unaware of just how hard i'll fall
“No offense Prongs, but you’re really quite pathetic,” Sirius groaned.
James jumped slightly at the sudden presence of his friends as they arrived at the great hall. He gave Sirius a questioning look.
“Why’re you drooling over Evans? She has an alpha now! You acting like this only makes you seem pathetic and desperate,” Sirius said, and then in a much softer tone he said, “She clearly doesn’t like you back. Why else would she date someone else?”
James felt his heart drop. “B-But… she’s the love of my life! How can I just let her go simply because she’s dating someone now?! Surely she’ll break up with that alpha and eventually realize her feelings for me, and then we can be happy forever!”
Sirius gave James an incredulous look and seemed ready to keep arguing before Remus cut him off. “Drop it Sirius, clearly he won’t listen to any of us.”
The other marauders had always tolerated James’ infatuation with the red-haired omega; Sirius especially used to be very supportive of his friend and rooted for them to get together. But as the years passed by and Lily continued ignoring James, they slowly grew more exasperated and wished that James would just get over it. Sirius often argued with James, hating to see his best friend mope over an omega who didn’t love him back. But alas, James just wouldn’t get over her.
Not even now that Lily had started dating another alpha. If anything, that only made James even more determined. He’d started coming up with more ways to impress Lily and get her to break up with her new alpha.
“C’mon Pads, help me think of more ways to impress Lily,” James said another day, alone with Sirius at the library. He focused on scribbling down ideas on a piece of parchment, but when Sirius didn’t reply after a few seconds, James looked up curiously only to find the other alpha staring off into space, an unreadable look in his eyes.
“Sirius?”
Sirius finally snapped out of it and feigned annoyance. “You’ve already thought of a bunch of different ways – even though she’s taken, might I remind you!”
James ignored his comments and instead asked, “Is something wrong? It seems like something’s on your mind.”
Sirius pursed his lips, that same unreadable expression coming back onto his face. “It’s nothing… It’s just…”
“Just?” James prompted.
“…M-My brother…”
James immediately dropped his quill and sat up straighter. The atmosphere grew tense, and James knew that whatever Sirius was about to say was most likely serious.
“I’ve been thinking– he could go through his first heat at any moment now.”
James frowned, realizing Sirius was right. Most people go through their first mating cycle at around the ages of 15–16, and that’s when they officially “present”. He, Sirius, and everyone else in their year have already presented, though most of them still had trouble with their quite new instincts and feelings. Regulus, being younger than them, was now at that age where he could present at any moment. James should’ve realized sooner that this was most likely affecting Sirius.
The Black brothers had… a bit of a complicated relationship. When they were much younger, they were closer and had a good friendship. But as they grew older, they grew a bit distant for many reasons, and those reasons were all complex. Despite this, Sirius still loved and cared about his little brother, and would always look out for him even if it was at a distance. So of course he was now worried about Regulus’ impending presentation.
Sirius sighed. “I just wish he would come to me… I can tell he’s frightened, even through that facade of his. He’s always been nervous of presenting, seeing as he’s an omega, so I can’t imagine what’s going through his head right now. And I’m also nervous for him… mother and father have great disdain for omegas, which is one of many reasons why they treat Reg so terribly. It’s only gonna get worse once he goes through his first heat and his scent and instincts finally develop.” Sirius’ face grew more anxious and his scent had undertones of fear.
James knew how horrible Sirius’ parents were so he asked hesitantly, “…What do you think they’ll do after he presents?”
That might’ve been the wrong question to ask as Sirius’ expression turned to one of panic and a loud growl escaped his throat. “Those disgraceful excuses of ‘parents’ – Fuck! I’ve heard some of their conversations in the past and just like most other pureblood families, they have such a disgusting and archaic way of thinking,” Sirius turned to James frantically as unwanted memories seemed to seep into his mind. “James – I can’t let my little brother go back home to spend his first heat! Those monsters will have him in their clutches and do unspeakable things!”
James’ face paled, and even though Sirius didn’t say anything outright, James was unfortunately all too aware of what many pureblood families did to omegas during their first heats.
Some families neglected them completely, locking them away in a room and not bothering to feed them or get them necessary things. This was one form of abuse that caused the already overwhelmed omegas to feel completely rejected and abandoned, and without food or other essential materials like nesting materials, they grew physically and mentally weak. There was also a risk of the omega dropping, which was a very severe thing.
Yet, somehow worse than this, there was another form of abuse that some families made their omegas go through. It was such a cruel and vile thing to do. Force alphas onto the vulnerable omega. The families would get random alphas, often much older, and unleash them onto the omega. Sometimes it was relatives who partake in these disgusting acts. And the poor omega, completely vulnerable and overwhelmed, had no other choice but to suffer through it. The consequences were always the worst once the omega’s heat was over and their head was clearer, full of traumatized thoughts and emotions.
Whichever form of abuse Sirius’ parents would choose, Regulus was in danger either way.
“Sirius, don’t freak out just yet! There’s still another option! – Hogwarts has some heat-rooms designed for omegas to spend their heats in, remember? Regulus could just go to one of those instead of going back home.”
Some of the panic on Sirius’ face went away, but he looked doubtful. “But those heat-rooms are for omegas after they go through their first heat. Everybody seems to think that an omega’s first heat must be spent at their home, since it’s the first one and their family has to make sure they’re okay. Do you really think they’d let Reggie spend his first one here?”
“Maybe if we explain the situation to a professor…?”
Sirius still looked doubtful but nodded anyway. “It’s worth a try. I swear I’ll try doing anything to make sure Reggie isn’t sent back home.”
“Don’t worry Pads, I’m sure this will be an option. I’ll help you. I also won’t let Regulus go back to your old house,” James said sincerely and smiled at his friend. Sirius returned the smile, though it was shaky.
“Thanks Prongs, I don’t know what I’d do without you. I’m glad to know that my little brother is safe with you as well.”
James felt a strange tug at his heart. But he ignored it as they finally moved away from that serious topic.
***
For the next few days, they made their plan to go tell McGonagall of the situation. If that didn’t work out, they were already thinking of hiding Regulus away at the shrieking shack and making sure he was safe over there.
When the two alphas first told Remus and Peter, Remus had grown horrified at what could happen to Regulus and instantly started helping them. As a fellow omega, Remus could better sympathize with Regulus than the others could.
At one of their study sessions, Sirius pointed that out, though he did it a bit distastefully. “Moony, you’re an omega!–”
“I’m so glad you noticed,” Remus said dryly.
“–Is there anything omegas specifically need for their first heat, other than food and water?”
Instantly, Remus’ face flushed red. He cleared his throat, not looking at Sirius or anyone else in the eye. “Nesting materials, of course.”
“Of course,” Sirius repeated, “But other than that?”
“…Padfoot, you don’t have to worry about Regulus. The heat-rooms at Hogwarts provide omegas with everything they need.”
“I know,” Sirius sighed, “But I’ve never been around an omega in heat before, so I have no clue how it works. I just wanted to be as helpful as possible for Reggie.” He then paused and chuckled, seemingly remembering something else. He added as an afterthought, “Even though I haven’t been around an omega in heat, I sure got close to it a few times. Prongs, do you remember that one fling I had over the summer?”
James grinned. “The omega from France?”
Sirius barked out a laugh. “That one! She sure was a brave one! We’d barely gone out a few times and she was already asking me to spend her next heat with her.”
“I used to think all omegas were shy, but that fling of yours proved to me otherwise,” James chuckled, scratching the back of his head.
Remus’ previously red face instantly paled. His scent slightly soured and he said scathingly, “You know, you two are sounding just like the typical knothead alpha.”
James and Sirius both stopped grinning, instantly feeling bad. They prided themselves in not being such terrible alphas, unlike many others.
“Sorry Moony, that was shitty of us to joke about,” James apologized. Sirius nodded and opened his mouth, but what came next was actually worse. Though he meant well, Sirius sometimes had a tendency to say stupid shit without realizing it.
“I just want to let you know, I would never take advantage of an omega like that. Even though that omega girl kept insisting – and was quite enticing, I must admit – I knew that spending an omega’s heat with them is a big fucking deal! So I rejected her. I couldn’t lead her on like that either, it was just a fling for the summer. If I ever spend an omega’s heat with them, it’s because I actually love them and care about them. But until I find the right omega, I’ll just keep fucking around like I usually do, y’know, outside any heats or ruts,” Sirius grinned.
James quickly elbowed him, realizing Sirius was sounding like a douche again. Sirius simply gave him a questioning look.
Across from them, Remus’ scent quickly turned even more sour and a look of hurt flashed on his face before he quickly hid it. “Well then, good to know you’re not entirely a knothead alpha. Just mostly,” his voice was dripping in sarcasm as he got up and gathered his things.
“Wha– Moony, where are you going?!” Sirius continued being painfully oblivious.
“None of your business. Why don’t you just focus on finding the ‘right omega’? The sooner you find them, the sooner you’ll stop being such a player.” And then he turned on his heel, walking briskly out of the library and only leaving behind his scent which smelled upset and hurt. James frowned.
“Wow, he’s scary when he’s mad,” Peter blurted out after a few seconds of tense silence.
James sighed, running a hand through his messy hair. “Padfoot, that was quite stupid of you to say…”
Sirius was still frozen, looking at the direction where Remus had walked away. He looked confused but at the same time, he also seemed regretful and… hurt? Why would he be hurt though?
“I need a book for this assignment. I’ll be right back,” James eventually said.
Peter’s eyes widened and he whispered loudly, “Prongs, don’t leave me alone with him!”
James only chuckled, glanced at the still frozen Sirius, and walked away in search of his book. As he got closer to the aisle he needed to be at, he heard what sounded like someone struggling to get something. He paused, peeked into a different aisle, and immediately smiled in amusement.
There was an omega (still unpresented), clearly struggling to get a book from one of the higher shelves. While this omega seemed taller than most other omegas, all omegas were still shorter than alphas. That was simply how biology worked. James and Sirius in particular, were one of the tallest alphas at Hogwarts, which helped make them all the more appealing.
The omega had his back towards James, so James couldn’t see anything but his fluffy, slightly wavy black hair that seemed familiar. James watched for only a few more seconds before his instincts urged him to go help an omega in need. He was still smiling in amusement as he stood behind the omega, reached over him and easily retrieved the book. Beneath him, the omega let out a surprised little noise and– fuck, why did that sound so adorable?!
“Hey there, I noticed you needed some help,” James said conversationally, but he froze when the omega turned around. It was Regulus.
Regulus peered up at him, a few locks of dark hair slightly obscuring his eyes. But James could still see his gray eyes and… wow. They almost seemed silver, like two big diamonds staring up at him. James’ breath hitched as he realized this is the closest he’s ever been near Regulus. Though he was his best friend’s brother, they tended to keep their distance, especially when around their own friends. It didn’t help that Regulus was a Slytherin in a year below them.
This close, James was able to see every little detail of the boy’s face. As previously stated, his eyes looked like silver, shining in a dazzling way beneath strands of fluffy hair. Said hair looked so fluffy and soft that James was almost tempted to touch it. His pale face was thin and delicate. Overall, James, being an alpha, couldn’t help but appreciate just how pretty Regulus was.
He didn’t realize he was staring until the younger boy suddenly looked down. James flushed slightly.
“U-Uh… here. You were trying to get this, weren’t you?” James held out the book. Regulus stared at it for a bit until finally grabbing it. But he continued to look down, his head bowed, not meeting James’ eyes.
“…We were just talking about you actually!” James blurted out but immediately regretted it. Fuck, that was so stupid to say! And creepy! – Oh no, he’ll think I’m a creep.
Regulus glanced up at him, seeming a bit surprised, before quickly looking back down. “…You were?”
Well, James started this so he might as well continue, trying to make it less awkward. “Well, I mean– Uh, it’s just that Sirius has been pretty worried about you lately.”
At this, Regulus seemed much more surprised and couldn’t quite hide it. “Sirius is… worried? Why?” he asked slowly, sounding a bit in disbelief.
James stared at him in confusion. He was aware the brothers didn’t have the best relationship but didn’t Regulus know that Sirius cared a lot about him?
“Isn’t your, uh, heat coming soon?”
Regulus was usually very good at keeping a neutral expression, hiding away his emotions, but at these words he blushed. James’ eyes widened at the sight. He’s never seen Regulus Black blush.
The omega gripped the book tighter as he said, still looking away, “Sirius never knows when to keep his mouth shut, huh? He had no reason to tell his friends… that.”
James kind of understood where he was coming from, but he also understood why Sirius shared the information that’s been troubling him recently. “He’s just worried,” he repeated. “Your family isn’t exactly the best, and he really cares about you, you know?”
Regulus stayed silent but James hoped those words sunk in. Finally, Regulus muttered out, “Thank you for getting the book,” and hurried away. James looked after his retreating figure and for some reason, felt slightly dejected.
***
“Prongs, look – Lily’s over there, and her new alpha isn’t with her!”
“Huh?” James had been lost in thought and hadn’t even noticed Lily sitting on one of the benches nearby with her friends until Peter pointed it out.
Remus raised his eyebrows at him but didn’t say anything while Sirius looked at James as if he’d gone crazy. “Evans is literally right there, finally without her new alpha, and you’re not instantly jumping at the chance?! Are you alright Prongs?”
James fully shook himself out of his daze and realized yes, Lily was alone with just her friends. This was literally what he’s been waiting for this whole time, a chance to flirt and impress the omega without her alpha boyfriend being there to challenge him.
He blinked twice before his signature smirk plastered onto his face, his hand running through his hair. Exuding all of his typical confidence, he strode over to the gaggle of Gryffindor omegas.
“Lily, you’re looking stunning as always!”
Lily glared at him, her bright green eyes piercing into him which only further captivated him. They were like emeralds. “Potter, I’m with someone already! I thought you’d stop pestering me once I started dating someone.”
James’ eyebrows raised and he chuckled. “Don’t tell me you’re with that dumb alpha just to try to keep me away? My sweet Lily, shouldn’t you know by now I will never stop chasing after you? You’re like the sun, bright and beautiful, and I’m just a mere planet, orbiting you because your existence is my lifesource.”
His words were cheesy but it did just the trick as some of the other omegas blushed or swooned. However, it didn’t do the trick for Lily whose glare turned angrier.
“‘Dumb alpha’?! How dare you Potter?! My boyfriend is not a dumb alpha, if anything, you are!” Lily abruptly stood up and stormed away. Her closest friends glared at James and followed after her while a few other omegas stayed behind, obviously gawking at James.
James sighed, running a hand through his hair. The omegas squealed shamelessly and he smiled at them to humor them, but his mind was thinking of beautiful, green eyes.
He went back to his friends sulkily. Sirius patted his shoulder sympathetically before quickly glancing at the leftover omegas and grinning. “Well, seeing as Prongs had no luck with his omega, I’ll just make my way over to those other omegas. They’re all very pretty, and who doesn’t like the attention?” And then Sirius was gone, exuding the same confidence James had a few minutes before.
Immediately, Remus’ shoulders sagged and his eyes were full of what seemed to be sadness.
“You okay, Moony?” James asked, frowning at his friend’s behavior. He’s never really seen Remus like this before.
Remus quickly disguised his emotions and instead tried smiling, though James could still tell that smile wasn’t genuine. “Of course I am. I should be asking you that instead, what with Lily rejecting you… again.”
“I’m used to it,” James shrugged. He wouldn’t let this deter his determination – it never has.
Remus seemed to want to say something but hesitated for a long while until finally spitting it out. “I just don’t understand why Sirius is acting this way? I thought he’d – for once in his life – stop acting so promiscuous and instead focus on something more important, that being his brother. He was so concerned a few days ago, so why start his silly actions again?! Will he ever stop?!”
James noticed there was more to this than Remus was letting on, but he couldn’t quite decipher it. So, he just focused on what he just said.
“Hate to break it to you Moony, but that’s just Sirius Black for you. It’s like… you without chocolate would be absurd! So like, Padfoot without a bunch of omegas clinging onto him would also be absurd!” James thought that made sense but Remus was just looking at him incredulously. “…Wormtail, I’m sure you get it, don’t you?” he turned to Peter who nodded immediately.
“Yup, Padfoot is Hogwarts’ resident playboy, so it’d be weird for him to suddenly stop. Besides, maybe he was just overreacting with that whole thing about his brother? Maybe it’s not that serious after all?”
At this, James’ good-natured smile wiped off his face and was replaced by a grim look. “No. He wasn’t overreacting,” he said curtly. Although Remus and Peter tried to understand, sometimes they just didn’t know how pureblood families worked in the wizarding world. James, unfortunately, knew how serious this was. A spark of protectiveness ignited in his chest, and he didn’t even know he’d started growling until Remus pointed it out.
“Prongs? Hey, calm down! There’s no need for you to growl!”
James instantly froze, surprised at himself for doing that. Even though he was an alpha, he’d never really been that aggressive before. He certainly doesn’t growl that easily. He glanced at Remus and Peter who were both looking confused. He felt just as confused as they did.
***
“So you think this will convince Minnie to let Reggie spend his heat in a heat-room?” Sirius asked for what felt like the millionth time, staring at the speech they’d prepared.
Remus’ jaw clenched, his patience clearly running thin. “Yes. Oh honestly Padfoot, do you really think Professor McGonagall would be that heartless?! Once she hears what the situation is like, I’m sure she’ll already have a room ready.”
Sirius snapped his mouth closed and nodded.
Remus was clearly in a poor mood since he abruptly stood up and gathered his things into his bag. As he walked away, he muttered, “I’m only doing this for Regulus, not for you.”
“Um… why is he so mad at Padfoot?” Peter asked once the sole omega was gone.
“That’s what I’d like to know,” Sirius whined. He looked just like a kicked puppy. “The full moon isn’t near yet, so why is he so moody? Moody Moony usually only ever happens near the full moon.” Sirius then gasped, his mouth forming an “o” shape. He looked at the other two cautiously and asked, “You don’t think… his heat is approaching…?”
“No, I don’t think so… wasn’t the last one recent?” James said. Omegas’ heats usually come every three months, or four times a year. In contrast, alphas’ ruts only came twice a year. And with an approaching heat, omegas tended to get moodier and hormonal right before it hit.
Surprisingly, Sirius suddenly glared at James. “How do you even know Moony’s heat cycle?!”
“What? I don’t! You literally just asked if we thought his heat was coming and I literally just gave you my best guess!” James spluttered.
Sirius didn’t look like he believed the other alpha and gave him a threatening look. James’ inner alpha bristled but his logical side was actually quite confused as to why Sirius was acting this way.
“I’m so glad I’m a beta,” Peter mumbled as he shoved a snack into his mouth.
James gritted his teeth, trying to change the topic. “Anyways, we’re going to McGonagall’s office this weekend right?”
“…Yeah,” Sirius said, worry overtaking his features once more.
“It’ll be alright, Padfoot. Don’t worry,” James said.
“Yeah, and isn’t there still time until Regulus’ first heat? I doubt it’d come like tomorrow,” Peter chuckled.
“Wormy’s right, even if we need some time convincing Minnie, Regulus probably won’t have his first heat until a few weeks later. We’ve got plenty of time,” James said, feeling a fluttering feeling in his stomach at the mention of Regulus’ heat. Huh… maybe it was just a coincidence?
“Why haven’t you talked to him yet though?” Peter suddenly asked.
Admittedly, it was weird that they were planning all of this without even speaking to the omega in question. Ever since the brief encounter at the library (which James definitely didn’t tell the others about), James has barely seen Regulus at all. The only times were at meal times, across the great hall. And honestly… James has caught himself staring more than a few times. He didn’t know why though.
Sirius sighed dramatically. “It’s hard! I-I don’t really know how to approach him, let alone what to say. I want him to know that I’m worried and that I care but… I just don’t know how. And I also don’t want to scare him either.”
James suddenly remembered his conversation with Regulus. “I think you should talk to him. I get the feeling he might not know just how much you care about him.”
Sirius froze, stunned. “You think so? But I’m his brother! Of course I care about him!”
“Haven’t you said it yourself in the past though? Regulus sometimes has trouble accepting that people care.”
“Shit, you’re right! I mean, he’s Reggie! Of course he might get the wrong idea!” Sirius buried his face into his hands and groaned. “Okay, I’m a Gryffindor aren’t I? Where’s my Gryffindor courage when I need it? I’ll talk to him… but I just need some time to think of what I’ll say.”
“That’s the spirit! Don’t worry, like I said, we have plenty of time,” James said. He then glanced at his watch. “I gotta go now guys, I want to get some extra practice for Quidditch.”
He made his way through the castle but as he turned the corner of one long corridor, a smell suddenly crashed into him like a tsunami.
James froze, breath caught in his throat. The scent was one he’d never smelled before. But Merlin, did it smell utterly divine.
James breathed it in again and for a moment, he felt his inner alpha take control. James reeled back, shocked at this reaction. It took him a few more seconds to realize this was the smell of an omega in heat. No wonder he was reacting so strongly. The scent was incredibly sweet and potent. It was addictive. James never wanted to stop smelling it.
Like a moth to the flame, James quickly followed the scent. It led to a hidden alcove, and the sight he was met with was one he never expected.
Regulus was slumped over, sweating profusely and clutching his stomach. His face was twisted up in pain and he panted quietly.
James stood there, completely frozen, eyes wide and mouth gaping. The alluring scent was coming from him.
Regulus suddenly snapped his head upwards, and the second they met eyes, the omega started whining. “A-Alpha… Please– alpha!”
James’ vision blurred as his inner alpha fought to take control. He felt his fangs itching to come out and bite, claim, take what’s mine. The rational James was slowly losing control.
He slapped a hand onto his nose and vigorously shook himself out of it. The smell was still too strong, too sweet, too enticing, but he needed to restrain himself. He would never take advantage of Regulus. He’d rather die than hurt Regulus like this.
He also wouldn’t let anyone else take advantage of him. So, as hard as it would be for him, he needed to get Regulus out of there and into a heat-room, where he’d be safe.
James vaguely realized how ironic it was, that he and his friends had just been reassuring themselves that Regulus’ heat wouldn’t come yet. But here he was, standing in front of Regulus in heat.
He also realized that this was actually an excellent thing. See, most omegas go through pre-heat, and it is during this time when they are sent back home, right before their first heat truly hits. It is less dangerous for an omega to be in public while in pre-heat. But the moment their actual heat comes, is when they must be somewhere private and safe.
On rare occasions though, an omega might not go through pre-heat and instead enter their heat right away. Usually this was more dangerous, but in Regulus’ case this was actually helpful. That meant, he had a good excuse to spend his first heat here at Hogwarts instead of at his home. It would be too risky to send him home while in full-blown heat, so he’d just stay here.
With great determination, James approached the omega. “R-Regulus–”
“Alpha…” Regulus breathed out, eyes wide and dilated. James gulped, feeling his own eyes flash red momentarily. Fuck, this was harder than he thought.
Without another word, James scooped up the small omega and carried him bridal-style, hurriedly walking towards the nearest staircase.
Regulus instantly purred, nuzzling his face into James’ neck and releasing more of that sweet scent.
James blinked away the alpha-red eyes threatening to resurface. He felt his resolve quickly slipping away, but he had to keep going. He had to get Regulus into a heat-room.
After what felt like an eternity of torture – having to silently suffer by not touching, not biting, not knotting such a gorgeous and perfect omega – James somehow, finally arrived at the hospital wing. It was truly a miracle how he survived this long.
Pomfrey immediately let out a loud gasp and rushed towards the two teenagers. “How did this happen?!”
James gritted his teeth, not daring to open his mouth. He honestly didn’t trust himself not to bite at this point – and he’d come so far, it’d be a shame to see all his efforts wasted.
Pomfrey grew more alarmed as she realized James’ internal struggles. She hastily led them to a heat-room, where James had to finally let go of the omega. It utterly pained the alpha to do this, but he had to.
“A-Alpha?” Regulus’ eyes widened as he saw James walking away. “No– Alpha! Come back!” he let out a shrill whimper.
It felt like a stab to his heart. James staggered backwards and couldn’t help but glance back. The sight crushed him; Regulus looked so hurt and abandoned, and without thinking, James rushed back to the omega.
But before he could reach him, James suddenly felt a sting in his shoulder before everything faded to black.