Elusive Dreaming

Even after the summer's end, they felt alone. Maybe it was because Billy saved the world and no one could ever know. Crisp air bit their reddened nose as they walked to school. Sounds of him still lingered in their mind so aimlessly. Flaunting memories of pity and despair.
Once upon a time, they were still alive. When you leave someone or they leave you it haunts you every faded happy memory plays on a loop. Until it short circuits. There in the bathroom falling apart only memories of fighting and hatred surface. Anything that was ever happily faded into a shattered mirror. Nevertheless, they were alone, and Maxine had her friends. All you had was Billy and even that came to an end. Abruptly reminded of him with every turn in this town. Long nights you can remember the worries slip away as you two danced in the rain. Or the time you were baking cookies with Max. Billy decided that he would surprise you. Resulting in a dry mixture to dust the ground. Along with you and him. Max smiled and that was the first time he had seen her smile. Or even heard her laugh since they had moved to Hawkins. He hated to admit it but he loved Max as his little sister. Yet as leaves crunch the ground stomping underneath your battered worn shoes. You forget the happy moments. Because the night after Max had snuck out on his watch. In return, his father had beaten him. And that unbridled rage was released negatively on you. He yelled all night long fighting with you about how it wasn't okay. Until the ever-so-strong Billy Hargrove fell asleep in your arms. After tears spilled from his eyes and yours. You both expressed emotion Until the tears ran out. Exhaustion consumes you after a long-awaited rest. The war was brought to a halt for the night. Submitting to pain and a hollow void that broke your heart time and time again. All they wanted was someone. That's all you could ask for. You knew he was far enough to walk. Walking distance and yet where he was. Tracing your fingers across his name engraved on the walls of Hawkins High. Alongside many others who had so tragically lost the battle. During the days in school, Nancy was there but she was hollow. Everyone felt like a ghost ready for disaster with a harsh gust of wind. You passed by several others hanging your head low. Until you reach him on your knees you sit temporarily until that gets uncomfortable. You trace his name engraved into the stone in front of you. Except this time with him, they weren't so bad. The memories led to a happy ending. How each time he was in your sight you were lit up like a holiday decoration. Every memory that you felt like he was gelatin and you were trying to nail him down into the wall. Standing your ground it blew away. Remember the late-night cuddles and small kisses in between classes? When you were with him, time never seemed to exist. The longer you were with him the better you both felt...Alive, in a sense. Billy Hargrove was your one true love and he knew that. You knew that as well it would forever be known. One day as you flipped through the yearbook a picture of him holding you was plastered on the cheesy teen romance page. Billy was looking down at you smiling like an idiot. Yet you were as you looked up into his eyes and saw light. Light at the end of the tunnel he needed to so badly see. His father was blind to his talents driving him to you. Afraid of driving you away but in that picture you saw hope. That became one of your many favorite pictures. Even light-years away you found love. The love wasn't as cliche as dancing in the rain. Or watching scary movies. It was the addiction of observation. Observation of how he looked in the moonlight on your long might drives as he would at music in his car. With one hand on the wheel and the other one resting on your knee. It was the midnight music you made just chatting. Spilling your secrets to him. He knew everything about you and you knew everything about him. People who assumed you wouldn't last never saw you in action. Counting stars while he plays with your hair. The best friend you could ever truly ask for was him. When anything comes up he could battle it. And for once that battle was done. "Hey, love it's me. Today Max opened up a bit although she has been sheltering herself. We all miss you so fucking much Billy. As hard as it is to believe I don't care anymore. About anything yet as they scream at me all I can think about is the day I finally get to be with you again. Next time our love won't be cut short. Deal? Anyway although I love you I thought about getting a dog. How does that sound? Or maybe we could just be happy together. I’m so numb to their words because I will love you, forever and always Billy Hargrove.”
Billy would remember that and everything you said. He absorbed it like a dish sponge. He craved you like nicotine. He needed you more than ever. You were his rock and his reason. His laughter was contagious, his smile was affectionate. Everything he remembered was the opposite of what you did. The negative memories faded away leaving traces of positives. Billy knew from the moment he laid eyes on you as you protected his little sister that he was in love. Billy decided to try for you and give it his all. Billy tried to learn love. Something he hadn't felt since he was a kid. Cursing himself when he did something wrong and trying to make it right was something fond. It showed he was willing to try for you. Painting colors into a beautiful masterpiece of your love.
As you sit in front of his headstone telling him about the past week or so. Pouring your heart and soul into each word. He is watching you standing behind you. Smiling at your mannerisms such as how you fidget with your hands when you speak to him. Or when you start to ramble about something you are so passionate about Watching you knowing that loving you will forever be elongated. In every lifetime you two will find each other. “Darling, I love you too,” Billy whispers before he watches you get ready to go on to meet with Max.