Just for now
It was dark, the sound of rain and thunder filled the room. He could feel the blankets covering him. and a light warmth on his hand. Regulus slowly opened his eyes, and sat up, his body was aching, his head hurt. His throat really hurt.
He Tried his best to remember why he felt this way, what he did to make everything hurt. Maybe his parents did something, he remembered it being the night Lucius was supposed to Purpose.
He said no.
Lucius then, pushing him in the water.
He sat up quickly suddenly feeling like he was drowning again with the memories all flooding back and coughed loud and rough trying to clear his airways of the water. Someone rushed in and to his side he hadn’t yet been able To open his eyes and see who it was.
He felt the person place a hand on his back. and rub soothing circles, and another holding his hand. He wanted to jerk them away but he didn’t have the Energy.
"Breath Regulus" a voice spoke.
His heart stopped.
He opened his eyes and saw James Potter standing in front of him. His hair was a mess, and his shirt was unbuttoned. But Regulus didn't care, He didn't care that his head hurt, or that he was still coughing, he just wanted James. and so he pulled him forward and hugged him. He held onto him for dear life, and James seemed to be doing the same.
"You're okay, " James said, letting him go, and taking a step back.
Regulus nodded, he didn't recognize the room he was in. But the decor was very James-like, the bed was large and the comforter was a dark red. There were pictures hung up and the walls were a brownish red. "Are you alright?" he heard James ask him, he nodded again. James let out a breath of relief.
"I sent a message to your brother, he's on his way, he's worried sick about you."
"How long was I out?" Regulus asked,
"Two days" James admitted, Regulus moved to get up, he felt like he had to, he was in someone else's bed and was not supposed to be here. but his body protested and his limbs felt weak. He fell back into the bed. James walked over and sat down beside him. " the doctor said you're lucky to be alive. you should rest Regulus. You're not going back to your parents. Not while I'm alive."
"James, I need to go home. They are probably worried."
They were not, he knew that for a fact, they were never worried, just furious. And they were beyond belief right now he was sure of it. He had defied and embarrassed them. And couldn't just say yes and made things easier on himself. He just had to be like Sirius in their own words. It is what they always said whenever he acted like himself and not some orchestrated personality they made for him.
It got to him as a child, and he tried to ignore it as a teenager. But it always dug under his skin in a way he could never describe or fix.
"No. Your brother is on his way here, and if you think that I'm letting you go back there then you're mad." James told him firmly. Regulus had never really heard that tone before, he had heard him confident but never this assertive. Like he meant this and would enforce it.
"Sirius does not want to see me, and I don't want to see him either." Regulus told him. It was mostly untrue, he did want to see his brother. but after their fight the words he called him before he left rang through his head. mama's boy. though he was sure in Sirius's eyes that was true. He always used to trail her staying close to her side when she was not upset. Trying to please her and the other members of the family.
they were most likely livid with him now. He had messed up everything with Lucius even if it had almost killed him. If he almost drowned him over saying no marriage he could only imagine what other things would have set him off. He likely would've been dead if someone didn't pull him out of that pond.
"You can stay here, until Sirius arrives, or until you get better, but I'm not letting you go back there," James said.
"What makes you think I'm going to listen to you." He tried his best to be himself, to fight. It seemed like there was not much of that left in Regulus. Not to James.
James chuckled, "oh how foolish i was to forget your ears were just for decoration, take a blessing in disguise Reg, you will never have to deal with their punishments, you will never be married to Lucius, you can live your own life and be happy"
Regulus rolled his eyes, but was thankful. It was a relief even if he didn't show it, he looked James in the eyes. "Thank you, Mr.Potter"
James laughed lightly, one you would only do to lighten a mood and ruffled his hair, "I'm not letting you thank me, but you are welcome here as long as you want. you'll always have a place here. and please Reggie, you know it's James to you."
Regulus was silent, and looked down,
"Do you know how you ended up here, at my house?" James asked. Making sure the younger one remembered everything that had happened. It was normal after something like this happened. He wished his mind could block it out in all honesty.
"Lucius, pushed me into the pond. someone saved me, i passed out after i fell into the water" Regulus told him. He didn't know who it was but he had to assume James got into it with someone in order to bring him here. most likely his father. With his brother being gone James must have taken up the role in his place.
James nodded, "you should rest, i'm sure my mother will be up to bother you with some home remedy soon, Can i send Sirius in when he gets here? he'll want to make sure you're okay himself. " he asked the younger man.
"yes" Regulus said,
"I'll have my housekeeper bring up some tea and broth for you to drink, your throat must hurt pretty bad, and I'm sure your head does too" James told him.
"Thank you."
James got up, and walked to the door, he turned around, " im glad youre okay Reg" he smiled.
Regulus smiled lightly, "I am as well."
The man left, Regulus wanted to ask him to stay but he knew that it was not right. not right to James, though he couldn't help but hope he would be able to keep that warm smile to himself. He didn't know if it started when he kissed James out on the balcony, or if it had always been there. He didn't love him, no.
He didn't even know if he knew how to love, everyone around him had always been so full of hate.
Regulus laid his head back on the pillows and pulled the blanks up against him, they were all thoughts for another time. and the pain in his head was not helping him think straight.
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Sirius didn't arrive at James's until early the next morning.
Regulus was sitting at the table in the drawing room. He felt good enough to move around a little bit. but he was told to not do any strenuous activity for another few days. The headache he had, had finally gone away as well. so he decided to do some reading to pass the time, Regulus thought about what he was going to do now, free from his family. He looked up when the door opened. He did not say anything. Sirius stared at him with wide eyes. tired eyes. like he hadn't slept.
"Reggie." The man said.
Regulus didn't say anything.
Sirius came over to the table and sat down, "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine," he said. That was a lie of course and his appearance likely reflected it, his hair was unkempt and he was in some clothes James had let him borrow. and he had dark circles under his eyes.
"You don't look okay," Sirius said.
"im sorry Sirius." Regulus told him fixing his gaze on the floor. "I shouldn't have let you go, I should've gone with you. I was a coward. and I shouldn't have acted like I was. and I shouldn't have called you a coward."
"I shouldn't have called you a mama's boy." Sirius admitted.
A silence settled between them for a moment.
Regulus looked at Sirius, the older brother spoke. "i'm so sorry, i should've stayed. and I should've gotten you out. I couldn't stand the thought of them hurting you. and when I found out about the engagement, I left. I tried to bring you with me but I just couldn't stay Reg.. I hope you can forgive me" he said.
Regulus looked at his brother. "I'm not going back," he said to Sirius.
Sirius smiled. "I'm happy for you Reg" he told him, Regulus was not sure what he would do. but he had James and Sirius and that was enough for him, He didn't forgive his brother in the slightest but he at least understood. What happened in those long few weeks he spent alone with his parents were probably things he'd never share.
a haunted memory of a narrative he no longer lived.
"Are you going to come with me? home, not our parents but somewhere else that you could call home and actually mean it?" Sirius asked him. "His name is Remus, he's excited to meet you. when you're ready of course"
"Remus?"
"Yes, the barron. He's a good man, you'll love him, he will not let you or me ever feel like we do, not that you're not my responsibility, I don't care if we are grown up and I've left the house. I will always be here for you. I promise. and so will Remus." Sirius said.
"You are so different Sirius, than what I had expected you to become"
"Well I had planned on running off with the man I loved and living a peaceful life. But it seems I just couldn't let myself leave you behind. You were never a burden on me, you are my baby brother. and I was supposed to protect you. and I failed. But I promise, I will not leave your side, if you'll let me." Sirius explained.
Regulus wanted to go with his brother, but he still needed time. time to think and process, where he wasn't around. so he lied to him. " The doctor said I should stay in one place to focus on recovery. I can't leave until then"
"Okay" Sirius said,
"But I'll come soon. I just need a bit more time. Until he tells me it's all okay"
Sirius shook his head. "I know James will take care of you Reg, and he's done a good job so far. I wish he was there when I left. but it's okay, because you have him now, and I have Remus. and When youre better and are ready we will have you. you'll have a life you've always dreamed of''
Regulus was silent. He didn't even know what life he would dream of. he had no clue what kind of future he wanted, and if he could actually have it. He would not be surprised if James did not want him to stay.
"Sirius"
"Yes Reg"
"When I was young.." Regulus began, Sirius looked at him, a smile on his face. "I always thought I'd be able to find someone. someone to marry, and they would be the only one. and I'd never be alone."
Sirius patted his brother on the shoulder, "you'll find that one day Reg, and you'll get that life"
"I hope so."
The brothers smiled. Regulus was glad that at least one good thing came out of all this.
They were silent again for a bit.
but it was fine, things were going to look up from here.