Back?
James found himself sitting on his bed with Barty, talking. They didn’t open the book, just talked about Regulus.
“Remember when I, with Evan, took your money? Just cause you were willing to pay us for bringing Reg to those meetings with Sirius? And you paid Ev and I” Barty said.
“Yea, I would spend 14 galleons on it a week, just to get you to bring Reggie and when Reggie found out he was pissed at you. I have enough money to spend 14 galleons a week on you” James looked at Barty, not realising he was crying. James still had tears falling down his cheeks.
“Yea, was fun to watch them suffer” Barty said, his eyes looking back at the book “can we read some more? Get it over with”
James nodded and Barty got the book out and handed it to James who took it and opened it, this time reading the poem out loud.
“In the shadows of your laughter, I tread,
A spectre of doubt in a house of light,
With each step, your warmth fills me with dread,
Fearing love's embrace might not be my right.” James’ voice started shaking so Barty took over.
“Walls whisper tales of a life so bright,
Where joy and comfort are meant to reside,
Yet I feel like a ghost in the night,
Hiding the secrets I dare not confide.
Your kindness, a mirror reflecting my flaws,
Magnifies fears I can’t leave behind,
In your arms, I feel all the applause,
But deep in my heart, I'm confined.
Every touch, a promise I might betray,
A truth I fear your heart will soon see,
That perhaps I'm not meant to stay,
And this love was never meant for me.
In silent rooms, I ponder my flight,
To vanish before dawn's hopeful hue,
Yet your love binds me, soft and tight,
And leaving seems a betrayal too.
So here I stand, in the quiet dusk,
A prisoner of love, hope, and despair,
Torn between the shadows and trust,
Wondering if leaving is the fairest fare.”
James was crying now, realising how much pain Regulus was in while they were moving in together. As Barty stopped reading he pulled James in for a hug, Barty had never been a touchy person but James was and it’s clearly what James needs in that moment. James looked at Barty for a second before hugging him back and not letting go. That's until a knock was heard on the front door and Barty pulled away from James who collapsed onto the bed, still crying.
“I'm gonna go get it, alright Potter?” James just nodded.
A few moments later Barty entered the room with someone else. James looked up to see Evan Rosier there.
James didn't react, just waited for Barty to cuddle him but that never happened. Barty was there, so was Evan, but he didn't reach out and comfort James. Barty was looking at Evan, hugging him while Evan cried over their dead best friend and James was left alone on the bed, crying and crying and when he thought he didn't have any tears left he cried some more.
After way too long of just waiting for Barty to comfort him, James got up and left the bedroom. He ended up on the balcony, the sun had gone down like James’ sun when Regulus didn’t come back. James was looking at the night sky like he had so many times before. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder, just like when Regulus gets home late and James sits there waiting for his Reg, James leaned into the touch, thinking it was Regulus.
“Alright?” Bartys voice said, not Regulus’, James, thinking he just heard Bartys voice instead of Regulus’ closed his eyes.
“Alright” James breathed before kissing the hand on his shoulder.