The dusks of the evening blemished upon the cheeks of the sky, leaving dark reds blotting on light blues and vain yellows. The wind blew with an exquisite chill, delivering the sensation of cold wax hardening upon one’s skin. From a tall flat, a young man sat with half of his arm draped out of the window, and the other holding a cigarette.
Our precious young man is no other than the notorious Severus Snape. He sighed, and with hollow eyes continued to dote upon what he did not have. Or could not, due to his ignorant friends, as they called themselves. The very friends who had left promises of a job unsatisfied. The very friend who had not responded to any letter he had sent. The friends who had abandoned him. And now he sat alone, by the window of his cramped flat that he only had because of the inheritance his mother had left him.
This night stirs a remedy in our dear Severus, and he is quite calculated. He is very well aware of his circumstances. He is very well aware that he will not last much longer with what he has. He is well aware, that he must find a career, a job, if not in the wizarding world, then in the muggle one. It is not what he wants, but it has been two months since he has completed his education, and something must be done. He shall need to head out into the town the next morning, and perhaps begin to pay back the debt he owes his mother’s savings.
--
The town seemed to be glazing down upon Severus in the cold hours of late morning, he walked with a harsh stride. His intentions for the day were quite clear; to find work. And so far, he had found one place willing to take him. He was offered, rather begrudgingly, the job of the evening’s bartender five days a week at a rather sketchy bar, as he had observed. To celebrate, he headed out looking for more flyers declaring their need of workers. Each flyer he saw, he would write it in his pocketed notebook and then walk away before anyone even so glanced in his direction. He sometimes, late at night, wondered if anyone truly noticed him, or formed any opinion of him.
Currently he walked back to his flat. He rushed up the stairs of his building, and into his apartment. He immediately unbuttoned his coat and then his white shirt, then beginning to unbuckle his pants and set them loose. He leapt to his bed, letting his hunger for lunch drowse him into a half-sleep, and could not help but smile. He had landed his first job; however disdainful it might seem.
When Severus awoke, he lumped around in his flat. He poured himself a glass of water and took a sip. His earlier giddiness had faded, and he was now overcome by the realization that he was no longer useless and waiting, but rather with some purpose.
So, the evening darkened, and as he looked at his window, he could not help but think of the ghost of himself, droopily leaning over and wondering. He buttoned his shirt, slicked back his hair and rubbed his stubble before heading out the door and to perhaps a new beginning.
When he arrived at the bar, ‘Cristiano’s Nite Club’, as the sign-up front read, he awkwardly shuffled into the back of the club. An older man looked up at him, blinked, and then nodded at him. Severus noticed the man’s broad built and tattoos on his arms. The tattoos reminded him mildly of the ones his dad had, sleeved on his arms.
“You here to work?” The man said, and Snape recognized the Irish accent. It vaguely reminded him of his mother’s. He, more meekly than intended, nodded at the man. After the nod, the man stood up, stabilizing himself with his arms on both knees. Severus was pulled to help the man stand, and when he did, he aggressively patted Severus’s shoulder.
“I’m Oisin Crawford.” The man looked at him and extended his arm.
“I- I’m Severus Snape.” Severus replied, once again more meekly than he had intended. Then shook Oisin’s hand with what he hoped was a firm grip.
“Alright great, call me Oisin. Say, how old are you? You look a bit young.” Oisin asked.
“I’m eighteen, sir.” Severus answered, he was not being completely truthful. He was still seventeen, and in fact, there were still a good few months until he would turn eighteen. But he did not tell any of this to anyone, for fear that they would not employ him, and also because he did not find the topic to be quite that important.
“Don’t be scared son, there isn’t anything to be too worried about I don’t think. Here, I’ll get someone to have you set up for your first day.” Oisin patted his arm again before guiding him to the counter.
As they got out, Severus noticed there wasn’t much crowd, which relieved some of his fear. And he looked again toward Oisin, as he explained what his job would be. He was just going to work as a bartender, but Oisin was more warning about the type of people that came in and let him know of the ‘regular’ customers that came in. That day Severus worked a few hours, familiarizing himself with the regular workflow of the bar and how it worked.
That night Severus went home tired, but with a new passion driving him. He went home and fixed himself a plain meal, relishing it. He took a shower and cleaned his stubble before going to sleep, satisfied with the day’s events.
--
A few weeks had passed, and Severus had been working diligently. He had even found himself a day job at a local supermarket a few days a week. He was beginning to earn healthily, and soon his mother’s savings were put back where they belonged, untouched.
Oisin approached Severus regularly, asking him if he wanted to stay back for a drink or if he needed anything. He seemed to notice that Severus did not ever slack off at work, and how he never asked for more than what he was given. He recognized the honest work that Severus put in and begun to have some favor in him. And so, one particularly quiet evening, a conversation struck up between the two of them.
“Evening Severus, how’re you doing?” Oisin asked, and noticed that despite the lack of customers, Severus was still standing straight and focused, cleaning up the counters every now and then, and mopping the floors. His other employees did not bother to do much of it, and even fewer bothered to do a good job.
“I’m doing good sir, I just finished cleaning some of the shelves back there.” Severus replied.
“Thank you, do you want to take a break? There aren’t many people today.” Oisin asked, trying to continue the conversation.
“No, it’s alright, thank you though Oisin.” Severus replied again. He knew Oisin wanted to have a better conversation, but Severus found himself unable to generate any ideas or enthusiasm for casual conversation. And Severus had never known he possessed the politeness to refuse anything as an instinct
Nonetheless, Oisin gave him a tired smile and grabbed his arm, “Alright then, but if you want to then help yourself.” And then walked to the back of the club, taking a seat behind his desk.
Severus continued to look blankly at the counter in front of him, before hearing the door’s bell ring as someone walked in. He looked up, only to see a strange woman walk in. He had not seen her before in his few weeks of work. There had been almost no women, who came to this particular bar. It seemed to be more of a mancave. But as he glanced at the woman, he could not help but notice that she was uniquely pretty, with jet black hair cut perfectly straight to her shoulders and piercing dark eyes. She had a mole beside her upper lip, and another on the hood of her eyes. Severus lowered his gaze again and approached the cash register as she walked to it.
When Severus took her order, he also noticed her voice had a strangely water-like tone, as they seemed to ring his ears and pull him into some trance. She asked for a simple beer, which Severus was happy to provide. She took her beer and then sat at a corner table quietly. She stared blankly and also rather thoughtfully, while sipping her drink slowly. Her eyes had an almost ‘dead’ look and seemed to shine a bit. Severus felt some sympathy for her but did not dwell on it long.
Eventually, a few more men came in together. They ordered their regulars from their seats, yelling them to Severus. Severus gave a blank smile before beginning to prepare them alongside the other employee, Steven, who had just come into work. They worked quickly and then Steven took the drinks to the men’s table, which happened to be quite close to the woman’s, despite the entire seating area being mostly free. Severus took note of it but did not pay it much heed as he began to wipe down the counter and clean the few dishes and utensils.
Suddenly he began to notice a growth in the conversation in the small club, and that the group of men seemed to be increasing their efforts to converse with her. Despite this, it was very obvious that the woman had no interest in any form of participation with these men. Still, it did not seem to be any real threat that Severus could pin accusation for, and hence he continued to keep a glance on them every few seconds, while continuing his work.
After some time, Oisin came to the front counter. Perhaps he had noticed the growing noise, and he approached Severus.
Quietly, he asked Severus in his ear, “Is there any problem in the front?” with concern.
Severus whispered back, hoping to be subtle, “That group of men has been trying to talk to that woman. But nothing more has happened, so I haven’t approached.” He answered.
Oisin grumbled a bit, and gave Severus a small sneer, “Severus don’t act like you can’t see, they’re clearly harassing the woman. I know you can tell, so don’t stand for it, especially under my club.” He finished, with a firm tone as he began to approach the two parties.
Severus nodded toward him, feeling slightly ashamed. He watched as Oisin limped over to the group of men. He made some motion with his hands, but Severus did not hear many details of the conversation. The group of men roared in disagreement, but eventually left after a few more words. Severus felt ashamed even more, as all he had done was watch as the poor woman grew more and more uncomfortable. And he was not new to seeing this, he had seen it all his life with his mother. He had always been a mere bystander, and in this moment, he reprimanded himself for his cowardice. A strand of his hair fell to his face, but he slicked it back.
Immediately he went to where Oisin was standing. Oisin had taken a seat and seemed to now be having a brief conversation with the woman. The woman’s eyes seemed to be shining more, and her ever pale skin seemed to have a red tint of hurt and embarrassment. She was nodding to what Oisin was saying, and Severus took a closer look at Oisin. His expression seemed to hold such care, and the protectiveness of a father. And Severus began to view Oisin in a different light, as more than a manager, but rather a man who had suffered and lived, through and through.
There was something so personal in the tone of his voice, and the gentleness of his movements. Severus could see the father in Oisin shining, and he could not help but picture himself in a father role someday. A nerve in his heart began to ache. He had never considered that side of life. His own father had been not much more than either absent or constantly upset, and lashing it at his mother, who still fell by the charms of his voice, however many times he had hurt them. In truth, Severus had not expected to reflect upon his own life so much in a matter of a few hours. He felt his jaw ache as it pleaded to twitch, as his eyes dried, threatening to dampen. And this feeling perhaps had been so intensified because he knew that he himself, had never been much better than those men, or even his father, he too, had caused great pain. He too, had embarrassed people. He too, had manipulated the few women who had been by his side. He had been quite the villain, and it was beginning to tear him down, as he realized how little he had, now that he no longer had the power that he felt that he once did.
He took a rag and began to clean down the tables where the men had been sitting. He heard bits of the conversation that the woman, who he now learned was named Hana, and Oisin were having. Hana seemed to be comforted and cheered by Oisin’s talk and could tell that the conversation was coming to an end.
Eventually, he did finish cleaning and headed back to the counter. He put away his supplies and went to the back to wash his hands and rest his posture. His shift would be over soon, and it was a quiet evening, so he did not have much to worry about.
Soon enough, Oisin returned to the back of the club as well. He looked at Severus and approached him.
“Next time something like this happens, I want you to approach it. And if you’re not man enough to do it, then at least call me or someone else over to handle it.” Oisin said with gritted teeth.
All Severus could do was nod. But as he did so, he felt a dread in his stomach. His eyes began to feel wet, and his jaw shook.
Severus could no nothing but mutter, “I’m sorry, please excuse me.” as he looked at Oisin’s careful gaze and then headed toward the restroom. And from the blur of his eyes, he processed a simple softening of Oisin’s gaze, but he dared not look back.
He was quick to lock the door, and the minute he did, he felt as if he had lost control of himself. He shed many tears, and they did not seem to stop. His mind was beginning to ache. He felt as if he was confronting years of emotion and conflict all in that moment. He felt healed and torn, and ever so small. He had never yearned more for his mother’s presence than he did in that moment. He wished she were there for him to hide in. He wished that her arms would shield him from the hurt and choke he was feeling. He missed her scent, and the touch of her skin. He felt hollow and shallow, like a stick that could be knocked down by the slightest of winds.
After what felt like many minutes, he wiped his tears and looked himself in the mirror. His eyes were painfully red, but he gargled some water and washed his eyes. Admittedly, it did not make much difference. It was also beginning to occur to him that perhaps he was rather hypocritical, he did not feel as much sympathy as he did jealousy of the interaction between Oisin and Hana. And after practicing his voice a few times, he took a breath and exited the haven of the restroom. He looked around the back but did not see Oisin. He exited further, but noticed there were a few employees already at the counter, and understood that he was not needed, especially since there was little crowd. So, he took the broom and began to clean where he felt was necessary. His mind was in quite the fog, and he did not seem to have much consciousness of what he was doing. His shift was almost to come to an end, and Severus was more than eager to leave. He was packing his stuff up for the day and beginning to head for the door. As he did so, he noticed Oisin approaching near him. Severus attempted to avoid being seen, but it appeared that the deed had been done. Severus attempted to appear well-put, but just as he headed for the doorway to exit through the back, he stumbled on the sharp edge of the wall. And like that, he fell smack hard on his right knee.
It pounded hard and ringing blazed through his ears. He tried so very hard to appear carefree, yet the moan of pain he had automatically released said much otherwise. He helped himself onto the closest bench, and watched defeatedly as Oisin approached him. He had accepted it. And Oisin then sat right next to Severus on that bench against the wall. And a thought appeared in Severus’ head, would Oisin fire him?
But instead, Oisin asked, “You alright there Severus?”
Severus nodded curtly, not sure if he should speak.
“Look at me. You’ve been working for me for almost a month and a half. I know something’s up with you.” Oisin said plainly. Strangely, he did not seem to be particularly accusing, but rather possessed a resigned demeanor, signifying that Oisin could see almost right through him. Truly though, Severus had expected him to say almost anything but that. Surely, Oisin could not know anything about him? Afterall, Severus had not given him much reason to think anything was amiss with his.
“What do you mean..sir?” Severus asked, and the only thing he could think of that Oisin would be concerned with was his age. He had still not turned eighteen. And Oisin did not know this. Severus’s short-thought plan had been that he would work here, and when he did turn eighteen, then it would be no big deal.
“You’re young, but you work here. You work here five days a week. And you stay overtime when it’s busy, even if I don’t ask. When I gave you the job, you said you were eighteen. But now I want some proper ID. I need to know who you are.” Oisin told him. Did he think Severus was some kind of criminal (though technically he had been working illegally)?
Severus felt his voice choke up, and he nodded meekly. “Alright, is there any particular reason though?”
“There was a report in the news the other day, description of a runaway fraud. Description’s similar to you and the circumstances I hired you under, so I need some proof of ID before some police bust in here suspecting you. And after today, I need to know if I can trust you. I need it tomorrow when you come in, Severus.” Oisin flatly told him once more, and with a hopeful look, as if he were expecting disappointment. This look pierced Severus, and he understood that Oisin had too, understood that he did have past.
With that, Severus gave Oisin a nod and headed towards the door. He tried his best to not limp, in attempt to hide his foolishness. But that too did not last long, as he almost caught himself from tripping on the door. And with an embarrassed blush, Severus headed home. He did not know what he would do. And he surely did not want to be fired from this job. It had proven to be a place of solace for him thus far.