Not Your Fate

The weeks leading to the final act of summer passed by like a blur. Solene didn’t know if she wanted it to go by that fast or if she didn’t want it to pass at all with the mess of emotions that she was thrown into when the Hogwarts Acceptance letter came in once more for her, and this time she didn’t reject it.

Was she ready? No, definitely not. Was she sure that she wanted to go to Hogwarts? Maybe. Sort of?

But no matter her wishes, the day to shop for their Hogwarts supplies finally came.

In the past years, Lucas and Solene decided that it would be best for Lucas to go to Diagon Alley on his own, since if he wanted to bring one of his siblings, the others would beg to follow, and it would turn into a mess. She never really had an idea of what to expect, except for the fact that it was “extraordinary” and “fun.” (Lucas’s words, not hers.)

This time, however, as they went to Diagon Alley altogether as a family, even Solene couldn’t contain her excitement at all the stores and attractions the place held. It was the first time she was ever in a place that actually made her feel like the witch she supposedly was, even when she worked in a restaurant where wizards were regular customers. 

People walking around, dressed in vibrant and plain robes that swished as they walked, sometimes brushing Solene’s ankles below the simple dress that she wore. It was colored in a light moss green, complimenting her skin and her eyes. A thin cotton jacket loosely hugged her arms and kept her feeling more comfortable than she would have been without it. Her dirtied sneakers that occasionally got stepped on by some random person as they rushed towards wherever they were supposed to be.

It was chaotic, loud, and messy, but it was beautiful. Like a whole other world.

Despite the happiness, Solene couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy. She had a nagging thought at the back of her head, an irrational fear: What if I meet my soulmates here? What will I do?

Solene cut her thoughts off with a firm shake of her head. I’ll push them away. Just like I always planned. They probably already have a good life, so they don’t need my presence to make it better.

It took them a good few hours to collect all the supplies that Solene and Jem would need in school due to the horrible sense of direction Lucas had despite going to Diagon alley every year for the past seven years, but they got it done. Their shopping bags slowly grew heavier from the different equipment in their list of requirements. They decided not to buy any school books because Lucas still had his old ones that were in surprisingly good condition despite the boy’s obvious lack of care for his belongings. Solene was just grateful that the school was still asking for the same books so they really didn’t have to buy any new ones.

Items were crossed out of their list until there were only two things left to get, since Lucas insisted that they buy them last because they were the most important: a pet and a wand. 

“‘Eeylops Owl Emporium,’” Jem read the sign aloud. They all stood in front of the rickety shop, the rustling of feathers and the squawk of birds heard even from the outside.

“What’s that?” Soph asked, her face scrunched up in confusion. Solene had carried her for most of their stay, but Soph wanted to stretch her legs, so she was clutching Solene’s fingers as she walked beside her.

“Wait — are we getting an owl?” Tommy asked excitedly, his face lighting up in realization as his face snapped to the side to look at Solene and Lucas.

Ah, yes, it was one of the surprises the two older siblings had for the younger ones. Their family owl died before Soph was even born. After that, they never really had a use for another one, since Lucas always sent letters through a school owl or one of his friends’. But this time, they decided that having one again this time around would be helpful.

And it would also make the kids happy.

Lucas grinned, gesturing to the shop in front of them. “Go ahead and take your pick, kiddos.”

Tommy and Soph screeched in excitement, rushing to go inside and peek at the owls like they were going to disappear. Cal and Jem were more calm with their entrance, but there was no denying that they felt as ecstatic as the other two. Lucas and Solene watched them with fond expressions.

“What do you think they’re gonna choose?” Lucas asked her.

“If there were parrots in there, Soph would fight tooth and nail trying to convince us to get one,” Solene chuckled.

Lucas laughed. “Well you can’t blame her. She has good taste.”

Solene gave him a playful stink-eye. “You only say that ‘cause if it were up to you, you would try to get a parrot too.”

“Hey, they’re cool birds!” The boy said defensively. 

Solene let out a laugh. The last time she laughed and smiled and felt so much more honest with the feelings she displayed felt so long ago, because it was. She never truly felt this happy since the days when she was a child, when their parents were still with them and she had no other worry than what she should draw next and where she should draw it.

It felt good.

“Sol!” Tommy barreled out of the door a few minutes later. His face was flush with joy. “Sol, we got one!”

Solene raised her eyebrows, surprised that it didn’t take them that long to come to a decision. “Alright.”

Lucas and Solene entered the shop, and Solene’s nose wrinkled slightly at the smell of bird droppings that lingered in the air. At least it was subtle enough to ignore so she could focus on the interior.

The ceiling stayed at least four feet above her head, and it was full of hanging cages, owls of different breeds and colors screeching in their own different ways, like they had their own dialects. The counter in front of her also had caged owls stationed on the shelves, along with a woman that fussed over them. She and the other Maxwells turned when the door opened. Soph and Cal immediately rejoined the two, while Jem stayed with Tommy as he browsed.

“Ah, I assume you’re with those kids?” She nodded her head to their siblings, who were still exploring the different owls. 

“Yes,” Lucas said, smiling politely. He turned to Soph and Cal and bent down so he could be at their eye level. “What did you guys choose?” He asked, his tone bright.

Soph giggled excitedly as she pointed to an owl on the shelf behind the store manager. Solene and Lucas followed her finger.

“Are you sure about it?” Solene asked. “Once we get one, we can’t change it.”

Cal and Soph looked at each other. Solene’s words made them doubt themselves, so they called Tommy and Jem over.

“Sol’s asking if we’re sure,” Cal said quietly, his voice barely heard over the birds’ ruckus around them.

Tommy looked at their older sister, nodding firmly. “We’re sure!”

Lucas and Solene made eye contact, holding each other’s gaze for a moment before the young lady turned to the shopkeeper. “We’ll have the black one, please.”

Her siblings cheered as the woman brought the owl down from the shelf. The owl was quite large, with big, beady eyes staring right at her. It was quieter than the others, but it didn’t seem frightened. More like… observant.

I suppose we have something in common there, Solene thought, studying the owl in the cage before turning to the shopkeeper and giving her the payment. She also got some bird food with it, stuffing the small sack in one of their shopping bags and thanking the woman as they left.

The alley still had people wandering through the streets, but it had considerably lessened over the hours. Solene was grateful that there was more walkway than crowd, so she wouldn’t have to apologize for bumping into other people as much.

“What do you plan on naming him?” Solene asked the kids walking in front of them, adjusting her hold on the small circular handle on top of the owl’s cage.

“We haven’t decided,” Jem replied. “We said we were going to pick one at home so we would have enough time to think of good options.”

“Alright,” Solene nodded. She didn’t care what they would name the bird as long as it wasn’t anything stupid.

They walked a few more meters, Tommy and Jem chattering while Soph skipped on the bricks on the pavement and Cal just made sure she didn’t trip and fall on her face, until Lucas stopped them in front of an old shop.

“Now!” Lucas clapped his hands together excitedly. “It’s time for Jem and Sol’s solo event: the wands!”

Solene peered into the shop: Ollivander’s. From what she could see from the dusty windows, it wasn’t much: it was very dimly lit by some dying candle above, and the shelves were packed with boxes, some of which were piled on the corners of the place.

“I’ll take those,” Lucas grabbed the owl and the shopping bag in Solene’s hands, which he gave to Tommy, who wanted to make himself useful and carry something.

Solene gestured to Jem for him to go to her, which he did. Judging from the way his fingers played with the button of his vest and the way his eyes darted around, he was nervous.

“It’s okay,” Solene said consolingly, making Jem relax slightly. Her voice, soothing and calm, always had that effect on people, whether they be strangers or family. “We got this.”

Jem nodded, believing her words as he set his back a little straighter. “Yeah. We got this.”

Solene smiled. Jem slid his hand in Solene’s, finding the small, slightly rough patches of skin oddly comforting.

They both stepped into the shop together, the swing of the door hitting the bell on the frame with a little ding.

“Come in, come in,” A voice from the back called. “I’ll be with you in just a moment, just a moment.”

Solene and Jem exchanged glances before stepping to the side to wait for the unknown shopkeeper Ollivander, she assumed.

Finally, an old man emerged from in between the shelves of boxes. He didn’t look impressive, with his thinning, wiry white hair and his eyes that were too big on his face, but Lucas held him in high regard.

“He’s one of the best wandmakers in England,” Lucas said proudly when showing off his newly-acquired wand all those years ago. “He can seem a little mad, sure, but he really knows his wands.”

Well I do hope he knows his wands, as he’s the only one who sells wands in Diagon Alley, Solene thought with a smile on her face. “Mr. Ollivander,” she greeted. “We’re here to get our wands.”

His eyes darted to her, then to Jem, who partially hid behind her, then back to her. He studied her for a moment, as if trying to place her face. 

“I remember every wand I sold and the witches and wizards I sold them to,” he said, his voice raspy and worn down with age, “but I do not remember yours. You are over eleven years old. Are you here to get a replacement?”

Solene felt some goosebumps rise on her skin in worry, a weird feeling in her gut, but she kept her ground. “No. I’m here for my first wand.”

He tilted his head a little, still studying Solene curiously like a wand he was trying to discover the properties of. “A new student in Hogwarts, I presume? What’s your name, my dear?”

“Solene Maxwell,” She answered. She watched the way his eyebrows creased in pity at the mention of her last name, the way most people did when they recognized it.

“Your parents also bought their wands here when they were in their first year,” Ollivander said mournfully, his gaze finally turning away from her to the wall, lost in thought. “Elias and Anika Maxwell — or at the time, Anika Zamora. They were a tragedy, such a tragedy. My condolences.”

Solene felt her body tense at the mention. She heard a familiar faint ringing in her ears, one that appeared every time someone brought up her parents. She hated it.

“Thank you,” Solene said stiffly. “Now, if you don’t mind, we’re here for wands, Mr. Ollivander?”

She knew that she came off as rude, that her tone was slightly harsh, but Ollivander didn’t seem to notice, and if he did, he didn’t seem to care.

“Yes,” he turned to his shelves, giving the boxes a soft glance before looking back at Solene and Jem. “Wands are made of different woods and contain different cores. Each property of a wand, from its wood to its flexibility, symbolizes traits of the wizard or witch that it serves. The wizard does not choose the wand that they wish to wield, no. The wand is always the one that chooses the wizard, and it is difficult to find another perfect match after losing one.”

The two Maxwell siblings said nothing as Ollivander approached the shelf and brought out a box, taking off its cover and dropping it carelessly on the floor.

“Who will go first?” He asked, looking between them.

Jem looked up at Solene, who urged him forward with a gentle nudge on his back. He walked towards the wandmaker and took the wand that he presented. “Fir wood, 11 inches, unicorn hair core.”

Jem took the wand from its box, but yelped more in surprise than pain when it let out a spark and flew out of his hand.

Solene raised an eyebrow. “Is it supposed to do that?” She asked the wandmaker, but Ollivander was lost to his own thoughts, muttering to himself and scouring his shelves for another wand.

He got out another box. “Maplewood, dragon heartstring, 13 ½ inches.”

Jem looked less eager to pick up this wand, but he did so nonetheless, waving it a little in the air, but nothing happened.

He looked at Ollivander. “Does this mean that this wand chose me?”

Ollivander waited for a moment, as if expecting another kind of spectacle from the wand, but when there was nothing, he snatched it from Jem and placed it back in the box. “No, no, that’s not the wand for you.”

He took a little longer in picking a different wand this time, evidently rethinking before bringing a box to Jem once more. “Poplar wood, unicorn hair, 12 ¼ inches.”

This time, Jem took the wand without hesitation, and gasped when a golden glow emitted from the tip of the wood, filling the semi-dark shop with light for a few seconds before it faded.

Solene’s eyes darted between Jem, who looked like a gust of wind just ambushed him and ruffled his hair, and Ollivander, who looked satisfied.

“Ah, no wonder,” he mused, smiling softly. “Your mother also got a wand made of poplar. Wands of that wood are known to have very strong morals, just as your mother did.”

Jem looked back at Solene, who gave him a small grin. “Congratulations Jem, you got your wand.”

“I got my wand!” Jem repeated, smiling widely.

Solene could tell that he was buzzing with excitement, so she said, “Why don’t you go outside and show the others what you got, and I’ll just meet you there, yeah?”

Jem nodded slightly before dashing out the door, leaving Solene with Ollivander.

Solene turned to the wandmaker, her genuine smile turning guarded and polite. She still didn’t feel at ease with him, no matter if he was just an odd old man doing his job or not.

“Well then, what choices do you have for me now?” Solene prompted.

Ollivander studied her with beady eyes for a moment, not blinking once. Then he turned away and walked a few steps in between the rows of boxes, pulling out one and bringing it back to her. “Sycamore wood, dragon heartstring, 8 ½ inches.”

Solene picked up the wand, flicking the wand. She winced when she felt a shallow slice across her right cheek. She brought her hand up to her face and dabbed the cut, pulling back to find blood.

She turned to Ollivander, who had disappeared into the shelves. “Is it supposed to do that?” She asked, feeling a bit of unease settle in her veins.

“No, not the right fit for you,” Ollivander hummed, emerging from the shadows with a red box. “Hornbeam, harpy feather, 14 inches.”

Solene picked it up, but she was reluctant to give it a wave, having a slightly irrational fear of her eye being the next victim to a cut.

But Ollivander was looking at her expectantly, so she sighed and started to give it a little wave. Halfway through the motion, the wand was plucked out of her hands. The same thing also happened with two other wands that he gave to her.

Solene frowned, confused, but Ollivander was deep in thought once more. She was convinced that this man had more than just a few screws loose in his brain.

Suddenly,  he perked up, like he just had an epiphany. “That can work, that can work…” he hummed. Instead of consulting the shelves as she usually saw him do, he went behind the counter and entered a door to disappear to the back of his shop.

“Even the wandmaker gave up on me,” Solene muttered to herself, shaking her head. She felt disheartened by the difficulty in picking a wand. Witches and wizards younger than her did this without difficulty, but why couldn’t she find the right fit for her?

Ollivander re-emerged from the door, pulling the young lady out of her thoughts. “Here it is,” he hummed, inhaling and blowing the dust off the cover of the black box. The corners were worn down, and the shape was slightly deformed, like it’s been in the back of the shop for quite a while.

“Ebony wood, phoenix feather core, 9 ¼ inches,” he recited, taking off the cover to reveal a black wand. The handle was the straightest part of the wand, as the rest of it wasn’t perfectly straight. It was structured like two tendrils of wood were twisted together to form a wand.

Solene didn’t know what finding the right wand for her would feel like, but the moment she grasped the handle of the wand, she knew that she finally came across the perfect fit for her.

She gave it a swish, and stray papers from Ollivander’s counter were picked up by a small gust of wind and circled around her. The wind made her dress fly slightly and it tussled her hair a bit, but it didn’t last long before the breeze left and the papers descended to the ground.

“Interesting, interesting,” Ollivander mused, holding out the box so Solene could put it back and he covered it then gave it to her. “Your wand is similar to that of your father’s. Ebony, 10 inches, but has a dragon heartstring core.”

Solene stiffened at the comparison to her father, but she kept a strained smile on her face. “Thank you for the wands, Mr. Ollivander. How much will it be for both?”

Once Solene gave the Galleons and Sickles to the wandmaker, she stepped out of the shop as fast as she could. The stuffiness and the constant mention of her parents were getting to her.

“Sol!” Lucas greeted, standing up from a bench in front of a neighboring shop. “How was it?”

Solene saw the hopefulness in his eyes, the nervousness in his twitchy hands, and she smiled. A smile with her eyes crinkling at the corners and a huff of laughter escaping her lips. Her brother was hoping as much as she was that this new journey of hers would go well, and she didn’t want to disappoint him. “It was interesting, but I finally got my wand.”

Lucas smiled gratefully. “That’s good! I’m glad.”

Solene looked beyond him to see their siblings leaning on each other on the bench, half asleep. Jem was the only one wide awake among them, although he was staring at one spot on the floor, eyes unfocused as he spaced out. She chuckled at the sight as she checked her watch. “It’s getting pretty late. We should head home.”

Lucas nodded in agreement, shuffling the bags on his arms uncomfortably. “Can you wake them up?” He asked.

Solene nodded, going towards them. She smiled at Jem before nudging Cal and Tommy awake. She decided to just pick Soph up in her arms so she could continue to sleep undisturbed, since she was the only one out of the four that she could carry. “Let’s go home.”

The twins stood from the bench, stretching in sync with each other, before walking towards Lucas, dragging their feet tiredly beneath them.

Solene shook her head fondly at the display, before she urged Jem to walk with them. As they neared the exit to Diagon Alley, Solene turned to give the place one last glance. 

The significant decrease in people allowed her to see more of the other shops they weren’t able to visit; the owners starting their cleanup as closing time neared, their daughters, sons, or grandchildren helping them or sitting outside with other older kids as they chatted about some undoubtedly interesting events that occurred during their work hours.

She still couldn’t really believe that she was going to Hogwarts, even after they bought her and Jem’s supplies and even after she got her own wand. It all seemed like a dream, like it would disappear into imagination at any given moment.

If this is a dream, then it’s the best I’ve ever had.

She took a deep breath, and the movement made Soph stir slightly.

“Are we home yet?” She mumbled, words groggy.

“Not yet, Soph, go back to sleep,” Solene replied quietly, turning her head slightly to glance down at her sister.

“We know what to name the owl,” Soph grumbled, obviously half asleep. “His name is Apollo.”

Solene smiled slightly. “That’s a lovely name.”

“Hmm, Jem and Luke thought of it…” Soph trailed off, falling to sleep once more.

Solene chuckled breathily, placing a light kiss on her head as she turned around and walked away with her brother, letting the magic brick wall shuffle and close behind her as the Maxwell siblings started their journey back to their home.