Who wants to be Regulus Black?
Ever since his little brother was born, Sirius had felt a connection to him immediately. Staring into his brother’s blue-ish grey eyes, Sirius knew this tiny potato-looking child would be his best friend.
When Regulus was two years old, Walburga allowed Sirius to watch over him alongside his cousins - Bellatrix, Andromeda, and Narcissa - as long as they promised to be careful with the toddler. Admittedly, Sirius threw a fit when Bellatrix was tasked to carry Regulus around as she was the oldest and most responsible of the group. His tantrum resulted in a firm smack to the back of his head by Walburga as well as a stern look from Orion.
“Behave, Sirius.” Walburga hissed at him before hurrying the children out of the house and into the garden out of the way.
The five children walk out into the garden, Sirius hovering around Bellatrix like a fly, he didn’t trust her with his baby brother and was certain something would happen to him. Andromeda and Narcissa merely smiled at how protective he was and led them to the bandstand gazebo at the bottom of the garden, it was cascaded in vines and greenery, the white paint chipping along the bannisters from years of use. Inside was a table and chairs, a panic basket left on the table for them to sustain themselves over the lunch period.
Sirius sat down and demanded Bellatrix hand Regulus over, Bellatrix scoffs and haphazardly throws the toddler into Sirius’ arms. The two girls gasp and reach to soften the toddler’s fall but his knee hits against the arm of the chair and his forehead smacks against Sirius’ shoulder. Immediately tears began to fall from Regulus’ eyes, the pain was overwhelming as Sirius held him tight and rubbed his back gently, attempting to soothe the boy’s tears away.
“Bella!” Andromeda yelled, furious with her older sister as she knelt beside the chair, softly rubbing the red bump on Regulus’ knee. “What has gotten into you?” She exclaimed, glaring at Bellatrix. Narcissa jumps up and wipes Regulus’ tears away with a tissue from her pocket. The poor boy was sobbing in his brother’s arms and Narcissa had no idea how else to help him. She felt guilty, the burn of tears behind her eyes forced her to blink a few times to keep them at bay.
“Oh, stop crying Cissy,” Bella scoffs, crossing her arms over her chest as she gives Narcissa the dirtiest look she had ever mustered. The younger girl gasps softly, a single tear rolling down her cheek. She hadn’t done anything, why was she being targeted?
“Leave her alone, Bella, just because you don’t have a heart.” Andromeda scolds, she scoops Regulus up by his armpits and gently bounces him on her hip, she had seen Aunt Walburga do it with Regulus at dinner parties when she thought no one was looking. The comforting motion caused Regulus to relax, his tears turned into sniffles and he nuzzles his little face into Andromeda’s neck. Sirius had reluctantly let go of Regulus and instead got up in Bellatrix’s face, glaring at her spitefully.
“You ever touch him again and I’ll avada you.” He threatens, he had no idea what avada was but he knew it was awful because his parents forbid him from talking about it. By the way the sisters gasp lightly, he assumes it’s worse than he thought.
Walburga found them later that afternoon, a tense atmosphere surrounded them until Regulus ran over to his mother with a grin and clung to her dress. She gives a soft smile at the little boy before staring at the others stoically. “Your father wants you all indoors now.” Was all she said before scoping Regulus up and walking back into the house. She never noticed his wounds as far as Regulus remembered, but the new scar on Sirius’ hand was suspiciously coincidental.
Regulus was only four when his family's true colours emerged. His cousins had visited and they were all hurried away by his mother into the garden once more. Sirius was constantly arguing with Bellatrix as they walked through the lavish garden, petty things that were purely to get on each other's nerves. Regulus was holding both Andromeda and Narcissa's hands, his smaller, chubbier hands gently clasped between the girls' larger, more delicate ones. They walked slightly behind his older cousin and his brother.
Every so often Regulus would trip, the loose rocks of the garden walkways causing precarious tripping hazards, but thankfully, Andromeda and Narcissa refused to let him fall. Instead, they giggled and ruffled his perfectly styled hair with affection he had only ever received from Sirius.
"Careful, Reggie," Andromeda would tell him, a nurturing warmth in her tone, "We wouldn't want an injury, would we?"
"You'll be alright, Regulus," Narcissa would add, smiling gracefully at him, "We won't let you fall."
When they emerged from the pristine hedges surrounding the garden, finding themselves in the midst of a small wooded area, the trickle of a lake created a soothing melody in Regulus' ears. They pause at the bank of the lake, Bellatrix looks at it, then at Sirius, then at Regulus. A twisted smile breaks across her lips as she picks Regulus up, much to the displeasure of Andromeda and Narcissa.
"What are you doing?" Sirius asks sceptically, not trusting his cousin with his little brother, he felt something was off and he did not like it.
"Oh, just a bit of fun, Sirius, lighten up." Bellatrix replies, her voice light and playful to reassure Regulus, but Sirius heard the malicious undertones. Bellatrix walks over to the lake and stands on the edge, pointing out different things to Regulus and telling him what they are. "And that is where the man-eating squid lives." She smirks at Regulus' fearful expression, his tiny hands gripping her blouse tighter. Bellatrix adjusts her grip on Regulus, her cold hands under his armpits as she holds him over the lake. Andromeda gasps softly.
"Bella, don't hold him over the lake, that's dangerous!" She exclaims, fear etched into her voice, she takes strides over to her sister, preparing for the worst.
Sirius glares at his cousin and, too, steps forward. "Put him down, Bella." He demands sternly, his countenance similar to that of Orion when scolding his children for petty nonsense.
Bella scoffs, the smirk still carved into her features, "I'm not going to drop him," She replies, "I'm going to throw him." And with that, Bellatrix throws the four-year-old into the lake, watching him gasp and flail in the frigid waters.
"Reggie!" Sirius cries out, "He can't swim, you idiot! What were you thinking!" He yells at his cousin before jumping into the lake and securing his little brother in his arms. Andromeda immediately grabs a long branch and holds it out for Sirius to grab hold of, pulling the two boys back to the edge.
Narcissa was frozen, her delicate hand over her mouth, her eyes wide in distress. Her sister was cruel, yes, but she didn't think she was pure evil. She watched in horror as Sirius pulls Regulus onto the bank, the four-year-old barely breathing carved into her mind for eternity. She rushed over and kneeled beside Regulus, Sirius was yelling and screaming in panic whilst Andromeda began chest compressions to expel the water from Regulus' lungs. Bellatrix held no remorse, stood behind the group with her arms crossed and a smug smirk on her lips. She was deranged, Narcissa was sure.
Little coughs brought Narcissa's attention back to Regulus, the young boy hacks up the water and lays on his side as it leaves his body. The relief on Sirius' face was palpable, Narcissa pitied him and the trauma both boys will endure from this moment. Sirius tackles Regulus into a tight hug, refusing to let him go as he cries apologies in an endless loop.
Andromeda gets up and immediately confronts Bellatrix as well as her motives for the event. Bellatrix remained nonchalant and shrugs, "He has to learn somehow." was her only response.
Although Andromeda's anger was terrifying, nothing would compare to the terror and wrath that accumulated within Walburga Black at the recount of her son's potential death when they finally returned to the Black family house. No description of her face would ever do that expression justice, as she scoops her youngest son up and cradles him tight, yet her eyes... they remained fixed on the four children before her.
None of them would ever forget the eyes of Walburga Black, nor the pain of the cruciatus curse that followed.
It wasn’t the first and it definitely wasn’t the last time either of the boys would be scolded or punished using the cruciatus curse. It seemed that with every passing day, the boys’ parents grew colder and harsher, not an ounce of parental warmth or affection residing in their beings. Both brothers had different ways of dealing with this change, Regulus grew quiet and obedient, always abiding by his mother’s demands and making her proud. Whereas Sirius spoke out, he rebelled, earning him punishment after punishment until his body couldn’t function.
Regulus would never forget the worst of Sirius’ punishments. Three weeks before Christmas, Regulus had grown fond of the grand piano in the spare room that was always kept locked and wished every time he passed it to finally get the chance to play it for himself. He had snuck out of bed one night and tip-toed down the hallway, his socks padded his small feet against the carpet as he meandered the elongated corridors.
The old family portraits followed him as he passed, their eerie gaze piercing Regulus’ form as he sped up, eventually arriving outside the locked door. He had managed to pick-pocket the key from his mother’s trinket box, the cold metal burning into his palm as he pulled it from his pocket, slotting it into the keyhole. He turns it twice, it clicks. Excitement bubbles inside him as he twists the doorknob and enters, leaving the door slightly ajar.
Inside the room was everything Regulus had been dreaming about, a vast expanse of mahogany walls, half of which were covered in a faded grey wallpaper, adorned with pillars that tower of Regulus carved with the most detailed of accents. Regulus wanted to run his fingers over each groove and trace the curves of the carvings until he had committed them to memory. Regulus took note of the lack of personalisation to the room - no portraits, no artwork, only empty placeholders where those things may have once sat against the wall. The carpet beneath his feet held no divots or blemishes, clearly it hadn’t been walked across by anyone in the house, Regulus, admittedly, liked the green carpet, the fact that he was the first to walk on it and how pristine it had remained after so long without care. However, the central focus of the room was Regulus’ favourite, the grand piano, sleek and perfect condition. He walks over to the tall instrument and gently runs his fingers over the wooden veneer, smiling at the lack of splinters or imperfections.
Regulus climbs onto the plush bench and shuffles closer to the piano, lifting the heavy cover off the keys and brushing his fingers across their dust-less surfaces. He barely presses a key down when- “Reggie!” a voice whispers harshly. Regulus whips his head around to the door in surprise, Sirius was staring at him from the doorway, looking tired but progressively more alert at the sight of his brother in the room that was indirectly forbidden. “What are you doing?”
“I…” Regulus begins, looking from Sirius to the piano. “I felt it, the pull, I needed to know.”
“What pull?” Sirius asks, confusion in his tone as he walks over to his little brother, standing beside the bench.
“The pull of the piano, as if it were magic.” Regulus replies timidly, scared for his brother’s reaction, though Sirius did not reply, he hadn’t the chance. A larger hand grabs Sirius’ arm and drags him back harshly. It was their mother.
“What are you two doing in here?” She asks, seething with rage at their disobedience against their own mother’s words as well as their crime of theft. Her wrath never wavered at the sight of her children’s fear, she grabs Regulus’ hand, albeit gentler than Sirius’, and drags the two out of the room and down the stairs. She shoves them into the foyer and stands on the bottom step, glaring fiercely. Her arms crossed over her chest. “Speak. Now.”
Sirius looks at Regulus, the fear radiating from his younger brother tugged on his heart. He sighs and turns to his mother, head held high and posture perfectly straight as he had been taught. “It was my idea,” He says confidently, though his voice wavered ever so slightly in fear, “I wanted to know what was in the room, Regulus followed me to keep me out of trouble, he warned me not to enter.”
“Well then, at least one of you has common sense,” Walburga replies, her tone sharper than knives, cutting both boys without remorse. “Regulus, to bed, quickly.” Her nimble, pale finger points up the stairs sternly.
Regulus gasps softly and looks at Sirius with a guilty frown before running up the stairs. Instead of going to bed, he waits at the second floor landing, staring through the bannisters below. The guilt was eating away at him but he wouldn’t let his brother’s sacrifice be in vain. Regulus watched it all. His mother muttered something to Sirius, her tone harsh and disappointed, her posture never changed, remaining stiff and rigidly up-right. She draws her wand and points it at Sirius’ wavering form. Regulus was able to catch the spoken “crucio” by his mother and the screams of his older brother, its nightmare fuel, so guttural and raw. Regulus was rooted in place as he watched his older brother keel over and convulse relentlessly, the glow of the red spell reflected back into Regulus’ frightened eyes, burning the image of his brother’s agonising form into his mind. His soft gasp caused his mother to snap her head towards him.
“I said, to bed , Regulus!” She yells at him, causing him to whimper and rush up the remaining steps as his eyes burn with tears, rolling swiftly down his pale cheeks and dipping into the carpet below. Regulus felt pathetic, his brother had just taken a curse to protect him and Regulus cowered at the threatening tone of his mother? Weak.
He runs into his room, leaving the door slightly ajar, he climbs into his bed and pulls the silk grey blankets over his head. Taking a shaky breath, he sobs quietly into his favourite teddy bear, the one thing he had that was technically against the pureblood tradition. His sniffles and whimpers fill his ears as he attempts to sleep, but everytime he closes his eyes, he sees the image of his brother convulsing uncontrollably. He jumps when a soft hand touches his shoulder, he hadn’t heard Sirius enter the room, much less feel the dip of weight on his mattress. He instinctively throws his arms around the older boy and sobs into his shoulder, begging Sirius for forgiveness and apologising over and over.
Sirius smiles softly and hugs Regulus back tightly, rubbing the younger boy’s back in a comforting manner. He didn’t mind the soaked fabric of his shirt, or the fact that Regulus was snotting on him, he just wanted to comfort his brother, to ensure he was okay and not guilty for what happened.
Neither of them are sure when they fell asleep but they agreed late the next morning that it was absolutely necessary after the trauma they beheld.
Regulus was six years old when he discovered the history of their family tree. Sirius had led him to the room that withheld the tapestry of their family tree inside and Regulus was in awe of the sheer size of the tapestry. There were family members Regulus had never heard of labelled on the tapestry but the thing he noticed first was his own name above Sirius’. A grin splits across his face as he focuses on his name, “ Regulus Arcturus Black ”.
“This is our legacy, Reggie.” Sirius tells him, wrapping his arm around Regulus’ shoulders and pulling the boy into his side. Sirius’ gaze lingered on his own name just below Regulus’, he felt the pressure of being the heir weigh on his chest, he was the eldest boy of this generation, it was his duty to fulfil his tasks as the eldest. Sirius took a deep breath and looked down at his little brother, smiling at his awestruck expression. At least one of them was proud of their lineage.
Walburga and Orion enter the room and stand behind them. Walburga rests her hands on Regulus’ shoulders whilst Orion places one hand on Sirius’ shoulder, the other in his trouser pocket. Instinctively, Sirius straightened his posture, as much as he hated to admit it, his father’s influence had been drilled into him since birth and it would take a miracle to overcome it. Regulus gazes at Sirius, his eyes glazed with intrigue and assurance, he turns his gaze back to the tapestry, “ Regulus Arcturus Black ”.
“Indeed, Sirius, and you shall carry this legacy on for years to come.” Orion tells him, firm and proud. His hand squeezes Sirius’ shoulder, surprisingly gentle, but it did nothing to reassure Sirius, who’s teeth dug into his lip anxiously, Regulus could see his fist curl in the corner of his eye, nervously scratching the palm - something Regulus had noticed Sirius do often as a sign of his uncomfortability.
Regulus, taking pity on his older brother, looked up at his mother curiously. “What about me, mother?” Would he get his chance at a legacy? Would he always be second best?
Walburga’s sharp eyes lowered to her son, gaze softening ever so slightly, she knew her son was destined for great things, just as she had been promised as a young girl. Her hands gently squeeze Regulus’ shoulders, “You, Regulus, are destined for great things, you will make us proud, I’m sure of it.” She replies, and it was the only reply she gave him. Regulus’ eyes remained on her, it was reassurance but it wasn’t what he was hoping for. He wanted more, an explanation much like the one Sirius got, was his destiny to the family? Or something else?
“This family is your legacy as well, Regulus, you have as much duty to it as Sirius does.” Orion comments, to which Regulus nods. He would make his father proud, he would dedicate his life to his family.
He looks back at his picture on the tapestry and ponders how his life would differ from Sirius’.
And differ it did, whilst Sirius was being trained to uphold their family’s pureblood ideologies, Regulus was left to maintain his usual life. He was often separated from Sirius, forced to find enjoyment by himself and keep up with his studies. Through this, Regulus found closure within his family’s house elf - Kreature.
Regulus grew attached to Kreature as the elf did with him. Whilst Regulus disagreed with the mistreatment of Kreature by his parents, he had to admit that the elf was the closest thing he had to a pet, to a best friend outside of Sirius. Regulus cherished the house elf, defended him against Sirius’ insults and cared for him more than anyone else in the household did.
Kreature would often sneak treats to Regulus, particularly when the boy is sick or upset. The house elf memorised Regulus’ favourite desserts and ensured they were always stocked up or freshly made in case the young master ever needed comforting. The worst event Kreature remembered was after a pureblood ball that his master and mistress demanded their children attend.
Kreature remembers helping Regulus with his tie, listening to the boy complain about another ball he was being forced to attend. The boy had a deep hatred for balls, they were too stuffy and there were too many relatives that wanted to talk to him. He usually stayed glued to Sirius’ side, much to his father’s disdain. Kreature nods, hanging on every word Regulus spoke as his nimble fingers knot the tie to perfection.
Regulus shifts to the mirror and fixes his hair, neat with not a hair out of place, as it should be. He turns back to Kreature and smiles, “Thank you, Kreature, I’ll be going now.” He says a softness in his tone that is only ever shown to the people closest to the boy, such as Sirius, Narcissa and his mother, and now Kreature.
Kreature nods with a smile reserved only for Regulus, “Of course, young master Regulus.” The house elf then walks the boy to the foyer where the rest of his family is waiting, all dressed in their nicest outfits (of which Sirius hated with a passion). Regulus gives Kreature one last smile before descending the grand staircase and holding his mother’s hand as they apparate to the ball.
It was hours into the night when the family returned. Walburga held Regulus’ arm in a vice grip as she dragged him into the lounge. Sirius ran after them, begging his mother to ease up and let the poor boy go. Orion, being the last to enter the house, sighs in annoyance, he trails after his wife and their children into the lounge, fixing the cuffs of his dress shirt. Kreature, against his known rules as a house elf, followed without a sound. Regulus was on the floor, curled up into a foetal position as Walburga screamed at him for ruining their family’s reputation. Sirius was yelling at her to leave him alone and stop yelling at him for something so trivial.
“To bed, Sirius!” Orion yells at the older child, he was sitting on the couch, leaning back as if exhausted by the whole ordeal.
“No! Not without Regulus!” Sirius screams back, grabbing Walburga’s arm and attempting to pull her away from the small boy on the floor. Walburga throws Sirius aside, glaring at Regulus all the while.
“How dare you, Regulus Arcturus Black, how dare you disgrace our family name!” Walburga shrieks, the shrill of her voice causing Regulus to cover his ears with his hands as tears flow freely down his pale cheeks, his sobs silent, he knew better. “What were you thinking?”
“I’m sorry!” Regulus cries, trembling in fear at what his mother may construct as his punishment, maybe it would be a slap, maybe it would be a night without a meal, maybe the cruciatus curse again. Regulus was dreading whatever form his punishment may take.
Walburga drew her wand, her arm trembling slightly with the fear of actually putting her youngest through such pain but it was how she was taught, and Regulus knew he would suffer. He never heard her cast the spell, nor the panicked scream of Sirius as their father held him back, but he felt the pain.
God the pain. It was unbearable.
It blocked out his own shrieks of agony, he could barely feel anything besides the pain coursing through his body. Regulus had no recollection of when the pain ended or who took him to his room, but when he awoke, Sirius was arguing with Kreature at his bedside, so he assumed everything was back to normal.
“Master Regulus!” Kreature exclaims, rushing to Regulus’ side and placing the back of his hand onto the boy’s forehead, checking his temperature. “Master Regulus has been out for a few hours now, Kreature brought you your favourite - chocolate eclairs.” The house elf takes the plate from the bedside table and holds it closer to Regulus, urging the boy to take one.
Regulus does so, handling it with care to avoid the icing getting on his fingers, he hated having sticky fingers.
Sirius shoves Kreature aside and sits himself on the edge of Regulus’ bed, running his fingers through the younger boy’s dark curls. “I’m sorry, Reggie,” he mutters in defeat, “I tried to stop her, you know, I tried to move her arm aside.” Sirius rambles, instinctively gripping Regulus’ hair tight, causing him to wince. Sirius eases his grip at the soft hiss and brings Regulus into his chest, cradling him tight as if protecting him from other potential threats, his due diligence to his brother as he had failed once already and vowed never to again.
Regulus leans into his brother’s embrace, he’d never pass up the opportunity to gain affection, especially when his parents were avid avoiders of it. He cherished moments like this where he could sink into Sirius’ arms and know that his brother is there for him no matter what happened. He felt his body relax, melting into a state of security, a total contrast to the event that had just passed moments ago and as much as Regulus cherished his brother’s hugs, he yearned for one from his mother. As far as Regulus was concerned, his mother hadn’t hugged him since he learnt to walk, and his father couldn’t care less about him as long as Sirius was in the picture - his beloved heir. Note the sarcasm.
Regulus knew deep down that he would never compare to that of Sirius, at least, not in his father’s eyes. Regulus was just a spare, something his parents set aside incase of Sirius’ failure, not that his brother would fail, it was impossible for him. Regulus knew that, his father knew that, everyone knew that.
Regulus slipped into unconsciousness, his chocolate eclair forgotten about in his hand, the icing dripping onto his fingers.