your ocean eyes

James had always believed in the creatures of the deep, in the tall tales parents tell to their children about singing sirens and sunken ships. The first time his mother, a chef on the very ship he captains now, had told him of the beautiful beasts, he'd declared proudly that he would be the first to ever capture one.

"Oh, my darling." Effie had laughed, patting her son's head with all the gentleness of a mother. "I'm sure you will be."

In all his years, only two people ever truly believed in his conviction. His mother, and Sirius Black, a pirate washed up on the shores of Spain wearing nothing but an assortment of silver jewels and shells braided into his hair not able to speak a lick of English.

James had spent months teaching Sirius to speak, and the first thing he'd said made the strange boy become the closest thing James would ever have to calling a brother.

"They're real."

"Something's in the net!" A gravelly voice calls from the eastern side of the boat, followed by the pained grunts of at least four men.

"All men!" James yells over the wheel. "To the east!"

Usually, Sirius is the first one to the nets when it's called, but today, he'd been banished to the coop for starting a fight. When James looks up to the boy with a bright grin, he's surprised to see him leaning over the edge, staring into the water with a look of horror on his face.

We have one.

A monstrous beast pulled from the depths of the sea, a siren hellbent on destroying every ship and vessel that crosses the deep ocean as if it has any claim to it. James has been chasing this dream since he was only four years old.

To be the first to ever capture and kill a mermaid.

Every crew member on the ship gathers around the thick rope slowly reeling in. James quickly jumps down from the banister and lands with a thunk on the deck, bending his knees to take the impact and drawing his blade as he stands.

Finally, the captured creature is pulled overboard and lands in a flopping mess of water and scales that glint and shift colors in the light. Harsh clicking sounds come from under the ropes, a hand as pale as Venice sand shoots through an opening in the net. Sharp nails claw into the boat and drag three inch deep gouges across the surface of the wood as the creature lifts itself up to stare at James.

He'd thought he'd be prepared for this moment. He'd trained his whole life and searched across the seven seas for only a glimpse at one of these things, but as James looks into sea blue eyes filled with tears, surrounded by towering men with powerful swords- all he feels is... pity.

"Oh, Jamie." Effie's voice tuts at him in the back of his mind. "You feel things so many only wish they could. Your kind heart is what makes me so confident you'll make the finest captain the seas have ever seen."

"Enough!" James stomps his boot on the wood and the men circling the chittering creature hesitate, blades drawn and scowls permanent, but they know better than to disobey an order. "Nobody moves."

He bears his blade to the creature, despite the fear radiating off of every sharp angle of the- man? it looks almost like a man- it makes a guttural sound in the back of its throat like a cross between a chitter and a growl.

A pair of boots thump loudly against the deck, only one person has ever been brave enough to defy James when he's said something.

Sirius pushes his way through the crowd of men crowding the animal before dropping to his knees and frantically pulling at the rope. Panic rises in James's chest when he realizes that Sirius is trying to freethe monster.

"Sirius." James scolds, taking three quick steps closer, pausing when his best friend looks up at him with eyes filled to the brim with rage and tears.

"I love you, James." Sirius says intensely, hands still working over the net quickly. "But if you take another fucking step, I'll kill you."

Betrayal curls its gnarled fingers around the panic already settled in James's chest, not once in the seven years they've known each other has Sirius ever spoken to him like that. Like any good friends they've fought before, over women, men, who gets the last jelly tart, but they've never truly fought.

He's always been all bark, no bite, which is where he got the nick name 'Padfoot'.

This feels like all bite. Sirius won't hesitate to follow through on his promise to murder James right where he stands, the conviction tangible enough in his ocean-colored eyes that it's almost touchable.

The siren chitters again, softer this time and Sirius's jaw ticks before his mouth opens and he's chittering back, an almost perfect mimic of the beast.

James doesn't even have time to process this because Sirius has the net thrown off the creature only a few seconds later.

"Sirius." James repeats. "What are you-"

"Just-" Sirius groans when the siren chitters questioningly, its shoulders still shaking and its eyes still wide with fear- unmoving despite its newly freed state. "Just- I can't let you hurt him."

The creature chitters again, more insistent this time and Sirius says something in that same dolphin sounding language back. Sea blue eyes go round as dinner plates before his body is moving faster than James's eyes can keep up and its slamming into Sirius.

"Pads!" James takes another step forward, intent on protecting his friend only to see the creature burrow its face in Sirius's chest and attempt to drag its shimmering black tail under the shadowed protection of the man's legs.

"I won't let you hurt my little brother, James." Sirius declares, determination shining in his eyes as his chin tips up in a challenge. "I won't."

----

"I'm sorry, James." Sirius repeats for probably the thirtieth time, sounding no less sincere than the first time he'd said it. "I'm so sorry."

The siren sits in a salt water filled porcelain bathtub, flicking his translucent greyish-black fin spilling out of the tub in what James is deciding to take as annoyance.

An hour ago, he'd had almost no care in the world, his best friend was not a traitor, his life's dream was only minutes away from being obtained and the salty sea air was flowing through his hair. Now, he's stuck pacing the cramped area of his captain's quarters with a mermaid in his bathtub and said mermaid is his best friend's brother.

Somehow.

They haven't gotten to that part yet.

"You didn't tell me." James reiterates for the thirtieth time, getting incrementally more frustrated. "What am I supposed to do right now, Sirius? I've got at least forty men outside my door raging for answers, thirsty for blood and you're fucking sorry?"

He kicks the trash can next to his desk when his boot catches on it, he doesn't mean for it to bounce so close to Sirius and luckily it bounces off the ground just shy of his feet.

The mermaid hisses loudly and grips the sides of the bathtub with clawed fingers, leaning forward to bare two rows of shark-like teeth at James.

"No." It says, voice shaky yet almost definitely male. "No."

"It speaks English?" James asks Sirius incredulously, and gets a twin set of bared teeth in response though these are more human adjacent.

"He's not an it." Sirius growls lowly, then turns to his mermaid brother to communicate something in a much kinder tone, getting an indignant response back. "And no, he heard you say that earlier to Peter when he tried to follow us in here. He's just smart."

James wants to pull his hair out and scream, the longer he sits here and has this conversation, the more frustrated he gets.

"James." Sirius says softly, leaning forward and spearing his hands out. "I know this is... I know it's a lot, but I'm asking you to trust me."

He stares Sirius down while he thinks it over, even though they both know James is going to concede and allow Sirius to explain. That's just how they are. Sirius would never ask James to trust him if it wasn't 100% safe to do so, and James wouldn't ever choose to betray his friend.

"I trust you." He sighs, sinking onto the edge of his messy bed.

"Thank you." Sirius says, heartfelt with raw emotion swimming in his eyes.

"Does he have a name?" James doesn't even really believe he's inquiring after the name of a monster he's dedicated his life to hunting.

"Uh..." Sirius glances to the siren and clicks his tongue twice, the half fish in the tub rolls his eyes and clicks something back. "Yeah."

Sirius doesn't elaborate, so James gives him a blank look filled to the brim with exasperation. Sometimes, Sirius Black is incapable of understanding the implied question, only answering the one directly asked to him. Most of the time James just laughs it off as the other boy being a ditz, or him not having a complete grasp on English quite yet, but right now Sirius has pushed his patience about as far as it can go.

The mermaid clicks impatiently, flicking his tail in definite annoyance and it's like a lightbulb flickers to life above Sirius's head.

"Oh! Oh." He smiles sheepishly. "It's Regulus. His name is Regulus."

James glances to the beast, to Regulus, and thinks a very powerful fuck you to the universe. The very star this fish is named after is the name of his ship, The Lions Heart, of course he'd have this luck. He's probably the only man in the world to name his ship after the thing in the world he hates the most.

"Funny right?" Sirius says nervously. "It's why I- it's why I liked your ship so much."

"I'm not laughing." James snaps, curling his back to drop his head into his hands, rubbing his fingers over his face in exasperation. "I mean, fucking hell Pads, how could you not tell me any of this? I've recounted my dream of slaying these- these creatures for years and you just- you told me you believed in me. Why?"

Sirius swallows harshly, his pale hands tangling together in front of his knees. He looks guilty, and James thinks he should. He'd believed with his entire heart that no matter who was against him, no matter who called his dreams childish, Sirius was always going to stand beside him. Sirius was going to be there by his side to help him and believe with him until they either fulfilled their dreams or died trying.

Now, Sirius is- James doesn't even know what Sirius is. He walks on two legs and speaks their language, but he's related to a siren and also speaks in clicks and chitters like a fucking fish. 

James thought he knew everything there was to know about Sirius, he'd bared his own soul to the other boy, under the assumption that the sentiment was returned in full. It's terrifying to think that the boy he'd given every piece of himself to had only given slivers to him.

Truly, he's more upset that Sirius thought he'd needed to hide this side of himself from James than he is over the situation being what it is. He doesn't understand how it's so well known that he'd place his life in Sirius's hands, that he trusts the man with every fiber of his being and yet Sirius thought he'd had to hide. He'd lied to James; he'd promised they'd tell each other everything, they'd have no secrets between them, and then he'd kept a secret big enough to ruin them.

He's doing his best to not let this ruin them.

"I was scared." Sirius whispers. "I was so scared, James."

"Of me?" James's voice cracks when he asks, he can't imagine every being something Sirius has to fear. 

"Yeah." He says even quieter, a tear slipping down his pale cheek slowly. "I was so scared that you'd- that you'd hate me. That you'd say I was... I was some kind of monster."

"Sirius-"

"Don't tell me you wouldn't." Sirius says louder now, his bottom lip still trembles but his eyes blaze with belief. "You've spent every year I've known you hunting down my species to- to murder just so that you can- I don't even know! What were you going to do after you'd killed one, James? And how could I ever live with myself- how could I ever think you'd let me live if you knew that I'm- I'm-"

His voice breaks and then stops, chest heaving and shoulders hitching with silent sobs. Regulus makes a cooing noise in the back of his throat, sitting up as best he can in the tub to click his teeth at his brother with drawn up eyebrows and an empathetic frown tugging at his pink lips. Sirius sniffles and wipes his wet eyes before sending a shaky smile Regulus's direction, he clacks his teeth together once and clicks his tongue twice.

Regulus looks hesitant but he leans back in the tub before cutting a sharp gaze to James. 

"No." He says sharply, clearer this time and with the confidence of someone who's learned that the word means something.

They sit in near silence for a long time. Only the sound of water dripping from Regulus's tail onto the floor and the soft hitches of Sirius's breath puncturing the quiet air as James turns over every word his best friend just spoke, trying to cut through the fog of his own emotions to imagine how alone Sirius must have felt all these years.

James might have been lied to for seven years, but Sirius has lived the last seven years in constant fear of losing the first person in this world to show him any kindness. Not only the fear of losing him, but also of him wanting to kill Sirius for who he is, used to be. The thought of that stabs a sword straight through James's heart, Sirius has lived every second terrified of James turning on him just to fulfil some stupid childhood dream.

He has to be the worst best friend in history to have allowed his other half to think that he'd ever hurt Sirius for something that trivial. Yes, James slaved and worked harder than anyone else for this, but it all fades to the background in the face of Sirius's pain.

What were you going to do after you killed one, James?

He doesn't know. He'd been so focused on doing it that there hadn't been an after, there was only searching, pillaging, trying. There wasn't a plan for after, no one to sell the body to, no scientist to give the scales to. 

"Nothing-" James's voice break and he swallows against the lump in his throat. "Nothing could ever matter more to me than you. Not who you were born from, not some stupid dream, not even the last jelly tart."

Sirius chuckles brokenly and rubs his arm with a sniffle. James means every word he says, Sirius has stood by him through every change of the seasons, through every starving winter and every boiling summer where fresh water was scarce, and food was even scarcer. Every hardship James has ever been through, Sirius was right there going through it with him. He's fully prepared to give up his dream in search of a new one for that man, and he always was.

That won't ever change.

"I need you to know that I-" Sirius bites his lip and looks away. "I did believe in you, and if you'd pulled up any other naiad, I would've handed you the blade to kill them myself, but I- he's my baby brother. He's my baby brother and I heard him crying- he was crying for help, James. I couldn't let you do it."

He's crying again, looking at Regulus who tilts his head back at his brother without a clue in the world how much Sirius risked to saved him. It's beautiful, James thinks, how much Sirius cares about the younger boy, enough to throw himself in front of James's blade without a moment of hesitation.

"It's okay, Pads." James says softly. "It's okay."

Sirius closes his eyes, allowing relieved tears to slip from his eyes freely as James looks at Regulus. The mermaid- naiad, Sirius had said- has relaxed into the tub as best he can with half of his body spilling over the porcelain edge. The ends of his tail brush the floor with every tilt of the ship, and even in the dim light the scales on his tail shimmers like obsidian in the moonlight, his eyes a blue so sharp that it seems to pierce through James's soul.

Objectively, the top half of Regulus's body is beautiful. His torso is long and thin with a wide chest and a small waist built for cutting through currents strong enough to drown even blue whales, his skin is pale, his hair is pitch black and falls down his shoulders in drying waves. If anyone else were to lay their eyes on Regulus, the breath would be stolen from their lungs and the strength in their knees would simply disappear. Everything about him is stunning, even the way he tilts his head at James from side to side as if he's sizing up just how easy it would be to rip his throat from his body.

A knock on the door pulls James from his musings and sets panic blazing through Sirius's body, forcing the man to his feet.

"It's just me." A lilting Welsh accent calls from the other side of the door before it's pushed open slowly, then shut with a soft click after the man ducks in. "Oh. Shit, Peter wasn't fucking with me."

"Remus." Sirius breathes, his heart clearly bouncing around his chest, trying to decide what to address first. "I can explain."

"I don't need it." Remus waves his hand around lazily, letting it settle back by his side, his white shirt hangs open to expose the tapestry of scars he'd won from surviving fighting for his life more times than anyone could ever comprehend. "That's quite interesting- I assume the claws are a predatory thing, yes? For grabbing prey?"

He takes lengthy strides to stand in front of Regulus's tub, raising an eyebrow when the naiad hisses in response. Sirius clicks at his brother and rushes to stand next to Remus, carefully coaxing Regulus back to his relaxed state to keep him from lashing out at the tall and probably terrifying man standing above him.

"Uh- yes, yeah." Sirius says once Regulus is settled again. "Yeah, they're kind of like a fishhook, I guess. W- They use them to puncture fins and drag the fish in."

He makes a hooking motion with his finger, then pulls it close to his face in demonstration. Regulus watches him do this with questioning eyes, snatching out his hand to grab Sirius's and brings the hand to his face to sniff at his fingers. His eyebrows pull together and his lip curls, tilting his face up to Sirius with offended question marks written all over his face before chittering something that makes Sirius's whole face light with embarrassment.

"And that?" James beats Remus to the question. "What the fuck was that?"

"He thought I was trying to catch something." Sirius's cheeks blaze.

"And what did he say to you after?" Remus asks, mossy eyes glancing over Regulus's flicking tail with an intense kind of focus. "The chittering."

"He called me an idiot." Sirius admits, allowing Regulus to look over his fingers carefully. "For cutting my nails."

"Wait- do you grow claws too?" James asks, feeling like he would have noticed that if it happened.

"Not anymore."

Regulus chitters again, adding a few clacks of his teeth and an almost whistling sound before tapping Sirius's wrist twice. Sirius makes similar sounds back before bending down and bumping his forehead to his brothers leaned back skull gently. It's a strange way to communicate, and James doesn't speak whatever language they're conversing in but somehow, he knows Regulus just told Sirius something sweet.

Something just for them, not to be shared with the others in the room.

Sirius kisses his little brothers head softly, and Remus reaches out a finger to swipe along Regulus's tail. In half a second the air shifts from sweet and calm to violent, Regulus's claws snap out and dig into Remus's wrist firmly enough to force red liquid to drip into the bath water. James shoots to his feet at the movement and pulls his blade from its sheath, prepared to slice the naiad's hand clean off if he doesn't let go quickly.

"No." Regulus growls loudly. "No."

"Regulus!" Sirius panics, clicking his tongue frantically and reaching out to pry Regulus's fingers out of Remus's arm. "Shit- shit, Moony, I'm so sorry- he doesn't know you're just curious- we don't- you can't just touch his tail- he's- God, you're lucky he only scratched you."

Remus tilts his head and examines the crescent shaped wounds in his arm, unbothered by the prick of pain. He's suffered far worse, they all know, the pain he's been forced to endure leaving him almost immune to anything that isn't immediately life threatening. He hadn't even really flinched when Regulus's hand wrapped around his wrist, and he doesn't flinch now when he pokes at the torn skin.

"James." Regulus's voice cracks over the new word, his eyes boring into James, then glancing down to the knife clutched tightly in his hands. "No."

He feels his teeth squeak with how violently he grinds them together, but one glance to Sirius's pleading face and he slides the blade back into its sheath. He's angry he's been demoted to taking orders from a fish, but he's grateful for the way Regulus settles back into the tub.

The naiad brings his bloodied hand to his face and sniffs it carefully, Remus's gaze snaps up to stare intently. He's always been so curious about how things work, determined to devourer every ounce of knowledge there is. Regulus's tongue darts out to catch a drop of blood off of his middle finger, then promptly sticks it back out with a disgusted look on his face, plunging his hand into the water to cleanse it of the nasty liquid.

James can't help the laugh that bubble out of his chest, feeling as though justice had been served. Sirius is the second to dissolve into a fit of laughter, bending at the waist to drop his head onto Regulus's curls with shaking shoulders.

"Awe, do I taste bad?" Remus grins, kneeling by the tub, wounded wrist forgotten in the face of new knowledge. "Sorry about that."

Regulus clicks his teeth angrily and Sirius laughs harder, gripping the edge of the tub tightly.

"Moony!" He gasps. "Moony, he said you taste like a jellyfish!"

Remus's grin broadens even wider as Regulus's eyebrows dip down in confusion. Suddenly, James feels bad for laughing at the other boy, he'd only done what his instincts told him to and now he's forced to sit surrounded by people he doesn't know, being laughed at. 

The thought makes James's smile slip off his face, Regulus was ripped from his home and shoved into what's essentially a small crate, he's been threated, touched, gawked at, yelled at, he's probably starving, and he's definitely confused. Not only is everyone talking a language he doesn't understand, but a brother he hasn't seen in at least seven years stands before him as a completely different species- laughing at him.

Regulus turns flicks his eyes back to James, and it's then that the guilt buries itself into his heart. His eyes shine with terror.

Nothing in his face would suggest he's scared, but his shoulders are pulled up tightly, his tail keeps shifting uncomfortably and his eyes glint with barely concealed fear. He can't imagine what this feels like, tries to, thinks what he would feel if someone dragged him to an unknown land and then laugh at him when he lashes out to protect himself.

"Hey- uh." James clears his throat. "Should we- should we give him a little space?"

Twin looks of confused amusement turn in his direction, and he feels the need to defend his decision.

"I just mean like, if he's going to scratch at people." He crosses his arms defensively. "We probably shouldn't stand so close- or we should teach him some more words, so he can- stop looking at me like that."

Both of the boys had gone from confused to this knowing look, soft exasperation hovering at the edges of their faces. He knows they both think he's too soft, too gentle, but he just thinks that if they're going to start treating mermaids like people, then they should start treating Regulus like a person and not some fun little science experiment.

"Okay, Prongs." Sirius says fondly. "We can teach him some new words- but I promise you, no is going to be his favorite."

----

James can feel piercing blue eyes on him. 

His back is turned, and the lights are all blown out, yet somehow, he can tell Regulus is staring at him intently. They'd spent hours teaching him new words, a few key phrases and changing out the bloodied water for fresh salt water. He's exhausted, but all he can think about is those fucking eyes trailing over the expanse of his back, feeling it like fingers sliding up and down the fabric of his pajama shirt.

James throws the blanket off his body and lights a match, setting the wick of his bedside candle ablaze, illuminating enough of the room for them to see each other.

"What?" He asks the other boy. "What do you want?"

"James?" Regulus says with a tilt of his head. "Help? James help?"

James sighs and rubs his forehead; they'd only made so much progress in the limited time they'd had, with Sirius translating key phrases and them repeating the words in English until he'd figured out how to pronounce it. Single words seemed to be easier for now, which he strings together to form childlike sentences that require an intelligent mind and an excessive amount of patience that James simply isn't equipped with.

Regulus huffs like he's annoyed, but the way his eyes dance around the room makes the older boy think it's directed more towards himself than James. He makes a series of chittering noises before waving his arms around in the air then bringing them back down to rub at his arms as if attempting to warm himself up.

"James help." He repeats, more firmly this time like if James doesn't get the hint already, he's going to lose it.

"Yeah, yeah." James rolls his eyes and pushes himself off the bed in search of an extra blanket, when he unearths one from under the frame of his bed he pauses in front of the bathtub. "Cold."

Regulus tilts his head and clicks his tongue impatiently; a sound James imagines is him saying 'what?' in an annoyed and prissy tone. He isn't sure why the Regulus in his head sounds so prissy, in all actuality he's got a very beautiful voice. Soft like summer rain and as smooth as honey.

"Cold." James repeats, mimicking Regulus's earlier miming of the word. "It's called cold."

"Cold." The naiad says back, twisting to lean on the side of the tub with his arms hanging out and his chin on the edge, looking up at James with curious eyes. "James help, cold."

"Yeah, you got it." He grins, holding out the blanket to Regulus, who stares between the fabric and James like the other boy is an idiot. "What? You're cold right?"

"James." Regulus says, somehow already managing to convey his exasperation, he reaches out to touch the fabric but doesn't take it. "Cold?"

"What- no, that's not- ugh." He lowers his arm and pinches the bridge of his nose, exhaustion from the day fogging his mind and making it almost impossible to find the patience it takes to figure out what Regulus could possibly want. "This is not cold. Blanket."

He holds up the blanket and gestures to it. "Blanket."

"Blanket." Regulus blinks, eyes blank. "Blanket cold?"

"What? I am so confused right now." He groans loudly, he just wants to go back to sleep, but instead he's playing guess the sentence with a fucking fish. "No, the blanket isn't cold."

Regulus huffs and dips his head to push it into the edge of the tub with a strangled growl. James is glad to know he's not the only one frustrated with this conversation, though the annoyance in his chest peaks because how the fuck is he supposed to know what Regulus wants.

"James." Regulus says softly, reaching out to touch the blanket with gentle fingers. "Blanket?"

He touches the center of his head and clicks his tongue, then touches the blanket again. It dawns on James that Regulus has spent his whole life underwater, he has no idea what a blanket is or what he's supposed to do with it. Then it dawns on James that that's exactly what Regulus was asking.

"Oh." He chuckles, feeling a bit dumb now that he gets it. "Blanket. Like this."

He unfolds it with a quick shaking motion and opens it wide, walking towards Regulus to throw it over him, stopping when he hears a loud series of frantic chittering followed by two large splashes. James lowers the blanket and holds out his hand towards the clearly panicked boy, he remembers the noise Sirius made earlier, when Regulus dug his claws into Remus's arm and attempts it. A sharp whistle accompanied by two clicks of his togue has Regulus's body freezing in the tub, so he does it again.

He does it three more times as he lowers the blanket over Regulus's body, adjusting the bottom part to cover his whole tail and tucking it under as carefully as he can without actually touching the other boy.

"Better- uh, good?" James asks, getting a stunned look back.

"G-Good." He confirms, clears his throat. "Thanks James."

The older boy gives Regulus a thumbs up and blows the candle out before crawling back into his bed with a groan, closing his eyes and finally not feeling the weight of ocean eyes ghosting over his body.