A hand wrapped around Hermione’s mouth and yanked her inside one of the doors. She’d been back at Grimmauld Place for less than thirty seconds and already had found trouble. Classic. Her eyes widened as the disillusionment charm trickled off of her skin.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?”
“I smell a little mischief, Georgie.”
“I agree, Freddie. I agree.”
Hermione relaxed and spun around; George loosened his hold on her and stepped back smugly. She raised a brow. “What happened to, ‘Hi, Hermione. Good morning,’? Why do you have to jump me every single time?”
“It’s much more fun that way,” Fred said easily.
George nodded. “It is. Now, where have you been?”
Hermione rolled her eyes and kicked a shoe out of the way. She was in the twins’ room, and it was a disaster. Classic. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“Off with your boyfriend?” Fred grinned.
“You wish,” she replied.
“Bothering Ronald?” George asked.
“Not yet,” Hermione said slyly. “But if you stop asking questions, I promise to help you get back at him for eating the last tart.”
The twins shared a glance. “What did you have in mind?”
Hermione pulled out her wand. “Well, I’ve been working on a new spell…”
They got to work. Fred cast a locking spell on the door and George slipped a note into the hallway that read, Stay back! We’re suffering from explosive diarrhea! Hermione doubted that anyone would buy it, but at least Fred’s locking spell was sturdy. By her estimations, they had roughly a half hour before Molly came storming in. Plenty of time.
Truth be told, it took far less planning than some of their other pranks. It had nothing on the twins’ grand escape from Hogwarts or even the birthday cakes they sent Harry, but it was still fun. Something to do.
The spell was ready by the time Molly screamed at them to come down for lunch. Hermione, Fred, and George could barely contain their excitement. If all went well, this would be the most pleasant meal they’d had in a long, long time.
They slipped into their seats–Fred and George beside one another and Hermione directly across. The other inhabitants of Grimmauld Place slowly trickled in; Harry sat down on Hermione’s left, Ginny beside George, Arthur at the head of the table. Molly and Remus sat near Mr. Weasley, and Sirius stumbled in with a sigh, claiming that he was hungry enough to eat a griffin.
Ronald showed up last, in his typical fashion, eyes alighting on all of the platters descending onto the table. He licked his lips as he sank into the seat on Hermione’s right, and she exchanged a grin with the twins. The setup was complete.
“Alright, everyone. Dig in!” Molly said.
Ron’s hand was the first to shoot forward, his needy fingers nabbing one of the sandwiches. As his arm retracted mindlessly, mouth opening, Hermione gave a short nod to signal Fred and George.
Just before the sandwich hit Ronald’s lips, the three of them pointed their wand at him under the table and whispered, “Politus excessus.”
Ron froze. Apparently, the spell had a slight stalling effect. Fascinating, Hermione would need to take some mental notes. This was a proper experiment, after all.
“Ron?” Her brother had caught Ginny’s attention. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Ginevra Weasley!”
“Sorry, Mum.” Ginny leaned over the table to inspect Ron closer. She whispered, “Seriously. What’s wrong with him?”
This question was directed at her other brothers that were currently present, but Fred and George both had mastered a good poker face. They shrugged. “Teenagers,” they said in unison.
Hermione bit back a grin and continued to watch. Come on, come on…it should be working by now.
Sure enough, Ron blinked and seemed to come to his senses. His eyes narrowed at the sandwich between his fingers and carefully set it down on his plate. He looked all around his plate, then his lap, and finally all around the table for something. Hermione couldn’t decide if the spell was working at all. So far, he was merely behaving irregularly. Oh, well. It was still entertaining.
Harry swallowed another gulp of pumpkin juice and eyed his friend with interest. “Did you lose something, mate?”
Ron inhaled sharply and sat up straight. He pivoted to face Harry fully. “Pardon my rudeness. I did not intend to interrupt your meal.” He pivoted back, pulled out his wand, and transfigured a spare goblet into a set of silverware. His fingers delicately grasped a knife and fork; with expert care, he began cutting his sandwich into bite-sized pieces.
George choked into his soup and Fred beat his back to cover his own amusement. Hermione grinned behind her hand.
Harry’s mouth dropped open. “What the…”
Ron arranged a minuscule bit onto his fork and raised it to his mouth. He gave a pleased sort of hum at the taste, swallowed silently, and nodded to himself. “Absolutely delectable. I do think I’ll have to give my compliments to the chef.”
George could hold it in no longer and cackled. Fred sighed in contentment. Ginny narrowed her eyes at Hermione. “You did this. I know it.”
Hermione shrugged, but her grin certainly gave her away. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Ginny pointed a finger at her. “Do not, under any circumstance, cancel the spell. This is the best day of my life.” She turned to Ron. “My good brother, do tell me about the meal you’re having.”
Ron’s eyes lit up. “I’m so glad you asked. Have you ever seen a sandwich as exquisitely formed? With such vibrant tastes and shapery? It’s positively perfect. Excuse me,” he murmured, before raising another tiny bite to his mouth.
Ginny’s eyes were wide. “Why, Ron, I didn’t know you were capable of such manners.”
Ron frowned and took a drink to clear his throat. “I’m very sorry if I’ve insulted you in the past. Please accept my humblest apologies. Could you pass the chips?”
George levitated the platter over to his brother. “Here you go, Ronniekins.”
“Thank you very much, George.”
Harry, Hermione, Fred, George, and Ginny all laughed loudly. Hermione didn’t know why they hadn’t done something like this sooner. Ron’s usually disgusting habits could have been remedied far sooner. No more talking with his mouth full, no more stealing the last bite of everyone’s favorite treat, no more spilling and eating with his hands. This was probably the greatest development the Weasley family had had in years, and everyone seemed to share the sentiment.
Their laughter caught the adults’ attention, and Remus raised a brow. “What’s going on over there?”
“Nothing!” Fred said.
“Don’t worry about it!” George smiled.
“Polite conversation,” Ginny giggled.
“I have no idea,” Harry confessed.
“Improvement,” Hermione crossed her arms.
Ron didn’t answer, as his mouth was full, and under the spell he simply could not allow such an impolite thing as speaking without a proper swallow to occur. He did, however, manage a sweet smile. It was so un-Ron-like that Molly set down her cup.
“Is everything alright?” She asked fretfully. “Ronald? Are you ill?”
The other children watched with bated breath to see what he would do. Ron carefully swallowed, set down his magically transformed fork (in the correct placement, mind you) and nodded to his mother. He stood from his chair and took measured steps to approach Molly’s seat. Hermione could hardly breathe.
Molly’s eyes darted around hesitantly. “Ronald? Darling, is something the matter with the food or something?”
Sirius and Remus exhaled sharply in surprise as Ron dropped into a bow and reached for his mother’s hand. He gently raised it to his lips, pressed a chaste kiss onto her knuckles, and met her eyes.
“My dear mother, I simply must thank you for this delicious meal. It’s perfect.”
Molly’s mouth parted in surprise. Sirius guffawed and looked right at Hermione. She winked at him, and he immediately tugged on Remus’ collar to whisper something in his ear. Remus grinned and saluted her. Arthur hadn’t even stopped eating in the commotion; he was quite used to the chaos in his family, and would not allow it to ruin a perfectly good meal.
Molly glanced at her hand, still grasped in her son’s and blinked. “Ron…are you quite well?”
He released her fingers and set them back on the table. He smiled again and nodded. “Yes, of course. I just feel as if we haven’t appreciated you enough, and I wish to remedy it. You are a marvelous specimen, Mum. I’m sure Father is proud.”
Arthur grunted his agreement and shoveled another sandwich into his mouth.
Molly blushed profusely. “Oh…oh, my. Ronald…that’s just. Well, thank you.”
Ron nodded briskly and returned to his chair to finish his meal. After all, he must show his host how grateful he was. The remainder of lunch went something like this.
“Oi, Ron, try the rolls.”
“My, my! How steamy and moist. Here, you have one first.”
“Ron, would you clean my plate for me?”
“There is no greater joy. Give it here, madame.”
“Ronny, in your opinion, what is the worst thing a person could do during a meal?”
“Oh, taking another bite before properly swallowing the first, I think. I cringe to even imagine it.”
Sirius and Remus had even joined in, and Molly remained completely oblivious. She was confident that it was she who had raised such a polite son, and spent most of lunch harassing her other children for not being as respectful as Ron. This only made Ginny and the twins laugh even harder, and Hermione sat back and watched smugly. Ginny was right–this was the best day of her life.
She’d cancel the spell, obviously. Just not yet. One glance at the twins and she knew they agreed. No, they’d keep it for a few days. They all deserved a break from Ron’s terrible mood swings. He’d be furious when it was over, but all in all, it would be worth it.
Across the table, she locked eyes with Remus. He shook his head with a smile and pointed at her chest. With great pride, he mouthed, Marauder.
To Hermione, it felt like more of an honor than even being named prefect. She beamed.