Comfort
Red eyes, staring at him.
Pale face, twisted with malice.
He hadn’t known it then, but now he knows what he said.
“Kill.”
The cage pins him to the ground. He can’t escape, can’t even scream.
The snake lunges at him, sinking its fangs into his neck.
Pain burst.
Severus screams, feeling like his throat was on fire.
Nagini bites down and lets go.
Severus feels the chunks of skin being torn away.
And then Potter. Lily’s green eyes on him. Severus cries for the first time in a long time and says goodbye to his memories.
But Potter, stupid Potter, doesn’t save him.
Severus is too weak to hold on, and his hand falls down.
So Potter leaves, and Severus is in too much pain to call him back.
He crawls, dragging his too-weak legs with his arms to the corner of the Shack, where he knows Lupin hides some antidotes.
Nothing left but half a bezoar.
Severus shoves it down his throat, crying aloud in agony.
He doesn’t know how long he lays there, clinging on to life, begging to die, but he lives.
He lives until the Battle is over.
But no one comes.
Severus woke, gasping for breath. He’s sweating. Hard. Panic engulfed him as he surveyed his surroundings…where was he?
It isn’t the white walls of the Infirmary. The room is smaller, cozier. The sheets are green.
Oh, that’s right. Severus started sleeping in Dahlia’s quarters after a student got injured enough to have to spend the night here.
Severus tried to slow down his breathing.
He’s in pain, and he’s scared.
There’s a constant burn on his right side. Severus can’t tell what time it is, and he’s afraid of more nightmares.
So, hating himself, he presses the button on the side of the bed.
Moments later, Dahlia opens the door, looking sleepy.
“I’m sorry,” Severus whispered, tears filling his eyes. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
“It’s okay,” she said slowly, still trying to blink awake. “That’s what the button is for.”
She sits down, yawns, and offers him a Sleeping Draught, which he takes.
“Thanks, Dahlia.”
He was out before he heard her answer.
When he hears footsteps, his heart leaps.
Too foolish, he knows. He was too hopeful.
Aurors enter the Shack, spots the vulnerable Death Eater, forces him onto his feet, and soon flies him to Azkaban.
Severus is back in that cell again, trembling in the corner, each breath rattling in his chest.
He’s going to die here, he knows. It’s only the first month, and he’s already met nine torturers, all unpleasant.
Bellatrix cackles in the corner and kicks him.
He’s trying not to feel, trying not to hope. Trying not to live.
The others, when they get food, split it amongst themselves.
Severus is too weak, too sick, too much in pain, and too scared to ask for his own share.
They eat it noisily in front of him. Severus’s stomach writhes in protest.
Number 10 comes in.
Severus feels so, so scared.
“Severus Snape, huh? Not so scary anymore, are you?”
A kick and a punch. And then the man grabs his right wrist and twists it so hard that the bone splinters.
Severus screams.
Crucio. Again, and again, and again.
Over and over, until his mind is a hopeless, broken wreck.
Pain. So, so much pain.
It’s the pain that wakes him again.
And it’s the screaming that wakes Dahlia.
She knocked on the door. The sound launched him into a storm of agony, fear, and helplessness.
Severus thrashed, not in control of his body anymore. Dahlia entered, dodging his flailing limbs, trying not to see that agonized expression on his thin, prematurely aged face.
She casted a spell on Severus, a Calming Spell.
After another minute of this, he stopped abruptly, breathing heavily.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, weeping now. “I’m so, so sorry for being a burden, for being this- this stupid, broken baby. I’m not full anymore, you know? I’m empty. Sometimes, I can’t even find myself. I can’t even find my sanity, my mind. I’ve lost it. I’ve lost my mind.”
He cried harder now, shaking with more spasms.
Dahlia sat down next to him, paused, and then lied down.
He had nightmares before the Battle, too, when they were dating. Dahlia carefully wrapped her arms around his torso and whispered soft words into his ears.
Severus stopped crying as she wiped the tears off of his cheek.
“Accio, Luna’s book,” she said softly, waving her wand around.
“What?” Severus gave her a startled expression.
“Maybe,” she said soothingly, “listening about a world that is mostly fantasy will help you chase away reality, just for a little bit, so you can get some rest.”
The book came zooming into her hands.
“‘Chapter One: Pandora and the Naughty Nargles.’”
Severus laughed softly at the title. Dahlia smiled and stroked his hair, trying to soothe him more.
“‘It was a sweet house, where Pandora lived. Although it was on a cloud, because clouds are clearly cotton balls, hydrangeas were growing around the modest stone house. Pandora loved her house. She loved seeing the rainbows that arched across the sky, and loved the occasional Pegasus. But she loved the mistletoes hanging in her kitchen the most. The only problem was that there were constantly Nargles in them…”
Severus slept without a nightmare for the rest of the night.
When he woke that next morning, Dahlia was curled up against him, the book still in her hands.
Severus smiled gently down at her sleeping image and felt a crushing sense of gratitude for Luna Lovegood and her father.