Sugar We're Going Down
Second week down. Six more to go.
I almost quit this damn week.
It all started when I walked in on Monday and heard Steve doing that stupidly impressive Vanessa Carlton piano bridge trying to show off his childhood lessons to Robin and… she actually looked impressed?
I wanted to wipe that smug smirk off his face, even more as he asked if she likes Maroon 5.
I nearly gagged.
Songs About Jane is the only album he keeps in his car and suggests the song Sunday Morning to every girl he meets.
I want to tell Robin that I’ve witnessed him with my own eyes and ears tell Tammy Thompson the same thing last summer when she worked here before moving to Nashville. (There was also rumor or something about her trying out for American Idol.)
Remember when I thought about asking Steve for Robin’s number? Well, I did….
I got it.
- but I had to say it was a for a question about work because I didn’t know if he’d give me it or not.
I mean, now that I had time to think about it, I probably didn’t need to lie. It’s not like he sees me as competition for her affection or anything.
Steve probably thought it would’ve worked to his advantage if one of his female friends thinks she’s alright.
He even asked me if I knew if she’d seen Batman Begins because he was thinking about taking her. He doesn’t even like superhero movies! What the hell is he trying to do?
Former Varsity Baseball Batman and Robin?
Get real.
If she says yes to him then I’m going to…
I’m going to…
-I’m going to do something. I don’t know.
I’m getting too aggressive lately and I hate it.
Steve’s not a bad guy. He’s one of my closest friends (which high school me would have never of believed. She would’ve thought it was some unfunny joke.)
Today, when Max’s mom was late picking her up, Steve and I sat in the front office with her the whole time. We probably shouldn’t have, but in the lobby we let her show us that she could now do an ollie. Steve said if she could perform a perfect 360 kickflip then he’ll burn her a copy of that new Fall Out Boy album.
And then she bet if she could perfect it by next week, he had to buy her the actual album.
The way he gave her a look over his glasses with his hands on his hips before agreeing, and even shaking hands with Max in good sportsmanship, was almost enough to revive that little crush I had on him back in high school.
Major emphasis on the almost.
He’s on thin ice if he tries pulling anything else on Robin this weekend at that party he’s throwing at his and Eddie’s apartment.
There’s no doubt he’s going to, but other girls will be there. Fingers and toes crossed, maybe he’ll get distracted.
I’m also gonna ask if I can maybe crash this weekend? because I just can’t handle my roommate right now and I know Steve and Eddie wouldn’t mind if I caught up on some Zzz’s.
Jonathan’s been hanging around the apartment a lot more and every time I walk into the living room they’re cuddling on the couch.
Besides the fact he’s my boss’s son, it’s bad enough I have to see him at work because he picks up the twins and Mike for Nancy at the end of the day when Joyce works late
Jonathan’s alright, though. He’s quiet, but the kind of quiet that reminds me of that one dude in American Beauty who filmed that plastic bag if he listened to Elliot Smith all the time.
He’s quiet, but not quiet enough.
Nancy’s room is right next to mine… if you catch my drift.
Headphones help.
So much.
When The Pawn is the only album I feel like listening to these days.
I feel like I’m finally listening to the lyrics as I’m just laying there, delusional in the dark, listening to the whole album before my body can even slow down and rest.
I think I cried to Paper Bag but I don’t remember.
I haven’t exactly been sleeping well because every time I close my eyes,
I see pink hair.
I know Nancy and Jonathan aren’t deliberately rubbing it in my face, but it’s watching the moments when they’re whispering and giggling is when I really feel alone.
I mean, I’m not alone. I have my friends… and my friends have their friends.
I think I’m keeping a lot of my jealousy close these days. This can’t be good for my health.
Isn't it messed up, how I'm just dying to be him?Steve can be so open with his advances while I’m stuck watching from afar in the Art Corner trying to stop Will from getting overwhelmed because he’s gone through his third character design since Eddie introduced that new “Cult of Vecna” campaign in DND club.
He’s a good kid. He’s talented. He even showed me sketches of a painting he wants to work on this summer for the club.
But… from the way he keeps trying to make a certain paladin look perfect, I think the painting might be for someone else.
I know I shouldn’t assume anything, he’s just a kid, but the way I’m looking at Robin and Steve… I’ve noticed that he’s kind of looking at his sister and his best friend the same way.
Mike doesn’t even do anything in the Art Corner except try to sneak his iPod and have Elle listen to songs that remind him of her.
God help us all, Mike Wheeler discovered Hawthorne Heights off MySpace.
Speaking of Dissolve and Decay, here’s another thing that made me want to crawl in a hole and die this week…
And it’s all stupid freak on a leash Munson’s fault.
Going back to what I said about Will, I had to confront their precious Dungeon Master earlier this week after finding the kid nearly in tears after club.
He needs to remember that Will Byers is thirteen- and that he is a grown ass twenty five year old adult man with bangs.
Dustin told me he was a bit hard on him during their meeting, which “a bit hard” in terms of Eddie Munson, translates to, being a complete and utter sphincter.
I can’t believe I yelled at Eddie after work.
“It’s just a game. It’s not fucking real.”
We’ve never fought before.
Well, it did start out as a normal conversation, just shooting the shit next to that creepy Aragorn Munson mural, but to tell me Will shouldn’t be so sensitive? That really got under my skin. He’s one to talk.
I know that’s not really what Eddie thinks.
He gets too caught up in the “Master” title, I think he forgets about human empathy sometimes.
Robin probably thinks the same about me now, the way I caught her staring in disbelief from afar in the parking lot that I could ever show such hostility as I chewed him out, poking his Deftones shirt and all.
I was so embarrassed.
It was like when I peed my pants in the fourth grade in front of Angel DeGuzman because I fell off the tire swing at recess and then had to wait a whole entire hour for my mom to come to the office and drop off clothes for me while I sat on a big black garbage bag.
She should’ve just taken me home at that point.
Maybe if I just stayed at home the rest of that day and ate Chips Ahoy while watching Captain Planet, I wouldn’t be the way I am now.
I’ve noticed whenever Robin stands next to Eddie after work, she always coughs when he lights up one of his camels.
Like, in a way she’s obviously pretending to cough so he puts it out.
So now I’ve been cigarette free for three days.
Huh….
That probably explains why I’ve been so damn irritable.
And moody, and sleepy, and hungry.
So damn hungry.
I had two cheesy gordita crunches, a mexican pizza, and drank an extra large Baja Blast at lunch and now I’m really starting to feel the consequences of my poor Yo Quiero cravings.
I’m miserable and it’s all Robin Buckley’s fault.
I really hope she can make it to Steve’s party this weekend.