That Time We Pushed Our Teacher Down A Well
Holly, Tracey, and Draco collided with Harry and Ron in the Hall. “Holly!” Harry breathed, eagerly, “we figured out what’s been attacking the school! It’s a-”
“A Basilisk. We know.” Tracey said quickly. “But listen, Ron, your sister, she-”
Ron went pale. “Ginny? What’s the matter with Ginny?” he demanded, looking around as if expecting to find her with them.
“And what’s Malfoy doing with you? I’d have thought he’d been the one behind the attacks!” Harry accused.
Draco and Holly both opened their mouths to respond, but the sound of Professor McGonagall’s voice filled the air instead, not unlike that day in Dumbledore’s office. “All students return to their dormitories at once. All teachers return to the staffroom. Immediately, please.”
“Not another attack? Not now?” Harry groaned.
“Ron, Ginny’s been taken into the chamber. We have to get help!” Holly explained, grimly.
“Ginny?” Ron squeaked.
Harry started running towards the staffroom “we’ll go get Professor McGonagall! She’ll know what to do! Come on!” he called over his shoulder. Tracey and Ron ran after him, and Holly started to, but realized Draco wasn’t budging.
“Come on, Draco, it’s safer to stay with the group, lets go!” she hissed. He looked wildly at her, but swallowed thickly and nodded, coming when she pulled his robe’s sleeve.
They caught up to the others just as they turned the corner into the corridor that held the staffroom. The door was already closed and rather than knocking, Harry and Tracey just pressed their ears to it and listened. For several nail-biting minutes, the group waited, silently. Then Harry and Tracey shot up and ran over to where the rest of them had hidden behind the corner. “They’re sending Lockheart!” Tracey whispered.
“We’ll catch him at his office!” Harry said. “He needs to know what he’s up against!”
But when they reached Lockheart, they found him packing. “Are you going somewhere?” Harry demanded. Holly felt dread creeping up her spine at the exchange. If Lockheart left it would be up to them to go get Ginny. They’d already wasted so much time… they wouldn’t be able to get another teacher. Not if they wanted to save her in time.
Professor Lockheart snapped one of his chests shut, several folds of white fabric still hanging out. He looked at them with a strange panic in his eyes and a very fake smile. “Ah. Yes, urgent call - unavoidable, really. No one regrets more than I.” he tried to smile even wider but honestly he just looked crazy.
“Tt. I always knew you were useless!” Draco scoffed.
“Of course he’s useless, but what about my sister!?” Ron demanded, turning as red as his hair.
Lockheart went back to packing. “Well, uh, as to that… most unfortunate. No one regrets more than I.” he said, again, a nervous laugh escaping his lips.
You’re the defense against the dark arts teacher! You can’t go now!” Ron shouted.
“How can you be running away? You’ve fought so many monsters! How is this time any different?” Tracey added, looking both crushed, and angry.
“Books can be misleading,” Lockheart told her, making a move for the door, which Harry quickly blocked.
“You wrote them!”
“Dear boy, do use your head! Do you think my books would have sold half as well if people didn't think I’d wrote them?” their teacher cried, exasperatedly.
“Is there anything you can do?” Holly blurted, drawing her wand. She wasn’t great at DADA but maybe that was because she’d only had voldi-head and “my-favorite-color-is-lilac” for teachers. She was, at the very least, able to summon snakes.
“Well, yes, actually. I’m rather gifted with memory charms, which, is what I’m going to have to do to all of you…” he turned to retrieve his own wand, but found five wands pointed back at him when he turned back.
“Don’t even think about it!” Harry told him.
Lockheart dropped his wand.
Harry and Ron prodded the professor by threat of wand to follow the rest of them back down the hall and to the creepy haunted bathroom where Holly had seen Ginny open the chamber earlier that evening. “It’s here,” she said, quietly. She turned to her brother and took his hand. “Open” they hissed together, and the chamber heard them.
The sinks parted and opened into a massive stone hole in the ground. Like a well, almost? Tracey grinned up at Lockheart like a feral dog. “I think he should go first!” she said. Holly had to agree that was the single greatest idea Tracey had ever come up with.
“Oh, now, children, what good would that do?” Lockheart weeded, trying again to push past them and run away.
“Better you than us.” Ron said simply, backing Lockheart towards the opening.
Lockheart nodded to himself. “Can’t argue with that,” he muttered to himself, trying to keep from the edge as best as possible with the five of them closing in on him. It was no use, because Harry pressed the tip of his wand into Lockheart’s chest and pushed him in. Lockheart screamed for only about a second, and then they heard a great thud. “It really is quite filthy down here…” the useless professor called up.
The five of them looked at each other, none of them terribly excited for what they had to do next. “Ginny so owes me for this,” Tracey muttered, stepping up to the edge and jumping in. a moment later they heard a thud followed by a soft soft “owe”.
Harry took Holly’s hand again and moved to the edge. “You don’t have to come, Holly, you’ve already done a lot…” he whispered.
Holly shook her head. “I do. For Ginny.” she insisted. Harry nodded, took her other hand as well, and together, they jumped. There were maybe two terrifying seconds of falling in which Holly swore to herself never to jump off anything high ever again, and then the shaft seemed to turn into a tunnel and the pair of them were sliding down the grossest slide Holly had ever seen. When they finally hit the floor they rolled for a moment, becoming tangled together.
Tracey helped Holly off her brother, and Harry called up to the others, “we’re good!”
Draco came next, screaming bloody murder all the way down and then groaning like a baby upon landing. “Shut it, Malfoy!” Harry snapped at him, as he picked himself up. Then Ron came, screaming just as loud. Harry said nothing to him about it.
They gathered themselves up and began traversing the tunnel-ish place they’d found themselves in. “Now remember, any sign of movement and you should close your eyes straight away.” Harry reminded everyone. They all nodded and murmured their agreement.
A few passages passed by before they came upon the snake skin. It was massive, and apparently too much for Lockheart’s weak heart, because he fainted as soon as Ron suggested the snake that shed it would need to be at least sixty feet long. “Heart of a lion, this one,” Ron muttered, only for Lockheart to jump up and snatch the broken, scotch-taped wand from Ron’s hand.
“The adventure ends here, Children. But don’t fret!” Lockheart began, waving Ron’s wand around wildly. “The world will know our story, how I was too late to save the girl. How you five tragically lost your minds at the sight of her mangled body- so,” he pointed the wand at Holly. “You first Miss Potter. Say goodbye to your memories…” Harry jumped in front of her at the last second before Lockhart cast “OBLIVIE!” it didn't matter though, because the spell rebounded spectacularly.
They all watched as Lockheart went flying into the bedrock. He hit it so hard that the walls (if you could call them that) began to rumble and shake, and then everything began to crash down around them. When the dust settled, Harry, Holly, and Draco were on one side, while Ron and Tracey were trapped on the other side with a clueless Lockheart.
With no choice but to go on without them and hope that they could dig their way through, the three of them turned to the serpentine door that marked the official entrance to the chamber. Holly hadn’t noticed it before in all the chaos, but apparently Harry and Draco had. “It’s like the one to our common room, only smaller,” draco noted.
“Yeah, and not… you know… camouflage.” Holly quipped.
Harry hissed at the door to open, and the ornate snakes on it began to pull back, unlocking it. The iron door swung open, revealing the chamber beyond.