Casual?

Dorcas wakes up at the sound of birds chirping and the sun shining brightly into her eyes. When she turns over she is faced with a blond-haired girl who is still deeply asleep. Dorcas her eyes catch sight of the nightstand and she sees her rings laying on it. She looks around the room and sees Marlene’s hot pink underwear on the ground right besides her matching bra. On Dorcas' side of the bed she sees her clothes, clearly tossed aside carelessly the night before. Oh, she remembers the night before. Hot breaths on each other’s skin, dirty talk whispered into ears, fingers tracing every inch and curve of the body…

She also remembers more than the physical things that had happened. When Dorcas decided to take the advise Regulus gave her a few weeks ago (“Just fuck her already, she is beautiful and so are you. She wants to hook up with someone and so do you, so what’s the problem?”) she truthfully just wanted to get laid by some pretty girl. But then the universe turned on her and of course the girl who she had shagged a few hours ago had to be the most stunning, hot, sexy and sweet but also daring girl in the world. Even Dorcas herself can’t hide the fact that this definitely did not feel like a one night stand. Marlene didn’t feel like a ‘one time but not an again’. Marlene felt like a lifetime of opportunities and a handful of beautiful choices. Dorcas remembers that she was the one that leaned in for the kiss first, she was so confident and felt relaxed down to her core. What she didn’t expect was to like it so much. She didn’t expect to like the way Marlene her whole body drenched out of tension the moment Dorcas’ lips were on hers. She didn’t expect to like the way Marlene hooked her fingers around Dorcas’ belt loops to pull her closer. She didn’t expect to like the way Marlene chanted Dorcas’ name like a prayer needing to be answered. She didn’t expect to be sitting here next to Marlene and telling her heart to stop beating so fast, her cheeks to stop turning red, her stomach to stop feeling butterflies in it when just thinking about it all. She didn’t expect anything, she just wanted a casual hook up, is that too much to ask?! 

Dorcas signs and lays her head in her hands. There is no need to be dramatic, she thinks to herself. Marlene and her just fucked once, there is nothing special about that. But… she didn’t feel that way while hooking up with the other girls. For example: her and Lily did it once just because they were high as fuck and bored. Even though Dorcas doesn’t remember much since she wasn’t totally herself, she does remember it feeling normal and with not so many feelings being involved. And after it happened she could just look Lily in the eye and think of it as a funny mistake and not feel anything other than platonic love. Marlene doesn’t even have her eyes open and Dorcas already can’t look at her with just friend feelings. 

No, she cannot fall for Marlene. Marlene is a Gryffindor, Marlene is friends with reckless people, Marlene is a girl. It’s all fine when it’s just sex with girls but catching feelings is… scary. Hooking up doesn’t really change anything, but liking someone for more than their body is confusing. It means something. Marlene is starting to mean something to Dorcas’ heart and she is not okay with that. It is way too much trouble and all the feelings that are buzzing around in her body are heavy on her chest. “Stop loving me so much!,” her mom’s drunken voice yells through her mind again when a 6 year old Dorcas just wanted to take care of her mom, “You can love people all you want, but that doesn’t mean that they will love you back!” 

Dorcas knows her mom was drunk then, but that doesn’t take the impact on those words away. ‘You can love people all you want, but that doesn’t mean they will love you back,’ yeah Dorcas has learned her lesson with that and she isn’t thinking about ruining that any time soon. She cannot fall for Marlene, so she will just not fall for her. 

She quietly gets out of the bed and puts her clothes on. While grabbing her rings on Marlene’s nightstand she accidentally knocks over a glass of water and it falls on the ground with a loud bang, completely broken and in a million pieces. 

She hears sheets moving and a sleepy voice calls out her name. “Dorcas?”

Dorcas looks over and Marlene is watching her with her eyes half open and a confused face. “No it’s okay go back to sleep, I was just leaving -” She stops talking when she feels a warm hand cupping her wrist. “Don’t leave yet. Just stay, I can make you breakfast and my soccer practice is still hours away-”

“I’m sorry I’m gonna go.”

Marlene lets go of her arm, “...Alright then.” But Dorcas doesn’t leave. It feels like her feet are glued to the ground and the universe is forcing her to keep looking at the stunning girl in front of her.

“Are you okay?”

She blinks and tells herself to pull it together. It’s just some weird feelings, it’s nothing she can’t survive. “Totally fine. I’m going.” As she walks to the door in a hurry she can hear Marlene saying, “If you wanna stay, that's really alright for me-” but she gets cut off by Dorcas closing the door.

~~~

Dorcas is running through the halls of the Slytherin campus, desperately trying to find at least one of her friends. She needs to tell them about this. She needs them to tell her it was just a hookup with a lot of booze and that’s where the feelings came from. She just needs the confirmation on the fact that it will all disappear and it will be fine. As she is running to Regulus’ and Pandora’s dorm, Potter is walking out the door, “I’ll see you at practice, love!” he says to Regulus. Hell no, she isn’t talking to one of the bestest friends of the girl she is freaking out about. Before James can see her she turns to her left and opens the door of apparently a broom closet. Dorcas looks around in the tiny room and sees 2 people french kissing each other. She sees her 2 roommates french kissing each other.

 “Barty?! Evan?!”

At the sound of their names Evan and Barty break apart and stare at Dorcas in shock. 

“Cas, wait!” Barty says while seeing that she is turning to grab the door handle and leave. 

“No, I don’t mind, please continue,” Dorcas says smirking with obvious amusement in her voice, “lick his face off for all that I care. Leave some hickeys, that will get Evan’s admirers crazy, but I’m going. Oh, a little tip, do not shag here, this door doesn’t lock, as I’ve experienced.”

They both smile at her and she leaves, now walking without any interruptions to Regulus and Pandora.

“Hey Cas!” Pandora says brightly from her beanbag when Dorcas walks into their room.

Dorcas goes straight for the only empty bed and drops her body down on it. 

“Is something wrong?” Regulus asks.

She sits up and takes a deep breath as she holds her fingers ready to count all the things that had happened. “1 I had sex with Mckinnon, 2 I really liked it, 3 I broke her glass of water and 4 Barty and Evan are eating each other’s faces in the broom closet next door.”

“Evan and Barty are doing what?!” Regulus and Pandora say at the same time.

Dorcas signs dramatically, “So no one cares about the glorious most unholy sex that I had?”

Pandora laughs, “Tell me everything. Leave no details out, and then you are gonna tell us about Barty and Evan.” 

So Dorcas tells in extreme detail how the night went, from Dorcas cleaning her shirt to the no shirt part. 

“Wait so why are you here? Why aren’t you eating breakfast with her or something?” Reg asks.

“Because I left.”

“Why did you leave?”

“Because she is stunning and that’s scary.”

Pandora gasps, “You like her!!”

“I… don’t.”

Regulus laughs, “Sure, and I have the best parents in the world.”

Pandora gets up from her beanbag and goes to lay down next to Dorcas. “You are afraid of getting attached, right?”

“I’m not afraid of it. It’s just too much right now to get attached, it comes with way to much worries.”

Regulus joins them, “It’s okay Cas, we can stop talking about it if you want.”

Dorcas breathes out and nods her head.

Pandora sits up and says with her voice full of innocence, “Instead we could find Evan and Barty and ask if they did it in your shower.”

“Ew! Dora why would you say that!” Dorcas sits up from pure shock.

“Well it’s a valid question,” Regulus continues, “but I’m betting on them doing it on your couch.”

Dorcas slaps his arm and makes puke noises, “Regulus I swear to god I’m gonna kill you.”

At that moment Evan and Barty walk in. Well, it’s more a walk of shame than walking.

“Ah, there they are, how was the kissing?!” Pandora asks immediately.

“More importantly, how was the shagging?” Regulus teases with a slight smirk on his face. 

So there they were, talking all day about the apparently new couple. Pandora shamelessly asking a lot of detailed questions, Regulus making sarcastic comments, and Evan and Barty just enjoying the fact that their friends support this all. Right in this moment Dorcas doesn’t have to worry about anything, so she doesn’t. Just like she doesn’t have to keep feeling those feelings about Marlene, so she won’t. She doesn’t think about the hook up at the moment, Marlene is out of Dorcas' head. The only head that she unfortunately and without meaning too thinks of, is Evan’s because Barty is giving Pandora a way to detailed step by step story about it. 

“If we are really talking about this I’m gonna need some vodka,” Dorcas says.

“I feel you,” Evan says laughing, “pass the bottle, Cas.”

So they drink and talk and just do nothing at all, while meaning everything to each other in a way no one would ever understand.