April 30th part two
Harry Potter wanted answers. Professor Dumbledore called him and the Weasley’s to his office but he didn’t even explain anything! He only confirmed that Peter Pettigrew was indeed Scabbers and that Scabbers did sell his parents out to Voldemort, but no explanation. Nothing about how pettigrew became an animagus or how he got to the Weasleys. There was still so many unanswered questions about Sirius Black like where he currently was or how he even escaped Azkaban or how he even got into Hogwarts all those times.
But what Harry really wanted to know is why the man hasn’t tried to see him since he is Harry’s godfather. Did he not want the title? Did he not care about Harry after all? Did he only escape for Peter?
Harry thought that he finally had an out of staying with the Dursleys, but Sirius Black has stayed distant and it hurt.
Then five days ago, Harry was walking through the castle under his invisibility cloak. It was after hours and he wanted to clear his head and just go on a walk. And when he walked past Professor Lupin’s office, he saw the strangest thing: Sirius Black leaving the office. So he was seeing Lupin, but not Harry. Harry didn’t fully understand why, but he was angry. Did he really mean so little to his godfather that he was sneaking into the castle just to avoid him? He wanted to confront the man right then and there, but Black snuck away too fast.
Then today Ron, Harry, and Hermione were leaving Hagrid’s, and they saw Professor Lupin approach the whomping willow. The trio hid behind a bush to keep watch. With a wave of his wand, they watched the tree branches slow to a stop. The professor looked around for a moment before bending down and disappearing into the tree.
“The whomping willow is a secret entrance, like the one in honey dukes.” Harry muttered once he was sure the professor is long gone.
“Is it marked on the map? I don’t remember seeing it.” Ron mentioned. Harry thought about it, he remembers the tree being marked, but not where it ended up.
“Fred and George said no one’s ever gotten in to it, it just goes off the edge of the map.” Harry said. He wasn’t sure how Lupin figured out there was a tunnel, but Harry had one guess as to who he was meeting. “Come on.” Harry started to move to the tree, but Hermione grabbed him first.
“Harry! We can’t just follow the professor! We have no idea where the tunnel leads or if it’s even safe!” Hermione had a fear in her eyes that Harry didn’t understand. It was only Lupin after all.
“I think he’s meeting Sirius Black.” Harry said. His friends stopped.
“What makes you say that?” Ron asked. So Harry explained. He told them about what he saw a few days ago with Black. Then he explained why it bothered him. How he needed answers from his godfather. How he needed to see the man in question. Luckily his best friends were the greatest friends he could ever find.
“Alright.” Said Ron, “Let’s go before that tree attacks us.” Ron started to walk, Harry turned to his other friend.
“Hermione?”
“We’ll be with you every step.” She smiled. So did Harry. The three walked to the tree and down through the hole.
They slid down until they landed in a dark tunnel. The three illuminated their wands to find only one way to go. They started forward, crouched down almost crawling. They didn’t speak, mostly trying to watch where they were going. Harry couldn’t imagine how Lupin made this trek, the man was a lot taller than them. Eventually the tunnel began to rise then it twisted and rose. Harry could see light finally.
They pushed forward until they were standing in a very dusty, destroyed room. Tables, chairs, nightstands, every piece of furniture was in tatters as though something clawed its way through. There were stains on the floor and the walls, the wallpaper was either peeling or completely ripped off. The room was deserted, nothing more but a hallway with stairs on one side. Harry looked to his friends who sported matching horrified looked.
“I think we’re in the shrieking shack.” Hermione whispered. Harry looked around, there was a hole in the wall as if someone had punched through it then grabbed a piece of it and threw it aside.
“Ghosts didn’t do that.” He breathed. Beside him, Ron whimpered slightly. But since Ron was the most protective person Harry had ever met, his friend started to the staircase first. Hermione gripped onto Harry’s arm so tight, he could feel her fingernails dig in as the two followed Ron. They reached the landing and turned off their wands with a quick nox. The door was slightly open and on the count of three the opened it and stepped in.
Professor Lupin and Sirius Black were sitting behind a grand piano which Harry felt was very out of place since it looked to be brand new. Black looked different since Harry last saw him. His hair was shorter and he wore robes instead of the prison uniform. He was still skinny and pale, but he no longer looked so much like death.
“Professor Lupin.” Harry looked back and forth between the two men, “What is this place?”
Ron looked just as confused as Harry felt, but not Hermione. She kept looking between the two like she finally understood what was going on. Harry would love if she shared her revelation, or if anyone explained what was going on.
“And why do you keep meeting him in secret?” Ron asked. Harry thought that was a rather fair question. The two men looked to each other then back to the three of them. Neither looked like they knew what to say. Professor Lupin cleared his throat.
“We are not meeting up in secret, this is the first time I’ve talked to him in years.” Lupin was calm as he explained. He stood up away from the piano.
“You’re lying!” Hermione cried. “I’ve been covering for you, but I know what you’ve been doing! You’ve been his friend this entire time!”
“I haven’t been his friend this entire time, let me explain…” Lupin tried.
“No. Harry, listen to me, he helped Black sneak in and out of the castle, he tried to kill Scabbers too, and he’s a werewolf!” Hermione shouted the room into a silence. Everyone was looking at Lupin now. The professor looked surprisingly calm, Black not as much. Black had his mouth agape and looked a mix between angry and shocked.
“Not at all up to your usual standard, Hermione.” Lupin said. “Only one out of three, I’m afraid. I have not been helping Sirius get into the castle nor did try to kill scabbers…” A shadow ran over his face. “But I won’t deny that I am a werewolf.”
Ron took a step back and pulled Hermione and Harry back with him. Lupin looked like he had to make an effort to stop himself from something. He turned to Hermione instead.
“How long have you known?”
“Since Professor Snape set the essay.” Hermione whispered.
“He’ll be delighted,” Lupin coolly said. “He assigned that essay hoping someone would realize what my symptoms meant… Did you check the lunar chart and realize that I was always ill at the full moon? Or did you realize that the boggart changed into the moon when it saw me?”
“Both.” Hermione answered quietly. “So… you never tried to kill scabbers?”
“Not that he wouldn’t have deserved it.” Harry muttered. Scabbers who pretend to be a rat when really all he was, was a coward who sold out his parents.
“Who is scabbers?” Black said which caused them all to jump. Harry had completely forgotten he was there.
“Peter. Scabbers is his pet name.” Lupin explained. Black made a disgusted face at that sentence.
“Dumbledore hired a werewolf?” Ron gasped, “Is he mad?”
“Some of the staff thought so,” Lupin forced a laughed. “He had to work very hard to convince certain teachers that I’m trustworthy.”
Lupin sighed and sat on a queen bed Harry just realized was there. It was a full poster bed with a lumpy mattress covered in dust, but Lupin didn’t seem to mind.
“But you’re not trustworthy since you’ve been helping him.” Ron pointed out as he nudged his head to Black.
“I have not been helping Sirius,” Lupin said. “If you give me a chance I’ll explain-“
“You’re still lying! I saw him leave your office last Monday!” Harry said. Lupin looked to Black. Black looked like he forgot he himself was there.
“I didn’t see anyone- you were wearing your father’s cloak.”
“How d’you know about the cloak?”
“The number of times we saw James disappearing under it…” Lupin waved an impatient hand.
“Wait.” Hermione interrupted, “last Monday after hours when you saw Black was a full moon. If Black was truly there then he was there while Professor Lupin was a wolf.”
“But werewolves are dangerous. Wouldn’t the wolf have killed Black?” Ron questioned. He had a good point too.
“Alright. There are parts of it even I don’t understand, but you all deserve to know the full story. Right Sirius?” Lupin and the three of them looked to Black. The old prisoner seemed almost uncomfortable with everyone’s eyes on him.
“Do what you must.” He said. He then grinned like a madman as he looked at Harry and his friends. “But be quick… before the ghosts come back!” His eyes were crazed as he said it. Harry was definitely unsettled. Ron whimpered again and Hermione took a step back.
“This place is haunted!” Ron whispered.
"It’s not," said Lupin, looking at Black annoyed. "The Shrieking Shack was never haunted. ... The screams and howls the villagers used to hear were made by me." He pushed his graying hair out of his eyes, thought for a moment, then said, "That's where all of this starts — with my becoming a werewolf. None of this could have happened if I hadn't been bitten ... and if I hadn't been so foolhardy. ..." He looked sober and tired. Ron started to interrupt, but Hermione said, "Shh!" She was watching Lupin very intently.
"I was a very small boy when I received the bite. My parents tried everything, but in those days there was no cure. The potion that Professor Snape has been making for me is a very recent discovery. It makes me safe, you see. As long as I take it in the week preceding the full moon. I keep my mind when I transform... I am able to curl up in my office, a harmless wolf, and wait for the moon to wane again. That is how Sirius was able to see me during the full and survive.
Before the Wolfsbane Potion was discovered, however, I became a fully edged monster once a month. It seemed impossible that I would be able to come to Hogwarts. Other parents weren't likely to want their children exposed to me. But then Dumbledore became Headmaster, and he was sympathetic. He said that as long as we took certain precautions, there was no reason I shouldn't come to school..." Lupin sighed, and looked directly at Harry. "I told you, months ago, that the Whomping Willow was planted the year I came to Hogwarts. The truth is that it was planted because I came to Hogwarts. This house,” Lupin looked miserably around the room, "the tunnel that leads to it — they were built for my use. Once a month, I was smuggled out of the castle, into this place, to transform. The tree was placed at the tunnel mouth to stop anyone coming across me while I was dangerous."
Harry couldn't see where this story was going, bur he was listening raptly all the same. He didn’t understand how this connected to everything, but Lupin was good at telling stories.
"My transformations in those days were — were terrible. It is very painful to turn into a werewolf. I was separated from humans to bite, so I bit and scratched myself instead. The villagers heard the noise and the screaming and thought they were hearing particularly violent spirits. Dumbledore encouraged the rumor... Even now, when the house has been silent for years, the villagers don't dare approach it. But apart from my transformations, I was happier than I had ever been in my life. For the first time ever, I had friends, three great friends. Sirius Black... Peter Pettigrew... and, of course, your father, Harry — James Potter. Now, my three friends could hardly fail to notice that I disappeared once a month. I made up all sorts of stories. I told them my mother was ill, and that I had to go home to see her. ... I was terrified they would desert me the moment they found out what I was. But of course, they, like you, Hermione, worked out the truth. And they didn't desert me at all. Instead, they did something for me that would make my transformations not only bearable, but the best times of my life. They became Animagi."
"My dad too?" said Harry, astounded.
"Yes, indeed," said Lupin. "It took them the best part of three years to work out how to do it. Your father and Sirius here were the cleverest students in the school, and lucky they were, because the Animagus transformation can go horribly wrong — one reason the Ministry keeps a close watch on those attempting to do it. Peter needed all the help he could get from James and Sirius. Finally, in our fifth year, they managed it. They could each turn into a different animal at will."
"But how did that help you?" said Hermione, sounding puzzled.
"They couldn't keep me company as humans, so they kept me company as animals," said Lupin. "A werewolf is only a danger to people. They sneaked out of the castle every month under James's Invisibility Cloak. They transformed. Peter, as the smallest, could slip beneath the Willow's attacking branches and touch the knot that freezes it. They would then slip down the tunnel and join me. Under their influence, I became less dangerous. My body was still wolfish, but my mind seemed to become less so while I was with them. Well, highly exciting possibilities were open to us now that we could all transform. Soon we were leaving the Shrieking Shack and roaming the school grounds and the village by night. Sirius and James transformed into such large animals, they were able to keep a werewolf in check. I doubt whether any Hogwarts students ever found out more about the Hogwarts grounds and Hogsmeade than we did. ... And that's how we came to write the Marauder's Map, and sign it with our nicknames. I am Moony. Sirius is Padfoot. Peter is Wormtail. James was Prongs."
“You wrote the - ?" Harry began, but Hermione cut him off.
"That was still really dangerous! Running around in the dark with a werewolf. What if you'd given the others the slip, and bitten somebody?"
"A thought that still haunts me," said Lupin heavily. "And there were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless — carried away with our own cleverness. I sometimes felt guilty about betraying Dumbledore's trust, of course... he had admitted me to Hogwarts when no other headmaster would have done so, and he had no idea I was breaking the rules he had set down for my own and others' safety. He never knew I had led three fellow students into becoming Animagi illegally. But I always managed to forget my guilty feelings every time we sat down to plan our next month’s adventure. And I haven’t changed…” Lupin's face had hardened, and there was self-disgust in his voice.
"All this year, I have been battling with myself, wondering whether I should tell Dumbledore that Sirius was an Animagus, but didn’t do it. Why? Because I was too cowardly. It would have meant admitting that I'd betrayed his trust while I was at school, admitting that I'd led others along with me... and Dumbledore's trust has meant everything to me. He let me into Hogwarts as a boy, and he gave me a job when I have been shunned all my adult life, unable to find paid work because of what I am. And so I convinced myself that Sirius was getting into the school using dark arts he learned from Voldemort, that being an Animagus had nothing to do with it... so, in a way, Snape's been right about me all along."
"Snape?" said Black harshly, bringing his attention back to the conversation instead of looking at the piano. "What's Snape got to do with it?"
"He's here, Sirius," said Lupin. "He's teaching here as well." He looked back at Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "Professor Snape was at school with us. He fought very hard against my appointment to the Defense Against the Dark Arts job. He has been telling Dumbledore all year that I am not to be trusted. He has his reasons. You see, Sirius here played a trick on him which nearly killed him, a trick which involved me —" Black made a derisive noise.
"It served him right," he sneered. "Sneaking around, trying to find out what we were up to ... hoping he could get us expelled…”
"Severus was very interested in where I went every month." Lupin told Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "We were in the same year, you know, and we — er — didn't like each other very much. He especially disliked James. Jealous, I think, of James's talent on the Quidditch field ... anyway Snape had seen me crossing the grounds with Madam Pomfrey one evening as she led me toward the Whomping Willow to transform. Sirius thought it would be — er — amusing, to tell Snape all he had to do was prod the knot on the tree trunk with a long stick, and hed be able to get in after me. Well, of course, Snape tried it - if he’d got as far as this house, he'd have met a fully grown werewolf — but your father, who’d heard what Sirius had done, went after Snape and pulled him back, at great risk to his life... Snape glimpsed me, though, at the end of the tunnel. He was forbidden by Dumbledore to tell anybody, but from that time on he knew what I was. ..
"So that's why Snape doesn't like you," said Harry slowly, "because he thought you were in on the joke?"
“Exactly.” Lupin nodded. He was about tot continue when Ron interrupted.
“I’m sorry. This is a good story, but how did he even know Peter was Scabbers. I mean” He looked to Harry and Hermione for support, “Pettigrew could turn into a rat, but there are millions of rats. How’s he supposed to know which one he’s after if he was locked up in Azkaban?”
"You know, Sirius, that's a fair question," said Lupin, turning to Black and frowning slightly. "How did you find out where he was?"
Black put one of his clawlike hands inside his robes and took out his wand. There was no spell, but suddenly a piece of paper appeared in Black’s other hand. He held it out to show the others. It was the photograph of Ron and his family that had appeared in the Daily Prophet the previous summer, and there, on Ron's shoulder, was Scabbers.
"How did you get this?" Lupin asked Black, thunderstruck.
"Fudge," said Black. "When he came to inspect Azkaban last year, he gave me his paper. And there was Peter, on the front page... on this boy's shoulder... I knew him at once ... how many times had I seen him transform? And the caption said the boy would be going back to Hogwarts... to where Harry was..."
"My God," said Lupin softly, staring from Sirius to the picture in the paper and back again. "His front paw…”
"What about it?" said Ron defiantly.
"He's got a toe missing," said Black.
"Of course," Lupin breathed. "So simple... so brilliant... he cut it off himself?"
"Just before he transformed," said Black. "When I cornered him, he yelled for the whole street to hear that I'd betrayed Lily and James. Then, before I could curse him, he blew apart the street with the wand behind his back, killed everyone within twenty feet of himself— and sped down into the sewer with the other rats..”
"Didn't you ever hear, Ron?" said Lupin. "The biggest bit of Peter they found was his finger. He was in your house for twelve years… Didn't you ever wonder why he was living so long?"
“I thought — I thought we’d been taking good care of him.” said Ron solemnly.
“He wasn’t looking too good though, was he?" said Lupin. “Didn’t you say he’d been losing weight ever since he heard Sirius was on the loose again. ..."
“I assumed he’d been scared of Hermione’s mad cat.” said Ron, he then looked to Hermione. “Sorry about this year. I guess Crookshanks was a hero after all.”
“It’s ok. I’m sorry for calling you all those names.” She smiled at him. Harry prayed that they were finally done with this fight for good.
“This cat.” Black began, “Is it a ginger half-kneazle?” Everyone looked at him confused. Eventually Lupin spoke up.
“You know it?” Lupin asked.
"He's the most intelligent of his kind I've ever met. He recognized Peter for what he was right away. And when he met me, he knew I was no dog. It was a while before he trusted me.... Finally, I managed to communicate to him what I was after, and he's been helping me…”
"What do you mean?" breathed Hermione.
"He tried to bring Peter to me, but couldn't. So he stole the passwords into Gryffindor Tower for me. As I understand it, he took them from a boy's bedside table..."
Everything Harry was hearing was absurd. and yet.
"But Peter got wind of what was going on and ran for it..." croaked Black. "That cat — Crookshanks, did you call him? — told me Peter had left blood on the sheets. I supposed he bit himself... Well, faking his own death had worked once... Anyways, it took a lot of teamwork with the cat, but eventually we found that little rat. The cat then convinced me to turn him in instead of killing him, like I killed your parents.”
These words jolted Harry to his senses.
“Pettigrew confessed to being the secret keeper, so how did you kill my parents?” he said furiously.
"Harry.. I as good as killed them," he croaked. "I persuaded Lily and James to change to Peter at the last moment, persuaded them to use him as Secret-Keeper instead of me.... I'm to blame, I know it. ... The night they died, I'd arranged to check on Peter, make sure he was still safe, but when I arrived at his hiding place, he’d gone. Yet there was no sign of a struggle. It didn't feel right. I was scared. I set out for your parents' house straight away. And when I saw their house, destroyed, and their bodies... I realized what Peter must've done... what I'd done…”
His voice broke.
Once again they were brought to silence. Harry had no idea what to say nor what to do in this situation. Luckily, Hermione jumped in.
"Er — Mr. Black — Sirius?" said Hermione. Black jumped at being addressed like this and stared at Hermione as though he had never seen anything quite like her. "If you don't mind me asking, how— how did you get out of Azkaban, if you didn't use Dark Magic?" Black was frowning slightly at Hermione, but not as though he were annoyed with her. He seemed to be pondering his answer.
"I don't know how I did it," he said slowly. "I think the only reason I never lost my mind is that I knew I was innocent. That wasn't a happy thought, so the dementors couldn't suck it out of me… but it kept me sane and knowing who I am.. helped me keep my powers... so when it all became too much... I could transform in my cell... become a dog. Dementors can't see, you know..." He swallowed. "They feel their way toward people by feeding off their emotions.... They could tell that my feelings were less — less human, less complex when I was a dog... but they thought, of course, that I was losing my mind like everyone else in there, so it didn't trouble them. But I was weak, very weak, and I had no hope of driving them away from me without a wand... But then I saw Peter in that picture... I realized he was at Hogwarts with Harry... perfectly positioned to act, if one hint reached his ears that the Dark Side was gathering strength again... ready to strike at the moment he could be sure of allies... and to deliver the last Potter to them. If he gave them Harry, who’d dare say he’d betrayed Lord Voldemort? He’d be welcomed back with honors… So you see, I had to do something. I was the only one who knew Peter was still alive. ..."
Harry remembered what Mr. Weasley had told Mrs. Wealsey. "The guards say he's been talking in his sleep ... always the same words... 'He's at Hogwarts.’”
"It was as if someone had lit a fire in my head, and the dementors couldn't destroy it.... It wasn't a happy feeling... it was an obsession... but it gave me strength, it cleared my mind. So, one night when they opened my door to bring food, I slipped past them as a dog. ... It's so much harder for them to sense animal emotions that they were confused... I was thin, very thin... thin enough to slip through the bars.... I swam as a dog back to the mainland.... I journeyed north and slipped into the Hogwarts grounds as a dog. I've been living in the forest ever since, except when I came to watch the Quidditch, of course. You fly as well as your father did, Harry...." He looked at Harry, who did not look away.
"Believe me," croaked Black. "Believe me, Harry. I never betrayed James and Lily. I would have died before I betrayed them." And Harry believed him. Throat too tight to speak, he nodded.
Lupin started walking over to Black, but he stopped short when he reached the window.
“It’s late, we should get back to the castle so you don’t break curfew anymore than you already are.” Lupin smiled.
On the way through the tunnel, Hermione and Ron were the front with Lupin not far behind. Harry was a few paces behind with Black.
“So… you’re free now.” Said Harry.
"Yes... ," said Black. "But I'm also — 1 don't know if anyone ever told you — I'm your godfather."
"Yeah, I knew that," said Harry.
"Well... your parents appointed me your guardian," said Black stiffly. "If anything happened to them..” Harry waited. Did Black mean what he thought he meant? “I’ll understand, of course, if you want to stay with your aunt and uncle," said Black, "But ... well ... think about it. If you wanted a ... a different home..”
Some sort of explosion took place in the pit of Harry's stomach.
"What — live with you?" he said, accidentally cracking his head on a bit of rock protruding from the ceiling. "Leave the Dursleys?"
"Of course, I thought you wouldn't want to," said Black quickly. "I understand, I just thought I’d-“
"Are you insane?" said Harry, his voice easily as croaky as Black's. "Of course I want to leave the Dursleys! Have you got a house? When can I move in?"
Black turned right around to look at him. "You want to?" he said. "You mean it?"
"Yeah, I mean it!" said Harry. Black broke into a true smile. For a moment, Harry could see why his father liked this man so much. How alike they truly were.
They did not speak until they left the tunnel, Harry couldn’t help himself look to Hagrid’s hut. While he didn’t have any emotional connection to the hippogriff, he hated how distraught it made Hagrid.
“What’s wrong?” Black asked him in a soft voice Harry didn’t know he had.
“Buckbeaks going to be executed soon. I wish I could’ve helped Hagrid more.” He said. Black looked very confused and instantly looked to Professor Lupin for help.
“Buckbeak is a hippogriff that attacked Draco Malfoy. Lucious got all mad and complained to the ministry until the Minister sentenced the creature to death.” Lupin said calmly.
“I’ll just have Lucius call it off.” Black shrugged. Harry stopped.
“What?” He asked.
“You’re just going to ask Malfoy to stop and he will?” Ron questioned.
“Yeah, why not?” Black was way too nonchalant. Harry didn’t know what to say. He was so confused. Black looked around to all the confused looks. The man sighed. “My cousin is married to Malfoy and because my family is in a higher social class than Malfoy, I can easily get him to undo all this.”
“Really?!” Hermione gasped. When Black nodded, she immediately ran up to him and hugged him. Harry almost laughed at how uncomfortable Black looked. Lupin was beaming at the sight and Ron looked just as shocked as Black. Hermione hurriedly stopped looking very awkward as she muttered an apology. Black nodded and immediately moved closer to Lupin, who laughed at his friend.
As they walked back to the castle, Harry was very glad he needed his answers.