King of My Heart

September 21st, 1977. I had english today, Regulus was there. He’s so smart and beautiful; I can’t right now, he sat there with his raven black, his curls looking so good today. His eyes looked more grey than blue today, it really complimented his pale complexion, the bags under his eyes are almost gone; they were really prominent due to being with his parents most likely. Oh how I hate them, they have Regulus and Sirius way too much. I’m glad Sirius is out and living with me but Regulus is still there and I think he gets treated the way Sirius was. When we first got here, I could see a bruise on Regulus’ left cheek and he had red marks around his frail wrists, he also looked really skinny and I mean more than usual. I wish I could get him out, I love him too much to have him die under their hand. I would rather take his place than have him there anymore. I also wish he would notice me, no matter what I try he always walks away from me, ignores me or just yells at me calling me Potter. And I honestly don’t even care about that last part, I even kind of like it, but he definitely does not like me. Anyways on another note, I’M CAPTAIN OF THE FOOTBALL TEAM! I can’t believe it, when I walked into the locker room, I went to my old locker and everything was gone. I thought they were kicking me off the team for all the pranks I’ve pulled. BUT Barty came up to me after I asked where all my stuff was and he said that I was captain and he was assistant captain. I am so happy! That's all really. -JFP

I had to stop writing in my journal because it was almost midnight. So I decided to go for a walk because I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. I walked to my usual spot, “the astronomy tower” because no one else is usually there because no one really likes looking at the stars anymore. I think they are quite wonderful, the one thing I hate about the astronomy tower is all the stairs,
“I hate these stupid stairs” I said out loud because no one else is here. I made it up the last stair and saw those tight black curls that I could recognize anywhere.

“Regulus?” James asks, knowing that it was in fact Regulus. Regulus’ body visibly tensed hearing another person this late.
“Potter. What are you doing here?” Regulus asks while standing up,
“I always come up here to try and clear my head, and I can’t sleep.” he takes a deep breath “I can never sleep at the beginning of the season, or any night after that really, I’m too ex- sorry I’m rambling” James says noticing that he’s talking to much.
“Yes you were but it’s okay I don't mind it.” Regulus says face blank
“Really? You seem annoyed that I am even here. I can leave if yo-”
“NO!” Regulus yells as James starts to turn to go. “I-I mean I like the company, and you said you can’t sleep, so where would you go?” the younger states quickly
“Yeah, I guess. Why are you up here?”
“Oh I can’t sleep either” Regulus admits
“Why?” James questions
“Oh, no one has asked me that. Umm”
“You don’t have to tell me. If it's too much?”
“No it’s fine…I get really bad nightmares. You know of my family.” Regulus says quickly like it burns his tongue to say
“Oh Reg, I’m so sorry, I hate that you live there with them. You deserve better.”
“Yeah well I can’t really get out after Sirius left. They need an heir.” Reg said, his face looking even more depressed than it was
“Reggie..” James said with pity in his voice
“It's fine James. Leave it. I’m fine, I’ll live with it.”Regulus spat at James
“But you might not Regulus! You could die, I saw what they did to Sirius, and I saw your bruises at the beginning of the year.” James’ eyes started to water “and I don't want what happened to Sirius to happen to you.” Regulus’ eyes have also started to water now.
“James I’m fine, they might be abusive but I am only there for a little bit of the year. Then when I graduate I’m moving out with my inheritance.” Regulus reassured James
“Okay. As long as you have a plan”
“I do, don’t worry”
“Okay, I think I’m going to go back to my dorm. Goodnight Regulus!” James yelled
“Goodnight James” Regulus said chuckling while watching James walk away.

James woke up before everyone else like he does every morning to go for his run. He didn’t fall asleep until two a.m. and it’s 4:30 right now, but he’s pulled all nighters and been fine. He goes for his run around campus and when he gets back Peter and Remus are up but Sirius is still passed out in his and Remus’ bed. For context they have all shared a dorm since their first year here, they became really close friends; they pull pranks, have nicknames for each other and they call themselves “The Marauders” they don’t remember why.
“Hey Prongs, how was the run?” Remus or Moony asked when he saw James
“It was fine, I’m still a little tired, weirdly. Runs usually wake me up.” James answered Remus
“Maybe it was because you didn’t get back till 1:30 last night.” Remus stated
“Did I wake you, I thought I was quiet?”
“No it wasn’t you, Padfoot was snoring really loudly last night.”Remus answered, "Padfoot” is Sirius. He and Remus have been dating for two years and had many years of pining before that. Fun fact about Sirius, he can sleep through just about anything. He is such a deep sleeper, like he could sleep through a whole world war.
“Where were you anyways, we know you go for your walks at night because you can’t sleep but you never stay out that late?” Pete asks
“I went for my usual walk, bumped into someone and we started talking, then I realised how late it was and I left” James smiled and blushed as he answered, not saying who he bumped into because Remus and Pete knew he had a crush on Regulus and would likely make fun of him. Sirius could also wake up at minute now. As if he heard James’ thoughts Sirius woke up with a yawn.
“Hey guys, what are you talking about?” Sirios asked, rubbing his face.
“We’re talking about Prongs’ crush.” Remus said
“Hey what? When did I say I liked them?” James asked defensively
“Since you blushed and smiled when you mentioned bumping into someone.” Remus said back to James.
“Ohhh who are they, they better treat you right Prongs or else we’ll have some words.” Sirius just had to state
“I’m not telling you who it is and I’m pretty sure they don’t even like me back.” James’ smile dropped as he spoke.
“Oh I’m so sorry Prongs” Pete said quickly as the vibe of the room quickly changed to a much sadder tone.
“It’s fine guys, I’m fine.” James said not wanting more questions.

“Oh no oh no oh no! Why did I flirt with him, why does he even care that I’m in that house? He’s in love with Lily is he not?” Regulus said quickly while pacing Barty, Evan and his dorm.
“Because he likes you Regulus! He is always staring at you!” Barty yelled
“He only does that because of Sirius.” Regulus said back
“I swear that's not it, just ask him out. If he says no then just never talk to him again. Simple.” Evan said agreeing with Barty.
“I’ll see if the staring is true first.” Regulus answered
“As long as you ask him when we’re right.” Barty said with his usual sarcastic tone.

Sadly but also happily Barty and Evan were right which isn’t good because all they are going to do is brag about it for months, but he's going to keep his word and ask James out the next time they see each other.

September 24th, 1977. Regulus and I kept making eye contact today. I’m going to go to the astronomy tower tonight and if he’s there I will ask him out. I think I love him, no scratch that I know I love him and I don’t just want him, I need him. -JFP

That night at 10pm

Regulus has been sitting in the astronomy tower for fifteen minutes waiting for James, not even knowing if he’ll come again or if he was staring like a big brother vibe. He’s hoping that it's neither of those, he is going to wait another thirty minutes but then he’s leaving; it is starting to get cold. It’s now been fifteen minutes, he’s now really cold and is debating leaving when he hears the loud mumbling he heard the other night.
“I hate these stupid stairs! Why does this tower have to be so high up!” It was James, Regulus smiled to himself when he heard James’ voice. Just then the door opens and reveals dishevelled James.
“Regulus… I was hoping you would um you know be here. I don’t know why you would know that, you are probably here all the time, with you being named after two stars, of course you would be up here-”
“James”
“-And I’m acting like an idiot just rambling why you are up here-”
“James”
“-Like of course you would be up here it’s your life, your legacy”
“JAMES!”
“Yes?”
“You were in your own world there and I’ve been trying to get your attention”
“Oh I’m sorry I just you know block people out when I get like that” James said shyly like he was embarrassed
“James it’s fine, I just wanted to tell you and ask you a couple things”
“Oh okay go for it, I’m all ears”
“Okay first, yes I do come up here all the time to look at the stars. Secondly today is different, I came up here so I could ask you a question” Regulus said quite quickly like he was nervous he wasn’t going to ask the question if he didn’t speak quickly.
“Okay that was really sweet but anyway, ask away,”
“I-Um wanted to ask you- Um how do I do this? You know what I’m just going to go for it, I guess? Will you go on a date with me tomorrow?” Regulus asked in a way that it sounded like he wanted to say it before he didn’t, like he was afraid of the answer. He then realised James hasn’t answered, he looks up from his feet to see James smiling like a goofball, eyes a little wide like he was surprised. Regulus thought he was really obvious about his crush. HE FLIRTED for pete's sake, that wasn't that long ago, he also stares at James all the time, like a lot.
“I-I w-” James started
“You don’t have to you know, if you don’t want to it’s fine, I can take the rejection-” this time it's James cutting off Regulus
“Regulus I would love to. You’re the only reason I came up here tonight too. I was going to ask you the same thing.”
“Really?!” You’re not just saying that?” Regulus asked
“Yes I mean it. Meu amor.” Regulus blushed at the last phrase
“Really, because it would be f-”
“Oh my! Reggie!” James walked toward Regulus lightly grabbing his face pulling him in for a kiss, Regulus quickly reciprocated. The kiss was like nothing either of them had before, James’ hands made their way down to Regulus’ waist, Regulus’ hands were around James’ neck. The kiss was warm and new but also so familiar, like home. Not like with Walburga and Orion, Regulus’ parents but like when Sirius was still at home holding Regulus during his nightmares. It felt like love… Regulus loves James and he’s not mad about it, he's actually happy. For the first time since Sirius ran away, Regulus is happy, like really happy. They pull apart but don’t go far, they are resting their foreheads together.
“I would love to go on a date with you Reggie. You have to take my word after that because that was was amazing” James exclaimed
“Eh- it was okay but I think you can do better” Regulus said smirking
“Oh really, well I thought that it was good,” James said while playing Reg's game.
“Yeah? I think you should prove it.”
“Okay” and just like that they are kissing again this time it’s faster and more heated.

He didn’t go for his run this morning because he was too tired since he got back to his dorm till 1am last night. He was also too excited for his date with Reggie today. He’s spent the whole morning getting ready, it looks like his dresser exploded all over his bed from trying on outfits. Remus walked into his room at 8am.
“Woah Prongs, what happened? Did you fight your dresser?” Remus asked while chuckling
“Ha ha Remus, very funny but I need to find an outfit.”
“Why not the one you have on” Remus said pointing out his black silk button down shirt and his black trousers.
“Because it needs to be fancy but not too fancy like this one. Like look at me I am hot but also boyfriend material you know but also like something you wear on a first date. Can you help?”
“Oooh Prongsie is going on a date, finally over Regulus and asked out the mystery person? And yes I will help.”
“Yeah I’m going on a date with the mystery person.” He said purposefully not answering the Regulus question because he hates lying to his friends, but he can’t tell them who it is quite yet because he and Regulus haven’t even been on a date yet.
“So Prongs, where are you guys going?” Remus asked, now going through James’ clothes.
“Umm I don’t know, they said it was a surprise.” James shrugged
“Wait, they asked you out?” James nodded “Oh that's brilliant, I thought you were going to ask them out?”
“I was but they beat me to it.”
“Okay tell me everything.”
“Oh my. Okay so I got up there and they were already there, then I rambled a bit and then they said they were there for me not just looking at the stars, then asked me out.”
“Oh come on there has to be more!” Remus exclaimed
“Okay fine. They thought I was just messing with them when I said yes and they then started rambling so I kissed them to prove th-”
“WAIT! You kissed and didn’t immediately tell me?!”
“No? I’m sorry I didn’t want to wake you up at 1am.”
“You should be but please do continue.”
“So we kissed more after that, then we talked. Like really talked, for hours and it was amazing.”
“That's great Prongs and I think I found the perfect outfit, go try it on.” Remus holds out the outfit. James tried it on and walked out, he was wearing a deep red crewneck sweater and some light wash jeans then he was going to wear his bright red converse. He stepped in front of his mirror.
“This is going to sound really cheesy but it's perfect.”
“I know, I’m amazing, now what time is your date?”
“Prongs is going on a date?” Sirius asked now standing at the door
“Yes, him and the mystery person”
“Yeah and I have to go in” James looks at his watch “20 minutes. I’m meeting them there.”
“So will we get to meet this person or?” Peter asks, also now standing in the doorway with Sirius.
“Yes, you will but it’s the first date so don’t jinx anything.” James said, looking at all three of them.
“Okay” they all said in unison.

James at the designated meet spot ten minutes early and five minutes later Regulus arrived.
“Hi” James said to Regulus when he got close enough
“Hi” the younger responded
“So what are we doing?” James wondered
“We are going to go to a cute little cafe I know and get to know eachother better, if that's okay.”
“Yes, that's perfect!” When they get to the cafe James orders a caramel frappe and Regulus orders a Black Earl Grey tea.
“I don’t know how you drink those, they are like pure sugar.” Regulus says while looking at James’ drink
“What can I say I have a sweet tooth”
“Yes, I can tell. So James, what is your favourite colour?”
“Orange but not bright orange, soft like the sunset. What's yours?”
“I can't choose between dark green and navy blue.” That explains Regulus’ outfit, he’s wearing a dark green knit sweater black jeans and navy blue converse. They continue to get to know eachother like the little things that people think no one cares about.

James walked Regulus to his dorm and now they are both standing there like idiots.
“Can I ask you a question?” James asks staring right into Regulus’ eyes
“Yes you can, what is it?”
“Umm well I was wondering if you wanted to be my boyfriend? I know we have only gone on one date but I really really really like you and I think you like me. And I had a lot of fun today.” James is cut off by Regulus’ lips hitting his own. Regulus is the first one to pull away.
“Yes James, I would love to be your boyfriend.” Regulus said out of breath
“Really?”
“Yes really, mon amour. I really like you too.”
“YES! Regulus Black is my boyfriend!” James says a little loudly after picking up Regulus and spinning.
“Is it okay if we keep it a secret though? I don’t want it to get to my parents and have them either disown me or beat me to death for being gay. And the people in my dorm hall aren’t really allies. Times may be changing but my parents and the rest of my family aren’t going to and neither are some others. If you don’t want me anymore that's fine.”
“Reggie. I would never leave you for not wanting to advertise our relationship, I hate that you are still living with them and that you have to worry about that. You mean so much to me and that will never change, if you need or want something you can tell me and you got it. You are perfect no matter what baggage you come with, I like you for all of you, not just the happy part. If you ever need a place to stay you come to me because you will always have a place at my house, dating or not.” James hugs Regulus
“Thank you so much James, really thank you.” Regulus says with tears wetting James shoulder.

James and Regulus go on their secret dates for the next month and a half but it is November 3rd that messes up their happiness. They still haven’t told Sirius yet or any of James’ friends for that matter, they know he’s dating someone they just don’t know who. The only people who know are Barty and Evan and they found out because James left his bright red sweater in their dorm and no one there wears red, then Evan saw James wearing that sweater a few days later. They are planning on telling Sirius before Christmas but fate seems to have other plans.

November 3rd Sirius’ birthday

“Happy birthday Padfoot!” All three of his roommates yell when he first wakes up at 10am, luckily it was a Saturday so they could party late and still be able to go to class on Monday. As Sirius was walking the halls, so many people wished him a happy birthday. He decided to invite his little brother to the party.
“Hey Reg-ulus” Sirius said hesitantly
“Hi Sirius, happy birthday.”
“Thanks Reg, um would you like to come to the party tonight? You can bring your friends if you want to?”
“Yeah sure but I think I’ll just come alone. They can be a bit much at parties. But yeah I’ll come.”
“Thank you so much, you have no idea what this means to me.”
“Of course Siri I love you.” Sirius had now started to cry
“I love you too Reggie. Forever and always.” They say that last bit in sync, like old times.

Sirius’ party (yay)

They have now started to play truth or dare which could be lethal.
“James, truth or dare?” One of the Prewett twins asks
“Dare obviously” James answers
“I dare you to kiss Lily Evans.”
“No I won’t kiss anyone, I’m dating someone.” James said not wanting to kiss Lily at all let alone in front of Regulus.
“Oh come on I don’t see them anywhere and you would’ve a year ago.” the boy said
“No! I don’t want to and I haven’t liked Lily in years! Also my boyfriend is in this room, not that I would do it if he wasn’t, but it makes it worse. And I think I’m going to stop playing now.” James said getting up and walking away, a little bit later Regulus gets up and walks over to James.
“Hey Jamie, how are you doing?” Regulus looks concerned
“I’m fine, I just hate that he thought I would do that and that some people still think I like Lily, everyone knows I’m in a relationship just not with who.”
“I know James, if it makes it better we can tell Sirius tomorrow? Then you don’t have to keep it from your close friends.” Reg suggests
“Yeah that would be great but can we just go to bed, I’m tired?”
“Yes of course we can, darling. Let's go.” Reg said while grabbing James making sure no one is looking then going upstairs and not worrying about tomorrow at the moment.

“Prongs has his boyfriend in his room?” Sirius asked
“Yeah someone said they saw James walk up with somebody they just didn’t see who.” Pete answered. James was awake now and so was Regulus, they were just listening for a bit
“Should I go look? I’m going to go look.” Sirius said
“Pads no, just let them sleep.” Remus tried to stop his boyfriend
“Nope I have to find out who it is” Sirius says walking towards James’ door.
“Okay it's your funeral when James kills you for snooping.” Pete adds on. Reg and James can hear Sirius skip over and wait by the door for a bit. They don’t move because that would be more suspicious just then Sirius opens the door.
“Jamesssss- and Regulus? Wait, I thought you were in here with your boyfriend?” Sirius asks with a slightly angry tone
“I am Sirius, Regulus is my boyfriend and we’ve been dating since the end of September,” Regulus nods along to James’ statement. Peter and Remus are now standing at the door.
“WHAT! You’re dating my innocent baby brother?!” Sirius yells at James
“Well-” Regulus starts but James cuts him off
“Nope. don’t finish that sentence if you want me to live.” James says, covering Regulus’ mouth with his hand.
“You of all people can’t be dating my brother! You are my best friend. MINE! And you can’t have us both, no that's not how it works.” Sirius says loudly
“I can have both and I will because it's my life and you can't make that decision for me!” James yells back
“No. You are going to break his heart and make him go back to our parents!”
“No I am not going to do that because I love him and I would gladly take his place! And I would’ve done the same for you if I could! I love you both and I can’t lose either of you!” James spills
“You-you love him?” Sirius asks wide eyed
“Yes I do, and I have for years.”
“And what about you Regulus? Do you love James?” Sirius asks now looking at Regulus
“Yes I do Siri, I love him so much, and he makes me happy. Happier than I’ve ever been.” Regulus says holding eye contact with James.
“Okay. If you two are happy. I guess it’s fine.” Sirius says with his head held high.
“We are happy” James and Regulus say in unison.
“Okay, but no kissing in front of me or I will kill you both.” Sirius stares at them
“No promises” Regulus says chuckling
“And please don’t hurt each other, you two are too important to me.” Sirius says
“We won't. But can you leave so we can talk about what was just said?” James asks
“Oh um yeah. I’ll see you two after.” Sirius says with finger guns then they all left.
“So umm you love me?” James asks
“Yes and you love me” Reg responded
“Of course who wouldn’t?”
“My parents” Reg chuckled
“Oh Reg, please don’t go back there. Screw your inheritance, live with me I’ll support you or you could get a job if you really wanted during the summer.” James said with tears in his eyes.
“What about Sirius, how will he get money?” Reg responded also crying.
“He got all of your Uncle Alphard’s money when he died.”
“He did?”
“Yeah and he has a summer job and has been saying up money for you and him.” James says holding Regulus’ hand now.
“Okay then I’ll come home with you at Christmas and move in. As long as your parents are okay with it?” Reg said with a wet smile
“They’re okay with it, I’m pretty sure they’ve had your room set up since Sirius ran away.” James smiled
“Okay then, I’m coming home with you.” Regulus said as he jumped into James’ arms. They stayed there for a little longer then got up to go tell Sirius who actually screamed and squeezed Regulus so hard he almost broke ribs.

December 22nd, 1977. Regulus came home with us, I have never been happier. I will marry this man, he is my home and I am his. I love him to the moon and to saturn. I would marry him with paper rings but he likes shiny things. I'm going to propose after we are out of school because he is my soulmate, my forever, the king of my heart. Bye for now -JFP