Swimming
After a while, he had to admit that the cane wasn’t as appealing as it first appeared to be. Severus was still in danger of falling over.
And so, because Molly absolutely insisted, Severus wrote down a birthday wish list that included some crutches. Even though getting a pair from St. Mungo’s would have been quicker (and cheaper), Molly had, again, insisted.
Since it was Christmas break, most of the students were gone. So the first day of the new year, Dahlia dragged Severus down to the lake for a swim.
“I haven’t got swim trunks,” Severus had snapped. “And there’s no use of me swimming- I’m too weak. I’ll probably sink, because of my pitiful physical state. Also, I hate to break it to you, but it is freezing outside, and in case you forgot, my joints ache in cold weather.”
He then gestured to himself who, even five feet away from the fire, was wrapped in his favorite blanket. He was on the couch, feeling the best he’d felt in a long time, with nothing bothering him other than the usual shaking of his muscles due to the Cruciatus and minimum pain.
“Cold water will help your muscles recover,” Dahlia said, sweeping her hair up into a ponytail. “I can ask the house elves for swimming trunks, and I promise you that you will not drown. We can have a nice picnic after, too.”
“Yes, but-”
“We already talked about this, remember?” Dahlia prompted. “Remember when you said that you didn’t want to be mauled by the giant squid?”
“Vaguely,” Severus rasped. He remembered all too well, sitting next to her during the picnic- and the depressing conversation that followed.
Severus sighed, stretched out his limbs, and then pushed himself weakly up into a sitting position, his right leg and arm spasming slightly.
“Fine,” he muttered, “but I’m taking this blanket, two towels, and my wand, just in case you drown and I need flares.”
“I can swim,” Dahlia said indignantly. “When I was younger, I swam year-round at a nice pool, long course and short course. I competed in every meet there was, and placed finals each time.”
“I don’t know what you just said,” Severus interrupted gently, “but I absolutely agree. I did some of the things you did, too.”
“Did you?” Dahlia’s eyebrow quirked up.
“Yes. I swam year-round as well.”
“Did you?”
“Indeed- in the dirty river that surrounded our neighborhood.”
“Where did you live?” Dahlia frowned.
“Spinner’s End, Cokeworth.”
Severus closed his eyes, embarrassed by his childhood home. It was a horrible place to grow up, dirty, dark, and ugly.
Like you, a snide whisper said in his brain. Severus squeezed his knees to his chest. Dahlia didn’t let that movement skip over- she found that Severus often went into that pose when he was feeling scared or experiencing trauma, so she sat next to him and offered her hand to his shoulder.
“I never really learned to swim,” Severus said softly, picking at the bandage on his throat. “Neighborhood bullies liked picking on me, and they always pushed me into the river.”
He paused for a moment, and then shrugged his weird shrug, simply moving his left shoulder, his right side hanging limply at his side.
“I don’t know, I think that jumping into the river cleaned me off a bit,” he added with a wince.
He’d rarely ever gotten any baths or showers when he was younger.
Dahlia grimaced sympathetically and gave him a one-armed hug. Severus’s heart leaped.
Five minutes later, Severus was sitting in his wheelchair, wrapped in three blankets with Warming Charms, and heading out of the Infirmary.
He was wearing nothing but his swimming trunks and a scowl on his face that twisted his ruined cheek even more.
When they got to the lake, it was cold. So, so, bitterly cold that Severus shivered even with the blankets and Warming Charms. (Maybe he was exaggerating a little bit, but surely he was allowed to?)
Dahlia helped him out of the wheelchair, his right leg dragging on the ground but not having any weight on it. She was in a simple yellow swimsuit with polka dots on it, and was even silly enough to have swim goggles on her head.
She lifted him easily up and carried him over to the water’s edge.
It was a nice day, with the sun out and not a cloud in the sky, but it was so bitterly cold. The warmth of the sun did nothing to fight off the frost. Severus would have even admitted that it was a nice day- if he weren’t out experiencing it.
“Unwrapping your blankets,” she announced, as Severus sat in her lap like a baby.
She slowly exposed him to the cold air- immediately, pain settled into his hips and mostly the right side of his body. It seemed that his right side was weak, and too exposed to dark curses to fully warm him up.
Severus shivered and sighed slightly, his lips already turning blue. Dahlia cast several Warming Charms on him, which did help, but did nothing to take the pain away.
And when he entered the water, he regretted letting her drag him there.
“It’s cold,” he whispered, his teeth chattering. He was standing, on his own. The water did help him stand, it seemed. “It’s so, so cold.”
Dahlia wasn’t so fazed.
“Just stay for a little bit,” she encouraged. “We should do this every day.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Or maybe I should make an ice bath for you and you can take it in the bathroom.”
“I’d rather that over this,” Severus sneered wheezily. He closed his eyes, forced the shivering to go down, and spread out his limbs, floating like a starfish.
Dahlia was showing off, sinking to the bottom of the lake and jumping back up.
“I’m really curious- what’s on the bottom of the lake? Piranhas, perhaps, that might bite your toes?”
Dahlia glowered at him.
“Look, there’s a log that might potentially be an alligator,” Severus drawled, pointing at a log. Dahlia rolled her eyes.
“Not cold anymore?” she asked snidely.
“No, perhaps not,” Severus agreed with a snicker. “It’s getting much better, and is bearable. The pain, however, is not.”
“I’m sorry.” Dahlia looked truly guilty. “If it’s too much, we can head back up. The cold water’s supposed to help your muscles recover, not increase more stress and pain.”
“What muscles?” Severus retorted lightly. He flipped over to stand again and weakly raised his right arm- it was nothing but skin and bones. “I cannot even lift my arm without struggling.”
“You’re getting better,” Dahlia said simply, doing an elegant back dive. Severus’s eyes tracked her every move. She reappeared a few inches in front of him and beamed. Severus’s lips quirked up.
Severus simply floated and watched out of the corner of his eye as Dahlia did backflips and frontflips and, on one occasion, even screamed as something brushed against her leg (it was a fish).
When Severus checked to see what time it was, he was quite shocked to learn that they’d already stayed two hours in the lake. Severus nearly had to drag Dahlia out of the lake, which didn’t go too well for him.
Finally, when he was shivering again because of the wind despite the two thick towels covering him, Severus was crouched close to one of the trees while Dahlia laid out a blanket for them to sit on.
“I made sandwiches and that spaghetti you liked,” she said cheerfully, throwing on a t-shirt and pants, and then handed over clothes for him.
“There is no way that I’m moving a muscle,” Severus snarled, shaking badly.
“I’ll just feed you, then,” Dahlia teased.
“No.”
Severus unfurled from his cocoon of towels and reached out his left arm while Dahlia set more Warming Spells on him.
He ate a plate of spaghetti and half a sandwich, then leaned back against the tree again, his eyes closed.
He looked so much at peace during that moment, the worries gone from his face, his lips set into a soft line.
Finally, the tension was too much for her. Her crush, it was crushing her. Crushed by her crush. Dahlia couldn’t do it anymore.
“Severus?”
He opened his left eye and peeked at her, still wrapped tightly in his towels.
“Do you…do you think that you still feel the same way that you felt…before the war?”
“Before the war?” His voice was hoarse, hesitant, and he scanned her face nervously before replying, “About…?”
“I dunno.” Dahlia shrugged. “About how life is, about Harry, or Hermione, or-”
She was interrupted by the loud hoot of an owl.
Me! Dahlia wanted to shout. Me!
But the owl swooped down and dropped clippings of The Daily Prophet into her lap. Absolutely furious with herself and the interruption, Dahlia snatched the paper off of her lap, nearly close to tears. She’d nearly gotten her words out. If only the owl had waited another second!
Yet the second she scanned the paper, she let out a gasp; her frustrations were forgotten.
“What’s the matter?” Severus rasped, sitting up straight now.
Dahlia scanned the text hurriedly, paling with each second.
“Severus, what did Lucius Malfoy say to you the other day?”
“Lucius?” Severus frowned, biting his lip, and said, “I can’t really remember. It’s quite a jumble of thoughts and memories in my head- I was sick that day, and not my sharpest.”
He paused, the crease in his eyebrows increasing.
“He mentioned something about Bellatrix, and Nagini, and I snapped. I think it was that…Death Eaters. Something about a new Dark Lord.”
Dahlia’s heart thudded painfully against her chest.
“Ridiculous, I thought. There only can be one Dark Lord after all, and it would be Tom Riddle.”
Severus glanced up and saw her stricken face.
“Read it to me, please,” he begged quietly, and she obeyed, scooting to his side to offer him comfort for whatever reaction he might receive from hearing the news that was about to be told to him.
“At ten o’clock in the morning, on January 1st, 2002, the Muggle city of London was attacked. Shrieks could be heard across the city as cloaked and masked wizards wreaked havoc on a big gathering of Muggles. This group of wizards were horrifyingly similar to Death Eaters, but unlike the group that followed Lord Voldemort, these wizards wear masks that change colors and shape shifts constantly. Minister Shacklebolt and his team of Aurors are investigating this incident, along with the investigation of where Eugene Macmillan, head of Azkaban, is hiding.
“Reports indicate that Macmillan repeatedly allowed abuse and torture on imprisoned Death Eaters, including War Hero and spy Severus Snape, who received horrendous injuries and permanent disabilities because of the repeated torture that Macmillan allowed onto the Death Eaters. What’s even more, Macmillan even hid the fact that Snape was indeed alive and watched as Snape was fully pardoned and believed to be dead. Macmillan will be facing multiple charges and a long time in his own prison. For more details, refer to November’s issue.”
Severus was speechless.
“Lucius was right, after all,” he mumbled, his breathing turning ragged. He leaned against Dahlia’s shoulder, his chest beginning to shake with sobs.
“They’re coming for me, I know it. They’re coming, and about to torture me again.”
Severus closed his eyes, wriggling out of the cocoon to wrap his arms around Dahlia’s arm, burying his head in her shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” he rasped, pulling back as he realized what he was doing.
“Don’t be,” Dahlia said, a little bit too enthusiastically. “Severus, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on, my shoulder is open.”
Severus choked out a horrible-sounding raspy laugh.
He was horrified. It didn’t even sound like a laugh. He immediately sobered, his expression dulling.
“Oh, Severus.”
Dahlia went closer, close enough for him to count her eyelashes, and she tentatively traced the angry, jagged scars that ran across his throat. Severus cleared it anxiously, his voice cracked and raspy.
“Don't be embarrassed.”
She gently pushed his head back down to rest against her shoulder.
“The Dark Lord wouldn’t have liked color-changing masks,” Severus rasped weakly.
Dahlia exhaled.
“Imagine neon pink masks flashing at you as you get chased,” he mused, trying hard not to laugh. “I wouldn’t want to wear that, thank goodness they found out I was a spy before this new Dark Lord came about.”
“Severus,” Dahlia chided softly, rubbing his right hand gently.
“You’re right,” Severus said glumly. “I wouldn’t want my fate on anybody. And it really isn’t something to joke about.”
Severus sighed, relaxing. He would never admit it, but he was glad that he came out today.
“It’s starting all over again,” Severus muttered. “If this new leader managed to get Bella and the Carrows, and everyone else, it means that he’s really…influential. It’s starting all over again, isn’t it?”
“Yes. But Severus, this time, you won’t be doing anything, alright?”
“I suppose I can’t.” He stared angrily at his limp right arm. It was obvious that he’d given up. Because Severus Snape, the one before the Battle, never admitted that he was weak. He didn’t like giving up now, of course, but he couldn’t do anything, not when he couldn’t even walk without an ankle brace, a leg brace, and a bunch of charms, not to mention the crutches he would need.
“What were you about to say?” Severus asked abruptly, sitting up straight. He was hoping, secretly, that Dahlia had the same feelings he had for her…but it was too much to wish for, wasn’t it? And with his luck…
“Nothing.” Dahlia stared down, not quite meeting his gaze.
“Hm.”
“I’ll tell you later. I promise.”
Dahlia’s heart fluttered as Severus looked at her straight in the eye.
Was it too much to hope for, for Severus to love her back, as it was before Albus was killed? Dahlia would give anything for him.
Anything.