Chapter 2
She is not allowed to leave the castle. Hunith, the queen (her mother), is terrified of letting her go outside without supervision and reliable company, which is fair, after all she is the princess, but she never felt like she always needed to be accompanied in her own kingdom and even castle sometimes. Mom even walked faster when they were walking together without guards at her side. For the princess of Asterion, this made no sense.
At five years old, Merlin was an incurably curious little girl with a great tangle of night-black curls that were always covered in flowers that leaped from the earth to hide on her head. Once she asked her mother why only a few people in the kingdom had such long hair, that's how mom told her about tradition and strength, the longer the hair, the greater the strength in battle and the greater the respect, and how Merlin already She was powerful and the princess, her hair should always be long.
The first time he was allowed to leave, it was thanks to the wise druids that his father, Balinor, welcomed into his kingdom, druids from the sacred tribe of the mother Goddess, and who were very kind. Only when the old priest Allan tells Merlin's parents that she "was ready", Merlin stops being a secret and becomes part of the kingdom, being named to the people in public as the crown princess, daughter of Hunith of Ealdor and Balinor of Asterion.
The druids give her several names, none of which are something a five-year-old can pronounce correctly, but they are said to be important and noble, so she accepts them without much trouble.
Even after being officially named, Merlin still knows that his mother isn't happy, she tries to hide it, but Merlin still knows, she always knows, how could she not? I mean, the magic whispered to her all kinds of information, all she had to do was look at something and the magic would talk to her, sometimes it wouldn't work, either because the person has little power or because they know how to hide. Well, even so, Merlin always knew what others felt, no one could hide it from her.
The inside of his chambers is the only place where Merlin can be carefree. The only place where she can work her magic without worrying about hurting her mother, where she can decorate her mother's dresses with gold dust or make flowers to adorn her father's unruly curls.
"Thank you, Merlin. You really know how to make me happy with your flowers." Mom thanks her, as she always did, it was the middle of winter, not long before Merlin turned six, and her mother was a little sad while Dad traveled to Camelot, she was always worried to see the king leaving home, even though he was accompanied by his uncle, old Kilgarrah.
"Not always"
Hunith looks at her absently from where she was sitting on the bed.
"What do you mean, honey? Mommy loves your flowers."
"Not always," Merlin pouts. "You hate that I do them outside, even when Dad and the Druids say it's okay. You're ashamed of me –"
Merlin felt hurt, he loved his mother, but it seemed like she didn't love him that much, Merlin loved watching Hunith do magic and so did his father, but his mother didn't smile the same way when Merlin made flowers or created golden powder to decorate the clothes.
The queen drops what she is doing and immediately joins him on the wooden floor, taking his little hands in hers.
"Never think about this nonsense again. You are my princess, my daughter, I love you and your magic"
"Then why do you always hide me? Chief Allan said I was special, that I was something to be appreciated and loved."
"Oh my Darling." Mom sighs, there are tears in her beautiful hazel eyes. "You are loved and greatly appreciated, it is not because of who you are that I hide you." She pauses briefly to brush one of Merlin's long locks out of her eyes before letting out a long sigh.
Hunith waits for a sign of discomfort and when they don't come she pulls her daughter onto her lap right there in the middle of the floor, her tasks long forgotten. She runs her hands through his hair before resting her chin under his head.
"Do you remember your father's friend?"
"The pompous idiot?" your mother laughs and waves.
"Yes, Merlin, the 'pompous idiot', well, his name is Uther, he is king of Camelot, to the north –"
"Yes, I remember, I read about him while studying with Dad, what's up with him?"
Hunith takes a deep breath and starts talking.
"Many years ago, before you were born, an old friend of ours, Nimueh, had a vision -"
Merlin perks up and turns his big white eyes to his mother.
"She's a priestess!?"
The queen laughed, the sound of her laughter sounded like bells going "Tintin", Merlin thought it was beautiful, however subtle and funny it was.
"She was the greatest of priestesses, powerful and knowledgeable, if a little naive, anyway, we were in a meeting when she appeared talking about what she saw. Telling about a bright future for everyone and everything, and about how peace would come someday" Hunith sighed, Merlin could feel her tiredness from afar "but with the good news also came the bad, she predicted that there among us the heir of Albion lay hidden, the once and future king, destined to rule over the land alongside magic and bring about the much-desired golden age."
"Sounds like a beautiful sight, Mommy."
"Ah, yes, it seems so, but only until you know everything else."
"Everything else -"
Merlin couldn't hear the end of his mother's story, he learned on his own what she meant by "bad news." That winter afternoon, all the dragons and their human brothers, Merlin's uncles, left for Camelot claiming to be summoned by the king. They were gone, and the peaceful kingdom was left unprotected, guarded only by the wooden knights created by Merlin and Hunith.
Men dressed in all colors attacked the walls and then the people, there were many of them, and they came from everywhere, they even tried to fight, but spilling blood on sacred ground was unforgivable, all that was left for them was to flee and try to survive.
The last thing Merlin remembers seeing of his mother that day, before he was taken away by the druids, was King Uther cutting off his head with a single blow.
Merlin runs a pale hand over the extensive necklace of bruises embedded in his neck, it had been a few days, and they were still hurting. Fortunately, there were still no signs of any knights looking for him.
It was weeks trapped in Ronrah's hand, weeks he prefers not to remember, but, thank the gods, he was back, there was a small argument between the druids and Merlin, about his leaving to protect his people. The discussion lasted for days, but the druids weren't accepting it, so he made a decision without consulting everyone, it was time for him to leave home and find a home where he fit in.
Chief Allan wanted to refuse, the old man tried to beg him to rethink his choices, but Merlin refused, he had to go, he was tired of not feeling happy anywhere since he lost everything, now more than ever, he was afraid. Merlin would leave for the lands of Camelot and hide there, the neighboring kingdom would be the only place where Ronrah would never look for him, and Merlin knew that the king would not rest until he found him and had what he wanted, between being killed and being hunted. For his power, he preferred death.
"There is an old friend of mine in the kingdom, he worked as an apothecary the last time I saw him" explained Allan, sitting his prince on one of the thick roots of the tree closest to them, the dear even made a point of lifting the roots a little so that he could if you sat down.
"And when was the last time you saw this 'friend', exactly, Allan?" the priest had to stop and think, trying hard to remember.
"In truth -"
"You don't even know if the old man is alive, do you?"
"My Lord!" he scolds sternly, making his prince laugh, "That's no way to refer to someone, especially when you don't know them and -"
"Anyway," he continues as if the priest hadn't spoken in the first place, "whether he's alive or not, all I need is a place to hide, I can just spend some time near the walls, close enough that Ronrah won't let me in find, but far enough away for Uther not to suspect me, easy - Ouch!"
The wise old man refuses to roll his eyes, wanting to remain polite to his prince, but years of raising the boy don't leave you immune to his sarcastic manner.
"It's not my fault you spend more time thinking than combing those curls. When was your last shower?" Merlin doesn't respond, Allan passes the bone comb and some of the knots pull the young man's hair.
"That hurts!"
"You see, son, when you leave here you will no longer have the care or recognition you have now, you will be just another helpless commoner boy in the world."
"I know, old man, I'm ready for this, my people will be safer without me drawing attention to you."
Allan sighs, he didn't feel ready to part with his protégé.
"You will always be welcome among us, my lord, but I understand that you need is not only to protect the people, but also to find yourself in the world, we all go through this phase of life, I am not surprised that yours has reached sooner, although I must admit that I don't feel right sending him alone to an unknown realm. So even though my friend is no longer under the same plane as us, please look for him when you get there, just so I know that you are not alone."
The young prince sighs but nods to ease the old man's nerves. Allan nods, feeling more at peace with the whole situation.
"Thank you for that, sir." he finishes untangling the boy's curls and finally replaces the comb with scissors, Ronrah had forced Merlin to cut off his strength and honor in a moment of desperation, he is not proud of what he did, but he was frightened and afraid, cutting off his Hair was necessary so he could begin his transition toward growth in spirit and wisdom, even though cutting his hair caused him pain. He didn't feel worthy of keeping his long locks, not when he ran away while his mother and soldiers fought to protect the people, not when he needed to be protected by the druids without being able to fight, not when he was weak before the king who kept him in captivity for weeks.
Merlin was not worthy of honor and strength, but he would do anything to be, starting with the ordeal of killing Arthur Pendragon and his tyrant father, thus freeing his people and proving himself worthy of being prince of Asterion.
The remains of his hair were cut close to the back of his neck, the curls disappeared one by one and with each lost strand Merlin hears Allan sobbing, he knows that the old man cries to understand the meaning of the hair for Merlin, he is grateful that Allan accepted the job to cut for him anyway.
When night falls and everyone lies down to rest, Merlin escapes from his tent and walks through the woods, he knows he should stay in his place, where it is safe, and not venture into places he has never been, but he will anyway. Like this. He walks for a long time before finally reaching the banks of the river. He loved that place, at least once since he escaped he would go out and walk there.
That was one of the rivers of Epona, goddess of water and horses, it touched all the 5 kingdoms and flowed straight into the sea, mother said that to cross Epona's river without worrying about an accident, you should make an offering to the goddess, otherwise a herd of horses would prevent you from passing.
Anyone who stopped there would say that the place was terrible, somewhat gritty and lifeless, despite being close to a river belonging to Epona, but that wasn't true. Despite the burned ground and lost trees, the place still breathed, still fought to exist, fought to live as beautiful as it once was.
"Hello again, it's been a while, hasn't it?" Merlin didn't need to apologize, the trees, the river, everything there knew that he wasn't to blame for anything, Merlin lived on magic, he was the son of the sky, the sea and the earth, not just his parents and the whole earth lived and breathed with him, even where the gods rested.
Moving closer to the waters, Merlin removed his socks and allowed his skin to come into direct contact with the ground. Everything shook, the earth shook, cracked, and then split open, thick, half-withered roots reaching outward and twisting until they created a crooked throne. It wasn't pretty, it was sad, in fact, but it didn't matter, because Merlin appreciated the gesture, he liked the fact that he was welcome there.
"Excuse me." He asked politely as he sat down.
The roots welcomed him into a gentle embrace and the river waters churned, struggling to reach his feet. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to breathe deeply, the ground breathing with him.
Clouds rise above and grow, then float, darken, and dump their rain on the wounded lands. Grass is born and sings as the breeze blows. The roots of the throne sigh with relief at being watered and allow themselves to grow flowers.
Bees appear to smell the flowers on the throne and butterflies soon adorn the place, rain wets where Merlin rests, and the moon seems to paint the small clearing in shades of silver, everything around him screams safety, Merlin feels protected and safe. Saved from problems, safe from the terrible kings who ruled cruelly, safe from the death that has surrounded him since he was five years old. He feels like he could live there forever.
A beautiful butterfly lands on his nose the moment he closes his eyes, it tickles his nose, but it's fine, he was fine.
The peace is suddenly interrupted when something heavy falls behind him. Your heart beats against your chest. There was someone with him. The heart beats faster, it's almost painful this time, and it's beating much, much faster too.
Every little place went silent, so quiet that Merlin could hear his blood coursing through his veins. Footsteps were getting closer, the forest screamed that there was no danger, and Merlin's mind was screaming at him to run.
Tum-tum-tum-tum
The ground seems to be losing its air, the earth rises and falls with more force than before, following his accelerated heartbeat. Flowers with thorns appear and bloom in seconds, bursting from their leafy casings as if they can't wait to see the sky and feel the air. Entire trees surround the clearing like a natural barrier, birds fly amidst the summoned rain clouds. The river creates waves that crash against the hillside like the gallops of enraged horses, and the sky hides the moon to preserve Merlin's hiding place, while thunder flashes and booms overhead to drown out the noises outside.
The footsteps get closer and its owner seems to stumble, only when a curse sounds out does Merlin allow himself to sigh. He relaxes against his throne of roots and tears of relief roll down his cheeks as the forest opens to give way to Will, his only and best friend.
"Damn, Merlin, what a great wall you created, man. Gods, I almost fell there."
Merlin manages to laugh at the situation, but his chest remains too heavy to be genuine, his laugh comes out hysterically.
"Oh." Will seems to notice the anguish that caused him as he approaches, but not too much, just enough for his friend to know that he is still there. "Sorry about that, you must have been terrified, right?"
The youngest nods, still in tears.
"Sorry, I arrived a few hours ago, Boss Allan said you left, I knew you'd be here so –" Merlin cut him off.
"It's okay, just me being an idiot, sorry Will, I just got a little scared." Your friend smiles. "After all, how did you find me here? You've never found your way alone before."
"Ah, you know, I had some help."
Tilim-tilim
"Tink!" Celebrates, he had last seen the little bird a few months ago, Allan had asked her to deliver a letter to someone from a neighboring tribe, and she hadn't arrived until now.
"So...what throne is that?" He asked to change the subject they were on, Will didn't want to hurt Merlin with unwanted memories.
He laughed.
"Ah, the forest always makes me feel, it had been so long since I came here that everything was dry again, I was planning to spend my last night here."
Will sigh.
"Yeah, Chief Allan told me about your plans."
Merlin sighs, his restless hands caressing the little canary's red feathers.
"Yes, I will leave tomorrow."
"And where will you go? Who will you stay with?"
"I'll go to Camelot, Allan said he has a friend there, I believe he's already dead, but if not, I'll stay with him."
"And how will you get to Camelot? Or rather, how do you expect to live in Camelot?"
"I know what worries you, but I'll be fine, I know how to be discreet. Besides, why would anyone look me? It's not like I'll stand out that much in such a big kingdom, I'm sure I won't even be noticed upon arrival." Merlin scoffed, but Will rolled his eyes.
"Merlin, you couldn't be discreet if you were the greatest spy in the world!"
"Hey! Of course, I could! A prince is always good at what he does, I'd make a great spy!"
This makes the other boy laugh.
"Not even if you were invisible, my friend"
"I totally know how to be discreet." Will looked at him, looked at the forest, and then looked at Merlin again.
"You're literally sitting on a goddamn throne of roots, surrounded by obviously magical clouds, with butterflies flying and birds singing in the middle of the night, all while wearing a white dress and a river coming out of the place to touch your feet."
Merlin looks around and turns his face away with his ears turning pink, his friend was right, but he wasn't just going to agree, he had a reputation for always having the last word, and he wasn't going to lose that now!
"It's not a dress, it's a nightgown"
Will throws his arms up.
"That's not the point! The point is that you're simply impossible not to notice."
"Why would they notice me!? I'm literally just like everyone else, apart from my hair which is now cut, I look like someone of average appearance!
At the end of his sentence, Will looks at him with disgust.
"Gods, I'm glad you're beautiful because I've already realized that smart is definitely not your greatest asset."
"Hey!" and so the fight begins, Merlin leaves his throne and knocks Will into the mud, they roll around and get dirty, play and have fun as if that were the last time they would see each other, and maybe it was.
At the end of the night, they were both returning to their tribe when Will brought up the subject of his departure again.
"Well, that's it," he begins, they are both just a few steps away from the secret entrance of the small druid community.
"That's it. I'll leave today."
"Yes." Will turns to his friend. "I – I, have a gift for you." He pulls a purple handkerchief from his tunic pocket.
"What is that?" Your friend smiles shyly and shrugs awkwardly.
"I thought you would like it to put around your neck, but after I saw the locks of hair at your house, I knew you would prefer to cover what was left." He stops behind Merlin and wraps the scarf around his unruly curls before tying a knot at the back. "Ready."
Merlin runs his hand over the fabric and frowns.
"Are you sure, Will? That's silk and purple, both of those things are very expensive."
Will shrugs and continues walking.
"I saw it during my trip to the kingdom of Tir-Mor, it was the last one for sale and I didn't want to miss the opportunity."
"Wouldn't it be better to give it as a courting gift? I mean, I know girls who would give their lives for one of those."
Will laughs, Merlin doesn't know what he's laughing at and shares a look with Tink, incredibly his friend is shaking her head, she looks genuinely disbelieved.
"It is for these reasons that I say and repeat, I'm glad you're beautiful, Merlin, because you're definitely not the brightest candle of all."
"Hey!"
Will smiles and hugs the younger man, despite his tender age, Merlin was still taller than most men and, even though Will was 18 and not small at all, he only reached his shoulders.
"Have courage, Merlin, things are more difficult outside the tribe and the world is not ready for someone as wonderful as you, promise you will take care of yourself."
"Will -"
"Promise me, please my lord, do this for me as your humble and eternal servant."
Merlin sighs and returns his hug, even little Tink joins them, landing on Will's head.
"I promise to try."
"It is enough."