Puzzles

After a few minutes passed, Sirius quietly slipped up the stairs and into the dormitory. James and Peter were sleeping soundly on their beds, Peter snoring quietly. Sirius cast a quick silencing spell, as was customary when Peter snored. He looked to Remus’s bed, where the curtains were drawn. Although he couldn’t hear anything, he knew that Remus wasn’t ok behind those curtains. It wasn’t the gentle shaking of the bed beneath his sobs that tipped Sirius off, but rather the feeling of one of his own puzzle pieces being broken apart from the bigger picture that they completed together. Sirius didn’t know what had just happened, or why it had happened, but he knew that Remus needed him then. 

“Remus,” he whispered to the sheets. 

A moment passed, presumably Remus removing his own silencing charm. “Go away, Sirius,” he said with a sniffly voice. 

Sirius considered this for only a second before popping into his animagus form and sticking his wet nose through the curtains. Remus drew them open to look at his big dog eyes. Pleading puppy eyes, as always. He sighed and threw himself back into his pillows. “C’mon then.” 

Sirius took the invitation gladly and climbed inside, snuggling next to Remus in his dog form. Remus couldn’t help but cuddle back, wrapping his arms around the big black dog and resting his face in its silky fur. Though he was still crying a bit, the dog’s hair dried his tears and calmed his shaking. “I’m sorry…” he said one last time before drifting off into sleep. 

***

James was always the first to wake up. He rose with the sun, got dressed, fixed his hair, then woke up Sirius for quidditch practice. More often than not Remus would join them, either doing homework in the stands or watching his pals zip by on their broomsticks. Today was no different. When the sun peeked through the windows, James yawned and stretched. He reached to his nightstand and slid his glasses onto his face, then looked out the window to enjoy the sunrise. He slid on his practice slacks and shirt, patting down the wrinkles. He then walked to his mirror and ran his hands through his curls. To say he “fixed” his hair would be an absurd notion, perhaps. He made sure it was correctly messy. Then, he walked to Sirius’s bed to nudge him awake. Only, when he approached Sirius’s bed, it was to find it untouched and empty. 

Okay, that part was new. 

“Sirius?” he whispered to the room, to no response. He poked his head into the bathroom, where no other person could be found. He even checked under Sirius’s bed, where he could sometimes find his hiding out as a dog when the nightmares were particularly bad. But no, Sirius was nowhere to be found.

As a last resort, James grabbed the map. “I solemnly swear I am up to no good,” he whispered in the quiet. Scanning the parchment, he found something most peculiar. Sirius was here. In this very room! And, he seemed to be very, very close to Remus Lupin. “Mischief managed,” he whispered, folding the map back up and placing it on his nightstand. Peering between the curtains of Remus Lupin’s bed, James confirmed his suspicions. I suppose he can miss one day of practice, James thought to himself, grabbing his quidditch gear and leaving the room toward the field. 

***

Sirius woke not long after James left, his internal alarm buzz buzzing at the fact that he was still in bed and not on the quidditch pitch. He blearily took in his surroundings. The curtains around his bed were drawn, which was strange. He never slept with them closed. In fact, the only person who did that was… sleeping right next to him. No, right next to him would be an understatement. Remus Lupin, the only person who sleeps with his bloody bed curtains closed, was asleep between Sirius Black’s arms, body curled tightly against his. 

Sirius gasped. This was bad. Oh, this was bad. At some point in the night, he must have transformed back into his human form. Still, that meant that he had fallen asleep in Remus Lupin's bed… because…

Flashbacks from the night before cycled through his head like a movie reel. They were chatting about the Yule Ball. Remus’s disappearance and subsequent reappearance. Remus spilling his heart and soul to Sirius. Remus kissing Sirius. Oh, that was why he was in here. Comforting Remus. 

Sirius was at a loss at what to do now. He couldn’t move, that would wake Remus up. And he very well couldn’t stay here, spooning Remus as he was now. That might give him the wrong idea. And what idea is that, exactly? A voice in the back of Sirius’s head questioned. Sirius shut it down quickly.

No, he couldn’t give Remus that idea. Because he couldn’t like Remus in that way. Because Remus couldn’t like him in that way. Last night was a complete and utter fluke. Remus had said it himself: he was tired, and Sirius was there and saying kind words. Nothing more. Sirius couldn’t let it be anything more in his head. 

Surely when Remus woke up he’d remember the awkwardness of last night, apologize, and they’d all move on with their lives. But, if he woke up with Sirius next to him like this, he might think that Sirius didn’t want to move on. Which he did. Definitely. 

With a silent prayer, Sirius peeled himself from Remus’s side. He ever so quietly slipped between the curtains, careful not to let any light slip through. He tied his hair into a ponytail, put on his practice clothes, and marched down to the quidditch pitch in under a minute. 

***

When he reached the pitch, Sirius found the entirety of the Gryffindor quidditch team already out, heeding James’s instructions. When he reached the edge of the greens, James admonished “Ah! How nice of you to finally join us.” The team let out scattered laughs. “Alright, everyone. Do your flying drills; Sirius, come talk to me.” Marlene McKinnon said ooooohhh, and there was more scattered laughter at the implication of Sirius getting a stern talking to by James. James clapped. “Drills! Now!”

Sirius and James walked off the pitch while the others did their flight drills. “Look, James, I’m really sorry I was late, I just–”

James holds up a palm, cutting Sirius off. “Where’s Remus?” he asks simply. 

“Asleep in his bed…” Sirius said slowly. “I don’t see how that’s re–”

“And why are you not asleep in his bed?” James quirked an eyebrow. 

“Because I’m at practice…” Sirius replied before realizing the implications of James’s suggestion. “Wait, how did you know about that?”

“Well, when I wake you up in your bed every morning, then one morning you’re not there, there is only one natural conclusion.”

“So you checked the map,” Sirius said flatly.

“I checked the map.” James confirmed. “Still, the question stands: why are you not asleep? In his bed?” James smirks.

“Because we have practice! Wait, you don’t think… you didn’t leave me there on purpose did you?”

“A man never reveals his secrets,” James replied with a devilish grin.

Sirius groaned. “Whatever you’re thinking, you’re wrong. Nothing was going on! He was sad and needed comfort. I was a dog the whole time!”

“An absolute dog, yes, you are. A canine? Well, you sure didn’t look like one, spooning him as you were.” James chuckled, his eyes gleamed as he watched his best friend squirm. 

“You. Ugh! That was a private moment!” Sirius threw his hands up in exasperation. James’s grin only grew, as if to say sure seemed like one. 

“Okay, okay. Shits and giggles aside. What happened, mate?” James prodded, wanting to hear more details from the night prior. 

“Nothing happened, okay? Well, nothing that meant anything. And that’s that.”

“Sirius,” James asked again. 

“Fine! Fine! I told him Mary asked me to the Yule Ball and he got upset and left for five fucking hours, and when he came back I was asleep, and he was upset, and I got him to talk to me, and he said he felt like we were all leaving him behind, and I said I, I mean we, would never do that, and that he is the most beautiful, talented, incredible, amazing person I know. And then he kissed me, then he apologized, then he ran away, and I ran after him, then we fell asleep. That’s all. Nothing important, really!” Sirius said all in one big breath.

James gaped at him, dumbstruck. “Nothing important? Nothing important?!” Sirius nodded. “Mate, he bloody kissed you? How are you not bouncing off the walls? Or his walls, I suppose.”

Sirius playfully shoved James. “Like I said, it didn’t mean anything. He was sad, and I said some nice words. We were both super tired, so none of anything meant anything. At all!” Sirius said although it sounded more like he was convincing himself than James. 

“Sirius, I think that means something at least,” James said solemnly. “Don’t you want it to?”

“No, of course not,” he responded hastily. James only looked at him with that say-more look in his eyes. “Look, he’s Remus. He’s my best friend, other than you, of course. He could never like me.” Sirius gestured to himself. “So I could never like him. It’s simple.”

“Mate, I see how you look at him.” Sirius tilted his head at this. “You look at him like he’s hung the damn moon and stars themselves! I think you’re the only person you’re fooling with that ‘I don’t like him’ schtick.” 

“I think you’re full of shit. I don’t like Remus. Because I can’t like Remus. Because Remus doesn’t like me.” Sirius huffed and crouched to the ground. “Simple maths, really.”

“If you don’t think that Remus Lupin likes you back, then you need to take a class on men. Maybe you should do that anyway, with the way you’re acting. He bloody kissed you!” Sirius looked up at James’s exclamation. “Look, mate, I think you need to talk to him. And all of this will work itself out quite nicely.” He reached a hand to pick Sirius back up and made his way back onto the pitch. 

“Great strategy talk, Sirius. Great ideas. Now, do what we said at the next game,” he said loudly, with a wink to Sirius.