Early February, 2001, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Hermione Granger`s Pov.
It was never quite as hard to be a twenty-something woman, surrounded by hormonal teenagers, as when Valentines was approaching, and you didn't have a date... mainly because the man you were in love with and was too stubborn to admit the fact.
-Are you going to let me win, Hermione? Ron asked. She only grunted at him, and kept eyeing some third-year students making paper swans across the Great Hall. It reminded her of her third year, when a certain someone had made one crash and get stuck in her hair. It hadn`t been a fun day at all. Thankfully, Draco's nose had never fully healed after she had punched him in the face at the end of the year, and to this day, it still looked a little out of place despite Madam Pomfreys best efforts to patch him up.
Beside her, Harry was too concentrated on folding a paper rose for Luna, a very sweet idea, in her opinion, to say anything. A bit further down the table, Mc Gonagall was helping a fifth-year student who was struggling with how to construct a poem. Yes, it was an odd sight...all of it was, but then again, this was the first time since her second- year at school that Hogwarts would be celebrating Valentines. It had all been decided after the school board, which had been created after the war when Minerva refused to take the position as headmaster in an attempt to make sure the whole Umbridge situation wasn't repeated anytime soon, had declared that something should be done this year to cheer up the student body as many still suffered from PTSD and St Mungos was struggling with how to treat everyone as the condition was still completely new to them, being a muggle condition and all. A few weeks ago, all students had gotten to vote between different activities and celebrations, and as a result, Hogwarts would be celebrating Valentines Day. The school board had been right, making each other gifts did seem to lighten everyone up...expect for her. She simply didn't know what to gift professor Lupin...or even if she should gift him anything at all, because she didn't want to come of as pathetic and the last thing she wanted was to shamelessly beg him for a relationship. She had done that to many times in the past with him just, in that frustratingly logical, yet gentle and sweet way, brushed her off...never wanting to address their relationship. Yes, it was a relationship, the stubborn man just refused to make it official because he still, after all these years, thought that she could do better...that she should be dating someone else. When she had asked him, and that on numerous occasions, who the hell he imagined she would date if not him, and forced him to say a name if he wanted to have his chocolate bars back, not covered in cat hair, he had given her names. One name at a time, and every time she had either cried in frustration, causing him to hand her a tissue, laughed because the mere thought was ridiculous, he had then looked at her as if she had lost her mind, or, screamed at him in bewilderment to which he had simply shrugged and magically changed to another LP because he had already listened to all his favourite ones on the one they had been listening too. At this point, she didn't think anybody could blame her for being frustrated, feeling helpless, and being bored with the whole spectacle that Valentines was sure to be. Sure, she wanted the other students to have fun, but that didn't mean she looked forward to not getting any gifts for herself, nor having anything worthwhile to give to Lupin. Not anything that would change his mind anyways, because she was pretty sure that, if there was a way for her to do that, she would've done it already. She might take the utmost pride in her academic achievements, but that didn't mean that, in moments like this, she wished she was a bit more like Harry and Ron, whose academic life and romantic one were more in balance...even if they sucked at both, well at least Ron did. Harry had been quite successful as of late in wooing Luna, and they made a really cute couple. Speaking of Luna, she just walked past their table with her arms filled with more crafting material, and briefly stopped in front of her.
-Don't let the Nargles get you down...She said, smiling softly.
-How would they even do that? Ron asked, popping a candy into his mouth in his usual, boyish way. It was always a disgusting sight, and she focused her attention back on Luna.
-They hide out, sometimes you don't even know they are there...and then they pop up, and their grumpiness infects you...so yes, don't let them get you down. I love Valentines...its feels no nice, doesn't it? Spreading love to others simply because you can...even to the Nargles. Sometimes, all they need is food, and they`d be the sweetest thing to you...keep that in mind.
-Good luck with your crafting Harry...I forgot to say it before.
-Thanks...the same to you, he said, doing his best to shield his half-finished origami flower with his hands.
Luna smiled again and walked back to her seat across the hall.
-Someone is in love....Ron snickered.
-Shut up, Ron.
-Yeah, shut up Ronald.
-Harry...
The sound of professor Lupins voice made her jump in her seat. Her head whipped around, and she looked up at him where he stood behind her.
-Fuck, Remus...you scared me, she breathed. He just raised an eyebrow at her, moustache twitching, and she glared at him before looking away. Why did he always have to be so handsome? And why did he always have to do the eyebrow thing...It made her want to kiss him and smack his cheek at the same time, two very contradicting urges and she could never decide which one was the strongest. But then again, so did the moustache thing...even more so than the aforementioned.
-You forgot your textbook.
-Oh, it's not mine...
Lupin faltered, but still held out the book towards Harry.
-Are you sure, because your name...?
-Yes, I mean, it's mine...It's a Christmas present from Luna. Id promised I'd come around to read it, but there`s been so many Quidditch practices since the pitch was restored last month.
-Yeah, we really want to win the Cup this year, Ron added.
Harry took the book from Lupin and put it on the table in front of him.
-Thats a pretty...
-It's a rose...can't you see?
-Yeah, but I didn't want to assume it was a rose in case it was another flower...many flowers look almost the same you know, and I've tried origami myself once...it's pretty hard in the beginning.
Harry nodded with a laugh.
-It is, but I think she will love it.
-Of course she will, Hermione said.
Lupin nodded.
-I think so as well...well, lucky crafting, he said, and walked away. She couldn't help but glance at him out of the corner of her eyes as he left the Great Hall.
-What's that?
-Oh, that's my bookmark.
-Wait, you've actually read half of it?
-Yeah, didn't I just say I'm going to read it?
-I guess... but you never read-....
Sighing inwardly, she half listened to the boys as they chatted, unsurprisingly, with the Quidditch cup having been mentioned, they were soon talking about...you guess, Quidditch. Looking down at the many things spread out around her, glittery powder, tape, coloured paper, stickers, greeting cards, and a keychain teddy bear that some muggleborn must've donated to the cause, she tried and failed to think of anything to gift Lupin. Reaching for a candy, she put in in her mouth and began to suck on it. Around her, the crafting continued, and everyone was in such high spirits she wondered if maybe Professor Snape had drugged them all when they last were in potions. The only reason why it was impossible though, was because he would never potion anyone to be happy. No, if he had had anything to do with it, everyone would've been miserable and tried to craft a representation of their own heartbreak, with all papers being in black, and absolutely no colourful glitter powder and no stickers...unless it was potions labels that Dumbledore had forbidden him to rip of the vials because some of them would be dangerous to drink, touch or even inhale. Inhale...amortentia...she could brew Lupin a love potion...not to poison him of course, but just to prove to him that they could smell each other. But then again, that wasn't really much of a gift, was it? It would just cause an argument between them when he lied about what he could smell, or, pretended like it didn't matter that they could smell each other, or claimed that she was mistaken and that they smelled other people which she knew for a fact that they didn't. Thinking of potions and Snape, made her thoughts wander back to third-year, when he had thought Lupins class and forced them to write that werewolf essay. Harry and Ron have struggled, especially Ron, whereas she had passed with flying colours...well, in Lupins eyes anyways, and that was all that had mattered to her. If gifting presents would be as easy as to write essays, then she would be an expert at that to. Her tongue moved the candy in her mouth, and as she began to suck on it again...her gaze fell on Harry's book.
"Fantastic-..."
She froze, gaze glued to the book.
"If giving presents would be as easy as to write essays, then she would be an expert on that too"... Lupin didn't want to make things official between them, causing her to be in a weird state of limbo of being someone's girlfriend and also not being someone`s girlfriend either, because he thought she was meant for someone else...but if she wrote him an essay about it...he was her teacher after all...then he couldn't' ignore it anymore! Yes, that was what she would do, she would write an essay about all the men and boys he had suggested was a better fit for her, she would roast them like a toaster until they were BURNED, and then she would shove the damn essay in his stupidly handsome, scarred face, and demand that he celebrate Valentines with her and eat some chocolate together...and no, it was not a dirty metaphor for sex. That would be a later essay, why she was perfectly fine with him taking her virginity...and well, every other time after that too. Now, all that mattered was making him see reason and accept that they were a couple.
Feeling giddy inside, she almost squeaked with excitement as she reached forward and grabbed a sheet of pink parchment...with Hogwarts being a wizarding school, Snape had gotten the, to him probably diminishing, task of transfiguring all donated muggle crafting materials that could be transfigured, into wizarding ones...which included the coloured paper that he had spent hours turning into coloured parchment. Choosing a pink one, both because it was her favourite colour, a secret she would never admit to the public because everyone just assumed that, being emotionally distant to most other students, she liked a boyish colour like blue or some bullshit idea like that, and because she thought it fit with Valentines...and didn't look as aggressive as the red parchment, which possibly just remind Lupin of blood and being a werewolf, she began to write.
To professor Lupin.
She hesitated for just a moment, tapping her pencil against the parchment. As of late, in an attempt to be more welcoming to the muggleborns, the school board had decided that that all students should, at any given moment, be allowed the choice between a muggle pencil and inkpot and feather...and today, she had chosen a ballpoint pen. She usually preferred them because they didn't smear as much when she got excited and touched all of the parchment in her eagerness to get all of her thoughts down before she forgot any of them.
As she wrote, Ron every now and then complained to Harry, who simply hummed in answer, not really listening him either, about how she wasn't really crafting, why she couldn't let loose for once and do something none academical, but she was to lost in her happy little bauble of hope to give a fuck about anything else going on around her. She was almost certain that Lupin, the "Nargle" himself could be standing behind her again, and she probably wouldn't had noticed anything at all.
By the time she was done, she felt confident that maybe, just maybe, this would be enough for Lupin to at least take a few steps in the right direction...and if he could do that, it meant that hope wasn't loss and that she could still push him further than just a yearly kiss under the mistletoe, a tradition she loved more than any other, but also hated, because she wanted to be able to kiss him whenever she wanted...which was every day, and more than once. Carefully folding her essay, she unfolded it again, and, on a whim filled with happiness, she emptied a whole vial of purple, sparkling glitter over the parchment. Harry just glanced at her and shoot her a smile, whereas Ron started to the point she wondered if his eyes would actually bug out of his skull this time...but they probably wouldn't. If it would've happened, it would've happened back in first year the first time he stared at her for doing something he couldn't fathom why, how, or even when. Sometimes even with who.
For the rest of the afternoon, she simply hung out with Harry and Ron as they finished up their gifts, ate candy, lazily watched everyone craft, and, best of all, daydreamed about Valentine`s Day when she would give Lupin the essay. She just hoped it would make a difference.
Xxxxxx
Five days later, she was sitting in Lupins classroom. As always, she was sitting in the front row, the same seat she had claimed in her third- year, and Lupin was leaning back against his desk. His last class for the day, which was her and her classmates, had just ended, and everyone except for her had left.
-So... you aren't you going to get going? He asked, and she shook her head no. He raised an eyebrow.
-No, I'm pretty fine where I am, but thanks for asking.
His moustache twitched, a slow smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.
-So... got any plans, Miss Granger?
-Actually yes.
-And what might that be?
-Nothing much...I'm just going to celebrate Valentine`s with my favourite professor.
He laughed, and she couldn't help but smile. He looked so beautiful when he smiled. The sadness seemed to drain off of him for a few moments. Not that he wasn't always beautiful, but it made her warm inside to know that she was the reason behind that smile.
-You just expect me to have prepared a dinner for us? At Valentine`s?
-Yes, she said simply, knowing that he was only teasing her. One of the many things they had in common was to always make plans...about anything. About when they would hang out, what they would do, if either of them needed to bring anything, etc.
-Lucky for you...I have...come...
She got up from her seat, and quickly hid the parchment behind her back as she followed him up the short staircase to his office and through the door. The rain pelted down the windows overlooking the schoolgrounds, the soft sound melting together with the tunes from the record player in the corner. Her favourite Lp. He had chosen it for her. The table, or rather, his big office desk, had been set with dinner and dessert. Before each of their seats, opposite to one another, stood a plate with food the house elves had prepared, and in between their plates stood a small chocolate cake that he must've baked himself, surrounded by candles, their soft gleam the only light in the room. There were also two small, unopened bottles of Butterbeer, which had become really expensive these days as the fabric has partially been destroyed in the war.
As she stared at the scene, tears slowly poured in her eyes, and when she did her best to blink them away, the lights from the candles seemed to stretch out the way lights always does when one is crying. Past the desk, and Lupins chair, outside the window glass, the world was blurred by the rain, making the rest of the world seem so far away, that she wondered if maybe, there had never been a war, one they both survived...and yet, how come they both still had scars that wouldn't heal before many, many years from now?
The sky was darkening as nighttime was quickly approaching. The dark three line of the forbidden forest was no longer white like it had been for the last few weeks before the snow had began to smelt. It still wasn't completely gone, and it was sure to come back at least once before the winter turned into spring. It was so cold out there, and most of the wizarding world was still in ruins after the war...but, in here, with Lupin, in the warm shadows, there was refuge.
He came up to her, and gently touched her shoulder. In the soft candlelight, the scars on his face stood out more. Usually, they were almost faded...but tonight she could see them clearly. Hesitating for just a moment, she reached up on her tiptoes...and when he leaned down, she lowered herself again, and raised one hand to his face. Gently, she traced the scars. As her fingers caressed his skin, he closed his eyes. The vulnerability he so easily showed her, despite being so afraid of her seeing him as broken, made her stomach twist and knot. How could she ever be enough to someone like him...someone who deserved so much, but had had the hardest life of everyone she had ever known?
-Yeah, so...everything is ready...It's not much but...
-No, it's perfect.
Of all the times they had hung out together, it had never felt this much like a date before. Knowing that he had put a lot of effort into tonight, made butterflies swarm in her stomach. She didn't always feel those, that's only natural when you`re in love with someone who hurts you just as often as he builds you back up, but she was glad that she felt them now.
He smiled at her.
-You always say that, you know.
-Well, then take pride in knowing that I'm always pleased, and you always make me feel special.
-I do, believe me. Anyways, now that you`re here...we just need our special guest.
She blinked.
Guest? Wasn't it going to be just the two of them? Please, don't say he had brought Harry...this was supposed to be a date, wasn't it? Or at least, date like...that would all be ruined if Harry was to be with them.
-Don't tell me you invited Harry?
-Why, would that be a problem?
He was smirking at her.
-No, she said in an even voice, studying her nails.
-I just don't think he would like to see us snogging, that's all. It might traumatise him, and then we`d have to let him have the whole cake as compensation.
-Good then that I didn't invite him. I'm not stupid, Hermione.
She just huffed.
-Okay, so our special guest...welcome!
He opened the door to his chambers, and she stared at him, before looking towards the doorway. There was no one there.
-Meow...meow...
Blinking, she lowered her gaze to the floor. There, by Lupins feet sat Crookshanks, meowing at them.
She laughed.
-Remus!
He grinned at her.
-I know you were planning to bring him, but when I saw you at lunch you said he had run off somewhere and you didn't think he would show up again today...so I went searching around the castle.
She groaned.
-Where was he this time?
-Actually, I found him down at Hagrid's... He had taken him inside when he noticed him inspecting the pumpkin path in the rain. He said he had tried to dry him off, because he seemed cold, the poor creature...
She giggled as he mimicked Hagrid's accent.
-But he refused to be touched. He hissed at me when I picked him up, but you know how he is more hiss than bite. I brought him back here and dried him off...he should be as dry as if he had been inside the whole day.
-Wait, it didn't start raining until half an hour ago, and how do you know he`s been out all day? Please don't tell me you`ve spent the whole day looking for him.
-I did...why? Don't worry, it was my day off, so I didn't miss any of my classes.
-But that's exactly my point! You had the day off! You should've been doing something you wanted to do, not looking for Crookshanks all day!
She looked directly at him.
-Bad Crookshanks...really bad Crookshanks!
-Meow...he said, not sounding apologetic at all. Then, he began to sniff Lupins trousers leg before he licked his left shoe.
Lupin just smiled down at him before looking back at her.
-Well, I knew you wanted him here, and I wanted you to be happy, so I brought him. Look, he is all dry!
Bending down, he scratched Crookshanks head.
-Meow...meow....
-Has anyone ever told you that you are too self-sacrificing?
He had the audacity to laugh.
-Yeah, you...many times.
Straightened up, he moved one of his hands as if to gesture towards the desk, when he faltered and stared at her.
-Is something wrong? Are...are you crying?
She quickly shook her head, causing her curls to bounce back and forth.
-No, everything is perfect...well, almost everything. I uhm...crafted you something. A present...of sorts.
His worried face lit up, and she wasn't sure whether an essay had been the right choice. What if her trying to pressure him would ruin their night...the dinner he had prepared for them? Nervously, she held out the folded parchment.
He took it and began to open it.
-Oh, and keep it away from the food!
Barely had she said it before the small explosion went off, and glitter flew everywhere...including in his face. Thankfully he had closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he blinked, and glanced down at the parchment, and then he looked at her.
-I'm sorry...I... I've might've been a bit too eager when I cast the charm.
-No, no... it's okay...he said, but she still cringed inwardly...seeing the glitter here and there in his face, some had even landed in his hair. How she hated that as a child, getting glitter in her hair...and yet, she`d thrown a tantrum every time her mum had asked that maybe she didn't need to add glitter to all of her drawings. Maybe she had overdone it this time, though.
-Wait...
He raised his eyebrow again.
-Another glitter surprise?
She blushed, and shook her head.
-No...can you just...can you read it out loud...I`d like to see your reaction as you read along. It's...not just a love not or anything, it's actually quite an important message.
He blew out a breath.
-So...To professor Lupin: A CHARACTER ANAYLYSES OF HERMIONE GRANGER`S (IM)POSSIBLE, ROMANTIC INTERESTS...sounds interesting.
-C'mon on...don't be stubborn, please? She gave him the puppy eyes that he pretended to hate because he almost, almost always gave in when she did that.
He grunted quietly...but then he smirked, and without telling her what was suddenly so funny, he began to read.
Professor Lupin, you`ve been very convinced that you and me would not make a good couple. I disagree. Therefore, I decided to write this essay, with the goal of,
- Make you realise that I've understood your viewpoint
- Prove to you that your viewpoint is;
- Wrong
- Ridiculous
- Sounds like terrible advice given the candidates presented.
By the end of the essay, a special point will also be given, that, in my humble opinion, and yes, this is still Hermione writing, not Dumbledore, makes me deserving of a gold star!
The research has been conducted as follows:
I, Hermione Granger, writer of this essay, has studied all of the objects for the purpose of determining their combability with me. The essay is extensive, and includes data about who those individuals are, my perception of them, and the success rate of a romantic involvement based off all those facts combined. Due to the care that has been put into each study, the result of those studies cannot be questioned by the reader, or the professor whose stubbornness demanded that this essay be written.
sidenote: Forgive the inconsistent use of first, second and third person.... I had a limited amount of time to finish this essay, and the message and the research themselves were to me of a much greater importance than the grammar.
His moustache twitched.
-Tut, tut, Hermione... failing at grammar now, eh?
-Why don't you read that again...you seem to have missed the “forgive” part of it.
He laughed and shook his head, causing the few strands of hair hanging down over his forehead to brush back and forth over his eyebrow, and the tip of the strands to almost hit him in the left eye. He blinked. She tried not to look amused. He always looked surprised, no matter how many times a day it happened.
I also know that professor Lupin isn't stupid and wouldn't be misled by said grammar mistakes. He is only petty when he wants to be...or if the student deserves it.
He snorted.
-Maybe he would if arguing with the writer was one of his favourite things to do.
She locked her lips together and stared at him silently.
After a moment, he narrowed his eyes, and pretended to sigh in annoyance. Eyes sparkling, he studied her for another moment until Crookshanks hissed and lashed out against his trousers leg. He just glanced down and hummed in response before he continued reading, not at all faced by Crookshanks antics after seven years of her pet's love-hate relationship which had extended from just her to Lupin as well sometime during her third-year. It was a courtesy he only gave the two of them, and so they took whatever affection they could get out of him.
Candidate 1. According to Professor Lupin, Hermione Granger should date:
Ron Weasley, also called Ronald, idiot and Ronnikins.
First of all, Ron is a slob. Have you seen the way he eats!? He spills everywhere, talks with his mouth stuffed, and is more concerned about eating himself full than worrying about Harry going missing and showing up with a broken, bloodied nose. He picks on me, for no reason, and always questions what I'm doing as if it's the most strange, annoying or pathetic thing ever.
For example, he makes fun of me for studying.
The sight of me reading annoys him
Me praising muggle inventions annoys him and makes him argue...and he is only good at it when he wants to insult me. He never cares to understand muggle things or the muggle world, and when he shows interest, it's just pretend. He thinks muggles are stupid because they can't do magic, which is an insult to my parents and my heritage.
He always questions me about my decisions, even ones that has nothing to do with him. He wonders why I'm drinking water for breakfast today when I drank pumpkin juice yesterday. He wonders why I tuck my scarf a certain way whenever we have classes outside, and then shows my how "wizards does it".
I hate Quidditch with just as much passion as Ron loves it. He might suck at playing it, but that doesn't mean that he isn't obsessed with it to the point of ALWAYS talking about it and going to every single match in full supportive clothing for Gryffindor. It reminds me of muggle football...which I also hate with a passion.
Anyways, Ron CRAVES attention more than anyone I've ever known, and the more people that gives it to him, the better. I don't thrive in cheering crowds, like he does...and I want a boyfriend who would not soak up fame and popularity like a sponge, only to become poisonous and neglective of everything else and everyone that doesn't support him like his fans does.
Moving on to personality, Ron is the dog type of person. If you don't know what that means, it means that he is;
- Clingy to the point of obsession
- Expects your attention all of the time
- C. Listen to you...until he doesn't and cheats because of insecurities (which Ron has a lot of, believe me), pure lust...because dogs can't control themselves, just like boys can't...or simply because he is being petty about some thing or another that he claims is my fault and wants to punish me because he thinks he has the right to hurt me back.
Aside from that, he is also the kind of person that, as long as you agree with him, he is happy. As soon as you disagree, the sexism comes out. He is the type of guy that treats a girlfriend perfect and is charming and funny, until you complain about something or wants to break up. Then he becomes abusive, and you`ll realise what a pig he was all along because he has hidden, disgusting ideas about what a girlfriend is and what she is allowed and not allowed, according to HIM.
Family wise, I know many people are jealous of him because he has such a big loving family. They think that having so many siblings has humbled him, you know, him being handed hand me down things like clothes, books, wands and pets. But what I see is him abusing the mentality of "I DESERVE GOOD THINGS TOO", in any romantic relationship.
When it comes to the way his looks, I...well, when we were younger, he had such a baby face. I know most people think he looked adorable, Molly, in particular, but then again, she is his mother, but all I ever saw was the hidden arrogance underneath the layer of innocence. He isn't traditionally arrogant, aka, he doesn't wear it on his sleeve...but he...he has this way of looking at Malfoy sometimes, that says he thinks he is better than him because he comes doesn't come from wealth....I don't know how else to describe it other than that Ron has a superior complex in the sense of coming from a morally righteous family. In that aspect, he and Draco is actually quite alike...though I've never really thought of it that way before. Interesting.
Anyways, though I can't really blame him for his clothes, as they are hand me downs...He looks like your typical fun loving, slightly awkward, teenage guy who wants to be friends with everyone who he thinks has the same morally righteous background as him. Again, too much of the “Dog” personality, I simply can't with a co-dependent boyfriend that doesn't bring out co-dependency in me, as it creates an unhealthy, mentally exhausting imbalance in the relationship... (especially when, for some reason, Ron as a person sparks my need for total independence). That`s just one of the reasons why I prefer the “Cat” personality...which is basically the opposite, and is more similar to Harry.
Disturbing fact about Ron:
1: He drinks juice and milk directly from the package and then puts the beverage right back in the fridge without ever telling anyone...and when I tell him it's not hygienic and could potentially be dangerous, he accuses me of being petty and trying to control his every move
- He hates classic music, whether its muggle or wizarding, simply because he has no patience whatsoever to sit still and listen...he must always jump around and scream-sing at the top of his lungs.
- He has never borrowed a library book from the school library that didn't have food stains on every page when he returned it...and once, I found a whole slice of bacon between the pages of one of his classbooks! It's disgusting...the way he has no concern for hygiene, and no concern for all the books he damages!
- All of his Quidditch idols are assholes. You won't believe what I've read about them in the Quibbler! And the worst thing, he might turn into those people as he grows up, if he ever becomes good enough to get on a real Quidditch team outside of Hogwarts.
- He NEVER remembers to wash his hands after wiping Butterbeer or food off of his mouth...which means sooner or later, he always ends up touching something of mine which causes me to freak out and us not to talk for 3 days straight. It happened as recently as last week.
Combability with Ron:
Platonic; 1% (He is Harry's friend, not mine).
Romantic; -150% (there are worse candidates).
Lupin looked up at her, a smile on his face.
-Why do I get a feeling that this essay is...how do I put it, a bit biased?
He asked, a clear invite for her to continue proving her point...and they both knew she could go on forever about how her opinion of Ron wasn't at all biased and that it was his fault if she didn't like him...but this wasn't about Ron and she was to apprehensive about what he would say once he had finished reading the essay to take the bait.
-I don't know what you`re talking about, she said, smiling with relief because at least for now, Lupin seemed to be enjoying himself.
-Suuuree...he mumbled, and looked back down at the essay. After a moment, he continued reading.
Candidate 2. According to Professor Lupin, Hermione Granger should date:
Harry Potter...also called the chosen one, the golden boy, etc.
-This should be interesting, Lupin said, gnawing on his bottom lip. She wished he would stop, because it made them look all too kissable.
I love Harry, but only as a brother. I like hanging out with him, and I always feel comfortable around him. That being said, we would not fit together romantically. First off, he plays Quidditch. As stated, I hate Quidditch, and all sport for that matter. Secondly, too much of his time is spend thinking about, talking about, and training for Quidditch. He is quite frankly obsessed with it. Harry as a person has good values, but I don't like his thirst for always being the best...nor do I like his heroism that comes out whenever danger lurks around. He has too much faith in himself, and he often makes stupid or dangerous decision because he doesn't stop to think...something that both annoys and worries the hell out of me. Harry, while he is mostly calm like me, can throw temper tantrums like no other...and I don't like the person he becomes when he is screaming...he is...just to angry, even without the horocrux. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone whose so close to verbal abuse when he is angry. I also don't like how, when me, Ron and him has a big fight, he either doesn't stick with either of us, or sticks with Ron. That hurts like hell every time.
I also think that Luna and him are a good match, because she has a different calm than either of us and I think he needs that. He needs to lean into spirituality more, and it needs to be taught by her, not by me who quickly gets hurt and upset when he doesn't get it, but by someone like her who never seems to be offended by anyone's honest questions like I do...quite often. Another thing that would be problematic is Harry's fame, and the person I've seen him become in his darkest moment...a sponge for all the attention to the point of neglecting his friends. I also have had a fair share of being in the Daily Prophet, thanks to Rita skeeter, and that has taught me that I want as little to do with fame as possible. I don't want my life and private matters splashed all over the paper. Excuse me for liking my privacy.
Harry is a good friend though. He listens to me and understands my logical thinking. He also sometimes comes and hangs out with me in the library...which I appreciate even if it distracts me from my schoolwork. He worries about me when I'm sick and is always on my side if I get in trouble with someone, like Draco, for example, but other students too. He writes to me during summer break, despite probably being overwhelmed with the essay-worthy letters I send him, but he is kind about it and never complains. He knows I need someone to talk to about wizarding stuff when I'm back in the muggle world, and he is my only friend except for professor Lupin. He sometimes asks me if I can't help with his homework, but he is never rude about it like Ron and if I say no, he is respective of that.
When it comes to his physical appearance, I have to say I like his hair...but only in the sense of being the perfect length, and messy, just like Harry himself. I don't know, it just fits his personality somehow...Oh, and, and about his blue shirts...I know some girls, the few ones that aren't under the charm of the ”chosen one”, has been whispering about how he never changes his shirt...little do they know he has about five, identical ones that he goes through during the evenings and the weekends when we are allowed to wear muggle clothes. I don't know what else to say about his clothing style...he looks like most young men in the muggle world, which doesn't say very much. He just looks...normal. Though not being interested in Harry romantically, and him not having any annoying ticks like for example, Ron...I do quite like it when he wears muggle clothes, as it reminds me that we both grew up without magic and that he can relate to me in a way most other students here at Hogwarts cant.
Disturbing facts about Harry:
After studying him for weeks, I gave up trying to find anything...which is a good sign.
Conclusion, compatibility...platonic: 90%.
Romantic combability: 0%
-This one was fairly expected. No real surprises...
She nodded.
-I guess so.
Candidate 3. According to Professor Lupin, Hermione Granger should date:
Neville Longbottom, also called...?
-Ahh....poor Neville...I can already tell he isn't going to be a good match, if the previous ones are anything to go by.
-Well, apparently you thought he would when you mentioned him before, so....
Lupin just grunted.
Here, we will go straight to the point. Neville is not a romantic potential partner for me. First off, he is...simply Neville. Really, that's the kindest way to describe him. He is bland, doesn't stand out, always does everything by the book, which can be boring but also speaks of fear of authority in his case, rather than respect which is the reason that I value. He dresses like everyone else and doesn't try to change his clothes to somehow show his personality like many other students does. He doesn't do well in class, and academic achievement and ambition is important traits to me. He does kind of okay theoretically, but practically, he is a disaster. He is somewhat clumsy, a trait I will never find endearing. He is shy and timid, and has a hard time really expressing any other emotion than calmness, mild anxiety, and sadness. He has no confidence whatsoever with girls, and he is not the protective kind in terms of, ex, protecting his girlfriend against death eaters with the kind of SELF-CONFIDENCE needed both for your own sake, and to intimidate your opponent. He isn't skilled with his wand, and often messes up spells or gets injured somehow because he does things the wrong way...sometimes mistakes anyone could've done, but sometimes it's things that makes you shake your head and feel pity for him at the same time as you wonder how the hell he can be so stupid. He is too much of a nerd when it comes to, maybe one of the few subjects I don't give a shit about, which is water plants. Water plants from all over the world. We would never be able to have real conversations about anything else academically without me feeling like I'm explaining things to a toddler. Speaking of toddlers, having a small child near Neville wouldn't be safe if he doesn't start practicing his skills because if a spell or charm goes wrong, the baby could be hurt. All of that being said, he does wear jumpers though, but instead of looking hot in them, he looks like a lost kid wearing is grandmas old hand me down that's been magically dyed into “boy colours”. However, his hair...it's way too short! He did have a bit longer hair in our fourth-year, to the point of almost being kind of good looking if he could just develop his personality a bit more...but since then he has ruined his looks by, for some time, using way too much hair Gele to the point of looking like someone from a sleazy boyband, and after that, cutting it really, really short.
Disturbing facts about Neville:
1: The fact that he always ends up losing his toad, which always ends up lending him in tons of trouble!
2: The fact that he almost blindly believes anything his grandmother says, even when what she says sounds completely insane.
- The fact that his boggart is, or at least, was Snape...I always used to worry how he would be able to survive the war when the worst thing imageable for him was Snape scolding him. War isn't for the fearful or weak of mind.
- The fact that he seriously believes he will die before nightfall if he doesn't stir his breakfast porridge clockwise, twice, every morning is beyond me. Don't even ask, it's something he briefly mentioned his grandma used to say when he was younger. I asked him what would happen if he just didn't have porridge for breakfast, and he stared at me as if I was mentally insane. That was four years ago, and it's the only time Neville and I has ever eaten breakfast together...aka, he makes a point of never sitting anywhere near me during breakfast. We do eat lunch together sometimes, though...with Harry and Ron.
- He is obsessed with saving the planet to the point of wearing clothes two sizes two small, sometimes with holes in them, and claim that he doesn't freeze during the winter despite walking around the school looking like a popsicle...yet, he gets offended and makes a point of avoiding you until springtime if you dare ask if he wants some help casting heating spells so he don't have to be freezing all of the time.
- Harry claims that he sometimes can't sleep because Neville is rambling about water plants and their different, Latin names and classifications in his sleep like he is a walking encyclopaedia. I would love an encyclopaedia boyfriend...but, please...anything other than just water plants!
Conclusion, platonic compatibility; 12% (because he is kind in nature and never too busy if someone wants to talk or ask something)
Romantic compatibility; 0%
-It's a good thing he will never see this...it would break his self-confidence.
-I refuse to feel ashamed.
He looked at her then, smiling softly. That smile that made her feel all goofy inside and as a result of that, should be made illegal by the Ministry.
-I never said you should. This essay...is the best thing ever. It's horrible, and so entertaining at the same time...and it does convey a strong message.
-Just wait, it gets better...and stop raising your eyebrows at me all of the time...it's annoying.
Lupin just winked at her, and continued reading.
Candidate 4. According to professor Lupin, Hermione Granger should date:
Bill Weasley,
If anything, I look at Bill as nothing but a brother figure, not to me, but in general. He is a few years older than me, but he isn't a friend or love interest, and he isn't old enough to be view as an uncle- figure by me, so yeah, big brother is what he is. I would say that he is the most responsible Weasley son, which to be fair is a personality trait that I love. However, there is just something about him...in a way, he almost feels like an extension of Arthur in the sense that, whenever we were younger and Ron refused to tell his parents something because he didn't want Molly scolding him, we ran to Bill instead. And though I generally feel attracted to authority, I've never felt any attraction or curiosity when it comes to Bill. He has just always been around, standing on the sideline, and that has been that. So yeah, I don't really have much to say about him other than that he is the most well represented of the Weasleys in the way he dressed and speaks. He is also very brave, meaning that if there is danger he is ready to fight it along with his father to protect his younger siblings in a way the other sons doesn't really protect each other.
Physical appearance: though he has kind of an old-fashioned style going on, his way of dressing never pulled my curiosity, nor have I ever seen it as attractive. Someone might argue that he dresses kind of similarly to Professor Lupin...but I disagree. Sure, he often wears vests, and he does have a brown jacket although it's not a tweed one, and it has no patches...but I asked Molly once, if his clothes are from a wizarding brand, and she looked at me with big eyes, and said that yes, of course...
That, whereas Lupin exclusively wears muggle clothes because that`s what he grew up in, with the one exception of his old school uniform. Lupin`s way of dressing also has a different feel to it than Bill`s...because while Bill's clothes, though not the most expensive ones, aren't that old, and made of higher quality fabric...Lupin`s are at least ten years old, maybe more, and was on sale when he bought them because no one else wanted such basic clothes.
There is also, and I know this is biased, but, Lupin`s clothes fit his personality so seamlessly that they`ve become a part of him. If I look at Bill, on the other hand, all I see is a clothed guy...the clothes he wears just aren't a part of him in the same way, which takes away from his looks.
Disturbing facts about Bill: I've heard that his favourite Bertie Bean is the one tasting of earwax. How disgusting isn't that? Imagine what other food he likes. Ron said that when he was little, Bill used to eat his own earwax because he thought his ear was growing candy...and that, when he could, he tried to stick his fingers in Rons ears to get some of his too...I don't know if any of it is true, or if Ron was just being mean because of something Bill had said about his flying abilities.
Conclusion, platonic compatibility...unexplored, but probably around 7%.
Romantic compatibility: 0%
-Yeah...that's disturbing. If I remember it correctly, I ate one of those earwax beans once, and I vomited right afterwards.
-You did?
-Yeah...well, at least Sirius said it was the earwax one, but I didn't check so he could've just been messing with me. Maybe it was the bean, maybe it was just the aftereffect of the full moon that had me vomiting, who knows.
-Whose next...ah, another Weasley...how unpredictable...
-Well, shouldn't you know. It's the names you gave me.
-Please stop remembering me of that, I know it will only grow more disturbing as we move along.
Candidate 5. According to professor Lupin, Hermione Granger should date:
Charlie Weasley...
Now, I've only met Charlie a few times, and I haven't really spoken to him at all...but, he seems like the average Weasley to me. Most of what I know, I've only heard from Ron the few times he mentions "His cousin Charlie in Romania". Clearly, the guy is obsessed with dragons and training them, just as obsessed as Ron is with Quidditch. Personally, I have no interest in Dragons, despite me having an interest in magical creatures. I don't know why. Maybe it's because dragons are so common in muggle books that I think I've already seen enough of them, or maybe, I just don't like the hysteria about dragons being so cool, as everybody always claims.
With Charlie being gone for years in Romania, only ever coming home if something major happens, a relationship with him also wouldn't be practical. As stated earlier, I do not wish to move from Britain. Also, going back to the dragons again, I can clearly see the heroic picture of a brave guy who fearlessly handless dragons and is smooth with the ladies as the stereotypical fantasy for any girl having a crush or interest in him, and it's a picture that makes me nauseous, simply because I can easily see through personalities like that and more often than not, they are kind of rotten underneath. Again, I have no interest in men who are too confident in themselves, nor do I like men who thinks to highly of themselves because they are good at something that takes a lot of physical strength/ violence/ brutality. And again, with a Weasley candidate. Is this the right time to mention that I don't fancy red/ orange hair? It looks like Crookshanks fur, and I could never take a guy that looks like my cat seriously. Maybe that's why Ron always calls me bossy, because I see his red hair and automatically imagine Crookshanks having an attitude and hissing at me.
Anyways, when it comes to how he dresses...I actually don't remember what he wore the one time I meet him, so I can't really say anything about that. His hair is way too long though...that's the thing I remember about his looks. Oh, yes, and he had some Latin quote or another tattooed on the side of his neck, but I wasn't interested in it, so I didn't ask him about what it meant, nor did I bother to look when he showed Ginny. I don't get why everyone seems to love tattoos so much, personally, I think they look ugly. I also can't imagine why someone would ever want to put themselves through the pain of getting one, but what do I know...maybe it's different with wizarding tattoos. Still, I wouldn't like them and wouldn't want my boyfriend to have any.
Disturbing fact about Charlie: There was a rumour going around in fourth- year, that he had a girlfriend back in Romania that he had convinced to wear a dragon cosplay costume because, apparently, his love for dragons goes all the way into the bedroom.
-He literary has a dragon fetish?!
-It seems like it.
-Wow...that was unexpected, to say the least.
-Yeah...Can you see now why I don't want to date him? I mean, I would mind dating a magical creature, but to pretend to be one because your boyfriend has a fetish about the creatures he works with, that's...kind of disgusting.
Conclusion: platonic compatibility: 0%
Romantic compatibility: -50% (I would never wear a dragon costume).
-More Weasleys....is it only me or do they seem endless?
-Oh, it's not only you, its everyone. Sometimes it seems like half the British population is a redhead, or at least the Hogwarts one. I haven't really been to Diagon Alley since the war, so I wouldn't really now.
-When I get my salary next month, I take you there, and we can go to the bookstore. Maybe, if it's a warm day, we can have some ice cream at the Florean Fortescue's too.
-I'd love that! Thank you!
He just smiled and refocused his attention back on the essay.
-Chocolate! She yelled right as he was about to start reading again.
-Fuck you!
She gave him an innocent look.
-But okay...then I will have...Caramel toffee, and Vanilla.
She nodded.
-Good choices.
-One to speak, are you? He teased.
-Yes, she stated, proud of herself for robbing him off the opportunity to get his favourite ice cream flavour. It was all in good humour though, and she knew that one way or another, she would make sure he was the one who ended up with the chocolate ice cream. Maybe she should be worried about his severe addiction to everything chocolate, but that was a worry for another day.
Candidate 6. According to Professor Lupin, Hermione Granger should date:
Fred and George.
First off, Hermione Granger does not do poly- relationships, or sexual situations. Fred AND George are therefor, per technicality, not a match.
-You don't?
She just stared at him, feeling offended beyond proportions.
He smirked.
-Good, because I'm not sharing either.
Her heart fluttered.
-You better not.
On a serious note though; Fred and George, also called Forge and Gerd.
To begin with, I know the whole student body adores the twins. But, I don't like their pranks. I think that too often, they boarder on mean, or even cruel...and I don't think such activities such be encouraged. So, add their love for mean pranks, with their over-confidence, mischief, rule breaking, and their way of always trying to be smooth with the ladies, and of course, the teachers...and you get the exact personality I don't like in guys. Their popularity would also be a problem, as I do not want to a public figure, and what I also don't want is to be their test bunny for their mean pranks. Do one prank on me, and I cry. Let's say that a relationship between me and either of them wouldn't last more than an hour. Another thing I don't like is how they, being pranksters, can never take anything seriously...I need a boyfriend to who I can rant, from whom I can get advice, and who never tries to downplay any struggle I'm going through... And my view of them isn't helped by their silly, stupid way of saying a few words each in every sentence. It annoys the fuck out of me every time they do it. I'm also a jealous person by nature, and I would be miserable in a relationship where I am not my boyfriend's favourite person, but his twin. I`d also be slightly weirded out, I think, by the whole twin thing. It's also a bit creepy...but only muggleborns who likes movies would know why. Note: I don't, but one night it was on Tv and a saw a scary scene by mistake when I was flipping channels.
-Yeah...I've seen some of their pranks, too...obviously not as many as you, but I agree. Some of them were downright cruel. It's sad how sometimes people are so blinded by the funny side of something that they can't see the traumatising effect it has on the person, or someone other than the main or intended victim of the prank. And I'm not just talking about what Sirius did to me and Severus, I'm talking generally too.
A moment passed by in silence.
Disturbing facts about Fred:
1: Once, he pulled a prank of Filch. He pretended to give him a little bag of sweets from their store in Diagon Alley, as a thank you for being a good janitor and always making sure to put Umbridge's new rules on the walls so everyone knew what rules were in place. He then proceeded with telling him that he was proud of Mrs Norris for also taking her Job seriously. Did you know what Filch did? He cried because for once a student was complementing him. Later when he ate the candy, he ended up in the hospital wing with three weeks long cold that caused him to sneeze and vomit whenever he was within touching distance of Mrs Norris. Now, Filch might be cruel, and he always assisted Umbridge with glee...but I don't think he deserved that. At the end of the day, the reason why he is always so angry with everyone is because I assume, he wished he was a wizard...I can't imagine what it's like for him, being around magical people all day, every day, year after year, knowing that you`d never really be one of them no matter if they like you or not because you simply weren't born with magical powers.
-Yeah...that's a really cruel prank.
-Would the Marauders ever had done it? I know you`ve done some very...questionable things yourselves...but what about that one?
-Sirius would, if he was feeling petty.
She snorted.
-Isn't he always?
-Indeed. James...maybe, but only if Filch had done something really unfair. I wouldn't, though. Not on my own, at least. And if I found out that the others had planned something like that, I would've tried to stop them. I've might've not succeeded though...you think Fred and George are bed, well, the Marauders were a force to be reckoned with, once we had set our mind to something...and more often, it was the three of them, against me who tried to stop them. Let`s just say that I was at a disadvantage most of the time.
She grimaced.
-Yeah, I can imagine.
-You know, I don't just feel sorry for Filch... I feel sorry for Mrs Norris too... I mean, she would've had no idea why Filch suddenly stopped being affectionate with her, or didn't let her do hallway duties for three weeks.
-Meow...
-Yeah, you feel sorry for her too, don't you?
Crookshanks only wiggled his tail over the floor in answer.
2; He always makes it his mission to cheat on exams, just to see if he can get away with it.
3: He once sent a fake howler from Molly to Ron. Not that he didn't deserve it, but still...it's the principle.
- His bedroom at the burrow is covered in magazines of naked women taped to the walls like a layer of wallpaper. I've saw them through the door once when Ron sneaked in to steal some of his and George's candy.
- It might just be a rumour, but he has tattoo on his back that reads “school is for losers, pranks are for the cool”. I hate tattoos with a passion.
Disturbing facts about George:
1; He is a year older than me but can't even tie his own shoelaces by hand. You would think he isn't a twenty-four-year-old guy but a teenager.
2; He has an alcohol addiction after drinking too much Firewiskey after Fred almost died in the war.
- He never eats creme fraiche to crisps, and he has said himself only weak people needs creme fraiche...which means I would think off that comment every time I ate crisps, whether he buys me creme fraiche or not.
- He never showers after Quidditch practice, according to Harry.
- He once put something in my food that made my voice sound exactly like that annoying cartoon character on muggle Tv! My voice didn't change back until after Snape had given me a detention for trying to be funny, “speaking like I literary had something up my ass” when he asked me about some potion ingredients in class.
Conclusion, the whole Weasley family equals a 0% romantic combability with Hermione Granger.
Also, Fred and George, platonic compatibility; -150%
-Okay, so now who do we have...?
-Not a Weasley?
He laughed.
Candidate 7, According to professor Lupin, Hermione Granger should date:
Viktor Krum...or "any of his friends", end quote, professor Lupin.
Let me set things straight. Rita Skeeters articles in the Daily Prophet was lies...all lies. Yes, I went to the Yule Ball with Viktor Krum, because he was the only one who had asked me, and I had no one to ask myself as Harry was already taken. Yes, I did have fun on the Yule Ball. Yes, I spent some time simply hanging out with Viktor.
No, I didn't and haven't ever reached out to him since. He wanted me to write, and for me to visit him in Bulgaria, but I never did because I knew as soon as I meet him for the first time that we weren't and would never be compatible.
First off, look at his hair. He barely has any! Haven't I ever told you how much I hate, hate buzzcuts? Well, I do. Then, I don't like the fact that his clothes are made of animal skin and fur, which means animals has been killed. I do not support that. Thirdly, his gaze is too... intense. Its dark, and its bore into you. It's never gentle in the way most peoples are. Having grown up in the wizarding world, he knows absolutely nothing about the muggle world, and all my references were completely lost to him. The language barrier also didn't help much...nor did his irritating personality trait of almost never saying a single word. I didn't like the way he studied me while I studied. It felt to intrusive, but also as if I was just a pretty girl to him, and not someone he wanted to get to know. He didn't study with me. He didn't ask about or tease me about them, which would at least shown some recognition of what I was doing. He was just there. He hugged me, as he left Hogwarts, and it didn't feel good, just strange, like I was hugging someone I had never meant ant wasn't supposed to touch in any way. Speaking of his friends, as you called them, they were all more animated than him, and seemed to speak a lot...but from what I saw, they treated their dates with a kind or royal air to it that didn't sit right with me, being a feminist and all. Now, I don't want to speak bad of other cultures, so let's just say that that way of living isn't for me. I like chivalry, but there can't be too much or intense or it makes me uncomfortable and makes it feel like the person isn't genuine in their affection. Also, speaking of practical things...I don't want a long-distance relationship, and I want to live here in Britain, so him living so far away would be an obstacle for me. Also, I didn't like how jealous every other girl became or me just because I was his date to the ball...their angry glances and whisperers eat at my self-confidence and self-love for a long time afterward. And no, professor Lupin is not allowed to feel pity for me. Thats not why I wrote this.
Disturbing facts about Krum:
- He can't drink Butterbeer without splashing it everywhere because its tradition...unless he is wearing his beloved jacket...then he gets upset if anyone even comes near him with an opened bottle.
- Well, this might not be disturbing in itself, but dragons are not an interest of mine, and I got the expression that he is fascinated with them...at least the ones that blows fire or has paws that leaves burn marks on the ground when they walk...(I studied them to make sure Harry wouldn't do something stupid and get himself killed in the Triwizard tournament. He would've been dead if he didn't follow my advice).
- There is a rumour among his group of brainless fangirls who followed him like a herd of sheep around the lake every morning as he ran, and you could hear them giggling form miles away...anyway, rumour has it that he has tattoos all over his chest...thankfully, I never had to find out if it was true or not.
- He has a sound he makes every time he is annoyed with you, like a cough at the back of his throat, but his mouth remains closed, and his face tells you nothing. Thats almost the extent of his communication...unless he is asking your best friend if you are a couple instead of asking YOU...because of course, he is supposed to ask another man if the person he is interested in is available. She can't answer that for herself.
- He doesn't like the colour pink. At the Yule Ball, he gave me the pink pastry without asking which one I wanted, simply assuming Id wanted the “girly one”....I hate when guys make wrongful and sexist presumptions like that...although, I admit that I'm not easy to please, as I always gets just as upset by the other students assumptions that, because I'm not like Parvati or Lavender, pink can't be my favourite colour. To add to my earlier statement that he himself doesn't like pink, or at least doesn't want it to crack his masculinity, I tried handing him a pink pastry, playfully demanding that he ate it, and first he grimaced, then he glared at me...and then he left me alone for fifteen minutes to chat with his friends.
-Hermione, that is not your fault. Sure, you might've intentionally poked a bear, but that doesn't mean you deserved him to treat you like that over something as silly as a pink pastry...especially not at the Yule Ball. How...how fucking mature of him.
-Well, he treated me “better” than Ron, if that`s makes you feel any better.
He groaned.
-The fuck it does.
-Meow...meow...
-I know, sorry Crookshanks. No swearing. But seriously, has my memory gone foggy over the years, or why does all the guys your age that's hanging around seem so...immature?
She bit her bottom lip, and he glanced at it for a moment before looking back down at the essay.
-Have you ever wondered, Remus, that maybe...it's just you that`s always been so mature?
-Yeah...but then I would've remembered what losers' young men can be...well, any man, but young ones in particular. And I do...I just don't know why I thought it would be any different these days then when I was in school.
-I only have one word for you.
He waited.
-Trauma-response.
- Psychoanalyzing me too now, are we...besides, that's two words, love.
-No, it isn't. It's spelled with a -
-No, it's only you who spells it like that.
-If I'm the only one, which technically means I'm doing it wrong...then how come you never mark my spelling mistakes in my essays?
-But I...
She shook her head.
-You don't, and you can't pretend like you do, because we both know you don't.
He grunted.
-Well, go ahead then...mark the spelling mistake now, I dare you.
-I can't. The word isn't even in here.
-How would you know; you haven't finished it yet.
-Exactly, that's my main priority. Finishing the essay.
-Yeah...and they we are going to have a wonderful dinner, and days will turn into months and years, and you will always claim that you just keep forgetting to grammar check me.
-Well, don't be so hard on your professor. He`s and old man, you know.
-Not too old.
-Mmhh. Anyways, Krum doesn't seem...
He paused, face stuck in a grimace as he searched for the right words.
-Not like my type...well, his in the essay because you suggested him.
He rubbed his forehead, and sneezed when some glitter fell down over his nose. He grumbled something under his breath, but she couldn't hear it.
-I'm starting to think that I did a mistake when I told you should date other people...
-I'm glad you had fun, though...at the Yule Ball I mean. Id meant to say it years ago, but...You know, I was feeling jealous and didn't really know how to handle it, so I thought it would be safer not to say anything about the ball at all...especially when our situation was already so complicated.
-I wanted it to be you.
-Uh?
-My date...to the ball.
-But you had left the school, and I didn't know where you were and...Well, I knew we couldn't attend together because people would SEE us together. It also would've never been allowed, because you weren't a student or a guest student for the tournament.
-That...thank you, Hermione. That means very much to me, knowing that you would've wanted me to be your date.
They gazed at each other for a few moments before Lupin cleared his throat and continued reading.
-You, uhm, looked very beautiful in your ballgown, by the way...I saw the pictures in the Prophet...and... and you look very beautiful tonight, too. Anyways Candidate 8....
Candidate 8, According to professor Lupin, Hermione Granger should date:
Sirius Black, also called, snuffles, padfoot, "Black"
I don't know why you even suggested this, because it's disgusting. Sure, I like Sirius...but he has always been off limits to me, being Professor Lupins best friend, and before that, an assumed mass murderer. That being said, I still would not be interested in Sirius should the aforementioned not be the case, and here is why:
To many, a young Sirius black might seem like the dream guy...the dream boyfriend. But, being as intelligent and perceptive as I am, I've always seen through that, and there are few things I hate more in this world, except for death eaters, than the loud, overly confident, overly cooky, self-loving, self-obsessed guy that Sirius must've been in his youth according to all the stories from your youths that I've heard. Some might say he was loyal to the Marauders, and yes he was...when it gained him. When it did gain him, he was loyal to the point of obsession, and of never letting anything, no matter how big or small, go without seeking revenge in the most humiliating way possible. And, when loyalty didn't gain him, he threatened to expose other secrets for the same sake, revenge on someone he simply didn't like. He is lucky no one died. To put your people's life on the line for a stupid prank is the one of the dumbest things imaginable, and it does not sit well with me. Also, let's talk about his hair...just like I hate buzzcuts, I hate when a guy's hair is too long...and young Sirius looks like a washed up, broke, electric guitar guy. Not exactly the type of person you would want to walk around with in public. To some, he might look like a rockstar...but to me he looks homeless.
In present time, I actually like Sirius...but as a kind of a mentally disturbed uncle, not a romantic interest. First off, I don't like how cynical Azkaban has made him, nor the way in which he sneaks subtle, but none the less cruel comments at the people around him. It's like he thinks no one else knows pain because they haven't been to Azkaban like him. Thats wrong. And then, there is Harry. I think it's disturbing to see how he thinks and treats Harry like he was James. He is trying so hard to be the cool uncle and not a responsible one, but fails, and the result is pathetic. Why can't he just let Harry be Harry and treat him like his own person...why is he so obsessed with the "IM HIS GODFATHER; I KNOW HIM BETTER THAN ANYONE", when he barely knows him at all, and much less than anyone else?
It's also weirding me the fuck out that he can literary transform into a fucking dog, of all things...and please, when is he going to actually wash the furry thing with some SHAMPOO???? He smells, and I think he has scab or something. It isn't public knowledge, but I'm actually kind of afraid of dogs to the point of freezing and inwardly freaking out whenever they try to touch me, which is why I always keep a safe distance from padfoot. Do you think he would be offended if I gifted him some dog-shampoo for his birthday?
-Please do that...if you don't, I will! Its brilliant...and yeah, he does stink. Of course, he is going to be offended...that was Sirius is all about, being offended, no matter by whom or why. I just need to make sure that I have my camera with me when he opens the gift.
-Once a Marauder, always a Marauder, uh?
Lupin just smirked.
While his clothes are old-fashioned, because they are old...they arent his, but his fathers old clothes, which is disturbing on its own, at least they were when he was practically looked in at Grimmauld until his innocence was finally proven a few months ago, his clothes up until that point spoke, even without the family heritage, way too loudly of pureblood supremacy...and it had me thinking about it almost every time I looked at him, something that would've been a problem in a relationship. And while he no longer wears those clothes, he doesn't dress much better now either...rather than wearing traditional wizarding robes, he now wears cheap muggle clothes in an attempt to rebel against his dead family and integrate more than he was ever allowed to as a child with the muggle-world. With his skin jacket, boots, and jeans, he looks like your ordinary muggle guy...or scratch, your originally, scumbag muggle guy who hangs out in bars every night, has an alcohol addiction, and never takes life seriously anymore because why do that when you could be having fun instead. Sirius. in. a. nutshell. And, no... it's not attractive in the slightest. It the total opposite. At least he doesn't have any tattoos, at least none that he wanted to show Harry when he asked him on my behalf. I lied and said I was simply curios, as he doesn't know about us yet.
Disturbing fact about Sirius Black...
-If you've found out something about him that I don't know, then...
-Okay...you know how Sirius doesn't like Kreacher?
-Everyone who knows him does, so yes...?
-Well, we know that he still generally like house elves, and that he has no real bias towards them, right?
-Yes...
-But, did you know that he has a red pair of Christmas boxers with small carton drawn house elves shouting happy Christmas all over them?
She grinned. He looked so lost for words, like a little boy. Unlike Draco, he looked 100% cute, something Draco never did achieve...despite all that baby fat, all the bigotry radiating off of him had prevented her from ever thinking of him as cute.
-Is this true!?
-According to research, it is. Its right there in the essay...by your thumb.
-Fucking hell.... he's never told me about this!
-Well, to be fair to him, when should he have brough it up?
-You do have a point; I admit that but.... Hermione...how did you know this? Did you sneak into his bedroom or something and go through his drawer?
The seriousness in his voice told her what it was he really wanted to know but was too afraid, or ashamed, to ask her.
She stared him down.
-Stop thinking it, right now. Like I've already said in the essay, ITS DISGUSTING, okay?
He nodded slowly.
-I just wanted to make sure. I don't...I just don't want you to have been hurt to make this essay for me.
-Oh, Remus...I didn't, I swear. I actually found them laying on the hallway floor...At first thought, I assumed they were Harrys or Rons, being all cartoony...but well, they were to big I think, so I walked downstairs and peaked into the kitchen where Harry and Sirius were playing a game of cards...and just, told them that someone had dropped something very red in the hallway. Sirius flew up from the table...
-Wait, you just said he wore his father's old clothes...does that mean that the boxers too were...?
She broke down laughing.
-That would've been something, wouldn't it?...Sirius father wearing cartoony house elf boxers. A man who hated house elves, and probably Christmas too, simply because he didn't want any happiness in his house.
-Eww, no! They would've been so old! She cried, trying to regain her breath.
Lupin to laughed. Once they`d calmed down, he picked up where he had left of.
and looked like he wanted to die. He ran past me and shouted at Harry that he would be back. In that moment, I think I was as embarrassed as Sirius...I mean, I would've pretended that I hadn't seen anything and wait for whomever had dropped them to pick them up, but Molly was going to come back from the grocery store at any moment, and I didn't want to risk her scolding all of us for making the house messy after she had just cleaned it and done the laundry...
-That sounds hilarious...How come I don't remember this? Was I gone on a mission?
-No, it...it was the full moon.
She knew the sadness she felt at having to answer was reflected in her yes.
-Oh, was all he said.
-Yeah...I remember it being a full moon because I had been sad all day that you were gone and that you were to be in so much pain, and all alone. Also, if you were there, I would've remembered that because I always know whether you are around or not. My memory wouldn't just leave you out.
Lupin looked back down at her essay. Topic closed.
Conclusion, platonic compatibility: 30%.
Romantic compatibility: -5000% (He is professor Lupins best friend. That eliminates any good or positive traits).
-Is it wrong that I'm relieved? I've might've said his name, but...to be honest I...I... I would be heartbroken if you and him...if you were together.
-I know, Remus I know.
He didn't say anything for a moment.
-I don't love him, Remus. Or any of them. Thats the whole point of this essay.
-I know, I know...I just suddenly came to think of what would've happened if you would've gone to school with us in the 70s.
-I know you didn't skip the part where I described young Sirius.
He chuckled, but it was a sad one.
-No...
They sat in silence for a moment.
-You know, speaking of Sirius...there are people who think you would look cute together.
-Together?
He sounded beyond confused by her statement.
-Yeah, I've heard people talk about whether or not you were ever a couple...and if you`re having a secret affair in the present time.
Lupins eyes almost bugged out of his head.
-I...what!? Me and...Sirius?
She shrugged.
-Well...?
-Thats the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life...I can't even imagine...
He shook his head, clearly still bewildered by her words.
-Thats...
-Disgusting? She offered, and he nodded.
-At the very least...who the hell did even think that? Me and Sirius...neither of us is even gay, so I have absolutely no idea where they`d got such an idea from. It's like comparing me and my BEST FRIEND, sorry, best male friend...you are my best friend, to...I don't know...Arthur and Snape? As in a romantic couple?
She choked...on thin air...and he had to pat her back repeatedly and hold her hand until she could breathe properly again.
-That...would be so cringe.
-I know.
-Let's move on before we start questioning whether Voldemort had... I don't know, a pink hairbrush or something...well, before he lost all his hair. Then he wouldn't had needed one.
-Yeah, lets continue with the essay. We don't want the food to get cold.
Leaning back against the desk again, he made himself comfortable in the same position as before. Picking up her essay, he stared down at it for a few moments without reading.
-I don't know, sometimes I just feel like I'm not enough for you...no matter in comparison to which of those guys. But let's not talk about that now, we are supposed to be enjoying ourselves tonight, not throw a pity party for me.
-Let me just say that, the same thing would've happened then as happened....
-Uh?
-If I went to school with you and your friends...
-Ah, yes...
-...in my third year. I would've seen you, and that would've been that. Well...to be perfectly honest, you were a little bit more...scrawny back in your youth- youth...So, could I've gotten the Remus from the Order photo...please?
She gave him the puppy eyes again.
His sadness slowly melted away as he studied her.
-You think I look handsome in that? That jumper is the ugliest I've ever had.
-You do, look very handsome. More than anyone else in the photo.
-Hmmm, you think so? There was that intensity in his eyes again, and her cheeks flushed.
-Now you just want me to feed your ego, she said, trying to ignore that he was making her all hot and bothered. She both loved and hated the feeling, loved it because it felt good and hated it because she knew he could always tell, no matter how nonchalant she tried to act to save her own face.
-Don't forget that it's you who are supposed to feed me food, as I'm sacrificing a dinner in the Great Hall with hormonal teenagers slipping each other love potions and snogging between bites of pink dyed food while Snapes fights the need to vomit at the display of happy people.
He laughed until he was shaking. Then she lightly tapped him with her foot.
-Read.
-Yes, professor, he mimicked in a whiny, female voice.
-I do not sound like that.
He smirked.
-I do not!
-Sure, Hermione.
-You`re mean.
-Say that again after you`ve tasted the cake, and I might believe you.
She looked at the small chocolate cake. The candlelight fell softly over it. He had set the table, well, his desk, with so much care.
-Tut, tut...essay first, then cake.
She looked back at Lupin, one side of his face more lit, the other draped in thicker shadows as the candlelight grew weaker the further away one was from where they stood in the middle of the desk.
-I'm not actually a pet, you know.
-Maybe not, but it's still my duty to take care of you, like people do with what belongs to them.
With what belongs to them. With what belongs to them.
Sometimes she wondered if he was actually real, or maybe she had hit her head when the dementor had broken into the train compartment. Maybe she has just imagined him all along.
Candidate 9; According to professor Lupin, Hermione Granger should date:
Draco Malfoy...also called Slytherin king, and Malfoy, and pathetic little chicken.
I'm going to be honest here. I'd rather eat snails than ever, ever say or do anything Draco or anyone else could perceive as flirtatious towards him. Not only is he a bully, he is the worst kind of bully that always strives to hit you where it hurts the most. It's common knowledge that no one would ever live something like that down, and it would have to be written into a newly published batch of Hogwarts, a history...” The day Hermione Granger embarrassed herself in front of Draco Malfoy, and became his forever favourite subject of extensive bullying”. Jokes aside, he is a complete jerk. Not only is he arrogant, overly confident, cocky and has an air of superiority that burns your nose, he also has no respect for anyone who he deems to be beneath him.
Reasons why Malfoy thinks someone is beneath him, and deserves being bullied, ignored, kicked out of Hogwarts, or sent to rot in Azkaban:
-They are halfbreeds, muggleborns, or magical creatures (including Werewolves, House elves, etc).
-They fail in class, he thinks they are an easy target
-They succeed in class, unlike Draco
-They arent born into wealth, or doesn't have one (the reason doesn't matter)
-He thinks their teaching is pathetic, not exciting enough, or doesn't teach him dark magic like the unforgivable curses.
-Someone sticks out...by wearing accessories, by not having any friends, by being too fat, or by not being the walking stereotype of one`s assigned Hogwarts house.
-They are shy and timid, or don't seem confident in themselves. He is also disgusted by people who actually have self-confidence, as he doesn't think they are worthy of thinking any good or high about themselves.
-He shows disturbing interest in cruelty to animals, and thinks nothing about an animal being executed because that's what he himself wants.
Moving on, he plays Quidditch, sometimes plays cruel pranks on or manipulates students with low IQ, or students much younger than him, to do whatever he wants for him. He has no respect for other students right, or the property rights of the School. He severely lacks emotional intelligence, and obviously has some complicated Daddy issues that most certainly will be inherited by any children of his. He thinks he is above school rules, and laws, and even the Ministry because his father is so rich... it makes me want to vomit. In other words, he is a daddy`s golden boy.
In retrospect, I might've not wanted him to become a death eater, which he didn't in the end, but that doesn't mean that I don't judge him for not doing so. I hate people who are all talk and no game, even if I don't agree with them, their personality or their values. On the other hand, I respect people who are confident enough in their own values and what they want in life that they don't chicken out after already creating a reputation for themselves of being someone who wouldn't chicken out. Pathetic little chicken, or more fittingly, pathetic little ferret...that's my new nickname for him since the war ended. It's only fair with all the times he has either sneered or laughed “mudblood!” in my face over the years.
Moving on to his appearance, I don't like how he always dresses in black. He might wear suits often, but, the old school money vibe completely ruins it for me. At times, he has his hair short, almost buzzcut, or at least short enough that it would be no fun running one's fingers through it...there is also something with his face I don't like, but I can never point out what it is. When he was younger, he looked so ridiculously boyish, like a little kid...and the look of dumbstruck child (that's my toy not yours, I'm gonna tell daddy!) didn't fade as we grew up. However, since the war began and sometime before that, his face has lost all childness like, and now, it's too square to hard...somehow, and it reminds me of a famous muggle painting of a horrified man screaming. Draco could pose for the magical version of the famous piece of art. He has to open his mouth in a silent scream, wear his usual black suit...maybe add a cloak, and stare until his eyes almost bugs out of his head. Disturbing image? I agree.
Disturbing facts about Draco.
1: One time when I had a bruise on my face, he said it looked nice on me and said he could give me more, a sneer on his face. Harry would've started a fistfight if Snape hadn't come around the corner and almost walked straight into Ron, causing him to spill all his Bertie Bott`s all over the hallway floor and landing the three of us in detention. On a Sunday.
2: The green apples he always eats is that brand that is so sour you 'want to grimace with every bite. Maybe the reason why he likes them so much is because they match his personality.
3: Again, I hate tattoos. Especially if it's the dark mark.
- Whenever he gets sick, he doesn't just get the “man flue”, no, he gets the “Draco flue”, which leaves him incapable of doing any schoolwork for weeks.
- He once stole a dead ferret from Hagrid's hut, packaged it, and sent it to some poor Ravenclaw guy who fainted in the middle of the hall when he saw what it was.
- He always has this wrinkle between his eyebrows whenever he is about to insult someone, and it drives me nuts. He knows how much I hate it, so he goes out of his way to do it whenever he even glances my way, even the few times when he ends up not saying anything and just walking away instead.
Conclusion; platonic compatibility: -400%...it would've been –500% if I wasn't brave enough to bully the chicken right back.
Romantic compatibility: -100000000000% (Unlike with Snape, I could always bully myself out of the relationship, or bully Draco into doing as I want instead off as he wants).
-In my defence...I had run out of names.
-Mmhhh say that to the essay...
-I'm sorry.
-It's okay.
A moment passed by in silence.
-No, its not...I practically told you to date...a...a pathetic little ferret.
He said it with so much venom, as if he wanted to strangle said ferret.
She shrugged.
-You can't tell me who to date or not date, and besides, we aren't compatible anyways...and I've already accepted your apology. Keep reading so we can eat before it gets cold...I'm really hungry, so you need to feed your pet.
The look on his face told her he wanted to say more about Draco, but had decided to leave it for another day as to not ruin their evening.
Candidate 10; According to professor Lupin, Hermione Granger should date:
Severus Snape...also called, bat, dungeon bat, ugly bat, potions master, death eater, double-agent, vampire...and Snivellus.
Okay, this must be the most unhinged one of your suggestions, aside from Draco. First off, professor Snape is downright cruel, judgmental, verbally abusive, emotionally neglectant, severely traumatised, and filled with bigotry and sexism. He bullies his own students, including name-calling, detention, an unfair distribution of praise and housepaint's, and has threatened bodily harm to students' pets...and he always favours Slytherin house. He never has anything nice to say to anyone, and he always watches people with disapproval, a sneer, or a completely blank face. He has no understanding or patience for students who are struggling. He has no sympathy for the injured, if its people he doesn't like. He never wants to engage himself in any act of kindness if he is not threatened or sugar-coated by Dumbledore first.
He has been a death eater, which means he has experience killing and torturing innocent people, and he has contributed to Voldemort's power over the wizarding and muggle world alike. He would think he is within his rights to be severely, physically abusive, because violence is what he has known for most of his life and he has an unhealthy obsession with violence and ways of harming others.
He never smiles, and never shows anyone affection, neither physically nor mentally. He has called me a lot of names that I do not want to repeat, and he has unfairly punished me more than once. He is cold and distant, and he never says what he thinks. He would never let me debate or argue with him, or complain. He would be abusive from day one in a relationship. He would feel no remorse for breaking up with the person and completely removing himself from their life.
It also not heathy to be in a relationship with someone who still has feelings or a lingering obsession with an ex or former love interest, as he does with Lily. With his tendencies for abuse, the situation can quickly escalate, and the girlfriend can be subject for the hate/ and potential guilt he feels towards himself for finally trying to move on with his life.
He would not be an emotionally stable father, nor a present one who takes part in day-to-day life. He would hide potions in the basement, and dark artifacts. He would never want to be seen in public, especially not in the summer when he wouldn't want to go outside at all, which would probably become an obstacle at some point or another.
He would never understand the concept of aftercare or gentle sex, and he would also suck at throwing parties, complementing others, attending school activities and games, and giving gifts.
Though, I have to admit that despite how awful he is to everyone and everything, I do sometimes feel sorry for him...but only the in the way in which you feel pity for a stray pet, picks it up with GLOVES, and drops it off at the nearest animal shelter and then leaves hoping it will have a good life.
Moving on from personality to physical appearance... I don't like how depressing his clothes are...all black except for small patches of purple. Even his wand is black. It's all very depressing. and our clashing personalities would be highlighted whenever I wear my pink sweater, or like tonight, a pink dress for Valentines.
I have no real opinion about his hair, to be honest, other than that it's an okay length...not to short, not too long... although, it's worth mentioning that I do disagree with Sirius about Snapes hair being greasy. I've only ever seen him with perfectly clean-looking hair. But then again, that could just be a charm or something, I don't know. Or, maybe Sirius is just being biased. It wouldn't surprise if that was the case.
Anyways, there is the obvious, disturbing dark mark tattoo...I don't want to imagine how many times in his life it has come to “good”, use. Also, I while I don't like ordinary tattoos either, having to see the dark mark on your boyfriend's arm whenever you have sex or he sleeps in something short-sleeved, wouldn't be very comforting nor uplifting. The dark mark could, and this goes for Draco too...create a lot of controversy that I wouldn't want to surround myself with should they ever be bare-chested, have their sleeve rolled up, or wear a t-shirt in any public area, or even among friends that fought for the light.
Disturbing facts about Severus:
1: It's been rumoured that he keeps a little bat as his pet somewhere in the dungeons, and that whenever someone like the likes of Lavender is being disrespectful in class and fails to brew the position he then demands that they perfect, he magically sneaks the baby bat into their dormitory and lets it freak them out when they discover it in the middle of the night. When the screaming starts, he magically moves it back to the Dungeons, and when Dumbledore demands answers, he simply says that he knows nothing about it and says he needs his beauty sleep. I mean, he should be allowed to have a pet like anyone else, as long as he can take care of it properly...maybe it will help him with his traumas to have something to take care of... and doesn't keep as a prisoner...but he can't purposely let it scare students. That`s just unethical.
2: One of the Ghosts once told me and Ron that when Severus was a student, he loved listening to hard rock, and his favourite band was...well, I cannot remember the name...but the imagine of a teenage Snape with a band t-shirt and longer hair weirds me out...especially knowing that he went on to study the dark arts in order to join Voldemort. Also, I don't like guys who dreams about playing in a band...if that was ever a dream of his, especially if they are going to wear skin jackets and well, stuff like that...and nose piercings...just no! Still, I will never agree with the other Marauders bullying him. Bullying is wrong.
- As mentioned earlier, his dark mark tattoo.
- 4. I hate the way he always asks questions, and get mad at me for raising my hand. If I'm not allowed to speak without having been given permission, and I can't get his attention
by raising my hand, because if I do either one of those, I'm an attention seeking know-it- all...how am I then supposed to show him that I actually knows the answer? The answer he asked for, and then got upset that no one provided. Seriously. He brought the silence upon himself.
-God, I hate that word...” Know-it-all"...remember, if someone ever says that to you, love, it's not because you are annoying, or because you imply that you are better than anyone else for knowing the answer...even if depending on the person, you are... It's because they are frustrated that they can't get to you...that they can't get the last word and make you feel lesser then.
-I know.
He raised an eyebrow.
-I do know, I promise.
-Good...but I'm going to keep reminding you anyways as long as people keep being twats.
Conclusion; platonic compatibility. -500% (I do respect him though, for working as a double agent for the Order).
Romantic compatibility: -1000000000000000000000000%
-It always amazes me how I think I can't dislike the man more, and then I do.
-I've had the very same experience at least a dozen times, believe me.
-You know, you should really be an author. All those...character studies are so spot on its almost scary. It's like you've gone under their skin...
-Maybe I've just learned Occlumency.
The corner of his mouth twitched, as if he was trying to hide a smirk.
-Oh, believe me, you haven't.
-How do you...
-Love, if you knew what I was thinking, you would've never felt the need to write this essay, and we would be somewhere different right now.... doing something different...
His gaze was so intense and the implication of what they could be doing made her want to squirm in her seat, but she forced herself to sit perfectly still.
Cheek's flushing, she looked away and refused to look at him again until he had started reading again.
-We`ll talk more about him at another day as well, he said quietly. She just nodded.
Additional candidates not provided by professor Lupin but taken into consideration for the sake of the essay:
-Always going above and beyond, that's my little teacher´s pet.
Usually, she hated being called a teacher's pet, but when Lupin said in in his teasing voice, it was with so much warmth and affection that it became an endearment, not an insult. It also made her want to do anything he asked...from helping him with boring day-to-day stuff, to have him spanking her and gently caressing her head, trailing his fingers through her hair, all as a reward for always being at his beck and call...the latter things like she was actually a pet. She hoped he didn't know that, because then she would be mortified.
Cormack Mclaggen:
The few times I've been around him, he has always given me the creeps. The way I've seen him staring at different girls, checking them out....and doing that thing when he licks his lips is absolutely disgusting. In fact, him doing that partially reminds me of Barthy Crouch Junior, who always used to that. Anyhow, whether it's just him not bothering to trying to hide the fact that he is a sexist, or if there is something mentally wrong with him and that is his telling tick, I think any girl better stay clear of him. The way he speaks, so smooth whenever he thinks he can get anything from someone, along with his obvious anger issues and possessiveness nature leaves me with little doubt that he could be abusive, both physically and mentally. Aside from that, I, as stated, don't like Quidditch player...and Cormac is your typical, egotistical sports player that will one day be on the front of the Daily Prophet where Rita Skeeter for once tells the truth when she announces to the world that he has as least three side chicks, all of whom thinks they are the only one just like his girlfriend. Going back to his personality traits, he never shows real interest in whatever someone, most often, a girl, has to say to him, and only pretends to be interested...something that I would see through Immediately (having had years of experience of that being around Ron), and it would drive me nuts every time. All in all, I would say that Cormac is the perfect example of a poster boy posing as a good, charming boy who follows his ambitions and is friendly and pleasant with everyone, when in reality, the opposite is true. At the end of the day, I don't think Cormac has any real friends, it's all just fabrications so that he will look popular, and so that he can get things from others whenever he wants under their false perception of them being important to him. If he isn't the definition of sleazy, I don't know what. It is beyond me how any girl can ever fall for someone like him, when the warning signs are screaming as loud as a banshee.
Oh, I also forgot to mention that, despite how important his fame among the other students are and his poster boy- appearance, he thinks he is charming enough that being rude to others at any given moment just because he feels like it could never put light on what kind of person he really is.
And, before I start studying the next candidate, his clothes, which arent that different form normal muggle clothes, but has an air of rich schoolboy doesn't make him look cool to me. If one knows nothing about his personality though, he looks just like any other teenage boy who cares somewhat about how he dresses rather than just dragging whatever he finds over his head when he wakes in the morning. His hair is, just like most candidates, all to short...however, he is alone in that, at times, he curls it...which only makes him look worse, and even more like someone with a God-complex.
Disturbing fact about Cormac: he wears three different brands of hair Gele at the same time...imagine how fun playing with his hair would be for me who has an my-hands-can't-be-smeared-with-fat- anxiety. Also, he always carries around condoms in his trousers pocket in case a girl should throw herself at him in-between classes.
Conclusion, platonic compatibility: -297%
Romantic compatibility: -350%
-Hermione, you should keep as far away from him as possible; I would never forgive myself if me telling you to date other people causes you to end up with some sexual disease...and I...fuck, at this point, I want to date myself. What...who are even those people? They are awful, and you shouldn't go near any of them.
-Maybe that's what I've been trying to tell you all along...you are the best match for me.
-No...there must be a good example in here too, because otherwise, I will call you biased no matter that you said I couldn't.
-Harry`s the best one, then. Believe me.
He shoot her a hard glare.
-What?
-You are not dating Harry.
-Why? You suggested him, and he's the best person on the list.
-I know you are just teasing me, but seriously, I know I've been...kind of a dick with rejecting you all the time when we, you know...he waved lazily in the air between them,
-But Harrys off limits...it's too close, like you`re dating my nephew or something. Besides, like you said, he is in love with Luna...so that's ships already sailed.
-Paying attention to details, uh?
-Don't I always?
-Thats arguable.
-Well, everything`s arguable isn't it...or wasn't that what that muggle scientist said.
-Not quite...but you say it better.
She smiled softly at him, and he raised the good damn eyebrow again.
-Anyways, I'm glad Severus score wasn't any better than what it is. If it was, I would've taken you to St Mungos to check what`s wrong with your brain.
She gasped.
-Sorry, not sorry, Hermione.
She couldn't help it, she broke down laughing so hard that a few tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. Crookshanks hissed at her feet, annoyed that she had shifted her leg which he had been snuggling up to.
-I would accept nothing less from you, she declared once she could breathe somewhat normally again.
-Sorry Crookshanks.
Grabbe/ Goyle:
First of all, can we talk about how utterly stupid those two are? Always running around after Draco, and doing whatever he told them like they don't have their own brains to think with. From what I've seen of them, they are your typical Slytherin....looking down on muggleborns, and magical creatures because neither has "pure blood". It's the same with other Slytherin student, like Theodore Nott.
Aside from Nott, Grabb mostly but also Goyle has that almost constant, dumbstruck facial expression that tells me more than enough about their level of intelligence...and, for some reason, whenever I see Goyle, I can't help but think about Harry telling me he and Ron had overheard Draco saying “I didn't knew you could read”, and it cracks me up every time because it's such a spot on observation that I'm kind of jealous that I can't use it on someone...(Read, Ronald).
Note: those three candidates arent described in depth, because that would require a closer character study, which result is already pretty obvious...and I was getting tired of spying on Draco as they never go anywhere without him and I've already written his character analysis.
Conclusion: platonic compatibility: -300%
Romantic compatibility: -300%
-Yeah, no Slytherins for you.
-Isn't that discriminating, professor?
He glared at her.
-Not when they are the ones who hates your guts because you were born into a muggle family. Then it's just me protecting you from a death trap.
-Thank you for looking out for me, she said, meaning it.
-Don't I always, love...next one is...
It was yet another thing he did when he forgot himself, he called her love.
-Before we move on...what do you think of his comment to Goyle?
-As a teacher...
Oh, here it comes...starting with saying he was a teacher always meant that he would be saying something deliciously controversial, something that was their little secret because like any excellent professor, he had a reputation to uphold...one he had never bothered with when it came to her.
-...I shouldn't be encouraging such comments, but...
-... I think its brilliant. It's a shame I can't use it in class.
-Oh, that would've be savage! I'm normally not for insulting other students, but that would be hilarious. Just promise not to do it when I'm running late because I want to see everyone's reaction.
His moustache twitched, and his eyes shone with humour.
-Planning on keeping up your habit of always running late?
She pouted.
-I'm doing my best. But you know how I always lose track of time studying, can't find Crookshanks or can't find my class books because I forgot them in the library...or on your bed after our study sessions.
-We all have our flaws, he said patronisingly, patting her arm.
-Hey! She cried, faking outrage, which he, being Remus, blatantly ignored just for the sake of making her huff. Something he oddly enough always found to be very entertaining, although he always refused to tell her exactly why.
Cedric Diggory...
-But he is...
-Shhhh...do not ask. Just read and you get the answer.
He grunted, annoyed with her pettiness. She just smiled. He was adorable when he was grumpy.
-...if he had been alive:
-See?
He ignored her.
While Cedrich might not be as outgoing as your stereotypical view of someone like him, kind, heroic, and mostly well-spoken, under those layers of charm, I've seen the superior attitude he had hidden underneath. He is the type of guy that would never openly show how highly he thinks of himself, because that would ruin his reputation as the kind, friendly guy who happens to have lots of fans among the student body. I think most girls that fancies him are blind to the fact that he is not that much better than the ones who wears their over-confidence on their sleeve. That being said, most of the time, he was a nice enough person...but I would never have dated him. Not to be like that, but he is a Hufflepuff, and for obvious, pink-haired reasons, I dislike those with a passion.
-So...
-Don't say her name...and before you start, you know why.
-Because she has a crush on me.
-A disgusting one. You are already taken. By me.
-Look whose grumpy now, he teased.
-Please don't ruin tonight, she said quietly.
That immediately sobered him up. About two years ago, Tonks had grabbed him and kissed him, and she had walked in at just the wrong moment with the book she had been so excited to show him after finding it in the dusty Grimmauld library. It had taken a long time for her to get over what had happened, and to this day, she couldn't look Tonks in the eyes without her chest burning with hatred for the woman that had though she could steal Remus from her. Tonks, never one to get the message, had kept trying for a while after that, until Remus had reached his breaking point and had screamed at her in front of everyone in the Order who that he had no feelings for her whatsoever and that he already had someone else, which hadn't ever been a lie, but not really a truth either as he never wanted to define exactly what was going on between them. Until maybe tonight, if she was really, really lucky.
-I'm sorry. I'm not going to mention her again.
-Okay.
-No, it's not. I've just ruined the mood. This was meant to be an evening to celebrate, you know, us and what we have.
She shrugged. A few moments passed by in silence.
-You know, he began quietly.
She didn't look at him.
-I have a present for you too. It's not as good as yours, but...it's a little something. Pulling something out of his pocket, he handed her a...a little keychain.
She took it and studied it.
It was a small plastic book-figurine of her favourite muggle, children's book. It was small enough to fit perfectly in her hand, but much bigger than such keychains usually were, which allowed her to perfectly see every single detail of the little toy.
-Thank you, she said, giving him a weak smile.
She loved the present, both because it was from him, and because he had given her something uniquely her.
He nudged her with his feet, and his lips stretched into more and more of a smile as hers became more genuine.
-Come on, love... and there it is, your beautiful smile...
-Shut up, she said, but she didn't mean it.
-I can't...I have to finish reading this, remember.
He waved her essay lightly in the air, and then immediately stopped.
-Ops, I hope I didn't make any glitter fall into the food.
-I don't have my wand.
She didn't, it was still laying in her bookbag which she had forgotten in the classroom. To honour Valentines, she had put on a simple, light pink dress that her mother had sent from home with Hedvig, and it didn't have any pockets to stuff her wand in.
-I can do it, no problem.
He pulled his wand from his trousers pocket, and cast a charm over their dinner...
-No, no glitter.
Holding the cute little book in her hands, she cradled it and let the small gesture of love fill the previous cold space where the memory of Tonks kissing him had been with warmth and goofiness over being the one on the receiving end of his love as he continued to read her essay in his soft, shooting voice.
It was hard, but she knew she needed to put what had happened in the past. None of it had been Lupins fault, and she knew he too had suffered for a long time afterwards, feeling guilty and ashamed, blaming himself like he always did for everything...so she shouldn't let any of Tonks selfish actions infect their relationship.
The wizarding world was still mostly in ruins...their relationship shouldn't have to be because she couldn't handle her own insecurities like an adult...unlike him who was focusing on the future and the two of them building a life together in the aftermath of the war that was more intertwined than it had ever been before, despite how much they had always gravitated towards each other, wizarding and muggle laws alike be damned.
When it comes to looks, I don't think there is anything that really stands out about Cedric. Come to think about it, aside from when he competed in the Triwizard tournament, I've only ever seen in his school robes, and aside from the cruel Harry is a looser pin, I've never seen him wear any accessories. His hair looks okay, however, depending on how he brushes it, he either looks more like a simple collage guy, or like someone hiding their darker personality traits under their outgoing ones that gains them a lot of popularity. I have a vague memory of him having dark shadows under his eyes, but I don't know if was because he was chronically sleep deprived, which could potentially mean he had a serious caffeine addiction, or if he was just sleeping poorly because of the tournament. Despite being curios, it somehow feels insensitive to ask his Ghost such a question. I know some of the other muggleborns, aka, the female ones, thinks that he looks just like a guy whose extremely popular on muggle Tv. I don't agree, because I think there arent that much similarity between them...and I also generally don't agree with that Cedric should have the Tv looks...
-The Tv looks? Is that..
-Yes, its like...a beauty standard for actors on tv, but really, for anyone who's on Tv that isn't just some random person in the street being asked to comment on politics or tell some tragic story about how their dog was run over by a truck right outside their house.
-A good example, now I perfectly understand what you mean...thanks specifically to the added layer with the dead pet and all.
She just snorted.
-You couldn't have explained it better yourself.
-No... because then I hadn't needed to ask you what it meant in the first place.
She laughed.
-Just read, will you? I want to taste the chocolate cake. It smells really good.
-I know, it's been tempting me since I opened the recipe book I borrowed from Minerva.
-I appreciate it a lot, you know...that you`ve baked for me and all.
He waved her off.
-It's nothing. If you like it, I'm going to use the same recipe for your birthday. There is no point in me baking a strawberry cake when we both hate strawberry cake, and strawberries as a cake topping.
-If you don't stop being all charming, I might kiss you despite it not being January 5th.
-Wouldn't that be a tragedy...Hermione Granger breaking a lovely tradition. Seriously though, you might want to come up with something that's actually a punishment and not something as tempting as the chocolate cake...if not more.
She opened her mouth but closed it again. And he continued reading as if he hadn't just practically admitted that he was dying to kiss her.
Disturbing fact about Cedric: He and his friends were handing out offensive pins during the Triwizard tournament that basically hated on Harry for giving Gryffindor two candidates instead of just Cedric himself. However, he told Harry it wasn't his idea...but I know it was, because I heard Cho Chang beg him to stop being so mean but he didn't listen to her.
Conclusion, platonic compatibility: -100%
Romantic compatibility: -200%
Dean Thomas:
As I've already, on numerous occasions, explained my hatred for Quidditch, I will only shortly mention that Dean is a Quidditch player, as well as that his hair is way too short...what is it with men and having such short hair that playing with it would be no fun? Another thing that can be said about his physical appearance is that, during our first few years at Hogwarts, people always described him as scrawny...however, since we all came back to study after the war, he must've stared working out, because he is pretty muscular now, something that has gained him a lot of popularity he didn't really have before, both on the Quidditch team, but also among the female students. I overheard one Ravenclaw student, whose brother I think also plays Quidditch, call him ripped.
Unfortunately for him, I've never been impressed by muscles. Physical strength? Stamina? Yes, depending on whether the person is a decent one or an asshole, the latter which would remove any feelings of attraction...But muscles that shows? No, not for me. Not only does the sight not...uhm, do anything for me, I also don't like the stereotypical fit guy, because more often than not, such guys are obsessed with what they eat, silently judges everyone else for not being as fit as them regardless of why, AND, thinks way to highly on themselves to the point of sounding ridiculous as soon as they starts talking about themselves. It's like their fitness becomes their whole personality, and a boyfriend like that is like having no boyfriend at all because he is already taken; dating himself without even realising it. Now, I don't think any of that is true about Dean, but it's a principle and anyone who knows me knows how I am with principles.
For a short time in sixth year, he dated a Weasley, which shows how bad of a taste he has even if it was Ginny, as the rest of the Weasleys would be his in-laws. It's always been kind of buy one, get six for free, kind of deal with the Weasleys. Harry also claims that there was cheating involved, the main reason why he broke up with Ginny and later became interested in Luna instead, and the thought of being together with someone who had once helped someone else cheat, makes me all anxious. Sure, he might've not been betraying anyone, but he helped Ginny do it, if the rumours are true, which means that cheating isn't a big concern for him, and ultimately, that he doesn't have to officially be with someone or know for a fact that they are single to be able to have sexual intimacy with them. What is to say then, that he wouldn't be capable of cheating on a girlfriend of his? Sure, this might just be me, being a prude, but no number of insults because of how stiff I am, or reasoning with me that those two things aren`t the same will make me lower my standards for someone I have no romantic feelings for anyways.
Moving on, Dean loves to read comic books, and reading is reading I guess...although comic books with a lot of pictures in them doesn't feel advanced enough for me, and I would prefer a romantic partner of mine to have extended literary knowledge exceeding that of a comic book aimed at wizards in their early teenage years. To fact check myself, I've been kind of...hanging around Dean, pretending to study of just run into him by accident, and not once in the span of three months, THREE MONTHS, I seen him borrow ANY OTHER BOOK from the library. I even casually asked Madam Pince, and she confirmed that is the only book he has shown any interest in since he started attending Hogwarts. On a positive note, he is really good at art and also quite good at spell work and in class, but a relationship can't be based on that alone.
-He only reads one book? And is written for boys?
-Yes...can you believe it? And people claim that he likes to read...that's not reading, especially not when 95% of the book is pictures!
-Thats awful. Good thing I can keep up with you...
On a side note; he does get constellation points for having been defensive of professor Lupin and not allowing anyone to speak badly of him or imply that he is a bad teacher.
Disturbing fact about Dean:
1.He has both cottage cheese and cheese on his breakfast sandwich...which is absolutely disgusting...you simply cannot have both.... it's a universal rule that some toppings can't go together, and this is a great example.
- His pet owl is very protecting of him, it once bit Harry for reaching for the cereal package standing between him and Dean, and Dean told Harry to not take it personal when he had to go to the hospital wing and get a bandage because the bleeding wouldn't stop. Ron didn't come with like I did...he stayed in the Great Hall because he wasn't done eating. The big problem is that his owl recently found a mate...so now he has four owls, his original, vicious one, and its three children that also has violent tendencies.
- He once made fun of me and Ginny for being excited at some article or another in Which Weekly...which hurt me a lot because it was such a bonding moment with Ginny, and over something we usually never talk about, because usually I don't find the Witch Weekly to be very interesting. So yeah, I was pretty upset that he just had to ruin the moment with a thoughtless comment.
Conclusion: Platonic compatibility: 0%
Romantic compatibility: -100% (because of the cheating)
-I honestly feel sorry for any girl...woman, your age that`s trying to date. It can`t be easy when this is what you have to choose from. This should be a comedy book, not an essay on how undateable every guy is.
-I agree. It's a task from hell.
-Good thing for you that you think you`ve already found the right man, then.
-Yeah...if he would admit to it.
-Maybe he will. He´s probably just scared.
-Duh.
-Uh-huh.
Seamus Finnigan:
Just like with Ron, his spell work isn't perfect...and he had a tendency to blow things up.He can also be quite clumsy at times, something I don't find cute or charming at all. I've also heard him ask, seemingly with no shame, insensitive questions...such as the "How can someone be nearly headless", when Sir Nicholas floated by in the Great Hall. Really...what a stupid question! Obviously, it means that his neck has been almost completely torn from his body, which most likely is the reason why he died. It only makes sense that the Ghost then would be nearly headless. Also, what's with the thing of asking everybody things anyway...like why are you always so interested in what everyone else is doing? Mind your own business for one and be respectful of other people's social anxiety and privacy.
Another thing I don't like about him is the way he distrusted Harry before the war, and even went as long as spreading false rumours and seed doubts about him among the other Gryffindor students to the point where for a while, me and Ron were the only Gryffindors who actually believed in Harry. Of course, he came around later and was always excited to learn new things with Da, but that doesn't mean that I will forget the time he openly challenged Harry in front of everyone, calling him a liar and accusing him of spreading propaganda for Dumbledore, being his little puppet. And even then, when he was a part of the club, he never actually wrote his name on the list when I think about it...so technically speaking, he wasn't even a member.
Lastly, his physical appearance...by now, I don't know how many times I've written “to short or way too short hair”...which applies to Seamus too. He also often walks around the school with ashes smeared in his face after he has accidentally, or sometimes even on purpose, blown something up. Aside from that, he is the only one of the candidates who are the same height as me, which is a big no because I love the feeling of being small and petite, and also, there is something oddly comforting of having to crane your neck until it almost hurts to look at someone when they stand in front of you...I don't know why, maybe it's because of the trust I show them by being vulnerable...which biologically makes them more inclined to come off as safe in order to keep having me around.
Disturbing fact about Seamus;
-He once asked me, and some other female students if we had gotten our periods yet... and Snape overheard it but didn't say anything. One of the other girls began to cry when she realised he was there. Again, mind your own business!
Conclusion, platonic compatibility: -100%
Romantic compatibility: -200%
-Fucking hell...every teenage boy should know you can't just ask girls something like that! And asking someone how they can be almost headless is pretty insensitive as well....You know, I can't even count how many times Sir Nicholas has pulled that prank in the Great Hall...it's just as disgusting every time he...
-It is! ... you know, the first time when I wasn't able to look away in time because I didn't know what was coming, I had nightmares for days!
Lupin grimaced.
-You know, one time, Sirius and James were arguing about some muggle magazine that spoke of some violent computer game and, well, long story short, they became curious about Nicholas, and asked if they could get a closer look. I almost vomited into my breakfast cereal when they talked back and forth about what it looked like while Nicholas was floating beside our table, and, you know...
-Eww, that's so disgusting.
-I know...It didn't eat cereals again for a week after that. Then the full moon came and passed, so I forgot all about it until you mentioned him now.
She gave him a fake, serious expression.
-I'm sorry to bring back the greatest trauma of your life.
He burst out laughing.
-You didn't, love. If anything, you help me heal from them.... well, are you ready to eat now? I think the food is still warm...that is, if I haven't lost track of time, which I often do with you.
Determined not to give up yet when she hoped she was so close of breaking through his defences, she fiddled with her fingers in her lap where she had sat down in her chair as he read.
-You uhm, missed a page.
Lupin frowned.
-Oh...I did...uhm...
-Meow...meow...
He was silent for way to long, before he began to read again.
That was all the candidates, and the additional ones added for the benefit of the essay being extensive enough to prove my point; which has always been that none of those men are compatible, and that whomever Hermione Granger deem is compatible with her should feel lucky, because most people don't get to call themselves a potential date of hers. Now, to add to this conclusion, are an additional chapter that highlights who, for the other candidates was the competition, and what a potential date of Hermione Grangers actually looks like:
The ONLY candidate provided by Hermione herself...Hermione Granger should date:
Professor Remus. J. Lupin.
First of all, I love you...and you can't question that. Secondly, we both share the same values in life, and has a similar viewpoint on most things...whether its wizarding politics or family issues, or ways to look at love.
When we don't agree about something, we remain respectful of each other's thought process and previous life experiences, big and small traumas alike, throughout the debate. Most of the time though, we only really argue about very SERIOUS things...like which word fits better into the morning crossword in the Prophet.
Thirdly, we both have the same kind of calmness imbedded in them, and don't need to constantly be stimulated by others or the environment. If one of them wants to spend hours simply staring out a window, contemplating life, then that's okay...as long as they accept being cuddled. We both love solitude, but our levels of clinginess match each other's in harmony.
Fourthly, we both value, small, subtle expressions of love over big gestures, which often becomes superficial. It doesn't take much to make either of us happy, and we don't mind a quiet, subdued life despite both having the ambitions to always be and do better. If it happens, it happens. If not, that`s okay too. Just because a dream is out of reach, or because you let it go, it doesn't mean that you are a failure. It's just mean that you are on a different path than one you`d thought you`d be, and there is no shame in changing one`s mind. Hear, that, Lupin? But then again, you did end up as the permanent Dada professor once you figured out how to break the curse (I helped, just because I wouldn't accept your refusal of help and you couldn't resist my puppy eyes for more than a few days of pestering).
We both love the same things, books, chocolate, tea, biscuits, chocolate covered biscuits, quiet nights in, cuddles, historical knowledge, trivia quizzes, studying animals, people watching, arguing about muggle and wizarding literature, taking long walks in the forbidden forest during spring, summer and early autumn...and reading poetry to each other. We love crosswords, days spent in the school library, and going to the bookstore in Diagon Alley. We agree on that people shouldn't hate others based on what they think is acceptable toppings to have on pizza, and we both agree that Pumpkin juice should be available throughout the day in the Great Hall as free refreshments for students and teachers alike...we just need to finish collecting names for our petition to the school board.
Physical appearance: Remember how some of the previous candidates has been mentioned to have to long or short hair, being the wrong height and having tattoos, etc?
Well...I love your height, and your strong arms, you gives the best hugs in the world...and anytime you picks me up, I feel safe knowing that you would never drop me...both because of your physical strength and stamina...you could probably carry me in a circle around the forbidden forest, but also because your highted sense of self-awareness means that, aside from the night of the full moon, you is always in full control of your own movements and wouldn't accidentally lose your grip because you wasn't paying attention.
Your grey eyes always draw me in, and with only one look, I feel like I always know what you`re feeling because of how expressive they are...something that naturally strengthens the bond between us.
Your hair, which is soft, and thick, is just the right lengths for me to trail my fingers through as we cuddle, or, as I imagine, hold onto during sex, and be amused or charmed by as those curls right...there!...always threatens to fall into your left eye. And yes, you have a special face just for when that happens. It's very adorable.
Speaking of your face, your facial scars aren't ugly, they are beautiful... just like I've told you many times before...and the only reason why I don't like them is because of the pain they've caused you, physically and mentally...same for any scars on your body. However, if I had been able to choose between a version of you with scars, and one without...and had the infliction of said scars been painless, I would've never even looked twice at the scar-less face. Thats how much I love your face, just the way it is.
Moving on...Your nose isn't too big, no matter what the likes of Draco says...it's just the right size. And no, I'm not just saying that because I'm biased. It's the truth. If one can argue that your nose is too big, then one can argue that Draco's nose is too pointy, to thin...and for some mysterious reason, looks oddly out of place. Like maybe, it has been broken in the past as a result of Draco being full of shit and insulting the wrong person.
And then, there is your lips...which are just the right combination of chapped, and soft...no matter how much time you spends gnawing on your bottom lip, or sucking on it as you read, or has already finished your chocolate bar but doesn't want to let go of the flavour quite yet and, after a while, forgets that you are even sucking on your lip until I point it out.
Lastly, your moustache...is one of the things that makes you the hottest person I've ever met. The way it twitches when you are amused, makes me want to giggle, and when you`re teasing me, it makes butterflies swarm in my stomach...and, if some student is misbehaving in class, I can see your annoyance before anyone else, simply because your moustache twitches ever so slightly. It's the same thing when you are proud of yourself and tries to keep from gloating because you dislike people who gloats, and you generally don't like being a hypocrite. I`d forgive you though...you should be proud of yourself more often. Maybe then people would get it into their thick skulls what an amazing person you are.
Sidenote; as of 14th Nov 1993, you have been forbidden to ever even entertain the thought of shaving your moustache...something you unknowingly accepted when you signed one of my essays...without ever reading the note at the bottom that stated you would be giving away all rights to make any changes to your moustache without my consent. Surprise, surprise! Also, breaking the established boundaries will result in an instantly, magically dyed, blue nose. Just a precaution.
Your way of dressing, from your tweed jacket with the patches on the elbows, to your teacher robes in various shades of green, makes it hard not to reach out and touch you whenever you`re near me, and your dress shoes makes you look all elegant and classy...if anything, the guys my age should feel inspired by you, and they would, if they had any good taste themselves, which they don't.
Personality: You are the perfect mixture off all my favourite personality traits. You`re brave, but you don't brag about it...you don't need your ego stroked to know that you`d face anything for someone you love, even if its death...the latter something I wished I hadn't learned about you so many times.
You`re witty and intelligent, but you never claim to be a genius even though in my opinion, you should. You always look for new connections between something you just learned, and something you`ve already know. You love word puzzles and crosswords, because they let you use your thinking skills in ways most conversations and people don't. It's a hobby that we share, and I always look forward to doing our daily crossword together...because you make me laugh, and you never judge me if I don't get a 70s reference...then you just play teacher and teaches me all about it.
You have compassion, more so than most people because of Moony, but you also know when to see things black and white. You aren't afraid of calling yourself a hypocrite, nor of calling others out, whether it's a person we know, one we don't, or a higher power like the Ministry. On that lead, you are all for justice, but that doesn't mean that you don't know how to judge someone and hold people accountable even for things they shouldn't be blamed for, when you deem it necessary. It takes much to stick to your principles, but it also takes a lot to see that those principles can be more damaging than healing and that you might need to change, or at least, step around them.
You're loyal, but not to a fault. If someone does you wrong, they will know and they will regret it. You`re patient, but only when the person or situation deserves your patience. You aren't afraid of loneliness, in fact, you embrace the solitude...becomes its friend, and that's something only mentally strong people does. You`re independent, but also knows when you are in way over your head and needs a helping hand..even if it's hard to accept that.
You aren't afraid of being yourself, but you also take no unjustified pride in being who you are. You are content with your own values and morals, unlike many people who don't know themselves at all, or feel comfortable with the truth about themselves. I admire you for this.
You are also charming, trustworthy, and sophisticated...earnest and hardworking. And like a true gentleman, humble, respectful and mature. Not to mention responsible, humorous (with the right people), and adaptable.
I could go on for days...but a wise professor of mine often says that I shouldn't exhaust myself, and that twelve pages is more than enough...so I'm going to take his advice.
Lastly, and this is the most important lines of the essay;
We both know what pain feels like, and I haven't ever, and will never mind, tending to your wounds after the full moon, nor fuzzing over you whenever Moony makes you sick on a monthly basis... no matter how grumpy you are. I know the lunar cycle by heart, and always wants to learn more about how it affects you. I will never care about your Lycanthropy in the sense of feeling any shame, mortification or embarrassment over being together with someone that is heavily criticised by wizarding society, no matter how much publicity, insults or threats are thrown our way.
I don't care that you are older than me by seventeen years, in fact, I value your age as one of the best things about you, because living a long life of solitude and pain has humbled you, made you value and embrace responsibility, and given you a layered view of the world that most wizards, even as old as Dumbledore, never achieves in their lifetime. I don't mind your old school music, your Lps always laying scattered everywhere, your old-fashioned robes, they are soft and I likes breathing in the old-fabric smell when you hugs me or cuddle me, or your lack of knowledge about modern teenage trivia....I don't care much for such trivia either, being an old soul myself and all. I likes the timelessness there is to your character, and I will always cherish it.
Also, my feelings for you arent fleeting. It's not a crush, an infatuation, or a phase of madness and bad judgement. It's not an invisible Lunar eclipse, nor will it last for just a few lunar cycles...it`ll last for all of them.
End note: Hermione Granger has been in love with professor Lupin since, date: 1th Sep 1993.
Essay executed by,
Hermione Jean Granger,
With the emotional support of Crookshanks.
Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry,
As a direct response to R.J. Lupin`s stubbornness,
February 2001.
The room was deadly silent in a way it hadn't been before.
-Remus?
Her voice was small, uncertain. Almost childlike. Crookshanks tail thumped softly against the floor.
Slowly putting her essay down at the edge of his desk, he kneeled down before her on the floor, reached out his hands, grabbed her collar, leaned in and....kissed her. Shocked,she remained completely still, mind unable to process what was actually happening. He was...he was kissing her!!
-Meow...meow...
Pulling back slightly, he opened his eyes. A few curls hang down over his eyebrow, almost falling into his eye.
Her cheeks were burning, a gentle reminder of her innocence as she stared into his eyes, soft and welcoming. Always so...understanding of her pain.
-I love you too.
Her heart filled with so much warmth she almost couldn't handle it. This, this feeling, was what had helped through the war, and the loneliness as he was gone for months at a time...as she travelled the country with Harry and Ron, secretly hoping that she`d find him but fearing that she wouldn't because he was somewhere else completely...maybe dead, maybe alive. Communicating wasn't safe, and so her only refuge had been listening to his voice on the radio. When the war was over, one after another, most of everyone she knew came back to Hogwarts, either to help rebuild the school grounds, teach, or study. At first, she had been to numb to feel much at all...but he had helped her, by gentle touches she wished to be more, by soft words murmured into her ear as she lay awake at night in his bed, unable to let go of her nightmares. Little by little, he had made living feel normal again, and she had done the same for him. All along, there had been a silent understanding that even if he never come around to admitting how he felt, to actual say the words she had said to him many times through the years, they were it for each other. They would either be together, or they would stay single until he stopped being so stubborn. It was as simple as that. But now that he had, and the future she had only dreamed about had been born.
Leaning in again, his lips closed over hers again. One of his hands slid to the back of her head and wrapped around the nape of her neck, while the other picked up one of her trembling hands and put it on his shoulder. The fabric of his worn-out robes were soft under her fingertips, and his moustache tickled her face. Tears poured in her eyes, and there was a stabbing pain somewhere inside. He pulled back, and brushed one of her tears away. For the third time tonight, her tears caused the candlelight to stretch out, and in this moment, he was more beautiful than ever before, face half shadowed, half candle-lit. He smiled, that smile, and she gave him a watery one back.
She had fought so long, for so many years, for this. For the kiss they had first shared when they find themselves standing under a misplaced mistletoe in the school library back when she was thirteen...after he had found her sleeping with her face buried in a book about werewolves. The mistletoe hadn't been charmed, they hadn't needed to kiss, and they both knew that...but he did it anyway, in the dark aisle between bookshelves...the rest of the castle sleeping peacefully.
And every year since, no matter where they were, the Burrow or Grimmauld place, but only on the fifth of January, did he kiss her...a single, soft, but oh so deep kiss that left her weak in the knees and her fingers trembling as they gripped his robes, not wanting him to leave her without for another year. If there was no leftover mistletoe that Molly hadn't cleaned away, he always pulled one from his pocket with a soft smile, having saved one just for them so they could kiss despite not being allowed to. She liked to think it was the very same one, charmed, of course, as to stay fresh...but she never dared to ask.
And now, he was...he was finally hers. To be honest, she had fought she would have to spend her entire life loving him from afar because he was too stubborn to ever give in, but he had...and now the long way it had taken to get here suddenly was all worth it, war and all.
She had found love, and she would never let it go.
-We...we need to clink our glasses... I mean, bottles... it's a tra..tradition, when you are celebrating something, she sniffled, wiping away her tears. Quickly, Lupin helped her open the two bottles of Butterbeer.
-Wait, where`s your muggle camera!?
-It`s... uhm...he rushed over and fetched it from the wardrobe before he sat back down on the floor in front of her chair. Leaning down, she picked up Crookshanks and put him in her lap. They raised their glasses, and Lupin had to be the one to take the photos because her hands were still all too trembly...emotional overload and all that. Crookshanks purred softly as he pressed his head face first into his robes, and she felt the vibrations in her hand as she used her free one to stroke his fluffy fur.
Right before he snapped the last picture, she leaned forward and kissed the corner of his mouth, a big sloppy kiss, from a young witch drunk on Happiness and Butterbeer.
He put the camera down, and kissed her back.
She knew that those would always be her most beloved photos, because this was where their story well and truly began.
-Meow....
The end!