These Times Will Never Change
The heat of the summer sun was already blistering, as beads of sweat rolled down her back, her neck and her forehead, Nat already regretted putting on her jacket, a tattered Levi’s trucker jacket she found while looking through boxes of her dad’s old stuff in his room two summers ago, right after he died. She was mad at him back then, mad that he left her, mad at the choices he made, mad that he hurt her mom, but especially frustrated at the fact that it was all her fault. So, when she found his favorite jacket discarded in that box a few weeks later, she couldn’t help but make it her own, despite her anger, it gave her some kind of comfort.
At the moment however, she wished she had left it behind, it’s a Friday morning, it’s only been five days since summer vacation officially started yet the sun was unforgiving. With her bleach blonde shaggy hair sticking to her forehead and the back of her neck, she sat on the curb trying to come up with something to do. Since summer began, Nat hasn’t gone out of the house before 8 pm, she’d sleep most of the day and either stay cooped up in her room listening to music for the time she’s awake or go out to smoke up with her friends. Which wasn’t unlike her, for the past two years she’s become more of a recluse to her family then she ever been in her entire life, they barely saw her except for dinner and when she felt the need for a cuddle, so she’d go to the living room, pick up her three-year-old brother Rory and cuddle him on the couch until she felt better. Her sister was sick of it, sick of her wasting her time and rotting in her room, so today at eight thirty she came into Nat’s room, pulled the sheets off of her and told her to get out and do something with her day.
So here she was, sitting on the curb, squinting to keep the sun from her eyes, sweating her skin off, trying to think of something to pass the time. She was facing La Tejanita, a small store that sold Mexican food, not really a restaurant not really a convenience store, more of a deli, she always bought Mexican Coca Cola from there, it just tasted better than American Coke, that was pure fact. She rolled her skateboard under her feet back and forth while she downed what was left of her soda. She got up to discard of the bottle, then got on her skateboard, decidedly headed towards Van’s -her best friend- house. If she had to suffer by staying outside, then she would drag him out to suffer with her. The two didn’t live that far from each other, well to be fair, the whole town of Wiskayok, New Jersey is not that big to begin with.
Skating made Nat feel better, building up speed made her cool off. She had her earbuds in, listening to one of her playlists. Making them was one of her specialties, or so she claimed. Cruising through the streets, everything was familiar, from the endless potholes in back streets, to the kids playing soccer in the middle of the street, everyone knew everyone, it wasn’t a tight-knit community but it was a small enough town to be familiar with everyone in it, so when the house three doors over from Van’s house was sold to someone from out of town, everyone knew about it, and everyone knew the family was coming from California and that they were moving here at the beginning of summer.
So, when she came to a slow stop in front of Van’s house, she could see the U-Haul truck parked a little further down the street, she saw people moving boxes into the house. A brunette in a flannel came out of the house, heading to the truck, Nat pulled out her earphones and she could hear a woman calling from inside the house. When she saw the older woman, who she figured was the girl’s mom come out of the house and look her way, she quickly averted her gaze and finally went up to Van’s house. With her skateboard in hand, she entered the house without so much as a thought of knocking, as their families were so used to the other barging in at any given time of the day.
As she walked into the house, she wasn't surprised by the fact that Van's mom was asleep on the couch, a view that was all too familiar to her. She headed to her best friend’s room, as she opened the door she could barely see anything in the room, if the door was closed, it’d be pitch black, considering his blackout curtains. Nat sighed, leaving her skateboard at the door, she took off her jacket and dropped it on her board. She felt the coolness as the air finally met her back making her realize her shirt was sticking to her. She slowly walked into the room, stumbling a few times over god knows what until she reached the window. She pulled the curtains up letting the sunlight in, she could finally see around the room, she saw the lump under the covers on the bed, unaffected by the blaring sun now invading his room. She walked to his closet, opened the door and pulled a clean shirt out, a blue and white baseball tee and put it on to replace the sweat-soaked one she was currently wearing.
Now that She solved that problem, she had to wake up her friend. Now, she could either waste her time trying to wake him up like a normal person, which won’t work. Or, she could use a tested and proven method. She got on the bed and stood behind the lump with her back to the wall, looking down she couldn’t tell his head from his ass, she placed her foot gently in the center of the mess and gave it a good hard shove, Van yelped as he fell to the floor with a loud thud. Nat squinted and bit her cheek, trying not to laugh. She watched as the boy with red messy bedhead turn to lay on his back in pain and confusion, as soon as his eyes caught hers, she burst out laughing causing him to burst out laughing.
“you’re a dick” Van said with a voice thick with sleep, sitting up on the floor, unbothered by the fact that he’s just in his boxers considering the two of them basically grew up together and took showers together as kids.
“Alex woke me up at eight, said to go out and find something to do, so here I am.” Nat said, dropping down to sit on the bed, looking down at her friend.
Van yawned while he ran a hand through his knotted hair which reached down to his shoulders, “your sister is so annoying. I fell asleep at like six thirty bro, me and Travis took down Mari’s team like eight times in-a-row, it was gnarly” he stood and gave a sigh of tired laughter as he stretched.
Nat’s eyebrows rose, she too was tired, and it showed in the deep dark circles under her eyes, but to be fair, those have been present on her used-to-be baby face since two summer ago, when… anyways, Nat was tired. “sounds devastating for Mari though, didn’t she put you onto that game?” She asked, laying back staring at the ceiling while Van put on some clothes for the day.
Van smirked cynically as he pulled up his black basketball shorts, “that’s what makes it even better, dude,” He said, and Nat could hear the smirk in his voice. “anyways, what’s the plan?” he asked, rummaging through his closet.
“dunno, we could go up to Dogwood and skate or something,” Nat said distractedly, suddenly very intrigued with the Star Wars figurines on the headboard. She was about to reach for Darth Vader when she felt a dip in the bed, she looked up to see Van all dressed. Taking a closer look, she realizes what he’s wearing, “isn’t this my shirt?” she said tugging at the Deftones shirt.
Van, giving her a deadpan look, glanced down at her shirt and looked back up and raised his eyebrows, Nat raised her hands in surrender, “fair enough.” she said nodding.
“I’m gonna go piss and then we can go grab breakfast 'fore we do anything else, yeah?” he asked halfway out the door. Nat dropped back down on the mattress, snatching Vader from his station, “sure.” she said, staring the evil guy straight in the helmet.
*******
As soon as the two left Van’s house, Nat remembered what she saw before she went in, she paused and smacked Van with the back of her hand, “dude, they moved in,” she said nodding towards the U-Haul that was still there, however, the truck door was rolled down but there were some boxes littering the front lawn, the flannel girl and her mom gone.
“already?” Van said as they walked closer to the house in question, both carrying their own skateboard in hand, “did you see them?” he asked, pausing when they were close enough to see the house clearly.
“saw a girl, and the mom.” Nat said, already losing interest in the house after no one came out within the seconds they stood in front of it.
“was she hot?” Van asked.
“the mom?”
“the girl.”
“oh, I wasn’t close enough to see.”
“you dare me to go introduce myself?”
“no, that’s lame. And easy.”
Van turned to face Nat with a scowl accentuated by his thick eyebrows, “you’re no fun, you know that?” he grumbled childishly.
With a playful eye roll, Nat shoved him towards the house, “fine, go introduce yourself, big guy.” she said, snorting when Van took a step forward but immediately turned around to face her and walk back.
“they’re probably busy, just moved in and all,” Van tried to reason, he sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than Nat. She was staring at him with amusement as he stared down the street pretending not to notice when she suddenly felt eyes on her, she looked up at the house and made direct eye contact with the culprit. The girl about their age was standing on the lawn in front of one of the boxes like she was about to pick it up before she saw them standing there. She had wavy brown hair, brown eyes and pouty lips, dressed in a flannel and jeans. She didn’t smile, she just stared at Nat and for that, Nat didn’t smile either and stared right back.
“holy shit, you didn’t tell me she's right there,” Nat heard from besides her, she closed her eyes in embarrassment at how loud Van was, she turned to him and smacked him upside the head, he whined as his hand went up, rubbing the sore spot. When she looked back to the house she caught the girl entering the house with the box in her arms. “she’s pretty,” she could hear the implication in his tone.
She glanced at him from the corner of her eye and caught him doing the same, except he had a smirk on his face, “don’t be stupid,” she reproached while she shook her head laughing. She got on her board and pushed off, “race you to Jimmy’s.” She yelled back at him, already generating speed. Van let out a teasing laugh while he got on his board to catch up to his best friend.
After the pair shared a breakfast combo, they rode up to Dogwood Avenue, it was one of the only three “rich” streets in the whole town, mostly consisting of white people, the other two were Cottonwood and Birch. In the one rich neighborhood in Wiskoyak, existed the only skate park in town, thankfully it was on the very edge of it, so they didn’t even have to go through the neighborhood to get to it, they could just round it from the outside. The skate park didn’t even exist until Nat and Van were in fourth Grade, two high schoolers who lived in a house on Dogwood, the one closest to the park, saw the empty lot behind their house and begged their dad to turn it into a skate park for them, they were filthy rich, so it was no problem for their dad. No one was allowed in it when it was done, it was exclusive to the boys and their friends and the rich kids. But when they moved out of state four years ago, the county got ownership of the park and made it available for public access.
The park was nearly empty, there were three other people skating, and two kids maybe seven or eight trying to ride their razor scooters down one ramp over and over and a small group of fourteen-year-old girls laying on the grass outlining the park, listening to music and watching them skate. They spent most of the day there, they had brought drinks and smokes with them when they passed by the corner store after getting breakfast. They skated, laid down on the grass and drank their drinks to cool off, a girl from the fourteen-year-olds that were watching them asked Nat to teach her how to stand on a skateboard, Nat knew she was trying to flirt but didn’t see the harm in teaching her anyways. When the board slipped from under her and Nat caught her, the girl blushed, and Nat heard her friends giggling when she walked back to them.
At around five pm, Nat's shirt was soaked in sweat, discarded somewhere on the grass, both her and Van had their hair sticking to their face and neck uncomfortably. The park was mostly empty now, everyone who had been there when they first got there had left and were replaced by Melissa and Gen, two girls that they hung out with, mostly to get high and skate.
Nat was doing a run while Van sat on his board near the grass, she joined him when she was done, throwing herself down on the grass breathless. “God it feels like I’m breathing in an oven.” she said as she reached into the plastic bag for a water bottle only to find they’re all empty, making her groan.
“I wanna sit in front of my fan, airing out my balls and everything.” Van said wiping the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand, causing Nat to grimace and laugh. "you're fucking nasty."
Nat got up and nodded towards the road, “let’s get outta here, we can chill at mine.” she offered Van a hand and pulled him up swiftly. She shoved the sweaty shirt in the plastic bag and the two head towards Nat’s house. On the way there they saw a lot more kids their age finally out and about then there was in the morning. They passed by a couple pairings of their classmates, some of which they nodded to, some of which they ignored.
They barged in through the front door, boards in hands, laughing about some mindless thing. They discard their boards next to the door and immediately head towards the kitchen, as soon as they enter it, a tiny voice yells out “bug!” followed by the sound of little pitter-pattering footsteps. A miniscule version of Nat jumped up in her arms and wrapped itself around her upper body.
“whoa! Big scary bubba, you almost made me fall,” Nat said, holding her little brother closer, he pulled away with a toothy smile. He turned to Van and stared at him, his smile toning down immediately, causing Nat to burst out in laughter and Van waved at him pathetically, “hi Rory.” He said approaching the little boy, who jumped down from Nat’s arms, ran and hid behind his mother.
Nat hadn’t realized her mom was standing at the stove, a rare sight. Nat's demeanor didn’t change but she internally checked out. Which was what happened whenever she was around her family, she hated it and wished she could just get over whatever was holding her back from opening up to her family and be close to them like she used to, but she just couldn’t.
“hey kids,” her mother said, stirring something in the pot over the stove with a glass of wine in her other hand.
“hi Vera,” he said, a bit distracted by the smell of mac & cheese making his stomach grumble. Van’s mom always worked late, so for the most part he either ordered pizza or heated up some food his mom made the day before, or he came over to Nat’s and ate with their family.
Nat’s mother let out a tired cough, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “your sister is just getting groceries, she'll be home any minute” she said bending down to pick up Rory who was peeking out from behind her at Van. Nat nodded, “alright mom." Nat grabbed Van and pulled him to her room while her mom downed the rest of her wine, not glancing once at her daughter.
Nat threw the plastic bag containing her sweaty shirt on the floor and threw herself down on the beanbag not bothering to put a shirt on, while Van took the chair at her desk. Her room was a mess, clothes and random objects on the floor, her electric guitar somewhere under all the chaos, the bed, which had no bed-frame because she threw it out last summer, is left unmade, her desk covered in notebooks and papers filled with sketches with empty soda bottles all over it. Her walls were littered with her favorite bands and anything she found remotely interesting. Her closet door open, because it has been broken for two years and she has no intention of fixing it. Alex gave up on telling her to clean it up, since her mom was always too busy drinking to care and Nat insisted that the state of filth was a form of self-expression.
Nat is checked out, picking at the seams of her beanbag, lost in thought, Van looks at her sympathetically.
"you okay, dude?" he asks
"yeah fine," Nat's first instinct is to be bitter and bottle up, it takes her a second to take down the walls for her best friend, "I just.. I don't know, it's hard, always seeing her like this.."
Van furrows his brows, this is where they're most alike, him and Nat. Drunken, distant, destructive mothers.
"I know, you can't blame yourself, though" even he gets choked up thinking about what has gone on in this very house.
Nat gives him a pointed look. He shakes his head, "I know what you think, but you're wrong. And I'll always remind you of that. It wasn't your fault, neither is your mom's drinking, none of it is, you were a kid, we're still kids, man. It's not our fault."
Nat lets it go, decides not to argue, if she blames herself for this then she might as well be blaming Van for his own hardships and that's simply not true. Nat leans forward, placing her head against Van's knee. "you're right." Van pats her on the back. "I'm always right" she can hear the smirk in his voice.
“I think it being summer isn’t helping my mental state,” Nat said it with a soft laugh to hide the harsh truth of the words. She got up ignoring the semi-sympathetic look Van was giving her and went to the closet to get into some clean clothes. She took off her pants and put on some grey sweat shorts and a plain white tee she picked up from the floor after sniffing it. “I need like, a distraction or something, some way to pass the time so I don’t sink back into my own head, you know?” she said as she leaned back against the wall, crossing her arms.
“yeah…” Van said, running a hand through his hair, “which sucks cause there’s literally nothing to do in this fucking town,” he sighed. Nat pushed off the wall and walked towards him, deliberately punching him on the arm really hard. “ow!” he said, kicking her thigh causing her to stumble.
“least I got you to bully all summer,” she said laughing as Van rubbed the sore spot on his arm. The two talked for a while about nonsense and listened to music, Van was a nerd when it came to video games and movies, Nat was into everything music, niche bands and even dabbles in writing her own.
Eventually Alex called for dinner, she had brought take out. Her mother barely ate anything, and mostly just dazed off, her sister tried to make awkward small talk with her which she didn’t know how to answer but having Van there immediately smoothed things over since the boy didn’t know how to shut up. After dinner, they head out again, mostly just cruising through the streets on their boards, nowhere to go, they decidedly head to Ole Jax, which had the best floats in town.
As the two entered the establishment, they’re immediately hit with the loud noise of families dining and the smell of deep-fried food. They recognize almost everyone, except for the few truck-drivers and passer-byers, no one came to their town for a good time, it was most definitely just a pit stop or for work. As they made their way towards the counter, a pair of eyes from the corner followed them without their knowledge.
They sat on the stools with their skateboards leaning against the counter, when a frizzy head of curly hair and big glasses, wearing the same blue and white shirt the other waiters have on, came up to them from behind the counter, her eyes not leaving Nat, and the overly-confident zealous smile not leaving her face. “hey guys,” she said, looking between the two friends, then she turned to Nat and leaned on the counter, resting her face in hand, “hi Nat,” she ogled at her, biting her lip.
Van rolled his eyes, Nat blinked at the girl, "Misty," she said it so softly, "how are you?" she asked with a hint of a smile, maintaining eye contact with the girl. Van knew whatever had gone down between the two was purely sexual. Nat hasn't had a romantic thing with anyone since the end of freshmen year, when Van convinced her to shoot her shot with this one girl named Leila. She was two years older than them and Van said it as a joke because Nat couldn't stop staring at the girl whenever she passed them by in the hallway at school, he was sure the girl would say no, because she was a junior and they were freshmen, and the girl was like insanely attractive.
But to everyone's surprise, she was delighted when Nat asked her out, they went out for three months and then when Nat's dad died, Nat abruptly cut things off with her, Van slowly began to realize why as time went by and Nat began pushing everyone in her life away, Van stuck around despite how hard she tried to push him away, truthfully she was thankful for his stubbornness.
"I'm good, you look good Nat," the girl flirted shamelessly, a gentle amused smile tugged at Nat's lips, she was in a white tee and sweat shorts, she knew her hair was gross from skating all day and sweating. Misty cleared her throat and pulled out a little notepad, "so, what can I get you guys?" she asked, seemingly innocent.
Van almost gauged his eyes out at the interaction, although pleased it was finally over.
"vanilla hard dip, please." He said with a nod and then turned around to examine the people at the place, wanting nothing to do with the two horn dogs eye fucking each other.
"I'll have a root beer float," Nat said with a charming smile. Misty nodded enthusiastically, seemingly flustered, "coming right up," she turned the smile and turned around to prepare their order, Nat watched her for a moment then turned to Van.
"you two definitely fucked," he stated without a glance at his best friend. Nat shrugged, "we made out once and now she won't stop giving me free sweet treats". He groans and ignores her, nodding towards a table at the corner, "newcomers are here," he said, causing Nat to follow his line of vision. Her eyes landed on a brunette set of heads, sat at a corner table eating their dinner, one of which was looking straight at her and Van. "why is she staring so hard?" he questioned.
Nat looked her over, the girl was wearing the same flannel as earlier with a jean jacket over it now considering the nights tend to get chilly despite the absolute blatant heatstroke they were hit with when the sun is out. Nat turned around to find Misty walking back to them with their order, she put them down and told them it's on the house with a wink and walked off to tend to other customers. While Van was halfway through demolishing his ice cream cone and Nat taking her time with her float, she glanced back at the new girl, catching her staring again, "okay, she's kinda freaking me out," she whispered to her best friend, he looked at her, licked the ice cream off his lips, then turned to look at the girl, a look of confusion took over his features.
"they're not even there anymore," Van muffled after shoving the rest of the ice cream in his mouth. Nat looked back and indeed the table was empty, she hummed in acknowledgment and turned around to finish her drink, losing interest. A few moments later a text from Kevyn asking them if they want to come over and smoke up in his basement got them moving again, they thanked Misty for the free dessert and made their way out of the store.
The two spent the entire night at Kevyn's house playing Mortal Kombat and smoking bowls. Kevyn, their friend slash dealer, is a pretty chill guy, he liked skateboarding and photography, he didn't like hard drugs or alcohol, he liked the natural stuff, he was openly bi without an ounce of shame in him, and he clearly genuinely loved being alive. Nat and Van liked hanging with him, he seemed like an old soul, with killer weed.
They left a bit before sunrise and went to Nat's house, trying to make as little noise as they could, they tip toed to Nat's room and climbed out the window onto the roof and watched the sunrise, they did this whenever they slept over at each other's house, they'd sit shoulder to shoulder on the rooftop, not smoking, not listening to music, sometimes not even talking, just fully immersed in each other's presence and the sunrise. The first time they did it was the summer after fifth grade, it was Nat's birthday and she had asked her parents if Van could sleep over and they agreed. It wasn't their first sleep over, but birthday sleepovers meant no curfew, so Nat was excited to play video games all night with her best friend.
When the two were coming down from their sugar rush that day, with red eyes from staring at the TV all night, the sun was starting to come up, so the two of them clambered up on Nat's roof, and watched their first sunrise together, they watched as the sun lit up their small town and how it reached the furthest sides of the horizon, something in their little newly 11 and almost 11 year old brains realized how big the world is, more so, they realized how small they are in all of it.
They didn't talk much, Van laid his head on Nat's shoulder until the sun fully rose then the two of them climbed back in and were out like a light. Unfortunately for them, Rory came bursting in almost three hours later at around 9 am, screaming for them to wake up, and he woke up Nat just fine, considering she was a bit of a light sleeper but Van on the other hand, didn't move an inch. Nat, barely awake, told Rory to jump on her friend so he'd wake up, her little brother not hesitating for one second plunged right onto his stomach, resulting in a deep groan, a giggle, and hysterical laughter filling the messy room.