“Think QuillKiller’s still going on this year?” Sirius slumps himself next to James, “been on since before we joined, maybe it’s one of the teachers.” Remus snorts at the suggestion, “it’s not one of the teachers, you twits. It’s probably passed down to individual people.”
“Good point,” James takes out his phone to check Twitter, because QuillKiller always post on the first day back. Nothing yet, though. The four of them have only just gotten onto the train, maybe QK hasn’t. “Wonder who’ll be their target this year, now Rose and Brian have left.”
Rose and Brian we a couple in the year above James and his friends, they’d been in different houses and QK had been obsessed with getting them together all year. There’d been badges and t-shirts made and given away anonymously from boxes in the hallways, posters had been put up in the Gryffindor common room - despite neither of the, being in Gryffindor. When they did end up going on a date, QK had posted footage of them from what James thought looked like security cameras onto their Twitter.
That was only one of the instances where QK had taken a story too far. In spite of all the privacy violations the account had taken, they still remain popular, and most of the teachers had giving up on finding them (Professor Sprout is the only one who hasn’t and Headmaster Dumbledore pretends not to notice more often than not).
Peter rummages in his bag, and pulls out his headphones, “maybe Meadowes and McKinnon? I could see that as a Wattpad story. Academic rivals to lovers, opposite houses, lesbian. And they’re already dating so QuillKiller could easily find some photos of them having a snog, even though their not out.”
“Wow, Pete. You could be a fanfiction writer.”
“Piss off, Sirius.”
QK had done pieces on the four of them over the years, on pranks they’ve done and sometimes their dating life. They had a field day when Sirius told the entire Great Hall he was gay - James still has the recorded speech which QuillKiller posted on their Twitter that day. All of their phone beep at the same time, signalling that QK had posted.
!!QuillKiller News!! »Monday 1st September«
Ready for a new year at Hogwarts⁉️Missing the drama❓ We have. Here’s a recap on the end of last year and some news from the summer‼️
Last year, McGonagall and Pomfery exchanged something other than medical records in emails, don’t worry not nudes. But suggestive emails about an evening they’d share in the near future, will we see more of their romance this year? Stay tuned!💖
Rose and Brian finally went on a date and over the summer sources have told me that Rose is eating for two - if you know what we mean. Name ideas in the comments anyone? 🤰🏾🤱🏾
The Marauders🦁 won the practical joke war with The Skittles🐍, will it continue this year and will the younger Black retaliate against his brother?
Speaking of the Blacks, over the summer we found out how Sirius Black was disowned from his family and the Potter family are in the process of adopting him. Will Regulus hold a grudge against his ex-brother?😬😬😨
Many other things have happened, but this academic year is a new one. Let’s looks forward to all the romance, rivalry, and radiography of it all. You can read up on past stories on our website https//:quillkillernews.co.uk
QK out !🥸
[Comments on this post:]
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“God, they just told the whole school about your parents adopting Sirius. How’d they even find out about that?” Remus asks, a worried look filling his face. “At lease the new first years won’t know who you guys are, and second years don’t really give a toss.”
“Not helpful, Pete.”
“Sorry.”
Sirius hasn’t looked up from his phone since QK posted. “Pads, don’t worry. I’m sure nobody cares about your asshats of family. And Reg defo won’t hold a grudge, he doesn’t care about that stuff,” James plucks the phone from Sirius’ hand, “enough of that from you. We need to plan our first day back party.”
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!!QuillKiller News!! »Sunday 6th September«
‼️FIRST WEEK BACK!‼️ and our regular posting schedule has returned to every Sunday! Thank you for all the new followers which we have gained this year, so our first proper post goes out to the new first years! 🥇
Sorting ceremony has determined there are more Gryffindors than Slytherins this year, is this the beginning of the Slythendor rivalry for the first years? 🦁🦁🐍
Rivalry is in the air, apparently. With Lily Jade Evans🪷and Severus Snape’s🐍friendship having come to an end, Snape has attempted to reconcile which Evans has ignored about thirteen times just this week❗️ Read more about that on our website https//:www.quillkillernews.co.uk/are&evans&and&snape&friends?/hduwd23mdn
Trouble in paradise with Amelia Bones and Emmeline Vance? Since June, the couple have been seen arguing in public countless times. Caught on video, Bones slapping her girlfriend‼️‼️‼️‼️🤕😲 Watch the video /here/ !!
⭐️It’s become apparent that the Black brothers have kept a steady relationship, despite their different homes now.🌟Is there a slight possibility that it’s out on? Keeping their faces on for the public? Read more on our website https//:www.quillkillernews.co.uk/the&black&brothers&are&keeping&up&appearances&for&their&family!?/dkodjrje08mc7
QK out!🥸
[Comments on this Post:]
@Greasy45_may: Is Emmeline single now? My time to bloody shine! 💘❤️🤍💓💗
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@adVanceEm: No, me and Melia are perfectly fine. Please let us work out our relationship without the constant photos and questions.
@EdBones: Can Quillkiller please fuck off and stop making up rumours and extending the truth
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@DoraTheExplora4: I second that
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[see 96 replies]
@prettieststar: wow can’t accept that my brother and I aren’t fuelling you with angst for you :(
@Richthebich: Video of Bones slapping Vance is so funny HELP 💀
@anillegalegal: GRYFFINOR 🔛🔝 FR FR FRRR
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@monoplymoney: LITCHHHHHH 🔥
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!!QuillKiller News!! »Sunday 14th September«
Hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine☀️while it lasts! We interrupt your breakfast to share the highlights of this past week with you ‼️‼️
Black brother ⭐️🌟 feud is continuing much to our dismay 😧, maybe one day the duo could meet their differences aside and befriend each other ❓ read more about their current arguments and see photos of their fight - which we did film but nobody on our team can speak French so cannot be translated 🇫🇷🥖🥐🫒 - on our website https//:quillkillernews.co.uk/star&siblings&fighting???
Our first football ⚽️ match is today❗️Bets are available on our website for options of £5, £10 and £25 where you can win over double your bet‼️ Who will win❔ Ravenclaw or Gryffindor 🦅🦁🤓. Https//:quillkillernews.co.uk/footballmatches/bets
Skittles strike 🪧 against Marauders on Thursday with an epic prank. Pandora Rosier, Evan Rosier, Barty Crouch Jr, and Regulus Black filled the marauders’ dormitory with rubber ducks 🦆🦆 - so fill that when the door opened, ducks flooded the stairs behind the group, making them fall down the stairs. Click /here/ to see one of the videos a bystander in the Gryffindor common room has filmed ❗️😧😂 source says that Peter Pettigrew was in the infirmary for the night with a broken ankle 🥴?
💥Will the marauders retaliate!? 💥 tune in next week to see!
Our fav couple Amelia and Emmeline have decided to go their separate ways, we caught their break up on camera! Click /here/ to watch⁉️‼️ Seems like the lover’s tiff was more than we originally thought as Bones was caught cheating with a fellow Hufflepuff 💔❤️🔥 🦡! On our website you can order our newly released ‘Bones the Bitch’ badges, t-shirts, hoodies and more‼️‼️
https//:quillkillernews.co.uk/romance/merch/bones&the&btch/ncw74ndjs6
That’s all for now❗️ QK out!
[Comments on this post:]
@adVanceem: ever think about minding your own business😁😧 the fact that QK is profiting off of our relationship is horrible, and how they’re making merch from it is downright disgusting and disrespectful. Even if Amelia and I have broken up, it’s awful of you to be calling her a bitch. It’s misogynistic and quite frankly horrendous. To be displaying her name on hoodies and shirts and the whole ordeal on a public Twitter post is horrid and whoever is in charge should be embarrassed and disgusted with themselves.
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@iownafarm: ateee🤭😍😍 (marry me Emmeline)
@jamesfprongs: Rubber duck joke sucks compared to what we’ve got lined up 😜
@prentits: Ravenclaw will deffoooo win 🏆
@prettieststar: didn’t know that asking my brother if he needed anything from Honeydukes counts as an argument but we’ve got our own section on your website so I’m not complaining 😋🥰
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@regulusacturus: This is why mum doesn’t like you.
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!!QuillKiller News!! »Monday 15th September«
Updates on the football match ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
The score was 5 : 14 to Gryffindor, which was expected by many 🤓. Over 87% of betters thought that the lions would win - correctly - and total amount spent was £489 on bets. Those 87% won £372 of that. Thank you so much everyone for betting, this is how QK continues to thrive.
Poll⁉️ Comment a red apple 🍎emoji if you think the ‘We Will Rock You’ 🪨 chant at the beginning of our Hogwarts matches is a good idea❗️ But comment a unicorn 🦄 emoji if you think that it’s unnecessary 😧😔❗️
A huge congratulations to everyone on the Gryffindor 🦁 team - especially Francis “Frank” Longbottom the team’s captain. And a ‘do better’ to the Ravenclaw team 🦅 .
QK OUT ‼️‼️❗️
[Comments on this post:]
@FrankLB: Thank you, QK 🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎
@jamesfprongs: we rule 😎🍎🍎🍎🍎
@prentits: we’ll win next time, gryffindorks 🍎🙄
@tommyslanderallowed: why have 286 people commented red apples!? The chant is so annoying 🦄🦄🦄🦄
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@prettieststar: oh so you’re allergic to fun @tommyslanderallowed ? 🍎
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“We ate that match up, Marls. Show us that new trick?” James kicks the football to Marlene, who does an elastico with ease, “Sam taught me over the summer.” Sirius snorts and takes the ball off her, “that looks fucking easy, Marls. Look.” Sirius tries to do the same trick, but ends up falling over the ball, onto his arse and the ball going in a completely other direction. He grunts in annoyance, “you suck.”
Marlene laughs, “I can do an elastico, so I do not suck. That’s all you, leathcheann,” she turns to her friend, Yasmin, and whispers something in her ear. Yasmin had been filming this, and James assumes she’ll probably send it to QK, because they’ve been known to pay people who send in funny videos of their peers. Not loads of money, maybe a tenner max, but still money. “You’re such a tosser, Marlene Leilah McKinnon!” Sirius yells at her, because Marlene has walked off with Yasmin and is on the other side of the pitch.
“I take pride! Sirius Orión Black!” Sirius flips her off and grabs James - who’s currently laughing his arse off - by the shoulder, “I hate her.”
“No you don’t, Sirius. You have matching friendship bracelets.”
“Okay? And-? I’ve got friendship bracelets with literally everybody. Even Severus Snape.”
“Because you superglued it to that photo of his grandmother.”
“Meh meh meh, me- hush, Jamsie. We’ve got a food tech time plan to write up!”