Ex-Girlfriend
How can the summer program already be halfway over?
Blink 182 that’s for sure. Or… actually blink 26 in this case.
It feels like only yesterday I gave Joyce my inventory list for more canvases, clay, and paint -now the kids have almost used it all up!
Lately, though, it’s just been Max using all our supplies like she’s living in her own artist's dream residency. We’re her own personal supply closet.
From pick up to drop off she spends all her time in the Art Corner. Which, I have no problem with whatsoever, we needed a new drying rack anyways.
She started with simple things like sea turtles and hibiscus flowers, copying the Roxy logo and putting it everywhere.
Now she’s onto portraits.
She drew Elle as Wonder Woman in attempt to make her feel better after Monday morning’s bold declaration to Mike Wheeler,
“I’m dumping your ass!”
Jesus Christ.
That was the hardest I’ve ever had to try and keep a professional composure and not let my jaw drop to the fucking floor as the art room went silent… but Robin let out one of those snorting laughs and I couldn’t help myself. It wasn’t cool of me to laugh, yes, I still had to catch Elle for inappropriate use of language and get everyone to stop laughing because I’m sure Mike was about to run off and cry.
Robin’s laugh has been my favorite sound lately.
It’s a good laugh. A deep belly laugh that’s not afraid to yawp and push and slap on shoulders.
My favorite part of her laugh though?
It matches mine.
Somehow, through the talk of making Elle feel better, the conversation lead to crushes. Jesse McCartney, Daniel Radcliffe- Max came fully loaded with the Tiger Beats this week for her bff.
I never thought about how actually important it was for me to know which Pussycat Doll I am. Kimberly, apparently. Robin is Carmit.
I could see that.
Y’know what? All day it’s nothing but Wheelers and Byers- even when I go home! Like, shit! If it’s not Mike coming into the Art Corner (with his bodyguards, Lucas and Dustin) to ask questions about the deep trenches of their DnD campaign while avoiding teen girl death glares, I have to go home to his sister fuming in the kitchen because there’s a job in Boston she wants and Jonathan wants to stay here with his mom and siblings, saying they need him here.
I don’t mean to spill secrets on Mom and Dad fighting, but these walls are a lot thinner than they think.
On Tuesday night, just my luck, Eddie called in the middle of one of their fights to ask if I could help him measure and prime a canvas for this big secret project he’s working on. I’ll take a staple gun incident over the sounds of their lovers kiss and (temporary) make up any day.
I’ve come to the realization that it’s not Nancy making those noises.
Robin and I have been hanging out a lot after work and when I’m not with her… I’m with Eddie. We’ve sort of been…. spending a lot of time together recently. Not just at work helping the kids with their projects, but before as well.
He remembered to ask for avocado in my chorizo breakfast burrito that he started picking up from Rodolfo’s…. again. He hasn’t done that in years.
After work last Wednesday Robin asked if I was interested in going with her to the mall since she needed new cleats.
Duh, of course my answer was yes. I wanted to show off that new summer dress I got that looks like something out of Helena Bonham Carter’s closet. The flowers on my black dress matched her freshly touched up hair.
Robin’s fingertips were still slightly pink, they looked like that Bubble Yum we split after getting lunch in the food court.
I know Lady footlocker (ah yes, finally ladies can shop at footlocker) does not equate to a date, but in my head, we so were. She paid for both of our drinks at Orange Julius.
I would have assumed the way I feel about crushes would have matured as I got older, but here I am, writing in my diary a Lisa Frank notebook about how Liz Phair plays in my head whenever I’m around her. I chew and blow bubblegum and laugh at her jokes like I’m in high school again.
Speaking of high school-
Right as Robin was about to ask if I wanted to catch a spontaneous showing of Batman Begins (Steve did ask her but she was busy that weekend. 0-1, Popeye. Suck it.) Eddie came up to us with his ass hanging out of those stupid oversized jeans and heavy chains all,
“Hey, can we talk?” as Robin went to get our tickets.
Oh no.
no no no
You know what did that lead to?
“I was thinking about us,”
Us?
There hasn’t been an us since he decided that we should just be friends so he could “focus on his music.”
Clearly that got him far- he’s still here working at a tween summer program instead of playing at the MTV MVAs.
At the mall I told him to call me later and we’ll talk…. just not right in front of the girl I’ve been consecutively thinking about these past few weeks. I obviously didn’t tell him that.
That put my mind in a whirl, suddenly seeing him everywhere, in all the little things.
The things we used to do together.
We still go to the same comic book store and I just realized the Around the Fur shirt I sleep in sometimes used to belong to him.
Then that led to me having a dream earlier this week. Like, a dream dream.
To say I was wet was an understatement.
This never ever never, happened to me before, but I woke up…. pulsing.
Fuck. Ew ew ew, god, barf, it’s even worse reading it back than keeping it in my head.
A dreamgasm. A nocturnal emission. I thought this shit only happened in the movies and to teenage boys.
Yes. I fucking came in my sleep because my body has been so built up with stress on the pathetic excuse that is my love life and for Munson to bring this shit on me now??
Like, okay, I dreamt dreamt about him.
The way he touches me, the way he kisses me.
The way he used to touch me, the way he used to kiss me.
I dreamt he took me completely, entirely, on a food court table right in front of Panda Express. Lifting up that new dress I knew he was ogling at when we ran into each other at the mall, spilling other things alongside my Orange Julius and getting sticky everywhere.
Is it not as weird if I admit that in my dream he was dressed up like Batman? Cape, utility belt, and all?
No, that probably makes it weirder and surfaces that hidden mask kink I’ve been suppressing since I rented Eyes Wide Shut and watched it three times before returning it to Blockbuster.
Why am I like this?
Today Steve asked if he could borrow some of my No Doubt albums because he wants to listen to the kind of music Robin likes after he overheard us making plans for this weekend.
Just get them off Limewire or get the Singles Collection at F.y.e, dude.
Never in my life have I ever been so defensive of Tragic Kingdom.
This was something Robin and I shared and he wants to wedge his big nose in on our fun.
He would like them, that’s the thing. He’s a Simple Kind Of Life kind of guy, even more than Rich Girl.
I remember that I listened to Don’t Speak for weeks after Eddie and I broke up a few years ago.
Now I just want to listen to Start the Fire because he asked me out for coffee at our old spot.
He’s picking me up tomorrow afternoon and on Sunday morning, Robin and I are heading up to Indianapolis to watch a tribute band.
Oh, Miss Stefani, we’re really in it now.