dazai MIGHT like men (and other topics)
hell’s hounds (and pansy)
dazai’s HOT AS FUCK french partner: the air conditioning at beauxbatons malfunctioned and now it’s only blowing hot air.
bitch: i forgot you existed
dazai’s HOT AS FUCK french partner: ok fuck you too bitch
bitch: 🖕
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): damn it must be pretty hot in there… just like me
second in command: 😭?
dazai’s HOT AS FUCK french partner: you’re not hot
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): ouch…
bitch: get rejected loser
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): pansy don’t be mean to me you literally have a crush on someone with white hair
won’t associate with me: my hair is blonde.
jokes and tricks #1: i like how you automatically assumed it was you draco
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): LMFAOOOOOO ok that’s funny
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): you see when i say i have a crush on someone people don’t immediately know who it is
dazai’s HOT AS FUCK french partner: didn’t our old man get it on the first try? directly in front of said crush?
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): you’re not funny.
dazai’s HOT AS FUCK french partner: ❤️❤️
dazai’s HOT AS FUCK french partner changed their name to dazai’s crush
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): OK. THIS IS HARASSMENT?
dazai’s crush: is it
jokes and tricks #2: dazai it’s ok we support you…
jokes and tricks #1: mister dazai’s crush are you a male or a female
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DMS: dazai's crush -> dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° ))
dazai's crush: do we try and prank them
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): OMF
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): yes.
dazai's crush: LMFAOOOOO
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): this is why i love you
dazai's crush: ok bro.
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hell's hounds (and pansy)
dazai’s crush: female ffs
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅
dazai’s crush: THE TOMATOES??? 😭😭
freaky rat owner: What is ffs
dazai’s crush: usually it means “for fucks sake” but i mean it in the “for fucking sure” way
freaky rat owner: Ok
second in command: Aren’t all the people at Beauxbatons known for being rather attractive?
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): 🤨
dazai’s crush: yes and i’m very attractive no wonder dazai has a crush on me
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): I DONT I LITERALLY DO NOOOOT ur too short
dazai’s crush: you have admin privileges why haven’t you changed my name yet then
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): ....
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): no comment.
dazai’s crush: wild 😭😭
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): OK BUDDY.
jokes and tricks #1: this means we can’t match-make you dazai…
jokes and tricks #2: wait nooooo
dazai’s crush: i’ll probably show up at some point you know… idk when
second in command: Become the Beauxbatons champion in the Triwizard tournament?
dazai’s crush: no dazai would like that too much
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): this feels like some form of harassment can’t you just reject me like a normal person 😭😭😭🙏🙏
dazai’s crush: no this is funny
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): :(((((
dazai’s crush: cry harder, lowkey
library dweller: What’s going on?
won’t associate with me: to be honest, I have no clue
bitch: dazai’s little girl crush is bullying him and it’s hilarious
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): i can NOT take you seriously when you say girl crush i’m giggling
dazai’s crush: stop LMFAOO 💀💀💀
bitch: isn’t that what she is…
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): definitely!
dazai’s crush: HOLY AHIT THEY FIXED THE AIR CONDITIONING
dazai’s crush: ARAHABAKI IS GOOD🙏🙏
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): ARAHABAKI IS GOOD IS INSAAAANE
dazai’s crush: i’m NOT saying merlin is good and i’m not one to discriminate.
jokes and tricks #2: dazai’s crush is my bias
jokes and tricks #1: i need to meet you kid you seem like you would enjoy pulling pranks
dazai’s crush: yeah sure
jokes and tricks #1: we’ve recruited another!!
library dweller: I’m worried about you guys blowing up the school.
jokes and tricks #2: i’m only blowing up dazai haters
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): george is so nice to me
jokes and tricks #2: we love you boss!!!
freaky rat owner: You guys are weird
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): AAAAUGH
library dweller: Dazai? What’s wrong?
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): THE VOICEEEEES (telling me to burn the letter from mori instead of opening it)
dazai’s crush: go to that one teachers office when you open it so he can take it from you if you tweak
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): snapes?
dazai’s crush: i guess?
second in command: I second.
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): NO THEN HES GONNA FORCE ME TO TALK ABOUT WHATS BOTHERING ME.
library dweller: That’s a good thing! You need to talk to someone sometimes, Dazai.
dazai’s crush: talk to me instead baby 😍😍😍😍🥺🥺🥺😘😘😘
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): .....
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work chat!!
the doctor who doesn’t make me uncomfortable (kind of): Why did I just hear a loud bang that sounded suspiciously like someone falling over come from inside the walls while I was walking through the halls?
#1 nepotist (not really): What do you mean?
stalker: ?
Read by the doctor who doesn't make me uncomfortable (kind of), #1 nepotist (not really), stalker
hell’s hounds (and pansy)
library dweller:screenshot.pomfrey&loudbanging
library dweller: What is this?
bitch: dazai fainting
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): IT WAS EGG AND YOU KNOW IT.
bitch: im still confused on why we have a dragon in here??
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): .......shhhh
bitch: i swear
won’t associate with me: why are you two even in the club room together?
won’t associate with me: alone?
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): we’re playing chess
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): i’m demolishing her btw
bitch: you’re not
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): i literally am you’re gonna lose in like 4 moves
bitch: shut up
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): wondering if i should let you win…
bitch: SHUT UP
dazai’s crush: ok apparently the air wouldn’t work because some first years were practicing incendio without professor supervision and SET THE FUCKING AC ON FIRE??
dazai’s crush: and since it was THREE kids spells combined it overpowered the spell keeping it cool. i swear i hate this place
second in command: Sounds like a hassle.
dazai’s crush: i know right… i like children but not stupid ones
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): i hate children
dazai’s crush: ok we all know
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): nah we should have a kid and see if they like children or not
dazai’s crush: WHAT
dazai’s crush: FIRST OF ALL. YOURE A MAN YOU CANT GET PREGNANT??
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): i can try 🙏🙏🙏
dazai’s crush: what.
bitch: what the actual fuck
library dweller: Dazai that’s not how it works. 😭
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): 😘😘
dazai’s crush: hoe’s mad… jeez
dazai’s crush: second of all
dazai’s crush: EVEN IF YOU WERE A WOMAN I WOULDNT WANT TO HAVE A KID WITH YOU???
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): i would be so hot as a woman tho
dazai’s crush: do i look like i’m even in the same universe of giving a fuck as you
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): love bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh bluh
dazai's crush: QUIT IT.
bitch: i actually regret becoming acquaintances with you again holy shit
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): i live to make people regret their decisions
bitch: it’s working
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): guys this going to be off topic but what do i put in my instagram bio
jokes and tricks #1: what’s instagram
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): social media
jokes and tricks #2: what’s social media
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): rip fred and george you would’ve loved social media 🙏🙏🙏🔥🔥
jokes and tricks #1: WERE NOT DEAD?
jokes and tricks #2:😔😔
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): social media is a place where you can chat with people like this and post pictures for everyone or specific people to see
dazai’s crush: didn’t mori ban social media
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): since when have i listened to mori 💀💀💀💀💀👎👎👎👎
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): also you literally have it too shut up
dazai’s crush: 🖕🖕
jokes and tricks #1: I WANT SOCIAL MEDIA!!
dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° )): too bad i’m too lazy to help you set it up
jokes and tricks #1: understandable
dazai’s crush changed dazai (the demon student ☆⌒(≧▽° ))’s name to i don’t listen to my elders
i don’t listen to my elders: honestly
i don’t listen to my elders: valid name change
dazai’s crush: yeah that’s what i thought
dazai’s crush: actually
dazai’s crush changed i don’t listen to my elders’s name to i don’t listen to my elders (dazai)
dazai’s crush: for any confusion
second in command: I don’t think that’s confusing anyone.
freaky rat owner: Right
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): ok why am i always being harassed.
bitch: you deserve it
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): you’re mean to me wtf???
bitch: shocker
freaky rat owner: Does anyone have snapes homework
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): i can probably steal the key from his office if you want
freaky rat owner: Really
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): duh i practically live there
library dweller: Ron, I’ll help you with your homework. Cheating is not the way to go.
won’t associate with me: didn’t we make absolute bank second year selling lockhearts test answers…? AND exam answers...?
library dweller: I still can’t believe we did did that. 😭
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): i don’t regret a thing
i dont listen to my elders (dazai): wait
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai) changed wont associate with me’s name to gyaru lover
gyaru lover: WHAT LOVER??
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): gyaru
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): do you not remember our convo from a couple days ago
gyaru lover: THOSE WEIRD ASS GIRLS??
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): HATER
bitch: not everyone has the same type you know
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): yeah sorry i don’t like platinum blondes
gyaru lover: please stop
bitch: at least i don’t attract gingers like a magnet 🖕
dazai’s crush: right
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): YOURE LITWRALLY GINGER.
bitch: DAZAIS GIRLFRIEND IS A GINGER??
dazai’s crush: 💀
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): no comment
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): not my girlfriend
dazai’s crush: yeah no
jokes and tricks #2: bro MIGHT have a type 🙏🙏
freaky rat owner: Not sure that’s a good thing
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): I DONT HAVE A THING FOR GINGERS THEY COME TO ME I SWEAR
jokes and tricks #1: understandable i guess
gyaru liker: why are we still talking about this
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): it’s funny
gyaru liker: is it?
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): yes duh
library dweller: Wait, I have a question?
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): yes my beautiful goddess hermione
library dweller: ???
library dweller: Anyways, earlier when you were making odd comments about getting pregnant.
gyaru lover: WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): LMFAOOO yes hermione continue
library dweller: The other person. I don’t know what to call them.
dazai’s crush: me?
library dweller: Yes! Is there something we can call you?
dazai’s crush: ummm just call me dazai’s crush?? idk
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): astute observation
library dweller: …Ok, anyways. When you were talking about having a child with Dazai.
library dweller: Not to discriminate, of course, but I don't think two women can have biological children? So therefore, if Dazai became a woman you wouldn’t be able to have children together?
dazai’s crush: …OH WAIT AHIT
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): CHUUYA YOU BITCH 🙏💀💀💀😭😭😭😭
dazai’s crush: LMFAOOOO IM SOREY HELP ME
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): IM CRYIG RN
library dweller: ??
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): WIAT FUCK
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai) edited a message: CHUUYA YOU BITCH 🙏💀💀💀😭😭😭😭 -> CHIBI YOU BITCH 🙏💀💀💀😭😭😭😭
dazai’s crush: HGELO ME
bitch: wtf is going on right now
dazai’s crush: you found us out… i am NOT a woman please don’t ever say that again
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): you look like a woman 🙏🙏
dazai’s crush: stfu
i don't listen to my elders (dazai): also hermione im pretty sure there is a way for two women to have a bio kid i MAY be wrong though... im not well versed in that area since im not a woman...!
gyaru liker: wait a second
gyaru liker: dazai’s gay? 😭
dazai's crush: i feel like that shouldnt really be a shocker??
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): shhhh you bully
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): anyways why…
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): are you interested…
gyaru liker: um no??
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): lameeeee
gyaru liker: anyways ANSWER THE QUESTION????
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): ARE YOU HOMOPHOBIC?????1??1?1?1?1?1?!!!
gyaru liker: I DONT KNOW ANY GAY PEOPLE???
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): oh wow
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): that’s lowkey kind of sad draco stinks to be you gay people are awesome
dazai’s crush: if anyone in this chat is homophobic i might leave (i’m not gay)
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): 😢😢😢
gyaru liker: i don’t care i guess
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): SCORE
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): don’t worry draco i don’t like you
gyaru liker: ok?
jokes and tricks #1: we support you snakey
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): DO NOT MAKE THIS A THING IT DOESNT EVEN MATTERRRR😭😭😭💀💀💀🔥
dazai’s crush: we will stand for your rights dazai 🥺🥺🥺
i don’t listen to my elders (dazai): ok.
dazai’s crush: 😘😘
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