Sometimes two homes are better than one
“Another one, for the road,” Harry smirked, pushing his empty tumblr towards Draco Malfoy who was working as bartender, and had been for the last four years. Which was when Harry had coincidentally become a regular after work. Harry had been working as an auror since age eighteen, he was now thirty-five. As for Draco, from what Harry could gather this was his first long term job since the war ended. Pity they judged a child without a choice as though he had been an adult who knew all too well about the choices he was making.
“This would now be your seventh ‘last one’ for the road as you say,” Draco rolled his perfect grey eyes and began pouring Harry a Jack Daniels anyway. Suppose because it was his job to do so,
“Trying to get rid of me, Malfoy?” Harry teased. Draco once again rolled his eyes, Harry remembers when he used to cause him to roll them by other means. The summer after the war ended, after Draco was cleared of crimes and not sentenced due to Harry’s own testament, Harry and Draco had a summer romance that Harry could never quite forget. He reckons he’ll be thinking about those three and a half months spent entangled within each other for the rest of his life and on his deathbed and possibly even beyond that.
“You are a paying customer, and a good one for business,” Draco cleared his throat, “But you spend nearly as much time here as me, nearly but not quite,”
“Er yeah but I’m not always on the piss am I? Sometimes I come in here for dinner after work and sit with Fanta bloody orange all night,” Harry furrowed his brow, how could Draco be insinuating Harry was an alcoholic.
“You misunderstand me,” Draco waved his hand, Harry’s face relaxed, “I only meant you are usually here after work, after already doing a full shift as an auror. I suppose I am only pointing out the difference that when my required work hours have ceased, I don’t want to be anywhere else but at home with Astoria and Scorpius,” Draco shrugged. Harry felt his temper ride,
“I work four days. Off three and every moment of the three days I am not in work is spent with James, Albus and Lily.” he said, voice slightly raised. “So yeah, I come here after work so what? I see my kids, I spend time with them!”
“I was not insinuating you were a bad father nor was insinuating you do not spend time with your kids,” Draco sighed,
“Then what are you banging on about?”
“I want to spend every waking moment I am able with Astoria. When I get home from the later shifts Scorpius is asleep, I rush home to Starry,” he shrugged, it was now Harry’s turn to roll his eyes at the pet name Draco gave to his wife. “What I am saying, Potter, is that you should talk to your wife.” he raised a perfectly arched blonde eyebrow before turning and serving a muggle a pint of ale. Harry was forced to think back how amazing that summer was until it turned sour, Draco was sick of sneaking around yet very accepting of why Harry wouldn’t date him publicly nor disclose that he was dating Draco to even close friends or family (aka the Weasley’s) he had been so understanding and was still even when he left Harry, even though he understood the reasons it wasn’t what he wanted. He couldn’t love Harry in the complete dark.
Though the breakup had been done politely, it was Harry who turned sour. Harry spent September 1998 till June 1999 sleeping around nightly with someone new. No matter the gender Harry was with someone else each night until Ginny graduated Hogwarts, he spent the better part of the summer of 1999 wooing her and making time for her dropping his nightly hookups to once a week. That only fully ended when he asked Ginny out on a date on her birthday, the two dated casually in their words but did not see other people. Ginny was the one who bit the bullet and asked Harry into a relationship early on in November of 1999. The two made time for each other in between their careers.
Ginny was accepted to play professionally for the Holyhead harpies in June 2001. Harry himself had just had a promotion the January of that year. Once Ginny was on the team it became clear that Qudditch was her first priority and Harry second. He was fine with that because she was ambitious as she was brave, he knew how important it was to her to make a name for herself in the Quidditch world. He supported her every step of the way and that left more time for him to hang out with Ron and Hermione anyway. He had it all, he had a girlfriend he was mad for, he had most of his time to spend with his friends and the rest he could focus on being an auror and moving up the ranks. Draco was always in the back of his mind,
When Ron had told him casually in the spring of 2002 that Draco Malfoy was dating Astoria Greengrass, Harry felt his world shatter. He had to hold it together because after all Ron had no knowledge he ever dated Draco but by then Harry had come out as Bisexual. He did feel in his nine months of exploring his sexuality he did have a preference for men, however he was still quite attracted to women, Ginny especially. She was definitely the perfect woman for him, he was very happy with their relationship. Yet when those words left Ron’s lips it seemed like one of those moments where everything around him just paused, the world stopped before it shattered. Harry had to force himself to deal with his feelings. Luckily Ginny had been very wrapped up with Qudditch at the time he was able to allow himself to do that.
Harry had been ignoring the fact that Draco would one day move on and it had been easy as he didn’t enter a relationship for four years after they split. It hurt, he allowed himself to feel hurt, he isolated and dealt with it before meeting up with Ginny again who hardly noticed she was so wrapped up in her job, he was beyond pleased for her achievements regardless. Harry proposed to Ginny after the Holyheads won a match against the Canon’s in October 2002, they married the following October. Draco and Astoria tied the knot in the spring of ‘03 after being secretly engaged since Draco’s twenty-second birthday which had been a month after the pair began dating.
Over the years Harry and Ginny had such a pleasant time together, they welcomed three children. James Sirius who wasn’t planned and Albus Severus & Lily Luna who were. Ginny stopped playing Qudditch professionally the week before she and Harry started trying to get pregnant with their third child, his lovely Lily. His life felt almost complete then he and Ginny were in their own bubble once Lily had been born, James and Albus had been three and two and the house was full of chaos but equally full of love. It was without a doubt the happiest time in their relationship, he would always look back on it fondly. Though he has the sense the relationship has to end.
He would rather be in the bar with his ex fling than be at home with his wife. He isn’t sure when that happened, he isn’t sure when they stopped being a unit. When their lives truly became separate. Ginny started working as a sports editor for the prophet when Lily turned three, she is now seven. The age a child starts to show magical abilities, which was the most Harry and Ginny talked now was discussing what Lily Luna had been getting up to. Now that he thinks of it they don’t have many conversations that don’t involve the children. They haven’t been on a solo date just the two of them in maybe two years. Two years ago they did recognise they needed to work on what they had, their marriage.
Ginny brought it up and Harry agreed, she felt their marriage was slipping. Which he supposed was normal with three kids, she agreed and said it needed to be worked on. What he can’t work out is when they stopped trying to work on it. He sort of feels like a glass of water has splashed him and woken him up, they both knew it was slipping. He feels it has been over a while and neither of them have bothered to try to fix nor work on it. That he supposes does mean it is actually over, his marriage has ended and it escaped his notice. Neither him nor Ginny had enough spark left or faith in the relationship to address it, he supposes this means although they care for each other and always will. The relationship isn’t worth fighting for, they are in it now for the kids, so that the kids do not have to live in separate houses, perhaps two homes may be better than one? Then one loveless one at least.
“Does she make you laugh?” Harry asked Draco, the way I did, he silently asked,
“She doesn’t make me cry,” Draco sighed, the way you did, he silently told him. Harry nodded and got up walking away knowing he had to sleep, be fully refreshed for an uncomfortable but necessary conversation with Ginny, then the two of them would have to come up with a plan of how to gently break it to their three children. Which he was nervous about, he wanted to make sure they were ok no matter what. That they knew this was for the best,
Sometimes two people who loved each other very much can fall out of love no matter how strong that love is. Even mums and dads too, sometimes in order to put the kids first they have to honour the fact the relationship has failed and move on while caring for the children together. He can explain a bit more to James who is ten and in hindsight has noticed a bit of the lack of love. This is probably where the recent misbehaving came from. He knows who James is at his core, a good person he just needed a little reassurance things were going to be ok, they would always be a family. Things were going to be just a little different from here on out.
At only ten and nine he can give James and Albus a watered down version of things and really focus on reassuring them both, he doesn't know how to explain things to their sister because Lily Luna is still too young.
Really all of them are too young to understand, and likely won’t until they love someone in that way. It won’t make sense to them, it doesn’t exactly make sense to Harry either, how things could be one way one day and then like this today. The love they had the fire, how did it go out? When did they decide keeping the fire alive was not in their priorities whenever it happened in the end is irrelevant as it did happen. He loved her so much he would have swam a never ending ocean to get her back after she graduated Hogwarts, somehow, somewhere along the lines the need to try nurture what they had vanished. It doesn’t make sense, but he has got to make his children believe it’s all for the best.
“You are home early,” Ginny grinned, showing him the article that stated she was nominated for Jounrnailst of the year, at age thirty four she was the youngest in the category though she was far from the youngest employee. He smiled happily, he was after all very happy for her and still wanted to see her succeed. The love he has for her is different, even if he could go back and change things put in the work earlier he doesn’t know if he would, he doesn’t know if she would if somehow given that option.
They celebrated her success with a bottle of wine and a laugh about old times, pulled out a photo album and gushed at photos of old memories. Went to bed and snuggled up for the first time in a year, three days later they had an uncomfortable conversation and came up with a plan of how to tell the children and focused on how they would maintain a co-parenting relationship in the healthiest way for the kids. It had a sad sense to it, but it was for the best.
Eight months to the day he caught her checking out Pansy Parkinson when they went out as a family to buy their son, James Sirius’ Hogwarts supplies. Harry chuckled
Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end