10/09/1989
Sunday, 10th September
Dear diary, I’m so sorry for staining your pages with my tears, but I just can’t help it…
Today was the reading of Mum’s will. Besides the money, which was divided between Xavier, Anna, and me, almost everything else that belonged to Mum is now mine. But that’s not the important part. No, the important part is the letter Mum left me.
It’s clear that she wrote it with difficulty, probably struggling against the spells that made her completely submissive to James’s wishes. But… I can’t describe what her words did to me.
Among many things, she told me that she loved me. She hadn’t been able to say it, not even write it, for a long time. But she also said that she could only rest peacefully if I tried my hardest to be happy and that she would never leave me. That even though I couldn’t see her, she would always be there for me, in my saddest moments but also in my happiest ones.
She wrote that her greatest wish was to know that I was happy (she also wrote that if I didn’t try, she would come back just to pull my feet at night). Something deep inside me seemed to dissolve. I’m still sad, and she wrote that it was okay to feel like this for a while, but something in me made me think that maybe I can be happy with some time.
I have friends who care about me. I have the best dad in the world, an older brother who seemed to finally open his eyes, and two younger siblings to love and protect. But above all, I have my Dragon. It’s hard to understand what Mum is trying to express in her letter about Draco, but what I do know is that I will have my Dragon by my side forever, and seeing him now, it hurts to see him so desperate just because he wants to see me happy again.
I swear by my magic that I will try to be happy again, for my loved ones, for Draco, for Mum, and for myself.