Pain before Privilege
Jinx’s day was somewhat swallowed by very intriguing news she got that Tuesday morning.
For some odd reason she couldn’t put an answer to, she woke early… at 7 am. And couldn’t quite slip back to sleep. In fact she slept well, and woke as though she had been sleeping the entire week. She wasn’t entirely sure what to do with the newly acquired time and burst of energy, until something answered that for her. A message. From Ekko.
little man| hi
little man| i need your help with something
little man| wouldnt really ask if i didnt
little man| can u call me later?
little man| if your busy that’s fine. but if your not like 5? thanks
Jinx didn’t know what to think. She didn’t know if she was to be happy or nervous. She didn’t even know how to reply. A simple ‘yes’ seemed too blunt. Or a ‘that’s fine’ seemed passive aggressive? But ‘Yeah! Definitely’ would be far too enthusiastic. Jinx was really in her head about it.
It was odd, Ekko used to be the person she was most natural with, never caring or thinking about what she said, he tended to understand her no matter what. But then, he was the only person she couldn’t talk to without rephrasing adjectives.
Eventually she threw out a simple agreement, but then the weight of what exactly he asked dawned on her. A phone call?
It would be the first time they talked, with voices, in months. And well, of course she was looking forward to it, but everything about the tone of his question ate into her.
Falling on her bed, Jinx sighed to herself, grabbing back at her skin on her forehead and looking out the window in despair. All of this could’ve been avoided, all could’ve gone back to normal if just Jinx could be more normal. Or, really, if just one of them just felt different about the other.
She wished she could love him better than she did. It was love she felt, but just not the right type.
There was no logical reason for her to not. He was objectively attractive, they had so much in common, practically best friends since birth and after… him, well Ekko welcomed her back, forgave her. Something even Vi struggled to do. And for the next 10 months they were the happiest they had been together, like nothing had changed, best friends. But something had to change. Like everything, something had to disrupt Jinx’s peace.
Ekko wanted more. More from their relationship. He was fully entitled to want it, and well Jinx… tried.
But she just couldn’t. She couldn’t love him that way, and never knew why. He was the only boy she would ever think of pursuing and still…
She did try for a good bit, though. She kissed him and let him take her out. It was great seeing him content, so it ached so much more when the truth had to be confessed.
She didn’t know what it was called exactly, to want to only be best friends, but it hurt him even so. They hadn’t been the same since.
She was deep in her mind when then came a bash at her window. Jinx was thrown out of her head with such suddenness she was knocked off her bed.
It was a branch which came aknocking, and as Jinx went to inspect the brusque attack on her dorm, she found the whole of outside a battlefield of wind.
Leaves and branches swam in the air, every tree looked close to collapsing and the rain which pelted at her with fury was tainting the whole scene under a grey curtain. Jinx found herself jealous of the rain once again. It didn’t have to call Ekko at five.
News of the storm was very unexcited that whole day, to Jinx’s surprise. If there was ever a hint of bad weather or a brush of wind in Piltover, the people would start acting like war was right on their doorstep. Although, the Scottish Highlands were known for their poor weather and winter’s roots had been showing through the whole past week. Jinx and Ronan’s hike was the last spot of good sun that year, Ronan presumed.
Nevertheless, Jinx enjoyed the weather. It was exciting and perilous enough to assault her window, and despite few people caring for it, there would be the occasional wusses who could be overtly spooked. A roar of thunder and a yell or two would sound. Jinx found that funny.
It was almost enough to take her mind off the impending doom that was this phone call. Regardless of Jinx missing him dearly, there was nothing she could be except nervous. Was he going to argue with her? Or ask her again? Or was it completely irrelevant and she was being jumpy for no reason? Either way she spent the whole day, again, paying no attention to her Professors and instead lingered within her head.
“Miss Kiramman?” The sound was too faint for Jinx to look up. “Miss Kiramman?”
The girl next to her tapped her hand with her pen. Jinx whipped her head to her, annoyed at the disturbance, only for the girl to raise her eyebrows and flick her gaze to the wide-eyed Professor.
“Your answer to question 109?”
Jinx’s heart practically jumped. She scrambled around looking for her answers only to find them all blank. She took a quick glance to the question. Find the general solutions to the following equati- yeah fuck no. And there were a bunch of equations, all with random letters and hardly any numbers. She couldn’t do it on the spot. Jinx just repeated ‘uh’ sounds as she tried to think, and then suddenly a ray of answers appeared on her lap. In the corner of her eye, the girl sat next to her had deftly slipped Jinx hers.
She found 109, the first answer reading 40,800. And so Jinx answered, “408.” The girl snapped her head around blunderingly, making it quite obvious she was shocked, but Jinx was unperturbed, keeping her eyes forward as the Professor acknowledged her success.
“Very good, Miss Kiramman.” She smiled, as if she knew. “Mr Florakis. The next part of the same question?”
“You didn’t divide it enough…” Jinx whispered as the girl pulled back her page. “’Cause of that sign there.” Pointing to the question. “Er, but. Thanks. Anyway.” A strangely difficult word to say.
“Don’t worry about it.” The girl said. Jinx liked her, only because she was the only person who she sat next to that never spoke to her, and was the reason structural engineering was one of her favourites. “Can never escape maths, huh.” She sighed. “I thought this would be about bridges. I do enough maths everywhere else.”
“Yep.” Jinx thought that any engineering being maths heavy was fairly self-explanatory, but thought she shouldn’t highlight that.
“But you don’t mind that, huh?” The girl continued. She was worryingly close to losing Jinx’s favourite classmate status. Maybe if I just ignore her, she’d drop it and go back to being non-verbal. Still, she stared deeply into Jinx, and there was no smooth way she could side-step away. So, thoughts of a response wafted in her mind ‘No, because I’m not an idiot and can do basic maths.’ Actually, that would be a sure-fire way to guarantee she’d never speak to Jinx again. Although, when thinking back to what Blondie said, ‘always rude to people’s faces’… tsch, Jinx couldn’t let her be right.
“Uh… well, I did this typa thing back home a whole lot, so...”
“Ah.” The girl withdrew again. “Makes sense.”
And that was that for the whole lesson, much to Jinx’s thanks. The class ended promptly enough, after the answers to the questions Jinx should have done were all read out. It was the smallest of her classes, which meant things like this were all the more common, she needed to start actually doing to the work. Anyways, upon it’s end, Jinx usually darted from the room to rush to lunch’s brink of beginning, right before the masses made up the lines. And, well, she made it as far as the Trail corridor – which was known as such since being very narrow, with many an obstacle like as bookcases, plinths with plants and statues all whilst doors of rooms were opening out unto it – until a door swung open and quite literally stopped Jinx in her tracks.
As was common the on the Trail, she fell victim to the outward swinging doors. She crashed right into it. With a harsh and stinging whack of her face and a bite of her lip, she fell back, landing crudely on the dark-emerald carpet.
“Oh, Miss Kiramman!” Belted a hearty voice. “Forgive me! Oh dear, what a poor introduction.”
Blood was falling from her nose onto the silver-linings the regel carpet was coated in, she tried to stop it with her hand as she sat up but splotches had already long landed, it was far from the first, however.
“Here, please.” The voice sounded. Jinx was still opening her smacked-shut eyes whilst rubbing her pounding forehead and trying to stem the bleeding, but managed to see the outline of an outstretched hand, so she reached for it. “Truly, you must forgive me, Miss Kiramman. I have a terrible habit of opening my doors with too much… how do you say? Enthusiasm. Yes, yes, and having one of my classes of the Trail… I’m afraid this is not my first.” The man had an accent, one Jinx failed to decipher its nationality, well, she couldn’t with most. “Please, I have kept many a treatment in this classroom for such an occasion, you’d be surprised how often this nasty tendency of mine leads to these situations.”
He guided her through the nearest door, all whilst Jinx was still adjusting to light and trying to come to terms with the current situation she was randomly plunked in, then wondered if she had hit her head a little too hard.
Eventually though, she found herself on a comfortable seat, looking out onto yet more mountains from behind an oversized window, a desk to her left and a man sat opposite her.
“Oh, Elias. Another one?” Sounded a woman’s voice from far behind Jinx.
“I’m afraid so, Professor.” The hearty voice replied. He was busying himself around the desk, reaching out various ointments and whatnot. Jinx could only then take him in.
He was rather old, his hair was thick but the grey was dominating over the brown, about a 65:35 ratio. He wore brilliant clothes, far more engaging than the typical mismatched shirt and vest her other Professors wore, as he wore a proper grey, three piece suit with a black tie and a striking cloak that reached his ankles. He had dazzling green eyes that practically shone and bright red lips to match. Jinx had never seen him before, and was very curious about how he came to know her name. “Ah, Miss Kiramman. This is Professor Wyhile. Professor of mechanical engineering and mathematics.” Jinx really couldn’t care to turn around as she held her nose in her hand. “And asch, I must stop forgetting one does not know me just because I know me. Aha! Please, it is rude I haven’t introduced myself before. My name is Arne Elias, I am a Professor of Astro-physics. And clearly a thoughtless door opener. Ha-ha. Here.” He handed her a damp cloth and gestured to her forehead. It stung a bit, which was odd, but she was in a bit too peculiar a situation to really care. The man then turned back around, rummaging around his desk. “I must say I had a mind to meet you, Miss Kiramman. OH, but please don’t take that as a meaning that this situation was on purpose. Well it was anything but, I hadn’t meant to physically stop you.” He laughed very loudly to himself.
“He’s working his way through the students with this attack of his.” The woman chuckled. As Elias scoffed. “I’ve suggested he get a scratch map but with pupil’s names.” She was busying herself with books on a bookcase. Elias turned back around to Jinx and handed her a half- finished tube of cream which was somehow rusted and looked 50 years old.
“For your lip.” He said quickly, then turned back. Only then did Jinx notice the slit on her bottom lip, it had already swollen quite a lot. Her tooth must’ve gone through it.
It hurt, and the decaying tube looked like something that would sure hurt it more, but Jinx didn’t care for whatever concoction the man gave her. In the undercity, you’d be lucky if there were metal staples lying around to mend your leg hanging off its hinges, a mere lick of pain did not need all of this bother. “Now, I am rather thankful that I ran into you, Miss Kiramman. Or should I say, thankful that you ran into me.” Again he laughed at his own joke as he dabbed a cotton ball which smelt like the floor of a pharmacy under her nose. Inhaling these fumes, Jinx shot back, only for Elias to chuckle a bit more and Jinx to notice how the blood stopped. Witch! “Truth is, I have been looking for the new second year student for quite some time. Well, the past few days really.” He turned around and binned the cotton ball, then started searching around his desk for yet another thing. “You see, Miss Kiramman. I run a… well let’s say a society. But not one of students going to and fro like a second thought. A – if you don’t mind my lack of humility – prestigious society, that you’ll find to be rather exclusive. And well, I believe you are one whose mind I would like to invite.” He then handed her a small card, as though a business card, which read, ‘The Kloge Club invites Jinx Kiramman.’
“The Clodge club?” Were the first words Jinx had said in a while. Her voice croaked like an elderly man who had been smoking since he was 14.
“It’s pronounced K-low-ge.” Corrected Elias. “Sorry, a word from my mother tongue. The club is a gathering of students whose interest I seek. There are many problems in the world of science today, and the minds of brilliance, commonly found in universities such as Rhayn… well, is where one should look to aid these problems.” Jinx just looked at him funny. She really hit her head hard because whatever was going on could not be real. “In more simple terms, Miss Kiramman, I am a man a science, and those delved into the world of science have seen many things, but they can only see with their own eyes, not with the eyes of younger, different, but no less gifted minds.”
“Simple terms?” Jinx croaked again. The Professor laughed as did the other one to Jinx’s right.
“I invite students who study science-based subjects to my own club. Students which I believe have great potential in this area. It is very exclusive, as I said. And the student before me, which gathered many ahead among my peers, most notably the Dean, is sure to fit right in. Now, the Dean claimed it very intriguing how one from… ah, now Miss Kiramman, I am from Denmark, which your Runeterra birth may confuse, and since I am a man of science and no man of Politics, your place of home in Runeterra eludes me, but I am told it is… well, not to put it crudely, but not the highest of birth. Anyhow, the Dean noted how he too was from such a place and was very excited by how one can exceed above those who were given a perfect environment to grow the mind since a mere seed. And I, too, find that considerably fascinating, and of course, remarkable. That, and the words of your Professors, noting how missing a month had set you back very little, let alone a year in a different curriculum. From the first week on I knew you to be a student I must look out for, and here, well now I ask you to join.”
Jinx was still very confused. One minute she was running down a corridor, the next she was in some classroom being asked to join a cult. This felt very much like a game on one of her Gameboys.
“Eh… what do I have to do.”
“Oh nothing really. Usually all I ask if a dinner party or two from time to time, where we usually discuss matters of science, but gossiping terms slip into conversations more often than not. A human guilt, very hard to dispel. Anywho, times may call for me to request my student’s brains in order to solve a scientific problem I have encountered for perhaps a paper of mine or a small discovery, but fewer respond to that plea. All is optional, but if you find a night you have little to busy yourself with, well, a dinner party of mine may cure you of boredom. Even Professor Wyhile is frequently in attendance.”
“Indeed she is.” The Professor to Jinx’s right sounded, half-sighing. “As much as I regret having to admit this nerdy affair’s success, Elias’ parties never fail to entertain.”
Jinx thought for a moment, not really knowing what to do.
“Umm… can I think about it?” She said slowly.
“Of course, of course!” Elias smiled, standing up and clapping his hands together. “Any news about the happenings will always appear on the weekly bulletin. Simply turn up whenever you please, you will always be welcome, Miss Kiramman.”
Jinx hated the weekly bulletin. Some idiot always slid this blue piece of paper under her door every Sunday morning at like 6 am, and it was the most useless piece of scrap she had ever seen. It was just an overload of information about when different sports or things like that were meeting or if there were changes to the food or if the heating was going down for an hour on Thursday. Just useless information taking up space in her bin.
“Now, if you excuse me, I must run to my other class, you can see yourself out. Thank-you, Professor Wyhile, for letting me use your classroom as always!” He called as he scurried from the room, his cloak rushing behind him as though it was annoyed at the suddenness. “Oh sorry!” Jinx heard him call. He did open the doors awfully fast.
“Apologies, Miss Kiramman.” Wyhile said, slowly walking her way over to her. “For this kidnapping of his. Every Tuesday he uses this classroom and every Tuesday, a student walks into this door.” She took a long look a Jinx. “Some get it worse than others.” She gestured to Jinx’s thrashed face. “Are you sure your head is alright?”
No.
“S’fine.”
“Well in that case, if you don’t mind I have a class coming in a few minutes. Now, I know you have an intrigue for engineering, but fourth year fluid mechanics might dull that spark. It is terribly tedious, I must admit.”
Jinx just nodded, still a little disorientated, more by what just happened than the fact she hit her head.
She fled the room soon enough, and once in the clear of the Trail corridor, she fully grasped what had just occurred.
It was fully optional, Jinx surmised, and she was pretty sure she’d chose the option to never go, but she was a little curious about what exactly it was, and had an idea of who to ask.
Ronan was always in the library on a Tuesday, he named it his study day seeing as he had only one class in the morning and the rest of the day free, so that was exactly where Jinx went, forgetting all about lunch and the class she had in 20 minutes.
“Hey.” She hissed, finding Ronan in his favourite corner. It was where two bookcases were nearly sandwiched together right by a narrow window that looked out unto a valley. He sat at the desk of the bookcase, smothered in parchment and books looking heavier than him. He half-jumped upon sighting her as she lumped herself beside him as loudly as she could, Ronan cringing at each sound in the dead silent room.
“Uh… hello Jinx. Nice to see you as always.” He whispered so quietly it was almost inaudible.
“Sup, Roan.” She replied, pathetically attempting to be quiet. “Gotta question.”
“Okay…”
“So I ran into this door right a-”
“Is that why you look as though you’ve been dragged through the brambles?”
“Yeah, basically, this Professor guy found me and then brought me into this classroom and started asking if I would join his club thing? Really it seems like a whole cult and I’m just confused.”
“Slow down, Jinx. A Professor? A club of his? What does this have to do with a door?”
“Door’s not important. He invited me to this cult a-”
“A club?”
“Yeah…” She started ruffling through her pockets then whipped out the card he gave her and handed it over.
Ronan’s face dropped and a split second later he shot up into the air.
“Jinx!” He hissed, far too loud, before retracting into himself and falling back, embarrassed. “Jinx, this is the Privvy!”
“The what?” Her face pulled into an expression of disgust.
“The Kloge club. It’s like… the most insanely sought after invitation ever. Well, amongst science students, but even non-science student are jealous they don’t have an equivalent. So you met Professor Elias? He offered you to join?”
“Yeah?” Jinx was bewildered by his enthusiasm.
“That’s incredible Jinx! You must be so proud.”
“Uhhh… dunno know why I should be.”
“Because only the brightest of the bright get invited by Professor Elias. You have just been accepted into the most private society in the whole academy. Only Elias’ favourites are a part of it, and well, now your one of them.”
“Lucky me. It’s just a bunch of nerds sitting in a room talking about maths or something.”
“Exactly!”
“Thrilling…”
“Well, you are probably the only person in this entire university who doesn’t care for it. Its known colloquially as the Privvy as it is so private, but… well since people tend to be quite jealous of those bidden, well ‘privy’ has a bit of a different meaning too.”
“It just sounds like a geeky dinner party.”
“And are you not a geek?”
“No of course not.” Jinx said defensively. Ronan smiled.
“Well either way, getting the invitation at all should be exciting enough. I am very pleased for you Jinx.”
“Uhh… so, dya want my invitation? ‘Cause I sure don’t.”
“Oh, I couldn’t possibly. It’s very pedantic and strict about that type of matter, only those invited by Elias himself are accepted to the events. One time, this girl brought her friend to just one dinner… and they were both kicked out. She was then disbanded from the club.”
“Geez, that’s dramatic.”
“Yes, it is no joke. A bit of a palaver if you ask me. But, perhaps, I am just covetous.”
“So, the typa people who are already in this Privvy club…”
“…The best of the best go to this school. Best of this school go to the club. So, likely to be brilliant past their years, a prodigy since birth, exceptionally intelligent. Intimidatingly so.”
“And boring. Fat chance dull people intimidate me.”
“Precisely. There, your rationale for not going has just diminished by one.”
“But there are so many other reasons… and none encouraging me.”
“Oh just go to one… please… I’m so overly curious. One puts a limit anywhere and any sane person desires the taste of the air past the line. Please, Jinx.”
“Hm… will this mean another favour will be needed added to the pot?”
“Another two! If that’s what it will take.”
Jinx held her chin in thought, entertaining this deliberation.
“An intriguing offer… but, what do your favours mean… I still haven’t thoughta one for the first you owe me.”
“The perfect aspect of favours: you can cash them in whenever. Just wait, you might need three eventually.”
“You speak like a proper politician, Roany. Good thing you study it.” He pulled a face and Jinx just chuckled at her own joke. “I’ll see, I’ll see.” She sighed, slouching on the seat and swinging back on it. “Depends what the next event is.”
She started fiddling with one of the sticks Ronan had on his desk. It was small and pale, weaker than a blade of grass, she wondered what on earth it could be for.
“Careful.” He cautioned as she started bending it. “It’s for Physics. You know, the project.”
“Damn you, Ronan.” She threw it back. “Why’dya have to remind me.” He laughed, fixing his glasses and shutting his book closed.
“It is near impossible.” He nodded, taking it from the skewed place it landed and neatly placing it with the others. “But nothing for a member of the Privvy.” He winked.
Jinx rolled her eyes.
*
She had been sat staring at her phone since half 4. It wasn’t like Jinx to be so… motionless. And yet she was. Her mind wasn’t though. It whirled around the many possibilities that would have ensued by the following hour.
At times she would pick at her fingernails, and at times she would pick at her forehead, then the thoughts would relax. Instead of matters concerning Zaun, she thought of him asking about her life there, but those thoughts were lost soon after they came. As he was very explicit about what he enquired, well, sort of… ‘I need your help.’ only really has so many possibilities. Issues of Zaun and Jinx’s current life couldn’t be the reason he was calling. So the whirlwind of thoughts started again. Bouncing around her mind as if it was made of rubber. And they continued like that until the clock hit five o’clock, and Jinx’s mind was silent, waiting. Her phone clenched tightly in her hand, and had been for the past half hour, it was practically slipping from her skin, her palm drenched in sweat. She had never, ever felt this worried for a social interaction.
Every second ticked away without the buzz of vibration, and every second ate into her as if it was a second closer to death. She had to endure many seconds after five o’clock, specifically, the seconds that made up five minutes, and such were the most tedious five minutes of her life. But eventually her phone rang, with the word ‘little man’ painted across it. Jinx practically jumped and her eyes sung a jolt of panic. She took a second to breathe and slid open her phone, accepting the call.
“Eh… hey.” His voice was just how she remembered it, warm, with a slight strain that rarely seemed to go away.
“Whatsup, Little Man.” She tried to stay cool, to hide her wavering voice with familiar niceties. “Miss me?” Back to her old routine but forced, unnatural. She wished it could be natural, but she was almost shaking. Ekko just half laughed.
“So, I need your help with something, Jinx, and really, I wish that I didn’t. I’m sure you’ve much better things to be getting on with… but it’s just…I don’t have anyone else to really ask.”
“As is the usual with life. I seem to be the number one problem solver everywhere I go.” Jinx snickered. Ekko was silent. Her hilarious humour seemed lost to him.
“Well it’s a few things really, and I don’t think you’ll mind. I want to just pick your brain a little.”
“Okay…”
“Smog in the fissures is building up. Air is getting denser and there’s been a few leaks here and there of the Gray. Simple malfunctions with the filters and fans and whatnot are allowing it to slip. Rust and wear and tear can’t really be avoided. But many have had to evacuate their… homes… if that’s what you can call them. Anyways, technical mechanics like my hoverboard and mining equipment, or really any piece of mechanism we’re using here is becoming faulty. The air’s too thick for fans to work, and too packed with all sorts of chemicals which are reacting and messing up the metals. Things are sorta falling apart.”
Jinx couldn’t help but feel guilty.
She had tried to stomach or really blank out the suffering going on in Zaun whilst she was living scot-free above. But what was she to do anyways? Still, complaining about having to work with some girl felt like complaining about dust on your foot to someone living without one.
“And you need my technical brilliance to help?” She thought maybe humour could mask the remorse. “Well, never fear, Ekko, I’ll give as much guidance as my one year of engineering can supply. What sorta designs are we looking at?”
Ekko was silent, but Jinx could hear the sound of him sucking on his teeth.
“Well, Jinx, I obviously don’t doubt your… capability, you’re by far the smartest person I know… but, well, we have plenty of minds down here that could help and, well the problem isn’t figuring out what needs done… its actually doing it.” He talked like this was a business call, and Jinx could tell. She wanted to yell down the line to talk normally. “We need certain materials we just don’t have access to, either because they’re too expensive or because we just can’t acquire them. It pains me to say, but its yet another thing we need help from topside. And this is becoming more and more non-negotiable. We need their materials, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t wholly serious. So… this is why I ask you Jinx. None of us really have many connections topside, and most are too proud to ask… But you, well, you have the Kirammans. A councillor.” Jinx’s heart fell. That’s what he wanted from her.
It wasn’t difficult, nor strenuous, but it was just another reminder of the divide between them. No longer did he talk to her like a friend, but like a political negotiation. “I know you’re out of Piltover right now, and busy with this new school and all… but, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t serious. Eh… think about it, if you could. I’ll text you the details… if you want. Anyways. I gotta go, now. See you, Jinx.”
“Ekk-” But he had already hung up.