“Regulus. Regulus!” James was chasing after him”
“Regulus, please! I really didn’t mean it.”
At that Regulus whirled around to face him
“Really James? You were under literal Veritaserum, kinda seems like you fucking meant it.” Regulus spat out and almost immediately regretted it when he noticed James beginning to cry.
“No, no I mean-“ James had tears falling freely now “I’m so happy-“ James took a deep breath seeming to try and calm down “I’m so happy we’re together, I love getting to be with you, you know that Regulus, please tell me you know that”. James was looking at him so sincerely with tears running down his face, if Regulus wasn’t so distraught himself he’d have been moved to comfort James.
“James.” Regulus began doing his damned best to keep it together. “She asked if you were in a happy relationship and you said-“ He had to stop to compose himself lest he breakdown before he could make it back to the dorm but he choked on his words when they came out “James, you said no.”
“No Regulus please, you have to belive me, I love you so much. Put me under again, ask me again, please Regulus” He could tell James was panicking now, but he couldn’t really be concerned as he was trying to keep from just collapsing right there and becoming one with the stone.
“I think James-“ he had to stop to blink tears away “I think you need to sort out what it is you want, because clearly you’re not happy-“ James moved to cut him off again but he held a hand for him to stop “Veritaserum can reveal subconscious feelings, I know you know this, so you obviously have some stuff to think through” he steeled himself for the rest of what he had to say “and until you give it some thought I think it’s best we don’t see each other”. As the words left his mouth he felt his own heartbreak, but he needed to say it. He wouldn’t make someone stay who didn’t want to, and he always knew James would want to leave him eventually.
“Regulus, please.” He’d never seen or heard James look so devastated “You have to believe me Regulus I really didn’t mean it, please don’t go.” there were tears running down James’ face.
“I’m sorry James, take some time to think on things” As the words left him he knew he couldn’t stay here for much longer without full on sobbing “I can’t be here right now.”
James reached out to him again “Regulus, I love you so much, I can explain I-“
Making him believe someone actually loved him and wanted to be with him just for it to all be a lie wasn’t enough? James could at least leave Regulus to wallow in his own heartbreak if his feeling weren’t reciprocated “What’s there to explain James? Hm? Mary asked you if you were in a happy relationship, and you fucking said no under Veritaserum. What possible explanation could you have for that?” As angry and hurt as he is he’s really pleading for there to be a valid excuse here, that everything wasn’t a lie.
“Regulus I really do love you, i’m so happy with you, and I can explain why I said I wasn’t-“ and James seemed to have a fight with himself. Regulus had seen him do this before, when picking between helping one person, but giving up what someone else had told him in confidence. Regulus had seen James like this most often when as a moderator between himself and Sirius, when James knew something that was beneficial to both of them but wasn’t his place to say. It was likely that James did actually have an explanation, and the impending heartbreak Regulus was feeling would dissipate, soothed not for the first time by the magic that is James Potter “I can explain- there is an explanation, I just can’t tell you what it is.” and James looked close to tears again.
But no. Fuck no.
Regulus was seething, “You have an explanation, but you can’t tell me what it is?”
James clearly knew by his voice that he was very fucking angry, livid actually, but met him head on “Yes Regulus, there’s an explanation but I can’t tell you, and I realize you’re upset, with good reason, and i’m so sorry, but you have to know that I didn’t really mean ‘no’ please tell me you know that Regulus.”
And. Regulus did know that. Or he thought he did at least. James has never up until this point given him any reason to believe he wasn’t happy or utterly enamored with Regulus, made sure to say ‘I love you’ a million times a day, always reassured Regulus when he needed it and everything had been perfect.
But everything with Sirius had been good until one day he was just gone. Everything with Mother had been technically fine until he was locked out of the wards. He’s never had any reason to not believe either of them either until he was abandoned both times. James rejecting him shouldn’t have come as such a shock, hes never been enough for someone to want to stay.
“I have to go”, and without looking back he fled to his dorm.
Once back in his dorm he ignored Barty and Evan and hid behind his bed curtains. He lay there for what must have been hours replaying the events of the night, broken up with interment sobbing sessions.
He didn’t allow himself to cry often, it’s better to save it for when he really needs it or else he’d be crying over everything. He allowed himself a cry when Sirius left him, and another when he was disinherited and was worried Sirius wouldn’t take him back, and that’s been it for the last at least ten years, but the love of his life wasn’t happy with him so he felt this was warranted.
As the last round of sobs subsided he ran through the last truth or dare game he’d ever play. Ever. The game was fucking cursed.
Mary had just been dared to kiss the fittest person in the room, and after an uncomfortably long snogging session with one Lily Evan’s, she now had that characteristic gleam of mischief in her eyes that Regulus had come to both respect and fear in his time ‘bonding with Sirius’. He knew Mary could get anything out of anybody and he prayed to Merlin she wouldn’t sniff him out.
He breathed a sigh of relief when she looked the opposite side of the circle to him.
“James, truth or dare?”
Well fuck.
James’ face remained calm but Regulus could tell by the set of his shoulders that he was tensed.
Now. Regulus knew James Potter always picked dare, said he didn’t have an secrets worth telling so it’d be pointless to pick anything else, but ‘snog the fittest person here’ being the last dare and Mary being the darer, he’d absolutely pick truth this time.
‘Why Mary dear, I pick truth”, and he could tell James was still tense but less so.
Mary smirked at him like a cat that caught the canary, “James my darling, are you currently in a happy relationship, maybe even with someone in this room?”
Shit.
He shouldv’e prepared for this. James was a shit liar on a good day let alone dosed with fucking Veritaserum.
He watched James struggle, likely trying to keep from admitting that he and Regulus had been in fact dating for the last six months. It’s not that it absolutely needed to be kept secret, Regulus just wasn’t ready to come out as a couple publicly. It’d get back to his Mother, and although he’d been disinherited over a year, he just wasn’t ready for the things she’d surely have to say to him.
So he watched James struggle, loving him all the more for it, and prepared to reveal to all of Gryffindor Tower, thus all of Hogwarts, thus all of Wizarding Britain, that he was disgustingly in love with James Potter.
He was nervous of the possible backlash, but worse things have happened than a public entanglement with James Potter.
He watched James lose the fight to the potion and prepared for the barrage of questions they were about to be bombarded with, and then “No.”
No?
He felt his entire body go numb, and James didn’t even look at him.
“No?” Mary looked as shocked as he felt.
James met her eyes, jaw set, “No.”
And suddenly Regulus couldn’t stand to be there a second longer and immediately moved to exit the dormitory.
Playing it over and over there was no other explanation (other than the one James supposedly couldn’t give him) than the phrasing of Mary’s question. ‘Are you in a happy relationship?’ James couldn’t lie that well to save his life, he didn’t deny he was in a relationship, he denied being in a happy one.
The thought made Regulus sick.
He’d always assumed that things with James were too good to be true, always waiting for the other shoe to drop, the sword to fall.
No one ever ,not even his own mother had stayed by his side consistently (with the exception of Barty but he was just as fucked if not more so than Regulus was) so why should someone as good and bright as James stay for so long?
Regulus truly bloody believed that James had been in love with him, trusted him even. Who could fake something like that for over six months?
James apparently.
Regulus started a fresh bout of sobbing at the thought. He was well in truly in love with James Potter, and it wasn’t reciprocated.
Had it ever been?
Dear Merlin.
What if it truly was all a lie? What if-?
“What the fuck Reggie?” his thoughts had been interrupted by none other than Barty. The one person who’s ever stood by him no matter what, the thought made him sob harder.
Barty moved further into his bed and wrapped his arms around him, Regulus just clung to him and sobbed harder, “Reg? Regulus what the fuck happened? Why are you so upset? I haven’t seen you cry this much since Sirius ran away.”
The thought that James had reduced him to a state comparable to when he had been left all alone in a literal house of horrors made him cry harder.
“Shit. Sorry Reg, but really who do I have to kill?”
And no. As upset as he was he didn’t want anything bad to happen to James. He loved James and in turn James made Regulus feel happy and loved, even it was all possibly fake.
The thought of what Barty could do panicked him enough that he was able to choke back his sob to get out at least a sentence, “No! You can’t kill him!”
He felt Barty jolt upright and Regulus sat up to meet him.
“Him? Him as in Sirius? I thought you guys were doing better? What the fuck did he do now?”
Regulus just shook his head.
“Not Sirius?”
Regulus just shook his head again, no not Sirius.
“Okay. Not Sirius, then you gotta help me out here Reg, i’m only so good at guessing”.
So it did seem so impossible that even Barty’s ever paranoid brain didn’t supply James as a possibility. It really had been that convincing.
Regulus took a deep breath and felt tears collecting in his eyes again.
“James.” he croaked out.
“James? James James? James Potter James? Utter absolute fucking wanker who you’ve got wrapped around your little finger James?”
and Regulus started sobbing again.
“Shit! Sorry Reg!” Barty held him to his chest again, “What the hell happened?”
Regulus took a minute to control his breathing while Barty rocked him and ran his fingers through his hair and after a few minutes he felt like he could speak, even if it broke his heart all over again to retell it.
Telling Barty made it feel even more real.
He took a deep breath speaking into Barty’s chest, “We were playing truth or dare, but with Veritaserum. James picked truth-“
“Coward.”
“Shut up. He was trying to protect our secret.” Was he though? Why would he protect something he wasn’t happy to be apart of anyway?
Oh.
Sirius.
He had done it for Sirius.
If word got out that he and James were in a relationship (which it surely would have had James had to kiss him on a dare, or Regulus’ reaction to James kissing literally anyone else) and his mother found out, well. Sirius would do anything to protect Regulus. Even get himself into trouble, something big enough to cover up whatever scandal (in his mother’s eyes) a public outing would cause.
The obvious conclusion for James would be to protect Sirius.
It’s always to protect Sirius.
Being second to Sirius would be Regulus’ place forever it seemed.
He began to cry even harder than he had even before Barty found him.
“Shit Reguls! I keep fucking this up. Keep going I won’t interrupt”.
Barty rocked him for what felt like hours until he calmed enough to speak again, this time with a sort of calm detachment.
He moved out of Barty’s hold and sat beside his bed.
Coming second to Sirius was something he was used to after all.
“We were playing Veritaserum truth or dare and somebody asked James if he was in a ‘happy relationship’ and he said no”.
“No?”
Regulus nodded, “No.”
Barty seemed to take that in.
“I’m going to kill him” and Barty moved to get up from the bed but Regulus pulled him back down.
“You can’t kill him.”
Barty just looked at him and gestured to his own shirt that was ruined with Regulus’ tears.
Regulus just swatted his hand away, “No i’m being ser-” Fuck, why was his brother literally everywhere? He took a deep breath “Barty. I’m being - well i’m not fucking kidding.” As much as the idea of James not being happy with him in a relationship devastated him, he did still love him, even if James didn’t feel the same way. He didn’t want anything ,especially anything Barty could come up with,to happen to James. “Barty Do.Not. Do anything to cause harm, physical or otherwise, to James Potter. Do you understand me?”.
He met Barty’s eyes to show how much he meant it, Barty looked away first.
“Fine.” he crossed his arms, “but i’m not letting him just waltz back in here once he eventually decides he is actually in love with you, you deserve better than that shit Regulus.”
The thought of James deciding he wasn’t in love with Regulus was enough to send him into hysterics again.
“Shit! Sorry Reg!” Barty pulled him back into his chest, and they laid they’re together for the rest of the day.
It didn’t take long for James to find Regulus the next day. Which should’ve been expected, James did always know how to find him.
He was there waiting at the kitchens entrance.
Regulus should’ve know he would know that Regulus would avoid the great hall at all cost.
Fucking Bastard.
Of course he had to know Regulus so well and stand there looking utterly beautiful. No wonder Regulus fell in love with him, but no, absolutely not Regulus was not dealing with him right now.
Not after he spent the entire last day with Barty crying over him.
He turned to head straight back to his dorms and avoid everyone else at all cost.
“Regulus!” James moved to follow him. “Regulus please wait!” James caught up to him and grabbed him by the wrist.
No.
He might still be in love with James, but James can’t just go grabbing him all romantically when he was only fake in love back.
Regulus snatched his hand away “Fuck off James.” He moved to continue on his way where he could have a breakdown in peace but James only jumped in front of him.
“Regulus please I know your upset but if you just let me explain I can-“
Explain? Explain what? How James only ever pretended to be in love with Regulus to save Sirius some heartache? Regulus couldn’t even bear the thought, hearing the words come from James’ mouth might actually kill him.
Regulus crossed his arms and sent his best glare at James head on, “Oh?” he tilted his head at James “like the explanation you just couldn’t tell me last night? The explanation that you’ve had about twelve hours to concoct? I’m sure you’ve planed more havoc in less time, you and your explanation can shove off James.”
Again he moved past James but again James moved to stop him. “Regulus please just listen, I promise it’s not what it seems like, I can explain, I was trying to protect-“
Fuck no. He absolutely could not hear the words ‘I was trying to protect your brother’ come out of James Potters’ mouth. It would actually kill him.
“No.” He interrupted James with a tone that meant he was very much not fucking around. “James I don’t want to hear it. I said we should spend some time apart, twenty four hours isn’t ’time apart’ it’s hardly even breathing room. I don’t want to fucking see you and I mean that. Don’t come find me again”, and with that he went back to his dorm room so he could break down in the privacy of his own bed.
Not two hours later none other than his nuisance of an older brother followed by Barty came bursting into his room where he was curled up not even having bothered changing out of his school robes.
“Reggie what the fuck is going on? Why did I find James in his bed crying his eyes out, and when I confronted him about it he said ‘it wasn’t Regs’ fault’. He would only say that if it was in fact your fault Regulus Arcturus so what the fuck happened?” Sirius was of course automatically assuming Regulus had done something wrong.
Regulus refused to even face his direction, hadn’t even looked at him since he came in.
Barty called from behind Sirius, “Sorry Reg, I wouldn’t have let him in if I knew he was going to yell at you, I thought he was there when it happened”.
“Happened? Reggie? What happened?”
Regulus didn’t respond.
“Barty. what the fuck happened?”
No response from Barty it seemed because Sirius just huffed and hopped into bed with Regulus.
Regulus tried to hide under the covers but Sirius pulled them down quicker and fought to push them off the bed. They wrestled each other until they both fell to the floor and Sirius had Regulus pinned under him but Regulus had him by the hair.
It was then that Sirius stilled suddenly, “Fuck Reggie have you been crying?”
Regulus sniffed and tried to squirm away “No.”
Sirius just grabbed him by the jaw, “Holy shit you have, what the fuck happened?”.
“You were literally there what do you mean what happened?” Regulus was confused. Sirius had been there for the party and the truth or dare game. It was literally his dorm and his friend group. He knew Lupin was distracting to him, but surely not that bloody distracting.
“I was there?”
Regulus nodded, “Yeah? at the party?”
“The party?” Maybe their mother caused Sirius to suffer memory loss.
“Yes. The party. The one where James under Veritaserum admitted he didn't love me?” Sirius startled at that.
“James? James Potter James? James who set up and elaborate four step plan to ask my blessing to date you James?”
James had what?
“That’s what I said” and holy shit Barty had actually shut up for long enough that Regulus had forgotten he was there, but Regulus was grateful for him, likely staying to make sure he and Sirius didn’t kill each other but giving them space to talk. He and Sirius’ relationship had improved greatly but they’d scarred both of their respective friend groups with the impressive fights they’ve had in the past.
“What the fuck happened Crouch?”
“Regulus here said that Potter was questioned under Veritaserum about his relationship status, and he said he ‘wasn’t in a happy relationship’. Reg has been upset ever since, and quite frankly i’d like to know what the fuck happened too, Potter follows Reg around like a lost puppy no way he’s faking all of that.”
Sirius let out a loud groan. “Fuck me. I always forget you don’t know.”
Know what? “What the fuck are you talking about Sirius?“
Sirius leaned over from where they were both still sat on the floor and grabbed Regulus’ shoulders “Listen to me Regulus. James loves you, and he’s not shit liar ,I know hard to believe, but he can lie when it counts.” When it counts what the fuck does that mean?
“Regulus listen to me okay? James loves you, would I lie to you?”
Regulus just looked at him. He couldn’t even count the number of times Sirius had lied to beat him to the shower at home or save himself when he steals Regulus’ clothes.
Sirius rolled his eyes “Okay fine would I lie to you about this? About something serious? I see how you look at him Reggie, I know how much this means to you.”
Regulus just shook his head. He and Sirius could be awful to each other but they definitely wouldn’t lie to each other about something like this.
Sirius smiled at him, “Okay! Just wait here. Don’t worry Reg everything will work out.” and with that he jumped up and ran out of the dorm not even bothering to shut their door on the way out.
Regulus just sighed and laid back down in the floor, Barty came to join him after shutting the door. “What the fuck was that about”.
Regulus sighed again “Fuck if I know.” He was just so frustrated by everything he felt like crying again.
He did trust Sirius. With his life. But when had anything ever worked out for him? He’d been waiting his entire relationship with James for this exact thing to happen. To find out it had all been a lie and James didn’t actually love him.
He thought he’d feel relief when it finally happened, but everything just hurt.
Tears started falling again, and Barty moved him back to his bed where they laid together for a while until Barty told him he needed to go meet Evan because they apparently had some sketchy meeting with a guy at the Hogs Head that they needed to sneak off to.
“You sure you don’t want me to stay with you?” Barty asked for the millionth time since he began getting up to get ready. “You know Ev won’t mind, i’m sure we can get the same deal some time in the next fifty years.”
Regulus just rolled his eyes, he didn’t really want to be alone but Barty had stayed with him the past two days, if he didn’t get out to cause some chaos soon who knows what would happen. “Yes, i’m fine, go do some illegal shit with Evan before you guys start lighting the dorm on fire again”.
“Oh Reg. We can absolutely still light the dorm on fire, you’re sure you’re fine though?”
“Fuck off Barty, yes i’m fine! Get out of my face, go commit a crime.”
“Aw. Love you too Reg” and Barty quickly moved to place a very loud kiss to his forehead.
“Fuck off!” he tried to smack Barty in the head, but the crazy motherfucker had already made a run for it.
“Bye Reg! See you later! Don’t do anything I wouldn't do!” and with that he ran out the door. Knowing him and Evan together they’re likely off to terrorize some criminal mastermind.
Now alone his mind was racing. Replaying that damned truth or dare game over and over.
No matter how many times he went over it in his head he couldn’t find any explanation other than James simply didn’t want to be with him anymore, or if he even ever had.
Then he decided to torture himself by providing examples of times James couldn’t possibly have been faking anything.
All their times in the astronomy tower under the stars together. The time they’d shared their first kiss together. The time James had nicked the shared vinyl player from the Gryffindor dorms and charmed lights to float around them while they slow danced in the low glow of the moon.
Fuck he was crying again.
It’s just everything and literally everything with James had been lovely. Even things that Regulus couldn’t stand from other people (like the sounds of James’ chewing, or when he bit his nails because he was anxious) were lovely to Regulus.
If it was all forced for Sirius’ sake…
Well it’d be better to push James away first, before James could let him down easy and break his heart.
He’d just have to keep refusing to meet James, find other ways to distract himself and fill his time, just long enough until James got the hint and moved on to someone else.
…
James with someone else was not a thought he wanted to have.
Ever.
The Library.
That’d help him both avoid James and keep busy so he wouldn’t be thinking about James or his stupid midnight dances and romantic picnics under the stars.
He grabbed all his stuff and made his way to the library from the dungeons.
He’d only made it about halfway when suddenly he was yanked into an empty classroom, automatically drawing his wand only to find it pointed at Remus Fucking Lupin.
“What the fuck Lupin?” He didn’t particularly hate Lupin, he also didn’t particularly like him mostly due to the fact that tall bastard is dating Sirius.
Lupin was standing casually against a corner with his arms lazily crossed, “Black.”
“What do you want Lupin?” How did his brother and his stupid friends always know how to find him? It’s like they had some sort of sixth sense for irritating the shit out of him.
Regulus just glared at Lupin awaiting an answer for why he’d been dragged into this unused classroom. Lupin just glanced lazily at his nails before slipping out his wand and casting a silencing charm as well as four other likely different types of privacy charms.
What the hell was all the secrecy about?
Dear Merlin not Sirius again please, Regulus was Sirius’ brother but even he could only take so much.
“Lupin if this is about my brother I swear to Merlin I-“
“I’m a werewolf you fucking prick”.
Regulus blinked. What? “You’re a what?”
“I’m .A. Werewolf”.
No he isn’t. “No you’re not.”
Remus gave him a look as if to say ‘really’ then began listing evidence on his fingers “Sirius, James, Peter and I all disappear on full moons, I somehow am always sick before a full, and then miraculously recovered a few days after, I know you’ve got chocolate hidden in one of your pockets because I can smell it” Remus then made a gesture to the scarring on his face “and look at my fucking face”
All four of them were sometimes suspiciously absent, and James had rescheduled a date a few times, had they all possibly been on full moons? Regulus did in fact have a piece of chocolate in his pocket he’d been saving for after his trip to the library, and Remus face was scarred, but, yeah… still not buying it.
“If it was a full moon, why would all four of you disappear, I know for a fact my brother’s not a werewolf, I know James isn’t one I would’ve seen a bite mark.”
Remus smirked at him. “I’m Moony” then again gestured to the scars on his face “Peter is Wormtail, Sirius is Padfoot, and James is Prongs.”
“Okay I know you all use those ridiculous nicknames but what does that have to do with you being a werewolf?”
Remus only stared blankly at him.
And then. No. “No.”
“Yes.”
They couldn’t possibly have become illegal animagi to go run around with a werewolf, it’s just, it’s too ridiculous even for them.
“James?”
Remus just nodded.
“My brother?”
“Yup” Remus said popping the p and the end and leaning back bored like he wasn’t doling out absolutely insane information.
What the fuck. “What the fuck.”
Remus was just stood there smirking at him.
“Okay so why are you telling me this? You could all end up in Azkaban, and your’e just giving this information up? You?” He knew Remus wasn’t his biggest fan, what with all the trouble he gave Sirius, Regulus would’ve expected the same from James if he and Sirius didn’t come attached at the fucking hip. “Why?”
“I owe it to him” Remus just shrugged.
“Who?”
“James.”
And .Well. Just fuck right off. “Fuck off”.
“No. Listen because you’re being stubborn and he deserves for you to know this, he wouldn’t tell you because he was protecting me, but you’re being a prick and he doesn’t deserve that so i’m going to tell you.”
Regulus tried to argue, whatever it was he didn’t want to hear it, but Remus just shot him a look and took before continuing, meeting Regulus straight in the eye, “I’m a werewolf. Sirius,James, and Peter, they figured it out during second year. By fifth year they’d worked out how to become animagi so they could be with me on fulls.” Remus smiled slightly, almost as if he was recalling something pleasant. “I was against it. Didn’t want them getting into trouble because as you said, they could end up in Azkaban.” He took a breath before continuing “Now I, as a werewolf, am immune to Veritaserum, put me under right now i’ll tell you straight to your face that we’re best mates, so I thought well I just give them something near impossible that I can already do so they couldn’t argue it. I told them ‘If you can deny that you’re animagi under Veritaserum then I’ll consider it’ and thought they’d be done with it.”
At this point in the explanation Regulus knows where it’s heading and is beginning to feel a little sick. “You didn’t just end up giving in out of the kindness of your heart did you?”
“No I fucking didn’t. Those bastards brewed their own Veritaserum and dosed themselves until they developed a tolerance high enough they could lie about anything”.
James Potter couldn’t lie to save his life, but he most definitely could to save someone else’s. He’d done it for Regulus after all, not even under implicitly life threatening circumstances.
Well. Fuck. “Fuck.”
“Yeah so you’re seeing how you’re being a prick now?”
Regulus wished the ground would swallowed him whole, “Why didn’t he just tell me?”
“Why didn’t he tell you he learned to fight off Veritasereum so he could go galavanting off in the woods as a stag with his unregistered werewolf best friend and his other two unregistered animagi best friends one of whom is your brother?” Remus just started at him like he’d asked why the sky was blue.
“Yeah okay I see why now”. There’s no way James Potter would have told him something like this, not only was he protecting his best friend, he would also never give up a secret that big that wasn’t his to tell. This being true however meant Regulus had fucked up. Fucked up badly, and needed to apologize. Immediately. “I have to go.”
“Thought you might say that. Try the astronomy tower, he’s been hanging up there when he’s not in the dorm” and just fucking stab Regulus next time it’d hurt less.
He was just about to walk out the door when “Oi and Regulus!”
“What.”
“That chocolate you’ve got, I want it.”
With a frustrated sigh he reached into his breast pocket and chucked the candy he’d stowed away from Honeydukes at Remus’ head.
The bastard just smoothly caught it “Ta. You’re welcome by the way!”
Regulus just flipped him off on his way out the door. No matted how helpful he might’ve been just now, he was still dating Sirius.
Regulus made his way up to the astronomy tower, and absolutely humiliatingly, ran through the halls to get there. He couldn’t bare the thought of James feeling guilty for something that he had no right to feel guilty for. Something that Regulus likely hurt him over. It needed to be rectified immediately.
As he made his way up the steps to the tower he’d almost hoped James wouldn’t be up there. What if he got up there said his piece and James wanted to stay broken up?
Were they even officially broken up? Merlin Regulus hoped not. ‘Fuck off I don’t want to see you’ wasn’t exactly ‘we’re broken up’. Just the thought of being broken up was enough to make him feel sick.
No they definitely weren’t broken up.
What if James wanted to break up with him? Oh fuck he was going to be sick, he absolutely did not want to get broken up with, especially at the fucking astronomy tower.
The thought of James being upset when he didn’t need to be is the only thing that kept his feet moving. As he finally made his way to the top he caught sight of James sitting over the edge with his feet dangling over. They’d met a million times up here, usually in the moonlight (though never under a full moon now that Regulus thinks about it) under the stars and James always looked beautiful then, but James looked extremely beautiful in the golden hour.
Regulus moved to stand beside James, who still hadn’t acknowledged that he was there.
“Jamie?”
“Reg.”
“Mind if I sit?” Regulus nodded to the empty spot beside James that he usually occupied during their time up here.
“It’s your spot.”
And dear Merlin and Morgana did that make his heart ache. They sat there in silence for a while watching the sun set while Regulus figured out what it was he wanted to say, he probably should’ve planned this out better before running over here.
He let a few more minutes pass before he finally worked up the courage, “I’m sorry.”
He heard James’ breath catch but continued on. “I talked to Remus he told me about everything, and i’m so sorry James.” he turned to look at James who was looking right back with tears in his eyes “I’m sorry it shouldn’t have taken Sirius meddling and Remus kidnapping me to see that James. I know you love me, and I love you too, and i’m so sorry I couldn’t see that. I love you so much, and i’ll keep telling you everyday if you’ll still have me?”
James smiled weakly at him “of course i’ll still have you Regulus” at the words he felt instant relief. James’ thumb caressed his cheek as he continued to speak, “I’m sorry for making you think anything less than me being absolutely in love with you, I know how it looked, i’m so sorry Regulus and-“
Regulus tried to cut him off and say he had nothing to be sorry for but James didn’t let him “Let me finish please.” Regulus nodded for him to continue “Thank you. I know what it looked like and i’m so sorry for that Regulus, I should have found at least some kind of explanation to give you.”
Regulus leaned into James’ touch and let out a big breath to prepare for what he’s about to tell James. He’d likely never admit this to anyone else.
“James?”
James sat up a little straighter and moved his hand to hold Regulus’ so they could talk properly.
“Yeah, Regulus?”
“I’m sorry that I didn’t listen to you before, and for telling you to fuck off, I should’ve listened to you. I was just scared”. He huffed out another breath and felt tears try to fall from his eyes.
“Oh, love don’t cry.” James moved to hold him into his chest and he took deep breaths trying to hold back his tears long enough so he could tell James what he wanted to say. James started to run fingers through his hair murmuring ‘it’s okay love’s’ until Regulus was calm enough to finish his explanation.
He sniffed before continuing “I thought-“ Fuck yeah he wouldn’t be able to get through this without crying “I knew- I know you love me James I do, but when I knew you’d been dosed with Veritaserum and you said you weren’t happy I panicked. I mean how bloody likely was it that you’d be immune to truth serum? Although why am I not surprised? You absolute wanker”.
He felt James chest shake slightly where he was pressed against it and James placed a kiss to the top of his head before he continued. “I just..” he let out a deep sigh, he really didn’t want to say this but he knew James needed to know, “to be honest i’d been expecting this to happen”.
He felt James hands still where they’d been running through his hair “You’ve been expecting me to make you think that I didn’t want to be with you via a Veritaserum truth or dare game?”
“Not exactly.” James was looking at him with his brows bunched together up over wire rimmed glasses.
“I’m not following love.”
“I…well..” Fucking hell this was so hard to say “I’ve been expecting you to want to leave me”.
He felt James tense as soon as the words left his mouth. “Regulus why would you be excepting me to leave you?”
“It’s what everyone does isn’t it?”
Shockingly James had tears starting to fall, he grabbed Regulus’ hand and pressed a firm kiss to it. “Regulus love I have no intention to ever leave you. Not now not ever.”
“Why are you crying” James shouldn’t be crying, Regulus hated when he cried.
James smiled at him but his till had tears in his eyes, “I love you Regulus. I want you to feel loved all the time. I don’t want you anticipating me leaving you, you deserve to just be loved without the fear of people leaving you.”
Oh.
Damn it, he’s crying again.
“You can’t just say shit like that James”.
James chuckled at him but pulled him back into his chest. “It’s alright love.”
Regulus sniffled and moved to kiss James’ neck “I love you too, you know”
“Yeah I know. I love you more though”
Regulus just snuggled closer to James, “Not bloody likely”.
They sat there until the sun fully set and the moon had reached its peak, and only then did they head back to Regulus’ dorm to fall asleep wrapped up together.
Regulus was rudely awoken from some of the best sleep he’d had in ages by Barty launching himself into his bed. He heard James let out a grunt beside him as he was caught in the crossfire.
“What the fuck Barty?”
“Morning Reggie!” Barty had a slightly manic grin has he laid across both him and a now very awake James. “Potter. See you two lovebirds have made up then?”
James wrapped his arms tighter around Regulus and narrowed his eyes at Barty. “Yes.”
Suddenly Barty’s eyes turned deadly “Hurt him again Potter and no one will find your body”.
Any sane person would’ve fled immediately getting threatened by Barty like that, but luckily for Regulus James was not. James just held Regulus even tighter and held Barty’s gaze as he nodded once.
Barty grinned and moved to patronizingly pat James cheek, “Good lad”.
James grip on Regulus certainly didn’t lessen, but Barry’s threatening aura seemed to be soothed.
Regulus just rolled his eyes. Barty and James didn’t get along per se but they seemed to have a mutual understanding to ‘protect his virtue’ or whatever the fuck they called it.
“So tell me why again Bartemius you’re sprawled over my bed at definitely too early in the morning?”
“Well Regulus have I got a surprise for you.” he booped Regulus’ nose, the bastard. It was too early for this.
James muttered under his breath “This should be good”
Barty obviously heard it as he was still obnoxiously sprawled over the both of them, “Got an issue with me surprising my best mate Potter?”
James got an angry gleam in his eye that Regulus was so unused to seeing from him, but one that Barty was so good at getting out of him. “Not at all, Crouch.”
“You fucking cunt”.
“Prick.”
“Bastard.”
“Wanker”
“Coward”.
Oh James wouldn’t like that.
Yep. James immediately sat up and got in Barty’s face, “Now listen here you absolutely piece of-“
Merlin they could go for hours if Regulus didn’t stop them.
He sat up and wrapped his arms around James’ neck and leaned into him “Okay enough you two it’s too early in the morning for you to go ripping each others faces off.
James tried to interrupt “But he called me a -“
Regulus just snuggled in closer to him before he could get started and ran his fingers over the nape of James’ curls who then rather predictably slumped against him.
And then Barty who never could keep his mouth shut said “I mean who picks truth for truth or dare honestly”
James tensed up again immediately and opened his mouth to speak, but Regulus interrupted him before he could. If James and Barty got into a proper row they’d be here all day. “Okay enough out of you two. Jamie you’re not a coward for picking truth, given the circumstances and having met Mary McDonald i’d say it’s actually quite brave of you. Barty why the fuck are you in my bed at Merlin knows what time in the morning?”
James looked smug, and Barty brightened seemingly remembering why he’d come to bother him at all. “Right. Well Regulus you absolute ray of sunshine, guess what surprise Ev and I have prepared for you.”
Regulus just blinked at him.
“Lovely guess, but no.” He very dramatically reached into his pocket of the pajamas he was wearing and pulled out a small vial of clear colorless liquid.
Dear Merlin.
“Barty please tell me that’s not what I think it is?”
If he never saw another vial of Veritaserum it’d be too soon.
“I could dear Regulus but that would be considered lying”.
He felt James tense next to him and he gave his most dramatic sigh, rubbing his temples. “Barty. Why do you have a vial of Veritaserum?”
“Because Reginald. We heard what loverboy here did-“ he shot James a dark look “Me and Ev decided we’d declare our undying love to you under the influence of some Ministry grade Veritaserum”.
James who had calmed slightly held Regulus tighter again.
Regulus groaned. “Barty. What the fuck are you talking about”.
“Aren’t you listening, Me, Ev.” He gestured to the bottle then towards Regulus. “Our undying love for each other.”
“Why would you let me question you under Veritaserum? I could ask you about the thing.”
“You swore you’d never ask me about the thing.”
“If you were under Veritaserum I would most definitely ask you about thing”.
“Regulus, I was doing this for you how could you even think to ask me about the thing”.
“It’s literally the perfect scenario to ask about the thing. How is dosing yourself with truth serum beneficial to me without asking about the thing?”
“Well like I said since truth picker over here” and again he gestured towards James “had you crying your eyes out, I thought if me and Ev could admit that we cared about you under truth serum it’d make you feel better.”
Regulus sighed again, Barty was insane, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t comforted by the thought. “Barty I appreciate you I do, but James is immune to truth serum, he really was just protecting me, so you can lay off him.”
James seemed uncomfortable about other people knowing but Barty really wouldn’t let it go if he thought Regulus had been hurt, and if Regulus told him to drop further questioning he would.
Barty seemed surprised and had opened his mouth likely to pester James about what that meant when a disheveled head of blonde hair peeked into his curtains, “You said he’s immune to Veritaserum? Does that include other truth serums or did he build up a tolerance to only the one?”
Regulus groaned again turning to push his face into James shoulder “Both of you now?”
James face scrunched up “There’s other kinds of truth serums?”
“Of course.” Evan moved to fully sit on his bed. Great. Both of them now, and something that would most definitely interest Evan, he could forget having his peaceful lie in. “Could we test out the effectiveness of your tolerance?”
James was most definitely nervous now, but there’s nothing that could be done now. He’d just have to let Barty and Evan have their way. He swallowed before asking “How exactly would you be testing it out?”
Evan shrugged “Give you a small dose asked you a few questions”.
James turned back to Regulus and gave him a small nod, he wouldn’t let them ask James anything he knew needed to stay secret.
James steeled himself then nodded, “Okay.”
Evan’s eyes brightened which wasn’t necessarily a great sign for James. “B, if you’ll give James two drops, just on his tongue.”
Barty nodded before shuffling closer toward James “Alright Jamsey open up.”
James tilted his head back and stuck his tongue out so Barty could use the stopper to place two drops of the serum on James’ tongue.
After dosing James, Barty moved back and handed the bottle to Evan whose face was getting even more excited. “Excellent thank you B, the effect should be immediate so we’ll start right away.” he had his eyes trained on James. “Can you tell us your name?”
“James Potter”.
“and how old are you?”
“Sixteen.”
Regulus smirked. James had turned seventeen last April.
“What Hogwarts house are you in?”
James who had now apparently decided it was easy enough to lie under the dosage he’d been given looked smug before answering, “Slytherin”.
Evan looked even more interested and Barty looked impressed.
“Who is your best friend?”
“Barty Crouch Jr.”
Barty scoffed at the answer but luckily they didn’t devolve into another argument.
“Do you need your glasses to see?”
“Nope.”
“Are you currently dating anyone?”
James who had seemed to be having fun proving he could lie so easily suddenly sobered. “I won’t lie for this one. Yes I am, I am very happily dating Regulus Black.” James looked so happy to be saying it, not at all like when he had struggled at the party. “And also for the record during the truth or dare game, that was the hardest time i’ve ever had lying under truth serum. I think it’s because I want to tell people so badly how much Regulus means to me. I was taking up to six drops at one point and that was still harder to do.”
Now having seen how easily James could lie under truth serum, the thought just made him smile. He pulled James’ hand up to his mouth to place a kiss to it.
He turned back to Barty and Evan who both looked smug before Evan continued his questioning. “What is your natural hair color?”
“Purple.”
Evan continued to ask him more questions each with increasingly ridiculous answers until he’d announced that the potions effectiveness had worn off.
They all stayed in his bed together while Evan asked a million questions about the process James went through to build up his tolerance, too interested in how James had done it to ask why he’d done it.
Evan likely would’ve kept James there all day, but James announced he was set to meet Marlene for a quidditch strategy meeting and he needed to go get ready.
“Not like it’s going to help anyway we’re still going to beat you.”
James chuckled at him “Well see about that.” and placed a kiss to Regulus cheek before “I’ll see you later Love.”
He hopped off the bed leaving Regulus feeling decidedly less comfortable than he had been before doing a mock bow towards Barty and Evan, “Bartemius. Evan lovely seeing you as always.” and with one more kiss to Regulus cheek he left their dorm.
Barty scrunched up his nose in disgust as he looked where James had just exited. “I always forget how gross you two are.”
Regulus just rolled his eyes, as if he hadn’t caught Barty and Evan full on snogging more times than he could count. “As if. You two are way worse than us”.
Barty mocked offense, “Evan and I are an adorable couple aren’t we Ev?”
Evan just nodded his head once.
Regulus snorted, “Sure adorable is exactly the word i’d use for what you two get up to.”
Barty winked at him.
“Thank you guys by the way.” He knew that they hadn’t really planned to dose themselves. It’s why Barty had bombarded him while James was in his bed.
Barty suddenly looked flustered, “No idea what you’re talking about Reg.”
Regulus just gave him a look, “You guys dosed him in front of me and had him lie on purpose to make me feel better.”
Evan spoke up for Barty who was still looking sheepish, “I really did want to test how high his tolerance was, but if it helped you feel better then that’s just a happy coincidence.”
“Right. I thought you didn’t believe in coincidences Ev.”
Evan coughed once “Yes.. well”.
Regulus just rolled his eyes. Barty had offered to ‘declare his undying love’ but getting thanked for his insane scheme to help Regulus feel better was too much. “Right okay well since i’m already up i’m off to go to the library.” He was actually planning to go meet Sirius, and only going this early to give them the dorm as a thank you (with the added benefit of harassing Sirius).
He very pointedly looked a them before heading to the shower, “Leave my bed before you do anything.”
Barty scoffed “Like we’d want to taint ourselves where you and the prat have been canoodling all night.”
“Fuck off Barty we were not canoodling”
“What do you call it then?” and Barty put on a falsely sweet voice “‘Bye Love see you later Love! Oh Jamie what ever will I do while you’re gone? Who will there be to keep me warm?”
Regulus could feel his face heating up and reached into the nearest bed to throw a pillow at Barty’s head, “Shut up Barty we do not sound like that.”
“Do to.”
“Do not.
“Do to. You-“
Evan placed a hand over Barty’s mouth, “I believe you have a transfiguration test to study for Regulus?”
Oh how nice of him to act concerned, he just wanted the dorm free. Regulus rolled his eyes “Whatever guys just don’t do anything gross on my bed.”
“No promises!” Barty called now free from Evan’s hand covering his mouth.
Regulus flipped them both off as he grabbed his stuff to go shower and get ready before meeting Sirius.
He made his was towards the Gryffindor portrait entrance where he muttered the password James had given him ‘for emergencies only, don’t tell the others I gave it you’ . The women in the portrait eyed him warily but allowed him to pass.
Upon entering he found Pettigrew playing chess with someone else he didn’t know the name of.
“Pettigrew.” He greeted.
“Black.” Pettigrew acknowledged him without looking up from the board.
“Is my brother in?”
“Yeah he’s upstairs, and Remus had a study group this morning so feel free to go on up.”
“Thank you.”
“Yeah, cheers mate”. Peter waved him off.
At least Pettigrew wouldn’t be snatching him into any abandoned classrooms or accosting him in random hallways.
He made his was up the stairs to the boy’s dorm he knew to belong to Sirius and James and snuck inside.
Predictably Sirius was still fast asleep, never one to get up early, so he snuck over to his brothers bed careful not to wake the utter oaf to early and grabbed a pillow from an adjacent bed on his way over.
He perched on the corner of his targets bed before smacking the pillow right down on Sirius’ face.
Sirius let out a gasp as he had just been rather violently woken up and immediately turned to look around the room.
“Reggie?”
“Sirius.”
Sirius reached and palmed his entire face before he smacked it away.
“Oh it is you.”
Why wouldn’t it be? “Yes it is really me.”
Sirius seemed to be more awake now and wacked him with the pillow. “What the fuck Regulus? Why would you wake me up like that? I could’ve killed you!”
Regulus grabbed the pillow back and hit Sirius again. “Not bloody likely.”
“Oh I so could take you”.
“You fucking wish”.
And then they’d somehow ended up on the floor again, in a position not at all disimilar to the one they’d found themselves in yesterday before Sirius broke first.
“How’d you even get in here anyway?”
Regulus just shrugged. “James gave me the password for emergencies, but i’m not supposed to tell you he told me, and Pettigrew was downstairs playing chess, he told me it was safe to come up.”
Sirius rolled his eyes “Right. For ‘emergencies’”.
Regulus smacked his arm again. “Yes for emergencies you wanker.” he crossed his arms defensively. “I have nightmares sometimes, James helps.”
Sirius just nodded. “Mm nightmares are a bitch. That’s acceptable then.” Sirius sat crossed legged and scooted to lean against his own bed. “So. Not that I don’t love you giving me a heart attack at-“ he stopped to cast a tempus charm “Jesus Christ Reg, eight o’clock in the bloody morning on a Sunday?” he shook his head again. “Yeah, not that I don’t love being accosted at the arse crack of dawn, but to what do I owe the pleasure of seeing my darling baby brother on this i’m assuming beautiful morning?”
Regulus moved to slump against the bed beside Sirius’. “What I can’t pay you a visit?”
Sirius snorted.
“What? What’s so surprising about that?”
Sirius shot him a look. “Regulus. In the entire time we’ve been together at Hogwarts when have you ever been up here this early in the morning for a casual visit?”
Regulus huffed. It’s not his fault their dorms are on opposite sides of the castle, and he gets cold easily and theres always a draft this early in the morning.
Sirius just smirked at him. “Right. So. What’s up?”
Regulus only crossed his arms and found a very interesting poster on the wall opposite to him. ‘A Night at the Opera’ which he knew to be one of both Sirius and James’ favorite albums. How fun.
“Regulus.”
He huffed. Fine. He came all this way mine as we’ll get it over with.
He cleared his throat. “Thank you.”
Sirius startled before putting on a blank face. “For what?”
Regulus only rolled his eyes. “I know you meddled Sirius. Lupin wouldn’t have come talk to me if you hadn’t asked him to.”
Sirius looked down in his lap smiling, “Oh but he did. I only went to him to help me come up with a believable excuse, it’s his decision who knows.”
“Right. Well i’m sure you brought it to his attention that it’d be beneficial for me to know.”
Sirius shrugged. “Honestly. He probably mostly did it for James, and for me. It’s a lot easier for both of us if you know, no offense.”
“None taken, doesn't really affect my life either way besides the occasional rescheduled date. At least now I know there’s always a valid excuse now.”
Sirius beamed at him.
Regulus rolled his eyes. He’d been living in the same castle with Lupin since his first year, and shared a house with him all of last summer. Why would learning the bloke is werewolf change anything when it hasn’t really affected him at all in the last six years?
“So..” Sirius shuffled his position again. “What’d you really come up here to tell me?”
Regulus immediately stilled. Of course Sirius knew that wouldn’t be all, why’d his brother have to know him so well. Bastard.
He cleared his through. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I came to thank you for Lupin.”
Sirius just stared him down.
He suddenly found the ceiling very interesting. Was that mahogany wood used for the bed frames?
“Regulus.”
Oh fine.
He coughed again. “I may or may not have thought -very briefly- that- it was very very brief- less than twelve hours I had this thought-“
“Regulus!”
“I may or may not have thought maybe Jameswasonlydatingmetoprotectyou.”
Sirius eyes widened. “Sorry. What?”
Merlin don’t make him say it again. “I thought James was only-“
“No it’s okay I got it the first time. But Regulus what the fuck?”
He felt his face get hot. “Well what was I supposed to think? He said he wasn’t happy in a relationship with me under Veritaserum, that was the only logical conclusion.”
“What about that is logical?”
“Oh because having a tolerance to truth serum in order to protect a werewolf makes so much sense.”
“Regulus.” Sirius snapped.
“To protect Lupin.” he winced. “Sorry”.
Sirius huffed. “I just don’t get how your brain got to James only dating you to protect me? How does that even make any sense?”
Honestly now. Saying it out loud it’d didn’t make any sense to Regulus either. “I don’t know. I just knew if we got outed and Mother reacted like-“ a raging maniac “like Mother you’d do something stupid to protect me and James wouldn’t let that happen.”
“But what does that have to do with you guys dating in the first place? If he was doing it only to protect me he wouldn’t have dated you at all?”
He felt his face heat down to his neck. Obviously it made sense now when he wasn’t completely distraught over the idea that the love of his life wasn’t in love with him and his brain was functioning properly. “Well obviously I can see that now”. He ran a hand through his hair “It’s just in the moment, I don’t know, James is your best friend, everyone always likes you better, everyone always loves being around you and I’m-“ a pathetic loner no one wants to stick around for “-me. No one ever wants to stay for me, Not even you -no offense- so I just spiraled I guess.”
Sirius had tears in his eyes when Regulus looked up at him. “Reggie” he sniffed “can I give you a hug?”
He just nodded. And if he quickly wiped away his own tears while Sirius hugged him, well no one else needs to know that.
“Christ Reggie how could you think that.” Sirius had moved back to his own bed. “I mean I know how you could think that” Yeah their fucked up childhood “But Reggie James loves you. I mean you should’ve seen him before you guys properly got together he was a total mess.”
“Was he really?”
“Yeah I mean he was stressed out because he didn’t think I would approve, and I mean why wouldn’t I? We were good by that point, but my God he wouldn’t shut up about you. Still doesn’t if i’m honest it’s always ‘Do you think Regs’ will like his gift? Did you see what Reg was wearing today? Did you know Reg likes muggle books?’”. Sirius scoffed. “Of course i’d know that i’m your fucking brother.”
He knew James was sappy. It was one of the things he loved about the older boy, but to hear about it from a trusted inside source was an entire other thing.
To know he was seemingly thinking about Regulus as much as Regulus thought of him. It made his heart swell.
A pillow smacked him in the face.
“Oi you fucker! Get that look off your face!”
A look? he didn’t have a look on his face. “I don’t have a look.”
“Yes you do! You look all” Sirius did a wiggling sensation with his fingers “in love” he then very dramatically gagged.
He felt his face get hot again. “I do not!”
“You do, it’s disgusting.” Sirius shivered again. “But it only proves my point. You’re disgustingly in love with James and James is -for whatever reason- disgustingly in love with you. He really did plan an elaborate scheme to ask my permission to date you, I didn’t make that up.”
Regulus although very endeared, would not let Sirius know that, he’d told too much today so he only rolled his eyes “not like he needed to ask your permission anyway I would’ve cracked him regardless.”
Sirius who had seemingly and endless supply of pillows threw another one at him “Yes he did you prick!”
He grabbed one of the pillows previously used as ammo and began pelting Sirius with it.
They devolved yet again into a wrestling match until they both ended up breathless on the ground. He caught his breath and turned to stare at the ceiling. Sirius lay in a similar position to him on the opposite side of the dorm. “Sirius?”
“Yeah, Reggie?”
“Thank you.”
“For what Reg?”
“For taking me in after I left, and letting me date your best friend.”
“Of course Reg. Sorry I left you the first time. Also did the record with or without James involved i’m not letting Mother get to either of us.”
He hummed in response, again nobody needs to know that he was wiping tears away.
They sat there for a while longer before he sat up. “Well. That was eventful. Tell anyone about today and i’ll kill you. I’m off to the library now. Do tell your groupies to try and not bother me today i’ve a transfiguration test to study for”.
“Mm yeah same to you. I’d better get ready before Remus is back anyway, we’re meant to sneak down to Honeydukes for a restock today.”
He got up to head towards the door when Sirius called after him “Bye Reggie love you! He stopped dead in his tracks refusing to turn back to look at Sirius. “Say it back you coward.”
He cleared his throat and still without turning to look at Sirius said “Bye, love you too.” and then immediately fled the dorm.
That was enough vulnerability with his brother for the next ten years.
He’d been in the library for the last three hours which were thankfully uninterrupted and was about to take his timed chocolate break when a head of unruly black hair made its way to his table.
“Hello Regulus. thought I might find you here.”
Regulus moved to make room for James. “How do you always find me anyway? And not just you, my brother too, and Lupin when he kidnapped me from the hallway.” he saw James tense in his chair where he’d just sat down.
No way. There actually was a way they were finding him?
“James?”
“Not now Regulus please? I’ve given away too much. You even told Pads I was the one who gave you the dorm password, don’t think he failed to mention that to me.” James laid head on the table and Regulus smiled at him before running a hand through his dark curls.
James hummed contentedly and he looked so lovely sitting there Regulus simply had to place a kiss to the top of his head.
“Reg?” He hadn’t stopped running a hand through James hair, but James had turned to face him.
“Hmm?”
“We’re in the library.”
“That we are Jamie.”
“Anyone could walk by and see us.”
“They could.”
“Then everyone would know about us.”
“They’ll probably find out soon enough anyway.”
James jumped up and stared at him. “Regulus. What exactly do you mean by that?”
“Well I wouldn’t exactly mind the general public finding out, if you still want to tell people that is.”
James beamed at him before gently grabbing both sides of his face and peering at him from above wire framed glasses. “You really mean that? You’re being serious?”
“Well i’m not Sirius but-“ he startled as James suddenly moved to kiss him.
It wasn't the smoothest kiss they shared, (James was very excited and he wiggled a lot when he was excited) but it was most definitely the longest kiss they’ve shared where people could potentially see them.
James stared at him with a slight flush. “You really want to tell people Love? I can start telling people your my boyfriend?!“
He was still slightly scared of the reactions they’d get, but seeing how happy James looked he knew he wouldn’t come to regret his decision. “Yes Jamie we can tell people.”
James smiled impossibly brighter and placed a quick kiss to his lips again. “Oh i’m so excited Love!” James took Regulus’ hand in his and placed a quick kiss to it before dropping them both back down to the table. “Can I ask what brought this on though. If you’re doing it for me I really don’t mind waiting longer. I’m pretty sure there’s nobody else in here so we can still hold off.” He hadn’t been planning to take it back, but the hopeful look on James’ face would’ve made it impossible.
To be honest he had been giving it a lot of thought after his talk with Sirius while he was meant to be studying (he was absolutely blaming James if he got anything less than an O). Between the fear of having potentially lost James, the reassurances he’d received from James in the dorms with Barty and Evan, and his talk with Sirius he’d decided there really wasn’t any point in hiding it anymore. He knew Sirius would be there for him if Mother decided to try anything, and James who had struggled the most with not telling people about them would most definitely support him through anything people had to say, so what was left holding him back? It made James happy even if he was still feeling nervous about it, and he’d be more than happy to claim James as his.
It’d be very helpful for them if James was able to follow his heart and pick dare for truth or dare games.
He smiled at the thought of getting to rub it in people’s faces that James was his before pulling their hands ti his mouth and placing a kiss to James’. “After the truth or dare game, the thought of losing you was horrible. I cried all night because I thought you don’t want to be with me.”
“I’m so sorry that happened love. You shouldn’t have been made to feel that way.” James face was pained.
He ran his free hand through James’ hair to comfort the taller boy, “I know Jamie, it’s not your fault. I just… if you could’ve picked ‘dare’ or even answered truthfully it could’ve saved both of us a lot of hurt.” He moved to play with the end pieces of James’ glasses “I also want to be able to eat with you in the great hall, and I love going to the astronomy tower with you -we’re absolutely still doing that by the way- but I want to go to Hogesmede with you and do all the other stuff other couples get to do. We’re eventually getting married anyway so Mother has to find out sooner or later then might as well get it over with. If Sirius gets to sneak off for a Honeydukes date then I should get to too.”
James beamed at him, so wide both his dimples were showing.
“What?”
James smile grew impossibly wider “Were getting married?”
Had he said that out loud? He hadn’t meant to say that out loud. He felt his face grow warm and rolled his eyes. “That’s what you got from all of that?”
James held his face again and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose, “Of course i’m doing the full Hogsmede couple tour with you, and next truth or dare game i’m absolutely snoggimg your face in in front of everyone. and-“ James pressed kisses all over his face “we’re getting married” one more final kiss to his lips. “We really get to tell people?”
Hopelessly endeared by James’ excitement he fondly rolled his yes, “Yes James we can tell people. Although I don’t really think it will come as much of a shock. Mary seemed more surprised than I did when you answered no in the truth or dare game.”
James groaned and leaned his head into Regulus shoulder, “No more ‘I said no’ during the truth or dare game it nearly killed me. I’m going to announce in the great hall during breakfast that I am very much in love with Regulus Black.”
Regulus began running his hands through James’ hair again “You’ll do no such thing.”
James snuggled in closer to his chest “I can and I will. I’d rather you’d be mad I declared my undying love for you than you think I didn’t love you.” he turned his head to peer up at Regulus, “I really am sorry about that Love.”
Regulus leaned down to place a kiss to James’ dark head of hair. He really wasn’t upset with James since he’d learned the truth, really shouldn’t have ever been upset at all, James had never given him any reason to doubt their relationship. “I’m not upset about it Jamie. It’s not your fault really, i’m glad you tried to protect me.” He placed another kiss to James’ head “I know it upsets you so I won’t keep bringing it up, but really James there’s nothing to forgive. I know you love me, and I love you too Jamie, so much.”
James turned to place a kiss to Regulus chest where his head rested. “I love you to Reg.”
They sat there until the library closed, content to just be in each others company.