bleed again I am given fine Lenin whites and I can’t help but think of my sister how she is doing if she is eating, if her paramores still support her. If her brown hair is so much like my own but hers full of luster and bronze still catches like a thousand strands of gold in the summer sun. If she still likes honeyed figs so sweet they taste sicking and if she still likes to dance under the moon. Where no one can see us spinning again and again until we are both so dizzy we cannot stand. I think of asking my soulbounds but am afraid of them knowing of her. What they might do to her to break me down just a little bit more. 

I can already feel little pieces of myself slipping away. The world becomes gray and drapes the joy from the songbirds waking me in spring or the feel of a red nose in the first month of winter seeming to slip away with me locked in their chambers. 

It is theirs now too with Visenya possession having been moved to the overly large rooms and a much bigger bed having been moved in after the first month. My own wardrobe appeared two months in the first dress folded gently in ornate looking chests, a beautiful dress of silk embroidered with intercrate designs and shining jewels. Pearls and rubies and even diamonds. All in the Targaryen red and black with dragon imagery laced into their every surface. 

There was a full chest of soft linen and silk undershirts implying the time they intended me to spend in the little room. I had gained weight to both of my soulmates, seeming to delight in the fact. My chest is growing by the ever smallest amount and my arms look less like bones and now more like sticks. I am no taller and both my soulbound still stand head and shoulders above me. Yet there is little I can do for it. They gifted me many of their jewels of their mothers collection and the collection they had taken from the people they ravished. 

My presence had seemed to revitalize the war effort and they had undergone a full assault on Donre leaving me for a month at a time my only company, the order of knights I had learned created for my protection.  They called them white clocks, a group of twenty of the finest warriors in the seven kingdoms to guard over me. They were religiously dedicated to my protection, seeming to be a constant presence even on the few occasions I went out. Glaring at anyone who simply stepped ten feet from me. 

I learned later that there had been three attempted poisonings and four assassins had been caught after that I begrudged the white clocks far less than I did at the start. My soulmates had still not touched me. At least in fully they liked to pet my skin or touch it but they never did anything more sexually. Something I was immensely grateful for. They told me that they would wait sixteen summers. Something that made me uncomfortable to think about but grateful nonetheless. 

They had introduced me to their dragons and the great beasts had taken a strange liking to me growling at anyone who got too near. Despite my terror I had not met any of the other courtiers but considering the servants deep fear of me I had to wonder what my position was exactly.

I had heard that Aegon had strangled one man at a feast to death when he had made a joke about my plain appearance declaring loudly that to insult me was to insult the king. Visenya was more creative when a man, some minor noble, had joked that he had once had me in bed with the king when he found out about the man's comments he had him dragged through the streets. By horse his skin flaying off him and then they locked in the stocks and coated him in honey. It was said he screamed the entire night as the rats and rodents tour him apart. 

After that very few felt brave enough to talk about me in anything but the most glowing fashion. Lady Velaryon, a woman I may never call a friend but who I had grown to care about had gushed about it, describing it as romantic. I just felt bile rise up in my throat at the thought. 

I felt much more confident in my skills now then I previously did but both my soulmates disliked me wondering about at court and made it clear in no uncertain terms that my place would never be anywhere but by their side and that freedom to make any decision would be severely limited. Even if I was given an allowance to walk through the gardens. With a heavy guard of course. 

I had settled in my role at that point the role of a caged bird fondled and fawned over but never free. 

Until the night my sister had a servant slip me a note. Until she asked me if I wanted my shackles to be cut.