FROSTBITE -- CHAPTER 6
The rest of the day I spend in the Lodge's library working on the reading list, I wanted to finish it. That was when it happened a burst of emotion abruptly shot through my bond with Lissa. It caught me unaware and gave me no chance to fight it. It was like being knocked over by a hurricane-force wind, and suddenly, I was no longer looking at the book in front of me. I was inside Lissa, experiencing her world firsthand. And that was where things got awkward. Lissa was with Christian, and things were getting hot. They were kissing on her bed, in our room, and I was grateful to know that so I would not walk into something awkward, but now I needed to get out.
Christian was kissing her, and wow, was it a kiss. He wasn't messing around. It was the kind of kiss that small children shouldn't be able to see. Hell, it was the kind of kiss no one should be able to see. Her emotions were so strong I had trouble getting out. I needed to get out. I did not want to see this. Christian's face was open and tender as he regarded Lissa, his blue eyes aglow with some inner emotion. He clearly worshipped her. When he started trailing his hand from her face to her silky shirt, I jerked out of her head forcefully and slammed my head against the bookshelf behind me. Oww, twice in one day. First in the front then in the back. My head hurt, and I scowled at nothing in particular. I grabbed the book and started reading. But after reading the same sentence for the millionth time, I slammed the book shut. What the hell am I going to do now? I packed up my books and then went to the Gym. There, I did the weights and training that Dimitri showed me. I couldn't concentrate on my homework, and Lissa's emotions were -- wow. I was taking out all my frustrations on the workout equipment, and when they moved it towards the bathroom I decided that I could go back to my room and get into my bed now. I was tired and not in the mood to talk about whatever had just transpired.
On the 21st I had to meet Dimitri at the Gym for our morning practice, but I got up an hour earlier to go jogging. Christian was still in Lissa's bed but this time they were fully clothed. Shuddering at the thoughts popping into my head from last night, I stretched and started running before I met Dimitri in the gym. He had a stake, and he wanted to practice with it. Dimitri was hard on me this lesson, the rationale part of my mind knew he was worried about me fighting more Strigoi, and kept hammering on I needed to learn control, and some shit which was rich coming from him. I was pmsy sue me and he was pissing me off.
I already killed 9 Strigoi. I was not an idiot. "Would you stop!" I yelled at him frustrated and pissed off. "You go on and on about control, but that is rich coming from you, because you are always fighting for control. You are the same as me." I told him, scowling.
"No," I learned my control. "No, you haven't. You put on a good face, and most of the time you do stay in control. But sometimes you can't. And sometimes . . ." I leaned forward, lowering my voice. "Sometimes you don't want to." It was mean, I know, but I could not help myself. He had been avoiding me since we had sex, and now he was forced to train me before I got killed. Arthur requested me personally, and that was a great honor. There was nothing he could do to stop me from coming, and that scared him.
"Rose . . ." I could see his labored breathing, and I knew his heart was beating as quickly as mine. And he wasn't pulling away. I knew this was wrong- knew all the logical reasons for us staying apart. But right then, I didn't care. I didn't want to control myself, and I wanted him to realize that even though we had sex actually, especially because we had sex, he was not allowed to ignore me. Before he realized what was happening, I kissed him. Our lips met, and when I felt him kiss me back, I knew I was right. He pressed himself closer, trapping me between him and the wall. He kept holding my hand, but his other one snaked behind my head, sliding into my hair. The kiss was filled with so much intensity, it held anger, passion, release . . . He was the one who broke it. He jerked away from me and took several steps back, looking shaken. "Do not do that again," he said stiffly. "Don't kiss me back then," I retorted. He stared at me for what seemed like forever. "I just want to teach you control, to stay alive, to be better. . ."
"You're doing a great job," I said bitterly because I knew he was going to go back to ignoring me again. He closed his eyes and muttered something in Russian. Rude, but I had to keep my face blank. Rose did not know Russian, but I sure as hell did. Without another glance at me, he turned and left the room.