The Beginning
Technoblade has lived a long life, some might even say, too long of a life. But even through those hundreds of years of living, he’s never had something like this happen before.
He just wanted to live his retirement away from everybody but Phil. No L’Manburg, no Pogtopia, no Manburg, no government at all. He just wanted to live peacefully in the tundra. Nope. Life wouldn’t even let him have that.
Waking up in a cupboard was not on his list of things he expected life to take him.
Taking a mental stock of himself, he almost wanted to cry out in outrage, despair and shock.
He was a baby. The Great Blood (Demi) God, Technoblade was a baby.
Oh how the mighty have fallen.
He realized with relief that he still at least had his hooves. Small blessings.
The next few years were a blur. When one is immortal, time kind of just, stops registering.
Technoblade has learned a few important things. First, his new ‘aunt’ and ‘uncle’ were awful, they treated him like dirt under their shoes, like he was a traitor in war, like he was the worst thing to ever happen.
It was exhausting.
Secondly, his body’s name was Harry Potter. Yea, no. Not happening. Technoblade is never letting himself be called Harry if he can help it.
Thirdly, while his hooves seemed to have been a blessing in the beginning, it turned out to be a curse. The ‘family’ he lives with absolutely hates anything abnormal. Weird. Peculiar. You name it, they probably hate it. And so, his hooves only made them hate him even more.
Luckily he still has chat, even better, they’re faint and he has to purposely reach out to them to hear them.
Trying to not fight back is becoming exceedingly difficult, so he just throws himself into training instead.
Despite the malnourishment he is experiencing, this body is surprisingly easy to train up. Almost like it was meant to hold the muscle memories for fighting.
So, he spent his days training, doing chores and, when he could, sometimes studying.
Eventually all the abuse came to a point, when his body turned nine. Vernon, this body’s ‘uncle’, was yelling at him for something Dudley, this body’s cousin, did. The yelling slowly became more and more violent and Technoblade started to wonder if his face would explode from how purple it was turning.
It just kept getting worse, Vernon was only getting louder, to the point where even Petunia, this body’s aunt, was getting a little concerned. Then, he started going on about how they ‘never should have taken him in’ and ‘the reward was not worth the process’.
It was at this point Technoblade was starting to get pissed. And what the hell was he saying about rewards?
Suddenly, Vernon lifts his hand, about to strike Techno, and out of pure reflex, Techno grabs his hand, throwing the man over his shoulder.
Oops.
So, anyway, he got kicked out.
Something Techno had noticed pretty early on was the power lurking underneath his skin, a magic similar, yet diluted, to what he had as a demigod. So, obviously, he messed around with it for a good while.
He had always kind of thought he was going to get kicked out someday, if he didn’t run away himself, that is. Therefore, he had a backup plan.
Can you see where this is going?
Techno had come to find out that the power he had wasn’t completely abnormal, there was a whole secret world filled with people like that.
Obviously, that’s where he went when he got kicked out.
While this wasn’t the first time he had visited Diagon Alley, he was a curious guy alright, this was the first time he would be meeting the Goblins. He had studied a bit of their culture in his free time, so he can only hope he doesn’t royally mess this opportunity up.
He quickly found out that the Goblins were fascinating creatures, with an even more fascinating culture. Apparently, showing even a small ounce of respect can get you places, especially if you’re human.
They ended up recommending a farm house that seemed perfect for his needs, with a large field in the back and a small one bedroom house.
It was perfect.
And so, for the next five years, he farmed. He would eat, farm, eat, train, study, eat, then sleep. Going out to buy something every so often.
Over that time frame his hair, which he had been growing out for years beforehand, started turning pink, the same pink it used to be.
His wardrobe now consists almost exactly of the same clothes he had in his last life. Poets shirts, baggy pants he could fold up or wrap around the top of his hooves, and capes.
So, considering the circumstances, Technoblade thought things were going pretty good.
That was until the summoning.