Chapter 1
“You’re not really going to say no are you?” Millie leaned over the healer’s station counter as Susan attempted to finish her charting.
Snorting, Susan continued on. “After the last absolute disaster? No way am I saying yes.”
Millie’s face twisted in disapproval as she tapped her wand impatiently against her arm. “Ernie isn’t Megan. Are you really going to let her ruin your life?”
“I’m not letting her do anything,” Susan said lightly, flipping a chart closed and starting the next in her stack. “I broke up with her, I removed myself, and now I’m continuing with my life.”
The other healer scoffed. “So why don’t you say yes to a date with Ernie?”
“Ernie is great, but he’s also a colleague. I don’t mix work with pleasure, and Megan was a perfect example of why that is wise. Now can we move on?” Susan didn’t look up from the patient chart.
“I would say yes, except you’re being ridiculous. It’s been what, a year since Megan? You don’t talk about what happened with her, but it was obviously more than the dragonshit you gave me about ‘not having common long term goals.’ Who even says that?”
“Oh I don’t know,” Susan snapped. “Maybe the broken hearted idiot that believed everything the pathological liar told her? Maybe someone would say that because they were humiliated and embarrassed for letting the girlfriend that everyone said was bad for her string her along for almost two years?” Susan snapped the chart closed and threw it aside, glaring up at her friend. “Maybe it was to save face and keep nosy witches quiet while she tried to piece her life back together!” The shock on Millie’s face wasn’t as satisfying as she thought it would be, but part of that was the sting of admitting how hurt she still was.
Susan stood abruptly, the wheeled chair flinging backwards and crashing into the filing cabinet behind her. “And it’s been ten months, not a year. Now let. It. Go.” Spinning on her heel, she stormed away, leaving Millie gaping at her sudden outburst.
Susan spent the rest of their shift avoiding Millie, always finding reasons to slip away when she saw the other healer headed her way. She stayed late, lingering at the bedside of an unconscious woman to be sure Millie would be out of the changing room when she left. Millie had a breakfast date with the dragon tamer, so Susan was confident she wouldn’t linger.
Blissfully, Susan had calculated correctly and the locker rooms were empty when she went in to change and get her bag. She didn’t relish the thought of going home alone, so when she stepped out onto the street outside of St Mungo’s, she walked slowly through the crisp morning air. The rain had stopped for a few minutes, but started again as she slipped into her favorite cafe.
A bell chimed above the door, and the air smelled of hot croissants and freshly brewed coffee. The barista at the counter nodded her hellos, and Susan sat at a table to wait for her tea. Suppressing a yawn, she watched a couple stroll down the street hand in hand. She turned away from the window, trying not to scowl.
Millie was right, even if Susan would never admit it to her. Megan had scarred her in a way she hadn’t known was possible. She’d loved her to the point she’d been blind to Megan’s faults, allowing herself to be manipulated. Hindsight may be 20/20, but Susan was smarter than she’d acted, and lost two valuable years that she should have spent on a medical residency instead.
It had been ten months since she’d finally had enough and walked away, but she didn’t feel as if she was ready to even consider opening herself up to the possibility of letting anyone that close to her again.
She jumped when a familiar face slid into the seat across from her, passing her a steaming cup. “I didn’t mean to startle you,” Pansy arched an eyebrow at her. “But I tried getting your attention. Penny for your thoughts?” She raised her coffee to her lips, waiting patiently.
“Sorry,” Susan shook her head. “I just got off. Just tired.” Her weak smile didn’t convince Pansy in the slightest, so she redirected instead. “How’s Neville?”
“He’s great.” Pansy’s lips turned up in a true smile. “I might feel better if he ever leaves the force but Daphne tells me it doesn’t get better.” She pulled a face, and Susan nodded somewhat absently. She hadn’t seen Daphne since her wedding to Harry Potter almost three years ago.
“I didn’t know Harry left,” she mused, and Pansy laughed.
“Oh no, but he got promoted and is chained to a desk now.” Pansy smirked, her amusement clear. Susan had seen Harry Potter pass through Head Auror Healer Vance’s office enough times over the years to know that he was probably miserable and Daphne was thrilled.
They chatted for a few more minutes, mostly exchanging what they knew of their former classmates’ whereabouts. Susan didn’t mind, even if she found it funny that the former Slytherin’s social circle now included more Gryffindors than a Hogwarts Reunion.
“Can I just say you seem…. Better… than you did last time I saw you?” Pansy cocked her head appraisingly.
“Hardly,” Susan laughed. “I haven’t slept in nearly 24 hours.”
Pansy shook her head. “No, I mean last time I saw you…” she paused. “You just didn’t seem like yourself. It’s good to see you smiling again.”
It took a moment to remember when she’d seen Pansy last. It had been about a year ago, at a party Millie had dragged her and Megan to. Pansy had just started dating Neville, and Megan had picked a fight right before they’d arrived at Draco and Hermione’s.
“A lot has changed in the last year,” she replied evasively, and Pansy nodded thoughtfully.
“How’s Megan?”
This was the question Susan had been dreading. She shrugged, avoiding Pansy’s shrewd eyes. “We’re not together anymore.”
“Good.” Pansy’s blunt attitude shouldn’t have surprised her, and yet somehow it still did. “I’m sorry but she just…” Pansy grimaced.
“Yeah,” Susan glanced away. “I finally realized that.”
Pansy banished their empty cups back to the counter with a click of her tongue. “You have the same look Neville gets when Hannah comes up, so I won’t push. But I’m glad you’re doing better. I need to get to work, and it sounds like you need to get home and get some rest.” Pansy smiled, and Susan felt a rush of gratitude towards the witch. “You should come to dinner sometime. Neville would love to see you.”
Susan nodded. “That sounds great. I’ll send you an owl?” Pansy nodded, and exited the shop with a wave.
Several days later, Susan received an invitation from Pansy to a dinner party, and she accepted without thinking much about it until the evening came, and she dug through her closet.
Knowing Pansy, she couldn’t show up in anything casual, and the dress she held brought back vivid memories of a night with Megan.
I like this dress on you, Megan had told her, and Susan had peered up at her through her eyelashes. I bought it thinking how nice it would look on your floor.
It had ended up on Megan’s floor later that night, and Susan could still feel the butterflies and delirious happiness that sank into an anxious pit in her stomach. She hadn’t touched the dress since, but she pulled it on anyway, and stepped through the floo without looking in the mirror.