“Please?” she asks, “Just once? Just the first one?”
“Well…” Doctor Stephen Strange, the Sorcerer Supreme, looks from Wanda to Vision. “Can’t you just watch it with Vision? I mean… he is your boyfriend.”
Wanda huffs, “He’s not a sorcerer. Plus, he’s probably already watched the movie!”
“It is true Doctor Strange,” says Vision in his slightly accented voice, “I have technically watched all the movies available on the internet.” He points to his forehead but the stone is currently concealed and he doesn’t look like an android.
See?” says Wanda, “Come on, it’ll be fun! We can have some sorcerer and sorceress bonding time! Vision will stay and watch with us too!”
Alright…” Doctor Strange reluctantly agrees, “But can I invite Wong?”
“Of course!” grins Wanda, “The more the merrier!”
“Well, well, well,” says another voice by the door, “Having magic bonding time without me?”
“Loki,” snarls Vision, but he doesn’t really snarl because he is too cultured for that, “What do you want?”
“Well, a little birdie told me we were having a magic get-together! I thought I’d stop by and join you. You did say the more the merrier.”
Wanda makes a face, like she is deep in thought, “Well alright,” she finally says, “It’d be fair not to include you, especially since all three of us are powerful sorcerers.”
“That's true,” responds Loki, “But I’d say I’m the strongest here.”
Wanda shrugs and Doctor Strange points to the Eye of Agamotto that currently houses the Time Stone. Catching his gesture, Vision points once more to the hidden Mind Stone in his forehead. Loki grins and makes a circular gesture with his index finger. A glowing blue cube that looks suspiciously like the Tesseract appears and then disappears as he swipes it away. Wanda simply smiles, “Well, see you tomorrow at 6:30 sharp!”
And that is how the Scarlet Witch, Vision, Doctor Strange, and Loki ended up sitting on the same couch. Wong unfortunately had to watch over the Sanctum while the Supreme Sorcerer was away and could not join them. They had ended up binge-watching all the Harry Potter films in one sitting. 19 hours and 39 minutes in all.
“That was…” says Loki, wrinkling his nose, “Interesting. I’m still confused as to why they require sticks and such loud yelling. They are basically giving away their next move by yelling out their spells. And those sticks… they are much too unreliable. A weapon with its own heart? Tsk tsk.”
“The wands are their mediums,” responds Doctor Strange, “It is interesting that they choose wood though. I am pretty sure wood tends to snap pretty easily. As for weapons with hearts… I’d say that is a good thing. I mean, look at my cape!” The corner of his red cape bobbed up and down in agreement.
“Is your cape… nodding at me?” asks Loki.
“Yep,” says Wanda, “I agree. Stephen's cape is very nice.”
“I mean no offense to the cape,” says Loki as Strange mutters a non-take, “But I’m just saying, what if it betrays you?”
“Then you are probably a bad guy,” says Vision pointedly, “Oh wait, you are.”
Loki clutches his heart as if it was broken, “Not you too Vision! Don’t you know I’m a changed god? I’m literally a Ravenclaw! Not even a Slytherin.”
Vision shrugs and Wanda giggles. Loki then turns suspiciously towards his brother, “Thor, what house are you in.”
“Well, I don’t know how you ended up being Ravenclaw. I always thought you were evil,” he says, “But, according to this quiz I took, I am actually Slytherin!”
“Interesting,” says Vision, “I am a Hufflepuff myself. I am pretty sure it is because Hufflepuff takes the rest and… I am not human so I am… the rest.”
“Oh Vision,” says Wanda, “I guess we are separated. I am a Gryffindor.”
“Alright,” Wanda says, “I have an idea.” She turns to Doctor Strange, her eyes looking suspiciously like large puppy eyes.
“No…” says Strange, “I don’t even want to know.”
“But it’ll be fun,” says Wanda, she turns to the other two, “Please. Can you two help me convince Stephen?”
Loki and Vision both glare at Doctor Strange and he shivers, “Fine, fine. Whatever you want.”
“I thought we could… you know, visit Hogsmeade and maybe buy some wands… for our last bonding event!”
“What.”
♦💎💥⚡💥💎♦
After the bonding event ended, the four continued their lives as normal. Except, each one of them had a custom-made wand. Wanda’s was simple enough. She had simply gone to a Disney store and bought the one she liked most. Her favorite Harry Potter character was Hermione but she decided that Sirius Black's wand looked the nicest. It was covered in intricate designs and was long and pointed. She almost took out Visions eye. Vision, despite not being a sorcerer, decided he didn’t want to be left out and bought a Hermione Granger wand (In case Wanda changed her mind).
Loki and Doctor Strange were a bit more picky. Not wanting to be left out, but not wanting a cheaply made toy wand, the two decided to buy their own custom-made out of their own materials. Doctor Strange fashioned his wand out of a single branch from a tree in the Sanctum and a single thread from his cloak on the inside. Loki on the other hand was a bit more… extra about it. He used wood from Yggdrasil and coated it in Asgardian metal.
♦💎💥⚡💥💎♦
“Where’s Wanda?” asks Clint, worried, “I haven’t seen her since she flew off towards that other group of them.”
“She is on the East Side of the building,” says Tony Stark from his suit, “She is currently still engaged in battle.”
“Got it,” says Hawkeye, “I’ll go help.” He runs quickly over and finds Wanda standing over four agents, a stick in her hand. A stick.
“Oh hello Clint,” she says, waving, “I just finished.”
“Right,” says Hawkeye, he walks over to the nearest agent and finds him seemingly paralyzed, his arms stiff by his side and his eyes wide open. “What did you do to him?”
“Petrificus Totalus,” she replies, waving her stick… her wand.
Clint was well-versed in the world of Harry Potter. He had watched the entire show with his kids. “Harry Potter?” he asks incredulously, “That's a movie though.”
“Petrificus Totalus!” shouts Wanda, pointing the wand at an agent who tried to sit up. Clint watches in fascination as a red light shoots out of the wand and hits the man in the chest. His arms and legs snap together and his entire body freezes.
“Okay, you do you.” Clint shrugs, “But do you have a spell to maybe carry them because paralyzed guys are kinda hard to carry.”
“Of course,” she says then ponders for a moment, “Wingardium Leviosa or Levioso?” <p/> “Ummm…” says Clint, “I’m not sure what the differences are.”
She shrugs, “Me neither.‘ she flicks her wand and points at the four paralyzed agents, “Wingardium Leviosa.” They rise in the air and follow them as they walk back to the rest of the group. <p/> When they arrive, Vision eyes the wand and the four floating figures but says nothing. “Is that a wand?” Ironman finally breaks the silence, “Is this like some crazy Harry Potter shit going on?”
“Language,” says Cap, “Come on Tony, you know better.”
“Fuck off,” replies Tony.
Wanda frowns at his language, “No cussing Tony, or I will have to silence you.”
“Oh yeah?” he asks, “Bring it on.” he lets out a string of cuss words (that I refuse to type out).
“Silencio!” she points her wand at him and suddenly his words make no sound.
♦💎💥⚡💥💎♦
Doctor Stephen Strange was to say, he was no stranger to magic. After all, he was the Sorcerer Supreme. But… this Harry Potter magic. Now it was quite interesting. It was a nice and quiet evening when two idiots decided it was a good idea to break into his home. Perhaps they didn’t know about the strange wizard who lived there. But, if they were in New York, they should know… right?
“Hands up!” shouts the burglar, “On the ground you cultist quacks!” Ah… so they were conspiracists who believed Doctor Strange was the leader of some cult.
Doctor Strange stares at them from the top of the steps, looking unimpressed to say the least. “I am Doctor Strange,” he booms, “Sorcerer Supreme. Protector of this planet from the supernatural. Leave this place at once. This is your only chance.”
“Shut up,” says the other burglar. He has a gun. Great. “I’ll shoot you if you try any of your weird shit! Just hand over all your valuables and we’ll spare your life!”
“You seem to think you can beat me,” says Strange, amused.
“Shoot him,” says one. The other points his gun at Strange and presses the trigger. BANG!
The bullet seems to move in slow motion as Doctor Strange stares. Then, he decides to do something interesting. With a flick of his hand and a few golden sparks, his wand appears. He flicks it and twirls it at the incoming bullet and whispers, “Protego.”
As if hitting an invisible shield, the bullet falls to the floor and Doctor Strange is unharmed. “Leave,” he says again, pointing the wand at the two burglars, “Don’t make me use one of the forbidden three spells on you.”
The burglars gasp in fear. Of course, they know Harry Potter. “Shall I use the Imperius curse on you to make you leave? Or will you leave by your own will?” They stare at him fearfully. “Or shall I torture you with the Crutatius curse until you are mad?” They are shaking now. “Or shall I just kill you? Avada Kedavra is such a useful spell.”
The two shriek and run out of the building, leaving their guns behind. Strange swears he can smell a bit of fear and urine but he ignores it. “Incendio!” he points his wand at guns and they burst into flames and burn into nothing.
♦💎💥⚡💥💎♦
“Oh come on,” says Loki, staring at his brother, “It wasn’t me!”
“Oh really?” asks Thor, thunder booms in the distance, “You are telling me that it wasn’t you who destroyed my LIMITED EDITION THOR BOBBLE-HEAD AND REPLACED THE HEAD WITH YOUR HEAD?”
“My head is right here,” Loki points to his head, “Or is it?” he flicks his wand and transfigures it into his brother's head, “Ahhh, such a nice beard. Just like dear old daddy.”
“It was a mistake believing you were changed,” Thor whisper-shouts, “I love you but for the sake of the world, I must destroy you. Sacrifices must be made for the greater good.”
“You really sound like… He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named right now,” jokes Loki but Thor takes him seriously.
“How dare you!” Thor holds out his hand and Stormbreaker flies into it.
“Wait, wait!” says Loki, “Accio bobblehead!” the toy Thor flies into his hand and he taps it with his wand. The Loki head turns back into a Thor head and he tosses it at his brother, “See? No harm, no foul.”
“Oh there is definitely a foul, brother,” snarls Thor, still angry.
Loki sighs and rubs his forehead, “Can’t we talk this out? I’m sorry about the toy! It’s just a teensy-weensy spell. I already changed it back to normal.”
“Toy?” asks Thor, “How dare you call it a toy!” With that, Thor charges at Loki, Stormbreaker humming with lightning.
“Fine, fine,” Loki mutters, “Have it your way.” He points his wand at Thor, “Stupefy!”
A bright light shoots out from his wand and hits Thor in the chest. The god flies backward, stunned. “Is that,” he whispers, “Harry Potter? Loki! You’re a wizard?”
“Uh, yes?” answers Loki, obviously confused.
“I can’t believe it!” says Thor and Loki wonders if he’s drunk again. “Can you teach me?”
Loki blinks, ”Uhhh, sure… I mean… I guess if you want. I mean you probably have magic to cause… you know what, see you tomorrow at 5 AM sharp!”
(Proceeds to beat Thor up with his wand in the morning for the first time in forever. Ah… sibling bonding.)
♦💎💥⚡💥💎♦
“He won’t crack!” says Fury, throwing his hands up in frustration. He and his team of SHIELD agents had been interrogating a group of HYDRA agents for the past few days. They’re tired and cranky, all of them, “It's not that hard! Just give us the location! How is it possible that they can withstand our torture!”
“Because,” Agent Maria Hill points out, “We legally aren’t allowed to torture them. Or at least… we can’t leave any physical evidence of torture.”
“No physical evidence…” murmurs Nick Fury. He’s desperate enough for information to consider torturing his prisoners, “No evidence… Get me, Wanda! And Strange!”
“Strange?” asks Hill, “What do you mean strange?”
“I mean Doctor Stephen Strange,” he says, “Get me those sorcerors! They won’t leave any evidence! Let’s see if they can get some information out of them!”
Maria winces, a throbbing headache approaching, “Fine, I’ll call them.”
They accept the challenge and for some reason, a very pleased-looking Loki comes along. So does Thor cause why not? “Why is he here?” asks a sleep-deprived Nicholas Fury.
“He’s here,” says Loki, “Because it's a mages-day out!”
“What,” asks Maria blankly.
“It means that we, the sorcerors and magicians are hanging out.” explains Wanda, “We are a support group for all magic-wielding people. We don’t discriminate.”
“What about Thor?” asks Fury, “Isn’t he just a buff god/warrior?”
Thor flexes his muscles, “Hey beautiful.”
“Uh, no,” says Vision who came along for fun, “Apparently he can use magic too.”
“Okay,” sighs Fury, he motions them to enter the interrogation room, “Just… don’t kill him.”
“Yessir!” says Thor, still admiring his own muscles. Loki gags but decides not to hex is brother.
“So,” says Wanda, sitting in the chair and propping her elbows onto the table, “Can you tell us where HYDRA’s base is located?”
“Never!” snarls the agent, “Once a Hydra, always a Hydra. I will never betray them!”
“I suppose we’ll have to kill this one then,” suggests Thor, picking boredly at his nails.
“Cut off a head,” says the agent, “and two grow back!”
“Perhaps we could burn the stump,” says Stephen, he flicks his wand and a flame appears, “If you cauterize the wound, well… I’ll spare you the details.” He grins wickedly at the agent who gulps.
“Come on,” says Wanda, “We’ll just torture it out of him.”
“Crutatius?” suggests Vision, “It leaves no physical evidence, except maybe the screaming.”
“What kind of Harry Potter shit is this?” asks the agent.
“Silencio,” says Strange, “The adults are talking.”
“Can’t you use the truth serum?” asks Thor.
“Don’t have ingredients,” answers Vision, “and it takes too long to make.”
“Stupefy?” asks Strange, “We could stun him over and over until he… loses his mind?”
“Maybe,” says Wanda as the agent mouths something. His eyes are wide and fearful, “What was that?” she asks.
Strange flicks his wand and the agent can speak again, “Please don’t kill me,” he whimpers.
“Oh,” shrugs Thor, “Silencio,” and the agent's whimpers fall silent again.
“Why don’t we just Avada Kevadra a few of them,” says Vision, “That ought to get a few of them to talk.”
“Physical evidence,” reminds Wanda.
“We could say they died of fear,” says Strange.
“But that would suggest that SHIELD is doing something horrible to them,” says Wanda.
“They died of sickness?” asks Thor.
“SHIELD is treating its prisoners badly,” says Wanda.
“They died of old age?” says Vision, “It is possible right?”
“Vision!” huffs Wanda, “They are barely forty. The average lifespan of a human is much more than that!”
“Well yes,” he said, “But if we get information, killing them will be more justified right?‘
“Right,” agreed Stephen.
“Fine,” said Wanda, “Go grab the other three.”
“I am on it,” declares Thor. He returns with three other HYDRA agents, “This should be enough.”
“Alright,” says Wanda, she points her wand at them, “Tell us where your base is or I will kill you one at a time until only one is left.”
“Never,” says the three agents, and the silenced one nods along.
“Very well,” says Wanda. She points her wand at them, “Avad Kede-”
“Wait!” Loki says before Wanda can finish the spell. He glares at the four heroes, ”Honestly, I thought I was the evil one.”
“Well what do you suggest,” asks Wanda, “There is nothing else we can do. They simply won’t tell us!”
“If I do it,” he says, “You all owe me five dollars.”
“Bet,” says Stephen, “But if you can’t you owe each of us 10. And we are killing them off one by one.”
“Fine…” sighs Loki. He chooses one and points his wand at the agent's forehead. “Imperio,” he whispers. The others stare at him in shock.
“Why didn’t I think of this,” mutters Vision.
“What is your name,” asks Loki.
“Purple,” answers the agent blankly. The other three stare at him in horror but they are quickly silenced.
“Your real name,” says Loki, “I don’t care much about your codename.”
“Paul,” says the agent, he looks dreamily around.
“Okay Paul,” says Loki, “Are you a HYDRA agent? Tell me a bit about your job.”
“I am PUrple,” says Paul, “I have been a HYDRA agent for twenty-three successful years.”
“Not successful anymore,” snorts Loki, “Alright then. Where is your current base.”
Another silenced agent rears up and towards the cursed one, trying to stop him from revealing important information. “LEVICORPUS!” Vision points his wand at the man and he flies up, dangling by his ankles. “Huh,” he looks curiously at the wand, “I didn’t think that would work.”
Wanda smiles fondly at him. “So,” continues Loki, ignoring the dangling agent, “Where is your base.”
Paul's eyes suddenly clear but Loki points his wand at him again and his eyes go blank, “On-” he chokes, “Ontario.”
“Nice,” Doctor Strange holds up a shaky hand and offers Loki a high five.
The trickster god grins evilly and accepts it. “You owe me five dollars,” says Loki.
“Of course,” answers Wanda, then she frowns, “What are you going to do with the money?”
“I am,” Loki smiles, “I am going to buy a cloak and a pointy hat.”
♦💎💥⚡💥💎♦
“Go,” says Fury from his place in the room outside the interrogation chamber, “Send a team of available Avengers to the suspected Ontario base right now.” Then he turns back to the odd scene in the interrogation room. Two prisoners are squirming in their seats. One is hanging upside down by his ankle and the other is staring blankly at Loki. Loki himself is chatting happily away with Wanda, Vision, Strange, and Thor.
“How,” says Maria, “Is it that Loki is the one that finds the most humanitarian way to get information out of the prisoner? He's supposed to be the bad guy.”
Fury doesn’t reply because he is too busy staring at a stick in his hand. Not a stick, realizes Hill, a wand.