Brothers

London, Gare de King’s Cross, September 1st 1973

Suitcase in hand, I boarded the old steam train bound for Aranshire School. Mother watched me from the platform and as the train finally started, I gave her one last wave and she smiled, pleased and approving of what she assumed was wisdom. It wasn't really. It was survival, my reptilian brain getting the better of my rage. Mother may have been vile, but I knew how to erase everything that made me me. It was better to disappear than to incur my parents' wrath needlessly. It would get me nowhere except beaten up by Bellatrix and her crazy husband. I would cringe and swallow my pity so as not to die at their hands. I could be a good son, I had to be. I wasn't as physically tough as Sirius. I was resilient, far back in my mental fortress, but I wasn't as strong as my brother. I couldn't afford to play the fool and keep smiling while I was being beaten to a bloody pulp. Sirius would think I was weak, but that weakness was actually my intelligence. It was for my survival, and Sirius'. If I acted like him, our family would be so furious we could both be killed. But if I was there to calm them down, I could protect Sirius if the situation became desperate. Yes, that's what it was all about. For our survival.

As I made my way along the corridor of the train, skirting the compartments, I glanced furtively around to find an empty compartment. But they were all full. Large groups. Girls, boys, both, older, younger, rowdy or like statues that gave me the creeps. I didn't want to be among strangers, I just wanted to be left alone. And alone. So I kept walking, glancing around for a compartment that would guarantee my peace and quiet.   
I finally found it. After two carriages, there was an empty compartment. And as I entered, starting to close the doors behind me, a group of boys about my age came running past, shouting with laughter and fear.

"THE TWINS!" one of them shouted.

"THE MONSTERS HAVE COME BACK!" shouted another, but I couldn't work out which, all blending into a shapeless mass of 12-year-old boys, shouting and laughing, glancing back. They also stopped to knock on compartments - surely those of their friends - to tell them about the arrival of these so-called twins, who seemed to terrify them. 

But I didn't have the strength to put up with all that, I just wanted to be alone and quiet, so I closed the door with a rush. I hoisted my suitcase onto the shelf above the bench and sat down next to the window. The scenery was already passing by, the train passing the dwellings of the capital and sliding slowly towards the suburbs and the countryside beyond. I didn't know how long my journey was going to last but I was starting to feel strange. Really weird. And as I huffed and puffed, closing my eyes and turning my head so that I could rest it comfortably on the top of the seat, the strange feeling intensified. As if... as if I were being watched. And as a lump formed in the back of my throat, I slowly opened my eyes and thought I was having a nightmare. In front of me, in the doorway that had been opened without my hearing, stood two students, the same height and probably the same age as me. They were wearing the same uniform, a grey woollen jumper over a white shirt and black stockings, the only difference being that the pupil on the right was wearing trousers and the pupil on the left was wearing a skirt. But that wasn't the most disturbing thing about them. It was the fact that they were both wearing gas masks over their faces, as if they were from another time, at least thirty years ago. You could make out blond, almost white locks under their gas masks.

"Well... hello...?" I stammered and they glanced at each other at the same time. They must be the twins that the boys in the corridor were running away from, and maybe I was beginning to understand why. 

The twins turned their hidden faces towards me and I could see their eyes staring at me.

"Who are you?" the girl asked, leaning a little towards me.

"A... I... am a new pupil".

There was another look between them, a knowing look this time. They had agreed on something.

The girl sat down opposite me while the boy closed the compartment door and went to sit next to his sister. At about the same time, they removed their gas masks to reveal very similar faces. They had very light blond locks, but in very different ways. The girl wore them longer, ending in white beads that appeared to be made of wood, with a white kerchief with a wavy pattern on the top of her head. The boy had shorter locks that ended at his Adam's apple, and on one of the right-hand locks, the one furthest forward, he had a small silver jewel representing a skull and crossbones. They both had very light green eyes, almost as light as the blue of my eyes. But the boy's gaze was more haughty and wary, while the girl just looked really strange. The girl also had big earrings that hung down to her shoulders while the boy had one of his ears pierced. 

"What's your name?" asked the boy.

"Regulus. Black. Regulus Black."

They looked at each other again.

"Are you Narcissa's brother?" asked the girl.

"No, I'm her cousin," I corrected, shaking my head. "Do you know Narcissa?"

"She's famous in Aranshire. She was captain of the Serpenti fencing team and probably one of the best athletes the school has ever known."

I was surprised, but not that much. Narcissa may have seemed discreet to me, but I assumed she was strong.

"And you," I said. "What's your name?"

"Pandora Rosier."

"Evan Rosier."

Pandora and Evan, then. The first woman created by the Gods and a young soldier, or a boy of pure birth. Funny names, but hey, I could talk I suppose.

"Are you second years?"

"Yes," Pandora replied. "I'm an Aquila and Evan is a Serpente."

"Are those the names of the houses?"

"Yes“ laughed Evan scornfully, ”The Leoni, the Tassi, the Aquile and the Serpenti. In singular, a Leone, a Tasso, an Aquila and a Serpente."

I didn't catch his laugh. 

"Why are you walking around with gas masks on a train?" I asked them, a little coldly.

"Dad says the other students‘ debility is transmissible," replied Evan as Pandora answered me, "To protect us from the spirits that want to steal our faces."

Okayyyyy, I don't know who these crazies are. But I'm not feeling well, this journey with them.

We fell back into silence. I was embarrassed by their presence, I was beginning to be aware of everything, as if the fact that they were in the same compartment as me was making me discover new facets of a world I couldn't see. From time to time, Pandora would stare at me and whisper things like:

"Tell me Regulus, do you think stars protect children from drowning?" and I'd find myself speechless, with no fucking answer to give her, because no, I didn't know if stars protect children from the throes of the ocean no. And that terrified me. They terrified me.

The minutes passed, one by one. Ten minutes, then fifteen, then twenty. And finally a distraction arrived, in the form of two other pupils my age. A boy and a girl. The compartment door flew open to reveal them, standing and smiling, but not in a crazy way like the twins, just very smiley as if they were very happy.

The boy had messy brown hair, topped by aviator glasses with cracked lenses. He had a small scar on his cheek, under a mole, and wore a necklace with the same skull and crossbones as the one on Evan's jewellery lock. He was wearing an open white shirt over a green and black psychedelic t-shirt. His shoes looked like short black leather Doc Martens with a grey lace and a fir green lace. He also had on a pair of black canvas shorts that looked like the summer uniform on Evan's trousers. The boy threw himself next to Evan, forcing Pandora to move aside as the newcomer put an arm around his friend's shoulders.

"Evannnnnn !!!!" he shouted. "Oh I missed you little bastard!"

Evan smiled at him, a frank if sneering smile.

"Hi Barty."

"They're a bit crazy, aren't they?" asked the girl who had just arrived and approached me. She was a bit taller than me. She had a little afro hairdo that she seemed to take great care of, which was enhanced by all the gold jewellery she was wearing: necklaces, earrings and even bracelets. She too wore the Aranshire uniform, although only the white shirt with the black skirt. She had leather shoes and long grey socks with green stripes. Her eyes were brown with a soft golden glint, but there was no mistaking it: although the girl was coquettish, I felt a strong aura around her and I was convinced that she was probably much stronger than me physically. But she also seemed very nice. She held out her hand to me. "I'm Dorcas Meadowes. And the other jerk is Barty Crouch Jr."

I shook his hand, happy to find someone a little less disturbed than the twins and this fellow called Barty.

"Regulus Black."

"Ouhhh," smiled Dorcas, "you're related to Narcissa."

"It's her cousin, actually," replied Pandora for me, who had approached us while Barty and Evan were fighting on the bench.

"I hope you're as competitive as your cousin Regulus, because I am," smiled Dorcas as she sat between me and Pandora.

We talked the whole way. Or rather, the others were chatting, endlessly telling each other their summer stories, and I was listening attentively, taking in every bit of information I could about them all. I knew that Evan and Pandora lived with their father and little brother and that they hadn't moved from Eccleshall in the summer because their father was working. Dorcas had moved between Southampton, where she lived with her mother, and London, where her grandparents live. Barty, meanwhile, spent his summer in Naples with his maternal grandmother. It was interesting to listen to them talk, and I was rather evasive in answering questions.

"And you, Reg, where did you spend your summer?" asked Barty, who had already decided to call me by a diminutive name, probably a mirror effect of himself being called by a nickname.

Everyone was staring at me and I knew I wouldn't be able to avoid the question this time.

"Well... I was living at my cousin's last year, with her husband and my brother, so I spent my summer in London."

"So you have a brother?" asked Pandora as Barty frowned and asked, "Why on earth were you living at your cousin's?"

"I have an older brother, Sirius. And... a little sister too. And I lived with my cousin because she and her husband had the job of perfecting our knowledge before we went to school. We were home-schooled but at Bellatrix's house, so it allowed my parents to concentrate on... er... well on my little sister."

Pandora and Dorcas smiled at me and Barty and Evan looked at each other suspiciously but no one said anything more about my summer so I was able to go back to listening carefully to their lives and the train journey went smoothly. These kids were strange at first sight but they were relatively nice. 

We'd arrived at the school in the evening and the journey, though long, hadn't been disturbing. I followed the others to a castle that looked old but was actually quite new. The station was five minutes from the school gardens and it didn't take long to get into the grounds. The castle was a little dark but quite pretty. We went straight to dinner in a huge arena-like room, with four long tables lined up. But just as everyone was about to sit down, Dorcas, Pandora, Barty and Evan stopped, alternating their gazes between the tables and me.

"Do you know what house you belong to, Regulus?" asked Evan.

I shook my head. No.

"Pandora and Barty are Aquile so they have to sit at the olive table. Evan and I are Serpenti so we have to go to the ebony table. The Leoni have the elm table and the Tassi have the birch table" Dorcas informed me.

The information was of course interesting, but I still didn't know where to sit. But while the five of us were still waiting, a man came running up to us. He was quite fat, with sparse grey-blond hair on his head. He was coming towards us, out of breath.

"Well, children, what are you waiting for? Go and sit down!"

"We'd like to, sir," began Barty.

"But Reg is new," continued Dorcas.

"And he hasn't been assigned to a house yet," finished Pandora as Evan grimaced behind the back of what I presumed to be a teacher.

"Reg? Who on earth is Reg?" asked the old ignoramus.  

I walked towards him, straight in my perfectly tailored suit.

"That's me," I said, in the most confident voice I could muster. "Regulus Arcturus Black."

The man hiccupped in surprise, which quickly turned into a smile that made him look even weirder.

"Mr Black! What a pleasure to welcome you among the students of this establishment! I had the pleasure of having your cousins in my class. I'm the physics and chemistry teacher, Professor Horace Eugene Flaccus Slughorn. I'm also head of the Serpenti house and president of the Honored Society Club!"

I glanced at my new friends as they giggled behind the Professor's back as he held out his hand for me to shake, which I did, not without disgust, as his hand was downright clammy. Slughorn was looking at me and actively thinking, I could almost see the cogs of his brain smoking through his ears. He looked behind him and then back at me.

"Dear Mr Black, how would you like to go with your friends Mr Rösti and Mrs Microes and become a Serpente?"

I raised my eyebrows at the names he mentioned as behind him Dorcas gave him the finger and Evan passed by whispering words furiously.

"I'd say I agree," I breathed with a discreet smile.

"Ah! Ah! What a pleasure then!" exclaimed the teacher before shaking my hand a second time and running back to the teachers' table at the back.

I looked at my friends and smiled. A little mockingly, I walked over to Evan and Dorcas and said.

"So, Rösti and Microes, shouldn't we go and sit down?"

My sentence was accompanied by Barty's laugh, a "see you later" from Pandora and two very, very close middle fingers to my face from Dorcas and Evan.

"He spits out the names of everyone who isn't in his club," Dorcas grumbled in disgust. "His bloody shitty club."

"Besides," Evan continued, skirting the table, flipping off or whispering insults to various students. "His club, he calls it the Slug Club, to tell you how full of himself that guy is."

We sat down in empty seats, away from the others who graciously avoided us, and continued talking as a man with platinum blonde hair, almost white, began his commencement speech.

"What exactly is the purpose of this club?" I asked.

"There isn't really a purpose" replied Evan.

"In fact," began Dorcas, who seemed to know an awful lot about everything, "he invites to his club students who are particularly gifted in sports or in class, the kind who are top of the class but not necessarily the teachers’ pet, or else he invites students whose parents are high up in the government or in famous things. Old Sluggy invites them to dinners or parties, and sometimes he manages to get pupils from the school next door to come along. Only prestigious kids who can make him look good."

"It's totally cheesy," belched Evan as he played with his glass of water. "Everyone knows Slug just wants to look good among the upper crust. A real prick if you ask me."

I breathed out a small laugh. And I wondered if this Slughorn was going to invite me to his prestigious club. I wondered if Narcissa, Andromeda and Bellatrix had been. But I was willing to bet one thing, if Sirius had been there, Slug would have spotted him from miles away and my brother would have gone straight into the club, if only to make fun of the teacher and the students who were seriously going. Suddenly, in the middle of this enormous hall, surrounded by new friends, I felt more alone than ever and all I wanted was to see Sirius again.

After a speech by the headmaster, an austere-looking old man called Abraxas Malfoy, the feast began amid a huge hubbub, and everyone had filled their stomachs to the brim. After dinner, the students were sent to their dormitories, spread out over the four corners of the castle lawn that served as the school's fixed base. The Leoni, red and gold, had their dormitories on a hill, right next to but much higher than the soccer pitch. They had a breathtaking view of the rest of the estate. The Tassi, black and yellow, had their dormitories between the edge of the forest and the herbology area of the school, with all the vegetable gardens and greenhouses. The Aquile, in bronze and lapis - which included Pandora and Barty - had their dormitories on another hill higher than the Leoni's, on the other side of the school, and they had an observatory on the roof, accessible to all those who wore the eagle badge on their uniforms. I would definitely find a way in. I had to go and have a look at least once. Lastly, the Serpenti - including myself, Evan and Dorcas - with their forest green and silver colours, had their dormitories on the banks of the lake that bordered the school. Some of the dormitories, in fact, were underground and had large, heavy-duty windows that looked out over the bottom of the lake.

As I walked along with Dorcas and Evan, just after we had left Pandora and Barty who had to take another route to their dormitories, I looked up at the lake. Something had caught my eye. On the other side of the lake, just on the other side, stood a huge castle much more beautiful than ours. 

"What is it?" I asked.

Dorcas and Evan, probably used to it, didn't even look across the lake, but when I asked them, they stopped to look.

"This is the school next door," Evan simply replied, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly.

"The school is called Black Lake Academy," Dorcas informed me, "and they have a system that's practically identical to ours. And I think they have about the same number of pupils as here."

"There are a lot of older students who cross the lake on the rowing boats they steal from the rowing club to go and flirt with the students opposite."

I laughed. It really was ridiculous.

We resumed our walk, Dorcas and Evan explaining everything I wanted to know or what they thought I needed to know. The amount of information I was taking in was enormous but I was trying to retain as much as I could. Finally, when we arrived in front of the two Serpenti buildings, Dorcas had to go right into the girls‘ building and Evan and I had to go left into the boys’. When we entered, the common room was empty but in one corner of the room was some luggage. When Evan saw it, he huffed and frowned. And I understood when I saw the initials on the suitcases: E.Y. Rosier.

"Why wasn't your luggage taken to the dormitory?" I asked him.

But Evan didn't answer me, at least not that question. He picked up his luggage and, seeing that he could hardly carry it all, I took a few to help him. We were on the ground floor, but as Evan and Dorcas had explained earlier, some rooms were in basements, and that must have been the case with our room, I assumed. We went down some nice stone staircases, one floor, two floors, three floors and finally a fourth, which I thought was ridiculously deep but as we went deeper into the ground there were fewer and fewer rooms and on the fourth floor below ground there was only one door. And in front of that door was my own luggage. If the fact that my friend's luggage hadn't been taken down wasn't some sign of his bad relationship with the other Serpenti, the door was definitely one. Other boys, perhaps those on the train, had written various insults on the pretty wooden door, ranging from "monster" to "faggot" to other, much more serious, racist insults. I was flabbergasted.

"We have to erase this", I breathed, my shoulders slumped in absolute sadness.

"Don't bother," countered Evan, placing his luggage on the floor and taking a snake-headed spanner out of his pocket. "A cleaner cleaned it last year and the next day it was all back. But I don't care Reg, it's just words."

And I resisted telling him that words were surely the worst weapons a man could have, and that speech was a double-edged sword. But I refrained, because Evan clearly didn't want to hear it. He opened the door and revealed a quite splendid room. It was smaller than the room I had at Bellatrix and Rodolphus's flat but it was still quite large. The room contained four four-poster beds with curtains and sheets of a beautiful green, like emerald but a little darker. A huge carpet depicting a hissing snake covered the floor between the beds and the chests that accompanied them. There were also four wardrobes and four windows that looked out onto the depths of the lake. You could even hear the gentle, regular lapping of the water against the glass. Light fittings hung from the ceiling, giving off a soft grey light. The windows were under alcoves made of what appeared to be stone, carved with arabesque motifs. Beside the beds were bedside tables with small lamps facing inwards.

"This is our little corner of paradise," Evan smiled sincerely at me. "It's just the two of us here, so feel free to take as much space as you like, there's plenty for both of us."

I followed him into the bedroom, pulling and carrying my luggage.

"Are there really just two of us here?" I asked him in surprise.

"Yes," he confirmed. "Last year I had started the year sharing my room with two dorks, Yaxley and Avery. But when they met Luna, they started to run away. And finally, as there were only eleven boys in our year, they moved to another dormitory one floor up. So it was just me, Luna and the others."    

As I put my things down on a bed with my back to Evan and started to unpack, I asked him.

"Who's Luna? And who are the others?"

And as I turned back to him, he had a vivarium and a jar in his hands. A vivarium with a snake. And a jar with a huge spider. I looked at Evan and the fucker was smiling brightly.

"Reg, this is Luna," he said, pointing at the vivarium, "and Ares!"

I was speechless.

"That's... a snake and a spider...?"

Evan looked at his animals with eyes full of... love?

"Well, snake and spider are pretty generic names. Luna is a wolf-snake and Ares is a black widow."

Oh dear. I knew Evan was deranged, but this much? Holy shit. A black widow! A poisonous species, with dangerous venom. Evan must have been cradled a little too close to the wall if you ask me.

Evan struggled to place the vivarium in one of the empty cupboards and began to take out all the equipment he needed to care for Luna. He also piled up jars of crawling worms and others filled with insects, surely destined for Luna's intestine. Then, on the two shelves below those used for Luna, Evan proceeded to place Ares' box and some of the provisions the spider would be eating, what appeared to be flies, mosquitoes, small spiders and dead grasshoppers.

"The good thing about black widows like Ares," Evan explained, "is that spiders like that can go for days without eating and are low maintenance, so you won't get bitten, Reg, don't worry."

I breathed a little, I must admit, I was relieved.

"And... why are Ares and Luna their names?"

Evan was putting his clothes away now but was talking cheerfully.

"Ares is the Greek god of war, and therefore of violence, and black widows are known in popular culture as being adepts of sexual cannibalism, even though this is actually quite false. But I still thought it was funny to call it that. As for Luna, well, that's a name that Pandora adores. And... our mother was called Alice Moon Iro..."

Evan didn't finish his sentence, he didn't need to.

"That's a beautiful name," I murmured.

Evan turned to me and smiled.

"She was."

Aranshire School, Highlands, Sunday September 2, 1973

In the afternoon, I was writing a letter to Sirius. Barty, Evan, Dorcas, Pandora and I were enjoying the gardens in the warm September sunshine. My new friends had explained to me all about the postal system and how often they wrote to their families: Dorcas wrote twice a week to her mother; Pandora once a week to her father and always addressed part of her letter to Felix; Evan didn't keep a regular rhythm and sent a letter whenever he felt like it or needed to; and, strange and surprising as it may seem, Barty sent a letter every two days to his mother and once a week to his father. I had agreed with myself that I really would write to Sirius every day. So I wrote the first one.

Dear Sirius,

How are you?

I hope you're doing well at your new school. I'm having a great time. I've made four friends on the train and I think it's going to last. They're quite special, but really clever and friendly. There's Dorcas, who seems very strong physically and is very pretty. She's very clever too and she's very easy to talk to and never talks in platitudes. Then there's Barty - well, actually his name is Bartemius Jr, but beware of anyone who dares call him that! - He's funny and a bit of a heckler, but I think he's very intelligent. Then there are the twins: Pandora, sweet and strange, who is also quite intellectual. She told me that at home she had a pet lizard called Asirth. I don't think you'd believe her if you were there, but I do because her brother, Evan, with whom I share my dormitory, has literally brought home his pet snake and spider. I asked him if he had the right and he said he didn't, but that if one day someone told on him, he'd put his black widow in their bed. But apart from that, he's really funny. However, I think he's hated by the other boys in our house who insult him and make fun of him. Our bedroom door has even been tagged! It drives me crazy but he doesn't seem to mind. But if one day I have to do it, I'll defend him. He's the type to go it alone, like you, but we'll be there to help him.

By the way, I've joined the Serpenti. I think it's a bit ridiculous to have put the names in Italian, but... So when I talk about myself alone, I have to say that I'm a Serpente, and it's really strange to have to conjugate myself as well. Evan and Dorcas are Serpenti too, and Barty and Pandora are Aquile. The school castle is bordered by a lake, the Black Lake, and my dormitory is literally below the lake. My windows look down on the depths of the water! At night you can hear the gentle lapping and it reminds me of our times with Mr Léandri. I miss him, I hope he's well...

I learnt that my school, Aranshire School, was also the school of Narcissa, Andromeda and Bellatrix. They were Serpenti, and Narcissa was even captain of the fencing team! A lot of the older students and some of the teachers came to watch me, to see the mysterious cousin Black. I hope they don't think I'm like Bellatrix, that would be the height of horror.  

And you, Sirius, which house are you in? Have you made any new friends? What's your school like? Is Eton as good as they say? What's your dormitory like? Tell me everything, I want to hear all about your new life away from me.

I miss having you around,

With all my love,

Reggie

P. S.: Evan told me this morning that the name of our dormitory - because here rooms have names, not numbers - is Basilisk's Canopy. You might think it's silly, but somehow it reminded me of you. Probably the mention of canopy, which makes me think of the stars and of you. It's nice to have little elements like that that discreetly link me to you.

P. S. n°2: There's a teacher here who's really strange. When I told him I was Black, he shook my hand twice!  The guy seemed completely out of it.

A bit later, me and Dorcas, who'd written a letter to her mum, went to post our mail and the rest of the day passed quietly and peacefully.  

Monday 3rd September 1973

On Monday, I still hadn't received a letter. Nothing. I wondered if Eton's postal system was slow, but to be honest it surprised me greatly. Maybe the one between the Highlands and the cities? But I wasn't sure either. I'd asked the others for advice but they didn't think the postal system was slow, not for them at least. But anyway, lessons were starting and I had other things to worry about. So did Sirius. Maybe he'd just been busy. Honestly, I could wait a few more days, I knew that Sirius would get back to me within the week. He'd promised. Besides, a routine of one letter a day took a long time to get into, so I'd wait. 

Dear Siri,

I trust this letter finds you well. I am writing to share the details of my first day of classes. I must admit, it feels quite strange to be here without you. The atmosphere is both exciting and intimidating, and your absence is profoundly felt.

The day commenced with a grand breakfast in the dining hall. The array of food was impressive, from the finest pancakes and waffles to a selection of fresh fruits. I was not really hungry, though I noticed Evan and Barty were the only one to eat with such fervour. They reminded me of you in France. Those were simpler times, and I miss them dearly.

After breakfast, we assembled in the Great Hall for a speech by the headmaster. That was quite fascinating, felt somewhat monotonous. The hall itself is a marvel, adorned with exquisite stained-glass windows and aged wooden benches that creak under the slightest weight.

With schedules in hand, I proceeded to my first class: English with Mr. Gaunt. He is a stern figure but fair. We were asked to introduce ourselves and discuss our favourite books. I mentioned "The Stranger" by A. Camus and found that many of my peers didn't know this novel. Mr. Gaunt smiled at me and has planned a curriculum of classic literature, which promises to be intellectually stimulating.

My next class was mathematics with Mrs. Barrows. Her teaching style is very clear, and she made the subject quite accessible. We worked through some review problems, which I found really easy due to the hard work last year.

Lunchtime offered a respite from the morning’s academic rigor. I sat with my new friends: Barty, Dorcas, Evan, and Pandora. Our group may be small, but their companionship is really appreciable to me. I bet you'd find them funny.

The afternoon brought science with Pr. Slughorn (the one I already told you about), who conducted an enthralling experiment with dry ice. The classroom filled with a mysterious fog, and we were allowed to handle the dry ice with gloves. A really really stupid boy tried to lick the ice but remained trapped and we were forced to finish earlier. He had to go to the hospital wing and we didn't see him the rest of the day.

The final class of the day was history with Mr. Quirrell. His enthusiasm for the subject is infectious. We are beginning with ancient Egypt, a topic I have always been fond of. I attempted to recall the myriad facts I know to impress Mr. Quirrell, but I couldn't talk as much as I wanted.

After dinner, we had study hall, during which I endeavoured to complete most of my assignments.

In conclusion, it was a day of mixed emotions. The excitement of new beginnings was tempered by the absence of your familiar presence. I dearly miss our conversations and your guidance. I hope your first day at Eton was equally eventful and look forward to hearing all about it in your next letter.

With fond regards,

Your brother,

Reggie

Wednesday 5th September 1973

On Wednesday, I still hadn't received anything from Sirius and I was gradually wasting away, in front of my new friends, who had received the replies and letters they were expecting from their families. Evan and Barty had risen up on my behalf, convinced that I had been framed by the other Serpenti. They'd searched their rooms and the bins for any letters from Sirius they might hypothetically have stolen from me. But they'd found nothing. On the contrary, they had been found rummaging around and had spent hours in detention. I felt as sorry for them as they did for me. They felt pity for me. And I hated that. I hated the looks in their eyes. I hated the sentences they refused to say. I hated seeing them walk on eggshells. So to remedy this, as stupid as it sounds, I continued to immerse myself in writing the letters I sent tirelessly to my brother.

Dear Sirius,

I hope this letter finds you well. It's been such a long time since we last spoke. Five days in fact, but it feels like years. I miss your laughter and the song of your piano.

I hope you're not too lonely without me, because I am. I understand that you're busy with homework and new friends, but it would be nice if you had some time to answer my letters.

Do the teachers at Eton really give you enough work to ignore me? Or are you afraid I'll notice dried tear marks on the letters you don't send?

Don't be a coward, answer me.

Your dear little brother whom you love so much,

Reg.

And when I posted them, I tried not to think too much about the fact that they would surely go unanswered.

Thursday 13th September 1973

Hey Siri,

Sup, it's me again. It's been a while, no? I hope you're enjoying your time at Eton. Things here have been good; classes are easy but I have a lot of homework. The teachers like me though, but I don't know if it's for my natural talent, my calmness or my surname. Probably a mix of all three. Are the Blacks famous at Eton? I bet they are. Show them that we're different from the rest of the family.

Do me proud, big brother.

Reg.

It was a much shorter letter than the others but I wondered if what I was doing, what I was continuing to do, really mattered because I wasn't getting any replies. But I continued to send him letters every day, even if I had nothing to say, even if he wasn't going to read them.

Tuesday 9^th October 1973

Sirius still hadn't replied and I was so angry at him. But I decided to keep writing to him. He could sulk if he wanted to, I knew he was being stubborn and acting in bad faith, but I wouldn't stoop to his level and I would keep the promise we had made to each other at the station, in front of our mother.

So that day I wrote him another letter.

Sirius,

I hope you're doing well. I'm writing to you because I wish you would write back more often. It's been months since I've heard from you, and I'm not sure if you're ignoring my letters or if you're just busy. I know you're making new friends and experiencing new things, but I can't help feeling alone and angry. I miss your stupid jokes, your guitar tunes, your provocative smiles and your laughing blue eyes. I love lessons, but without you somewhere in the castle, everything seems meaningless. I'm weary. I hope you're well, though.

I miss you,

Regulus

When I'd finished writing, I rushed to post it, as if this letter was the one that would change everything. I wasn't sure, but I hoped it would from the bottom of my soul.

Saturday 3rd November 1973

Since I arrived in Aranshire, I have not received a single letter from my brother, not one in the sixty-two letters I sent. So it had been sixty-two days since I'd last heard from my brother, and I think it was beginning to make me sick. What's more, today was a very special day: it was Sirius's 14th birthday and I wasn't there to celebrate his birthday for the first time in my life. It made me so sad and so angry. I wanted to shout at everyone and I think I'd even become unpleasant, even with my friends, who didn't say much.

Except Dorcas, who took the bull by the horns, as always.

Yesterday she had cornered me in a corridor when Barty and Evan had mysteriously disappeared, probably in on it too.

"What's up with you at the moment Regulus?"

She was forcing me to look her straight in the eye, which I hated, and I had the sudden urge to jump in the lake and drown myself to avoid this discussion.

"Nothing," I lied.

"You're lying."

Arg. Fuck me.

"I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

I huffed and she continued to stare at me, arms crossed and I knew I had no escape from Dorcas Zaida Meadowes. I looked at her and then looked down again, clenching my fists like a little child.

"It's just that... I still haven't received any letters from my brother. And tomorrow is... it's his birthday and we're not together to celebrate it for the first time in my life."

Dorcas uncrossed her arms and looked at me. Another pitying look, I thought, how I hate them. But when I looked up at her, there was no trace of pity. Not for me, nor for my unanswered letters. She just pouted doubtfully.

"Do you want to send him a letter for his birthday tomorrow?"

I shrugged, but we both knew what that meant. Yes. Of course.

"I was thinking, that... you know... I could buy him a present," I admitted. "I'm not sure about sending it by post, I could always put it somewhere in my room if I don't have the courage to send it to him."

"Yes," Dorcas agreed, "and if you want to give it to him, you can always do it this summer. Otherwise, if you don't think he deserves your kindness, you can always keep it for yourself."

"Or give it to someone," I added.

"Yes, too" she smiled and I think I smiled too. She looked at me, frowning, and pointed to my face. "Are you smiling, Regulus Black?"

Immediately my face dropped.

"Not at all, it must be a lighting effect. Or maybe you need glasses Meadowes."

We talked for a long time and she promised to find a way to help me buy a present for my brother the next day. 

Now it was Sirius's birthday. It had been cold in Scotland for weeks, but there was nothing colder than a rainy morning. Like, torrential rain at six in the morning. Evan and Dorcas (who had entered our dormitory illegally despite claiming that girls were actually allowed in the boys' dormitory but not the other way round) had woken me up and waited for me to get dressed warmly, which I did. I put on a green hunting cap that Evan had lent me and gloves that kept me warm but also prevented me from doing anything that required precision. I joined Dorcas and Evan in the corridor and we went up the stairs to the ground floor and out onto the lawn. The air was fresh and the sky still dark.

We could still see the stars, those stars I loved so much. And while the others kept walking, I stopped to admire the sky and smell the air.

"Hurry up Reg", Evan called out to me.

I looked up to see that they were waiting for me and that Pandora and Barty had joined them. I walked towards them, trying not to slip on the black ice.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

They looked at each other, happy to be accomplices in a secret I didn't know.

"We're going to Hogsmeade," Dorcas finally announced, having had to get everything ready.

"What?! But we're not old enough or allowed to!" I exclaimed.  

This time it was Barty who was laughing.

"Come on, come on, Little King. Does illegality frighten you?"

"Come on, come on," continued Evan, "you're not going to chicken out when all we want to do is make you happy, are you?"

I looked at them, completely stunned.

"But how are we going to get there? The teachers have lists of who's allowed to go!"

Dorcas took a bunch of keys out of her pocket and twirled them on her finger.

"It just so happens..." she began, "that one of my dear housemates is literally gorgeous and always ends up getting what she wants. So I asked dear Athena to steal the keys to a trolley from one of the milk dispensers. She did so and gave them to me. So we have a little cart for all of us to go to the village and do whatever you want."

I must have had a crazy grin on my face, which made them all smile.

"Who is this Athena? Let me thank her later."

Dorcas put an arm around my shoulders.

"Athena Zabini, of course!"

We were all crammed into the milkman's little van and Dorcas had driven, which seemed the wisest choice, even though she was speeding along, laughing like a pirate captain. But I trusted her. To be honest, I could probably trust Dorcas with my life if I needed to. We drove for about twenty minutes, while I sat between Pandora and Dorcas, while Evan and Barty fought and shouted behind us, sometimes leaning out of the window to feel the wind on their heads or to shout insults.

Finally, Dorcas parked a little before the village, on the edge of the forest. It was still a little dark but the sun was starting to rise. As we were ahead of the opening time, we strolled around a bit and for the first time since my arrival, we all discovered the area at the same time. We strolled around the lake, then strolled through the streets as the houses lit up one by one and the shops began to open. The rain had stopped and the place seemed magical. Like, really magical. It smells like Sirius, I thought.
Eventually, we stopped off at various shops to do various errands. Dorcas wanted a new book so we went to the bookshop as soon as it opened. Barty wanted a baseball bat (only God and Evan knew what he wanted to do with it) so we ran to the sports shop. Evan wanted some new shoes so we went to the clothes shop. We then stopped off at a really dingy bar ("It's beautiful!" according to Evan and Barty) and the barman, an old man with a long beard and long hair who went by the name of Aberforth, looked as decrepit as his establishment. When I placed the orders ("Five non-alcoholic beers please!") I noticed a bit of everything. The Hog’s Head bar comprised one small, dingy, and very dirty room that smelled strongly of something that might have been goats. The bay windows were so encrusted with grime that very little daylight could permeate the room, which was lit instead with the stubs of candles sitting on rough wooden tables. The floor seemed at first glance to be earthy, though as I stepped onto it, I realised that there was stone beneath what seemed to be the accumulated filth of centuries. On the owner's arm, on his right wrist, there was a tattoo of Phoenix with "Aurelius" written over it. On his left forearm, there was just a huge A. Dorcas came to help me with the drinks and as I turned round, I was faced with a huge portrait of a blonde girl who gazed out at the room with a kind of vacant sweetness, wearing a light blue outfit with darker sleeves and holding a book in her hand. She looked so sad and at the same time so happy...

We drank our drinks happily and chatted. We'd stayed maybe two hours, the morning had flown by at an indecently fast pace. We had to get out if we wanted to do anything else and not risk getting caught. Barty, Evan and Dorcas went out first, chatting and laughing. I was the last to get up, putting on my hat and gloves and as I turned to leave, I nearly bumped into Pandora, who had her eyes fixed on the portrait of the girl. It was as if her eyes were lost in contemplation. I joined her and she looked at me, her eyes wet as if she had caught all the girl's sadness. I turned to leave but saw that Pandora was not heading for the exit, but towards the barman. She waited for him to look at her and then pointed to his left forearm, the one with the giant A on it. 

"She was happy, you know," my friend admitted and the barman's eyes widened. "She loved you very much."

"Wh... How do you know, young lady?" asked Aberforth.

"She whispered it to me. She also told me that you were a good big brother. Her exact words were, "Abe was much gentler to me than big brother Al. Much more understanding. Much more patient. He smiled more and didn't hold it against me. But now he's angry with himself and sad. I don't like it when Abe is sad. Tell him for me that it wasn't his fault. Not really Al's fault either." That's what she told me."

The barman looked Pandora straight in the eye, bewildered. But Pandora didn't seem bothered by it.

"Ariana" she murmured. "That's a lovely name for a sweet girl like her. She really misses feeding the goats with you."

And Pandora was already turning on her heels to leave. But before she could get through the door, we both heard the barman say:

"I miss it too."

I didn't ask Pandora any questions about what she had just done. The months I'd spent with her had taught me that she had strange abilities, as if she could feel and hear things when we couldn't do it ourselves. It was a bit frightening, but it was part of who she was, I suppose.

As we walked along the streets, she suddenly stopped in front of a sign.

"I want to enter here" she warned us before going in. We followed her inside. It was a record and music shop. The perfect place to give Sirius a present, I thought, without actually saying it. I browsed through the stalls of vinyl records of various genres, before turning my attention to the electric and classical guitars. I was looking at a Gibson Les Paul when Pandora called to me from one of the vinyl shelves.

"Reggie! Come and have a look!"

I turned away from the guitar and went over to her. She was holding a vinyl in her hand, looking at it intently. The image captures a moody, atmospheric street scene in what seems to be London. At the centre of the cover is a man with bright red hair, dressed in an eye-catching, futuristic outfit. The outfit includes a high-collared, patterned jacket and tight pants, suggesting a horrible fashion sense. The figure stands under a street lamp, the only significant light source. The title read ‘The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars’.

"The album came out last year," Pandora explained.

"So what?"

"June 16th last year," she clarified.

Oh. June 16th. My birthday.

"So?" I asked again, stubbornly.

"It sounds like the perfect present for your brother," she says, staring me straight in the eye. "You said he liked the guitar and the singer, David Bowie, holds a guitar. I don't know what kind of music your brother listens to, but I have a feeling this album might be right for him. What's more, it came out on your birthday! What better way for him to remember you?"

Oh girl! But I understood what she was saying, what she wanted to tell me. However, only one question came to me.

"How do you know that my birthday is June 16th? I never told you."

She looked me over from head to toe.

"You've just got the vibe, I guess," she said with a shrug, and I was fine with that, because that was all Pandora.

"Shall we go checkout then?"

After paying for the vinyl for my brother, we all left the record shop. I was keen to protect the newly acquired album, so I held the Craft paper under my arm to warn it of any imminent danger. We retraced our steps through the village in the opposite direction and passed the other village pub, The Three Broomsticks. Shouts and chants were coming from there, so loud that we stopped a little way off, puzzled.

"What do you think is going on?" I asked my friends.

They all shrugged their shoulders and Barty spun round, suddenly spotting a man coming out of the pub, looking happy, talking to him. They chatted for a few seconds and Barty came running back towards us.

"It's some kid from Black Lake's birthday," he explained. "Apparently he forgot to tell his mates that it was his birthday and one of the guys got up on the table and asked everyone to sing."

Behind him we could hear the singing still coming from inside the sign. We were all smiling like idiots. The day had gone well, and not just for us. The group started walking towards the exit of the village again, but I lagged behind a little.  

"You see," smiled Dorcas, who had stayed beside me. "It's a good omen. If it's a celebration here because it's a kid's birthday, it must be a celebration at your brother's school too."

I nodded. I hoped she was right. I knew that Dorcas was often right, so today was no exception and I readily believed her.

"Aren't we going in?" I asked, curious as to who would be celebrating his birthday.

"No way!" laughed Barty. "It's a pupil from Black Lake! They all bring misfortune there!"

Beside him, Evan was nodding, agreeing with his best friend.

"You know, Reg," Evan told me, loud enough for the whole group to hear. "The people of Black Lake are all so weird, with their dog or rat faces! I bet there's a lot of them running around the forest at night, just messing around!"

"I'll drink to that!" laughed Dorcas, toasting an imaginary glass against Pandora's point.

"Me," Barty began, "if one day I heard a rumour that one of the students at Black Lake was a werewolf, I'd believe it. I'm sure they've already had at least one!"

And the whole group laughed at that. But in between laughs, I thought about my brother. Sirius would have loved it if there was a werewolf hiding among his mates. I'm sure he'd try to make friends with him!

I looked behind me, dragging my feet a little, my gaze fixed on the Three Broomsticks. Sirius would have loved a whole bar singing for his birthday, I thought.

Happy birthday, you arsehole brother!