Dazai's Diagnosis
Snape sighs looking at the atrocious poison that Dazai made, “Dazai… just go to lunch, let me take care of this mess.” he growls, feeling physical pain just by staring at the cauldron, perplexed.
“Ownn, Snape is so caring for his favorite student!” Dazai answered in his usual ‘!’ childish tone, it’s not like he is childish at all- just… a kid. No, he is a grown-up, right? He is already twelve.
“I don’t play favorites while I'm teaching, and it’s Professor Snape for you.” Snape barks back while the brunet turns on his back, waving backwards.
-
Dazai turned a corner, what did he have to do again? Right, it’s time for the lunch break. Everyone must be at the Great Hall, except…
“Dazai, I'm right here.” Blaise’s voice echoed around the corridor, loud enough to reach Dazai’s ear in the end of the corridor, but low enough for just the two of them to hear or for others to pay any attention at all.
The younger one looks back to see Blaise standing next to a wall with his arms crossed on his chest. “Oh, hello Blaise! Waiting for me?”
“Yes, I was waiting for you, I will take you to the Great Hall.” He talks back and waits for Dazai to approach him, his expression is monotone, but his eyes are shining when looking at Dazai, and he notices it.
“Aww, Blaise is no fun. But I guess that I have no choice, no?” He basically jumps to his friend’s side, who almost flinches.
They both start walking towards the Great Hall. Blaise couldn’t help but notice (he already noticed it earlier, although he only thought about it now) how Dazai is clumsy, he never walks in a straight line, which is kinda funny.
The lunch was the same as always, Dazai barely ate, and Blaise sneaked some food on his plate, and the food was crab, of course. Blaise knew how hard it was for Dazai to eat something that wasn’t crab, which raised his suspicions that his boss, Osamu, wasn’t very… how would he verbalize this? Normal, maybe. Changing his words, he always noticed how Dazai seemed… neurodivergent? But he wouldn’t say it out loud.
As they left the Great Hall, a familiar red head appeared.
Dazai silently, but quickly, approaches the girl behind her back, “Why, it’s Ginny!” Dazai shouted out loud when seeing the familiar face. She was startled at first and almost screamed, but she calmed down at the moment she turned her back, facing the one who scared her.
“Oh, it’s you, Dazai… your footsteps are quiet, you know?” Ginny replied in a nervous tone.
Dazai didn’t answer her question, more like a rhetorical question though, instead he turned to Blaise, completely ignoring her. “We should do a gang meeting, it’s been a while since we last met.”
'...I feel ignored.' Ginny thought as she walked away, ignoring the ‘couple’ back.
Blaise nodded quietly, watching Ginny walk away. Dazai started, “Soo, we should get Draco. What if I fake kidnap him again? Would he be mad? Probably, and…” the brunet started talking alone, but Blaise listened to every single word (even if it wasn’t clear).
As they came back to the Great Hall to drag the fellow Malfoy with them, Dazai was already starting to feel uneasy. The smell of the foods, he didn’t like them, no, he would never.
Dazai quietly approached Draco and put his hands over his eyes, the blond already knew who it was at this point. “What are you doing here?!” Draco shouted as he recognized the bandaged and hurt hand, the skin was tickling his face.
“I’m here to kidnap you! Now close your eyes and be quiet, no one will notice.” The bandaged teen whispered, at this moment, no one really noticed the two of them together.
Osamu put his hands below Draco’s arms and, with Blaise’s help, Draco was able to stand and make his own way behind Dazai.
-
The Room of Requirement quickly appeared right in front of them when no one else was around, they opened the giant doors and entered the room.
Pansy and the Wealeys were already there, doing their own things. Pansy was looking forward to asking her father for a new dress, Ron played chess with himself, and the twins were just chatting, but they all stopped doing their things when they noticed Dazai in the room, which didn’t take longer than 5 seconds.
Draco entered the room along with Blaise and Dazai, looking around for a place for him to sit, which was successful because he found one.
Dazai sat on his chair, “Any news?” he said in a bossy tone, going straight to the gang business. Pansy was quiet, but paying attention. They weren’t that familiar with each other since she just joined the gang, but they are respecting each other more than ever.
“Our sales are going really well, I guess that no one really knows about Lockhart’s test, even better, life.” Fred answered almost immediately. “Absolutely no one knows, that’s why we are becoming so rich!” George said right after his twin, the two of them started giggling.
The brunet looked down for a moment before replying. “We should keep stealing the answers of his tests until Lockhart discovers them, but I don’t think that he ever will. He thinks that everyone is reading his books...” He pauses to take a breath. “...And trying hard to get to know him.” Dazai finishes in a tired tone, his boss' personality disappearing in a second..
“Boss, you look tired.” George said and exchanged a worried look with George. “Definitely, our little snakey should get some rest.” Fred hummed right after the other twin stopped talking to approach Dazai.
Dazai was zoning out before looking at their faces again and replying “I’m fine, really, these assignments are killing me” in a sarcastic tone.
Pansy was still quiet, but she opened her mouth, “Jokes on you, you don’t do assignments.”
“Eh, you got me there.” Dazai mumbled quietly.
“You should really have some sleep, your eyebags are bigger.” Ron said something for the first time, but Dazai wasn’t very pleased by his first sentence of the day. Everyone was so quiet today.
Osamu sighs and stands up, ignoring his friends words, but walking into a small corner of the room and fitting himself in it, hugging his legs and putting his chin over his knees.
‘I guess that he is really going to rest’ Blaise thought and walked over to Dazai in a small space between a couch and a wall.
“Where is Hermione?” Ron asked, looking into his brother's eyes.
“Dunno, you’re the one who’s dating her, not us.” Both answered in the same tone and time, twins telepathy, they say.
Ron frowns and his cheeks get a new shade of a light pink, he ignores the twins.
Blaise sat on the couch next to Dazai, he can’t help but feel worried for this black cat that he calls ‘boss’.
Dazai’s breath is calm and quiet, but since he told Blaise what was the reason for him to go to Hogwarts, Blaise feels like he can’t believe that Dazai could be calm after everything that he’s going through. It always looked like he’s carrying such a heavy weight on his shoulder, it always looked like he was afraid of every single adult that touched him, it always looked like he needed help. Blaise is so fucking worried.
-
Snape was pouring himself honey on his tea while thinking of Dazai, he was looking so tired today, so exhausted. He takes his tea cup and walks over to the letter he found, ‘punishment’ ‘new dress' it all worried him.
He sits on his chair, he is deep in his thoughts. A loud sigh coming out of his own mouth could be heard, why was this problem child so sad and troubled? Their moments together kept flowing in his imagination, the various moments where he flinched, where he noticed that his eyes were almost tearing up, he always looked on the verge of tears. He shouldn’t worry, after all he was supposed to be just another student like every other, but he wasn’t.
Dazai was different, and Snape was willing to help him because of this.
Without him noticing, his tea was already empty. He stood up and left his office, he needed to see Dazai, he needed to check if he was okay. It’s not like he would ever answer his questions sincerely, but he is and always will do these questions over and over again, until he is able to help him.
Snape walked on the big, but empty, hall, looking for his problem child.
He turned in a corner for the fourth time, and there was Dazai, quietly walking next to his friend, Blaise. Snape approached, “Mr. Dazai, come to my office.” his stern voice echoed, the kid quickly turned around.
“Oh, hi professor Snape! You missed me, didn’t you?” The mafioso said loudly and excitedly, his dropped facade came back when seeing his dear professor.
Severus hummed something before turning back, heading towards his office while waiting for Dazai to approach him.
Dazai waved to Blaise, who was standing still next to him, and rushed to Snape’s side. “I-” He was about to say something, but stopped mid-sentence and hoped that the professor didn’t hear what he was trying to say.
“What?” The professor asked, not confused, just trying to make Dazai to finish his sentence.
“Nothing!” Dazai exclaimed.
They both stopped walking when they arrived at their desired place and Snape opened the door for his student.
Dazai sat down on a chair next to Snape’s ‘office’ table, looking around even if he already knew what his office looked like, but there was a new book, something like ‘Neur [...] Autis [...]’, but he couldn’t read everything.. He wasn’t really in the mood to talk, so he would just stare at a random place and wait for his professor to start talking. Snape opened his mouth and started talking, “Are you okay?”
“Mhm, yes, I am, sir! What about you?” Dazai replied in a nonchalant tone, trying to ignore how worried Snape’s expression seemed.
“Dazai, stop lying to me…” He thought about changing his words. “...What are you feeling?’
Osamu looked confused. He was neutral today, as always. “I’m just normal, neutral, I guess. Why?” He whispered the ‘I guess’ to himself.
“Normal?”
“Yes sir.”
-
flashback
“I suspect that Dazai has… um… depression.” Promfey said in a worried tone, her body is tense and her mouth is trembling, it looks like she is on the verge of tears.
“Elaborate?..” McGonagall replied to the woman, exchanging a concerned look to Snape’s dark and almost empty eyes.
Promfey was hesitating to talk again, to answer Minerva’s question. “I noticed some traits that Dazai shares with depressive teens,” She stopped mid-sentence to sigh, “the person can have extreme exhaustion, have no will to live, feel sad most of the time if not 100% and not be eating properly. And in worse cases, just like I suspect, it could be severe depression. Worse symptoms, but taking the sadness and replacing it with emptiness. The feeling of being ‘normal’, ‘neutral’ is often said by those teens who are questioned.”
The other professors were quiet during her explanation, concerningly quiet. Poppy explained for a few more minutes, to a point where both were on the verge of tears, but they didn’t start tearing up.
“- it has no cure, but it needs a lot of support, not overworking him and being understandable. We could provide these, but I need your help too.” Promfey finished talking, and just after she finished, McGonagall started tearing up.
It looked so complicated, no, it is complicated, but more sad. He couldn’t believe how smart Poppy was, how it would be if they weren’t able to help him with Poppy’s ‘diagnosis’.
The thought of Dazai being like this and ending up just like Poppy said, “depressive teens tend to commit suicide”, was tearing him apart, honestly, he doesn’t know what to do. Poppy tries to comfort McGonagall without crying and Snape, himself, fights the urge of crying too. He hadn’t cried in a long time.
-
“Dazai, look at me in the eyes.” Snape whispered while noticing his student picking on his bandages and the unbandaged skin. The boy quickly looked up, still picking on his arm.
He stayed quiet, not daring to say a word while an adult was speaking.
He sighs, “I-… Mr. Blaise got you some food." He stood up and grabbed a plate with small pieces of crab, slowly placing it in front of Dazai. When did Blaise get this? He didn’t notice it earlier.
“I don’t feel like eating right now, I already had lunch.” Osamu said with a smirk, not clearly, but faking it. He pushed the plate forward, but not too much. Snape’s piercing eyes look over Dazai’s exposed skin, looking for a bruise.
“Please eat.” The professor said, pushing the plate again in front of Dazai.
Snape sounded serious. Normally, he would just mumble how much Osamu is giving him Dazai headaches’ and how he shouldn’t be caring about this, but he is looking pretty scary, Dazai would say.
Dazai slowly picks up a piece of crab and places it in his mouth, eating slowly and chewing slowly. He is not motivated today to say the least.
“Now, I want to have a talk with you.” Snape starts the topic and Dazai shivers, he doesn’t like this sentence.
“First of all, I want you to know that we are here for you and we are able to provide any help you need.” Snape remembered Promfey saying these exact same things for him to pass to the student, he repeated the words in his head and repeated it out loud for Osamu, “And if you’re struggling with anything, I should be here for you, do not hesitate to ask for help.”
The brunet picks another piece of crab and puts it in his mouth, realizing what was the topic that Snape had started, but wanted to mess with him just so he doesn’t forget how insufferable he is.
“Are you about to talk with me about abuse again?” He says in a mocking tone, trying to hide how teary his eyes were to become.
Snape sighs, remembering to not shout at him and continue his calm expression, he doesn’t want to see the boy’s startled face again. “Continuing my sentence, I wanted to talk about something specific. Do you know what mental illness is and what is neurodivergent?” He asked.
Dazai blinked twice, right, Mori is a doctor, he already told him what these things were, but he didn’t want to search further. “Yes, I guess that I do.”
“Great. Your classmate, Blaise, told me some things about you that makes him think that you are… neurodivergent, more specifically, Autistic.” Snape said.
“Oh that actually makes sense.” Dazai admitted while pushing his plate forward again, he wasn’t interested in eating right now, and he already ate two pieces.
Severus looked pretty surprised by Osamu's acknowledgement of this, but he continued explaining anyway.
“We, professors of Hogwarts, will be in charge of making sure that we will not make you overwhelmed nor…” ‘how should I say this?’ “...overworked or in the need of masking.” Severus informed.
‘masking?’ Dazai thought. He was confused, but his expression says that he is understanding every single word. He nodded, letting Snape continue his speech.
Snape hesitated before saying, “Now, moving into more concerning topics… Do you know what depression is?”
Dazai didn’t like how Snape talked to him like a little kid, of course he knew! He was diagnosed with Depression by Mori! Oh… he shouldn’t say this, but he doesn’t think that Snape would know how deep it is, after all it is a ‘muggle thing’.
“I was diagnosed with it, although I don’t really care about it.” Dazai replied, dodging his question, but turning it into something more concerning.
Snape’s eyes widened considerably, staring at Dazai intensely. “I understand…” He mutters in a quiet and low voice, his gaze flicked around for a second, looking at the full plate in front of him.
They were quiet for some seconds before Snape’s mouth opened.
“You are free to go.” He says.
Dazai looks at his professor’s eyes before breaking eye contact and standing up slowly. “Anyways! Thank you for the nice talk. See you!” His problem child shouts before leaving the office, flapping his hands up in a wave to say goodbye.
Coincidentally, Blaise was standing outside Snape’s office, leaning against a wall with a book in his hands. “There you are.” Blaise uttered.
The brunet almost jumped at the surprise that waited for him outside of the room. “Oh, hello, Blaise!” He looks at Blaise in the eyes and his lips curl in a pretty smile. “You’re such a good second-in-command, huh?”
Blaise ignored his ‘question’ and closed his book, holding it below his armpit and taking Dazai’s hands in his. “Did you have fun?”
“Not really! Snape just muttered about diagnosis things, boring as always! I also noticed a new book…” Then Dazai zones out, talking about every single detail. He is very detailist.
His second-in-command listened to his every single word like always while guiding him towards the Room of Requirement, where Dazai uses to sleep at.