Help Me

I am sitting in class bored out of my mind. I look at my calendar and see how busy I am. I groan internally because not only do I have three clubs, I have basketball and then work. The bell finally rings and I stand up quickly trying to get out before the teacher can catch me. I walk out not realising who I bumped into, making me fall. I look up seeing lizzy and her group of friends. I look down feeling embarrassed. “Sorry” I mumbled while collecting my books.

“It’s okay…um…”she snaps her finger trying to remember my name “sto…stormi! RIght?” I nod. I can feel my cheeks are red still collecting my books. Lizzy kneels down and helps me. “Here you go” she says, handing me my books.

 I nod in thank you and scurry off like a scared little mouse. Lizzy and her group of friends are the”bad kids” they do drugs, skip class the whole nine-yards. It boggles my mind how they can do that and still be in school, but yet again this is public school. I go to my next class of the day. We had a group project and I got partnered with Lizzy's friend, Jack, I groan internally knowing I will be stuck with all the work as normal. He sits with me and I wait for him to just lean back and fall asleep but instead he starts workign without me even begging. I raise a brow. What’s his game? “What?” he asks, I look down embarrassed that i got caught staring, not like i thought he was attractive or anything that would be ridiculous. Dangerous even. 

“N-nothing just shocked is all” he raises a brow “you're actually doing the work you're not you know making me do everything. Unless you just think i'm too stupid to take lead on this which is also quite normal” i noticed i was rambling “sorry”

“You say sorry a lot” I blush red. “No, I don't think you're stupid and nor am I making you do all the work. We are partners, it should be 50/50 "I nod in understanding. Now I was thinking that for this project we should talk about the legalization of herbal drugs” I gave him a look knowing he means weed. “Okay smarty pants what are you thinking?”

I look down and I am rarely asked for my opinion. I just go by what other people say. I look around the classroom “h-history repeating itself and its effects on society. No one really thinks about it. They may think history is stupid and- "I stop again realizing I am rambling once again. I look at Jack and notice a smile instead of a look of disdain.

“You're cute when you ramble” my face somehow goes redder. He bursts out laughing. I look down and he then stops and looks guilty “i'm not laughing at you,  i'm laughing at the situation. I think it’s cute” The bell rings and I bolt out “wait!” he calls out and chases after me. I stop and look up at him just now realizing how much taller he is compared to me “i like your idea. Why don't you come to my place and we will actually work on it” i nod “number?” I gave him my number and he sent me his address.I nod then i remembered all i have to do.

“Ummm im not free till 12am” i say he looks at me shocked then nods.

“That's okay i live alone you can come whenever you are free” i look at him confused but nod then leave for the rest of my day.

I finished work around 1am. I went to Jack's house hoping he meant it with his words. I carefully ring the doorbell. I hear a groan and a grumble. My heart sinks. I must have angered him. Might as well stay and be yelled at then him thinking i doorbell ditched. He opens the door, his chest visible I gulp and looks away trying not to stare at his bare chest. “Oh! Hey” a smile breaks on his face. “Come in come in!” he exclaims. I carefully walk in. I look around and see the whole group in the house. Lizzy is rubbing her eyes. Mathew yawning and Samantha grumbling while still half asleep.

“I'm sorry I know it’s late but work ran later than expected and you said it was okay but I didn't realize you had company. I can just leave. I'm sorry for intruding” i start walking to the door before i get grabbed by the arm.

“Hey hey, calm down. It’s okay. They are always here so they can get over the extra company and i said pop by after work i didn't care when. You worry so damn much. Relax a little bit” I look down still feeling anxious “come on let's go to my room” I follow him slowly looking around as we walk. He opens a door and I slip in head bowed. “Has anyone told you, you are like a mouse?” I nod slowly. I have been called a mouse multiple times and a stiff and loser…”pull up a chair or sit on the bed” I sit in one of his chairs and go to his desk. He smiles softly and then grabs a baggy with joints in it. I look at it in shock that he can just confidently show it to people. “What gonna snitch” I shake my head. My brother does it and I know what would happen if he got caught and I wouldn't want that for anyone.He lights it and sits next to me. He then passes it to me. I shake my head. He shrugs and continues to smoke it. There was then a knock on the door. “Come in!” Jack yells. Lizzy walks in. “hey what’s up?” Lizzy grabs the joint and takes a hit “hey!” Lizzy smirks then faces me looking shocked and practically sucks in the smoke making her cough hard.

“What's the stiff doing here?” she asks gasping for air. I look at her in terror not knowing what to do. “She’s gonna rat us out numbnuts!” i shake my head desperately hoping they will believe me. “Yeah right”

“N-no i wouldn’t, I swear” she looks me up and down trying to find some lie in my words luckily she finds none because she takes another hit. I sigh relieved she believed me. “So why is she here? This late more less”

“School project liz don't get your panties in a twist, that's my job” lizzy rolls her eyes and smirks. I look between them confused. Were they together? “Have you never seen a relationship before?” i nod “not a big talker are you?” I shake my head “we are this fun thing called poly, ever heard of that” i nod. I vaguely know about it. I know a base layer of it and to me it’s not healthy but that is years of watching my mom forcing my dad to be poly when he wanted to be mono. “Huh shocking” she kisses Jackson then heads out.

“Ignore her, she is just overprotective.” I nod looking down “let's get this project" I nod and then i see a light bulb spark in his eyes “hey why don't you talk and i type it out?” I looked at him confused. “Well you seem passionate about it, we could use that then edit it for at least a B paper.” I scoff B was not good enough it had to be an A or it wasn't good enough. “What a B is good”

“It has to be an A and me rambling won't get us an A mostly because there would be no sources” I say looking anxious.

“But you have studied this before you obviously know a lot about it.” i nod confirming i have looked deeply into this seeing how the world is still repeating itself. “Let's try it” I sigh then nod. I start talking, turning into a passionate ramble and he follows me with a flow never stopping more or asking me to repeat myself. I keep going until I realize I'm circling myself. “That was good!” I smile softly surprised he could keep up with me “im a fast typer been taking typing classes since i was a kid” he says like he could read my mind. 

“Should we read it or sit on it” I asked, wanting his opinion. We have a week to finish this so I am not too worried about it yet.

“Sit on it then edit we may want to add.” I nod and yawn, stretching. I look at the time and realize it is 3am. I feel bad keeping him up this late “it’s okay, little mouse. I have stayed up way later than this before." I looked at him confused. Am I talking out loud without realizing it? “Your face is like an open book. You’re quite easy to read, believe it or not.” I blush red.

“I better get home” i say standing up almost falling over due to pins and needles. He quickly grabs me and chuckles. I look up at him “guess i sat too long” I mumble. He nods with a smirk. Then he situates me and keeps his hands out just in case I fall again. “Well see you later” I walked out of the room feeling exhausted. I don't like it. I go into my bag and go to the bathroom real fast. I take a pill then I hide the bottle once again. One perk of having a drug dealer as a brother is that he has a good stash and lets you take the first pick. I walk out and come face to face with Samantha “hey” i squeak “sorry” i move out of her way before i could walk away she grabs my arms and looks into my eyes. I gulp.

“What you on?” she asks. I look at her shocked. Are my eyes really that dilated that she could tell that quickly? “She points to the bright ass light “your eyes should be pinholes. So what you on because i know it’s not weed” i gulp “i know your brother, dude, and I know all the activities you do.” 

“N-nothing. My eyes are just not that sensitive to light” i say hoping she will believe me

“Dont bullshit me” she say sharply. The other three see the scene and lean against the walls pinning me in. lizzy comes up and grabs my bag gently. I try to fight it but it was futile with samantha holding my arm. Lizzy digs through my bag and finds the pill bottle. She throws it to Mathew and he looks at it.

“Is this adderall?!” I gulp “oh my god! The stiff is a pill junkie” everyone looked shocked. I look down ashamed. I knew not to do it but at home but I got desperate like an idiot. Sam let me go. Looking at me shocked. I want to crawl into a hole and die.

“Okay you had your fun now give it back” i say trying not to sound desperate for them,

“Nu uh you don't need these evil things” i look pissed i open my mouth “we care about you dumbass. Believe it or not people actually like you." I look at them confused. They barely talk to me. How could they like me? “We have liked you since middle school. Thought you were so cute and sweet. Fuck we wanted you for years. Still do."He says still holding the bottle “and that means protecting you even for a little bit” I gape I can't believe what i'm hearing.

“No y-your lying” I say shaking my head im the forgotten mouse no one feels that way about me. They come closer and look at me. Panic settles in. I am without my pills and i find out that four people have had a crush on  me since middle school. 

Sam holds my chin up making me look her in the eyes “we’re not lying” she whispers. I pull away looking terrified. No no no they are pulling a prank they have to be. She comes closer and kisses me softly. I look at her stunned. She smirks and pulls away. 

“I-i…” I sigh “give me my pills so i can go home” i ask again softly trying to process everything.

“No way Jose,” Mathew says. “These are going down the drain where they belong” he walks past me and does just that and lizzy holds me back making sure i dont lounge for them. I struggle but she is much stronger than me. Down the drain they go. I look down in defeat. He comes back and lifts my face to look him dead in the eyes. I scowl at him “I know, little mouse but it's for your own good.” He kisses me softly.  He examines me closer “how long has it been since you slept?”

I look at him confused. I don’t even remember the last time I slept. I am not insane so it hasn't been 6 days. I haven't been slurring but I have been unsteady. I keep thinking. “4 days?” I say it as a question because I really don't know my days are blurring together. I can barely remember to eat let alone when I last slept. I looked around and they looked shocked. “What?”

“4 days?”asks jackson. I shrug “you don't even know? That's not safe at all” he says, concern lacing his voice. I shrug again not seeing the big deal. “Princess, does your brother know?” I shake my head. My brother just gives me the supply and lets me go. He never checks up on me. He looks more concerned. “Your staying here until you get over these pills.” I looked at him in shock.

“What? No!” I exclaimed. 

“Yes, you are in no position to be alone, mostly around your brother.” i look at him with my mouth in an O. “it’s final” I close my mouth no protest comes out i know i am stuck. I sigh slumping down. “Good girl” I tingle when my stomach does flip flops. I shake it off trying to ignore the feeling they are giving me. We walk to the living room, the adderall is kicking in again and I feel like god once again.  “Looks like we’re staying up for the rest of the night” , noticing quickly that i'm not sleeping anytime soon. I go in my bag and pull out my computer. I start working on project after project. “How many things do you have to do?”

I look up at him and shrug “I lost count really. I'm in 15 clubs and 4 sports i work i do dual credits at the local college and that's not including my doctors, the selfcare nor my chores." Jack looks at me concerned, “hehe, I guess my plate is pretty full,” I say , scratching the back of my head. 

“You think?” he exaggerates. “Why would they let you do all of this?”

“I can keep up” I say shrugging “the school doesn't really care unless i keep my grades up and keep participating.” 

“You're gonna be burnt once the pills wear off” Jack says. I look at him scared he is right I was able to do all this stuff because of the pills without them what's gonna happen? I'm screwed. 

“I will just have to push through, I guess,” I weakly say. I don't know what I'm gonna do now that the A student burnt out. All that work down the drain. No..No I will not allow that. We went quiet and I kept working on my projects until school started that morning.