Pining
Harry was sitting in defense against the dark arts. Ron was besides him staring longingly at Hermione. Harry didn’t understand how they could be so oblivious to each others feelings.
Professor Umbridge was droning on and Harry could hardly focus on a normal basis. His eyes drifted to Draco. He was sitting there with his lip jutted out slightly. His hair fell slightly into his eyes and he readjusted to move it aside. His slim fingers fell to his tie to tighten it. Harry’s breath was nearly gone.
Draco was writing something. He folded the paper neatly and blew it out of his hands. It fluttered over to Harry, just as the time he did that in 3rd year.
Harry expected a pun or some sort of insult, but instead the perfectly neat handwriting wrote,
Meet me after class, astronomy tower.
Harry’s stomach flipped. His hands were nearly shaking now as he closed the paper and glanced back to Draco. This time the boy was staring back. A stare Harry couldn’t quite read.
Draco looked back to Umbridge and that was that. Ron looked over at the paper and opened it to read. He hadn’t seen who gave it to him, so he looked at Harry knowingly.
“Who’s the lucky girl mate?”
Harry’s jaw tightened but before he could come up with a response, they were released for lunch.
“So Harry, care to tell your best mates who this mystery girl of yours is?”
“Harry’s going out with someone?”
Hermione did the thing where she glanced at Ron and got stuck staring at him. He avoided her eyes entirely while still bumping her shoulder as they walked.
“Yep, saw the note myself. They’re meeting at the astronomy tower right now.”
“Harry! Why didn’t you tell us?”
“Er.. it’s private.”
She snorted and Ron clapped him on the back.
“As if we don’t already know everything about you. For heavens sake I’ve seen you-“
“Ok Hermione, no need for graphics yeah?”
She simply rolled her eyes and smirked. Ron finally met her eyes and pink creeped up his neck. She didn’t seem to notice but Harry could barely stand watching them.
“I’m off to the astronomy tower, grab me something will you?”
“Sure, mate.”
“Cheers.”
Harry swiftly made his way up the steps. Thank gods for quidditch otherwise he would’ve barely made it past the first story of stairs. When he reached the top he carefully opened the door.
Draco was standing there. His back faced Harry. His hair was tousled in the back but still sat as neat as ever. His dress shirt hugging his back in a way that made Harry lose his breath once more. Harry could almost back out the dips in Draco’s skin.
“You going to say hello or continue to admire my back?”
Harry stiffened and his face felt hot. How did Draco always know when he was near. He cleared his throat and approached the boy.
“I wasn’t admiring it.”
“Whatever you say, Potter.”
“So, why am I here.”
“Ah, see I recall you following me.”
“Excuse me? You asked me to come here, look I have the note.”
“Hmm, that’s strange. I don’t remember writing this.”
Harry huffed out a breath, then to his surprise, he laughed. Draco spun around to stare at him. His eyebrows furrowed and lip jutting out. Harry couldn’t contain himself and continued to laugh.
Draco’s face softened just the slightest and lifted his hand to cover his face. Harry was delighted and finally calmed down. He couldn’t suppress his smile though, and Draco looked at him in a way Harry had hardly seen before.
“Look at us arguing like we are 8 years old.”
Draco finally let his smile spread and shook his head.
“Honestly Potter you would think you were an 8 year old at times.”
Harry glanced at the boy longer for now. His tense shoulders had dropped slightly, relaxing. His face was softer. Harry had never seen Draco like this. He had only ever received sneers and jars from this boy. Harry liked this new expression. It suited Draco much more.
“No, really. Why did you ask me to come here.”
Draco sighed and his features tightened once more. But not before Harry had burned it into his memory.
“Ok.”
“Ok?”
“Ok, I want you to help me.”
Harry’s eyebrows shot up. Draco was agreeing to let Harry help him.
“You want me to get you out?”
Draco’s face twisted up again. The only thing Harry could decipher was pain. Draco’s voice dropped and he could barely hear when Draco croaked out a response.
“Yes, gods please.”
Harry hadn’t realized how terrified Draco was. He didn’t know why he yearned to touch the boy. To give him some sort of comfort. Harry hated when people even looked towards him with pity but what was Harry supposed to do?
Reluctantly he took a step towards Draco. His hand reached out to the boy and Draco didn’t step away. His face broke and he collided with Harry. Harry was wrapping his arms around him and for the first time, it felt entirely right.
“I’ll get you out Draco, I promise.”
-
Draco was walking back to his dorms. He was still high on adrenaline from asking Harry to help him. He decided he would write to his mother, telling her he would be staying at Hogwarts for Christmas. That way he would have enough time to plan with Harry on how to get her safe before his actions consequences were placed onto her.
He couldn’t believe he was doing this. He had never been courageous or even remotely close to it. But, Harry gave him hope that maybe he could be.
He felt someone wrap their arm around his waist.
“Pansy, if you keep this up people will think we’re together.”
She giggled and interlinked their arms. They walked side by side for a little before Draco noticed the drawings on Pansy’s arms.
“Woah, Pansy who drew those?”
“Hm? Oh these. Daphne.”
Draco gave her a knowing look.
“Shut up.”
“Ah, so I’m correct then?”
Pansy rolled her eyes and shoved him slightly.
“I’ll be at your quidditch game next weekend, but not for you, hun.”
“Hm, seems like you’re preparing to be a perfect wife.”
“Oh of course. Since that is truly my only duty.”
They both laughed and Draco felt happy for the first time in months.
“Pansy. I asked him. I told him I wanted him to get me out.”
“Draco.. thank gods. You wouldn’t survive a day in war.”
He knew she was trying to keep the mood lighthearted but it dropped nonetheless.
“I’m scared for my mum. I- I can’t let her die.”
Pansy nodded and the usual fire lit up in her eyes.
“We won’t. Potter will save her, he is the wizarding worlds hero after all.”
Draco nodded, but a hole that had been opened in his stomach deepened.
They reached the common room to find Blaise sitting on the couch chatting with Greg.
“Took you two long enough, where have you been off to?”
Pansy glanced to Draco, a question in her eyes. She was asking when he would tell them.
Blaise was safe from the war, Ms. Zabini had personally informed the dark lord she would not stand in his way, but would under no circumstances join the deatheaters due to her grief and inability to fight. He had respected it. But Greg on the other hand, he was to get the mark around the same time as Draco.
Suddenly panic rose in his throat. Would Greg tell the dark lord of Draco’s plans?
Draco shook his head slightly and she sighed then sat across from the boys. Draco joined besides her.
“We stopped by the kitchens, barely had anything to eat at dinner.”
They seemed to accept this and continued their conversation.
“Oi, Draco are you going to bring anyone to hogsmeade this weekend?”
His heart stuttered. Blaise asked him every time. He knew he ought to, but he shook his head and glanced to Pansy.
“I’ll be fine, I have Pansy.”
She winced and stared up at him apologetically.
“Sorry, I said I’d go with Daphne.”
Draco couldn’t be angry, she had been obsessed with Daphne for the past 6 months and they were finally getting closer.
He turned to Greg.
“Are you going with someone?”
Greg shook his head and grinned.
“I just need to grab something from that Weasley store.”
Draco nodded and turned back to Blaise.
“I’ll be fine with Greg. You’re going with Luna yeah?”
He nodded and got that same look in his eyes whenever he spoke of her.
-
Harry was speaking to the twins in their shop when he spotted a familiar blonde boy. He said goodbye to them and sauntered over to where Draco was standing alone by the door.
“You going to look around or just wish death upon every Gryffindor you see?”
Draco looked startled then turned to Harry.
“Hmm well I’m definitely wishing it upon a certain brown haired boy with glasses.”
“I’m flattered you’re thinking of me.”
Draco rolled his eyes but Harry saw the playful smile slipping across his lips.
“Draco, I found it let’s go.”
Greg was suddenly besides him and glanced between the two.
“Oh ok, Broomsticks?”
Harry looked between the boys. They were here alone, together. Something clicked and Harry felt his familiar anger rise.
“I wouldn’t want to keep you.”
The words came out harsh and Draco’s eyes brows furrowed in confusion. The boy next to him just looked annoyed by Harry and tugged on Draco’s hand to lead them out of the store.
Harry wanted to punch someone. Ron found him and dragged him to broomsticks and Harry saw them again. He was nearly bursting with anger when they returned to hogwarts.
Hermione had noticed and gave him nervous glances every once in awhile which only angered him more. Ron tried to ignore it, but it was hard to keep conversation going when Harry was barely responding.
Once in the mess hall, Harry had entirely lost his appetite and ignored the food Hermione had piled onto his plate. Instead he turned to glance at Draco, who too was ignoring his food.
Harry grabbed a loaf of bread and added peanut butter and jelly. Harry had always loved them. He wrapped it in a napkin and shoved it into his pocket.
After dinner, Harry had calmed down slightly.
“So, when are we going to meet your mystery girl?”
Harry groaned.
“Not this again.”
Ron perked up and ruffled up his hair.
“I’ll figure it out eventually. Just you wait.”
Hermione scoffed.
“If anyone is going to figure it out, it’ll be me. And when I do I won’t even tell you Ronald.”
Ron fake grabbed his heart and dramatically cried into Harry’s shoulder.
They all laughed and Harry shoved Ron off.
“Shite, I forgot my pen in potions, I’ll meet you in the common room.”
They nodded and walked off, bumping shoulders once more.
Harry was swiftly walking to the slytherins dorms. He didn’t know why, but his gut was telling him to go. That he would see a certain blonde haired boy before a password was necessary.
To Harry’s surprise, Draco walked right in front of him, clearly not noticing him, and into a cupboard. Harry assumed it was some sort of secret room, but his heart dropped.
He couldn’t go into a cupboard. Not yet.
Harry walked towards it, careful to avoid glancing at the door for too long.
Harry knocked. He knocked so loud it echoed back at him.
Draco appeared and looked towards him shocked.
“Er.. Hi.”
“Hello.”
There was an awkward moment of silence.
“You look like an idiot, come.”
Harry wanted to so badly, but his feet wouldn’t move any closer to the cupboard.
“Potter?”
“I-I can’t go in there.”
Draco rolled his eyes.
“Always the princess treatment with you. Alright what is it?”
“Er.. follow me.”
Harry led draco to a separate corridor where students hardly ever passed through.
“Better.”
“What is it Potter?”
Harry hadn’t known what he came here to say. He had just wanted to see Draco. His eyes fell to the boys face, scanning it. There were soft freckles across his nose. His eyes glancing towards him through his pale eyelashes. The sea blue that swirled around in his iris. The pink in his lips highlighted by the pale tone of his skin. Draco shifted and Harry realized how obvious his staring was.
“I got you a sandwich.”
Draco’s eyes widened.
“You.. what?”
Harry handed the napkin to him.
“You didn’t eat at dinner.”
“Oh.”
Draco looked up at him and smirked.
“What’s this really about.”
Harry said the first thing that came to mind.
“During Christmas. I- we need to plan for a lot of things.”
Draco’s smile hollowed and his face returned to its serious structure.
“Ok.”
Harry’s heart was pounding and he kept tripping over his words.
“So, I think it- well I’m sure- I just- it would be probably better if- well, we slept in the same dorm.”
Draco’s jaw dropped. He quickly recovered and nodded.
“Of course.”
They stared for a moment longer, then Harry nodded.
“Good, I’ll be off to my dorm now.”
Draco nodded. Harry turned to leave but a hand was on his shoulder.
Draco’s arms held half of his sandwhich towards Harry.
“You haven’t eaten either. Here we’ll share.”
The two sat down and Harry took a bite. He watched curiously as Draco tried the sandwhich.
“Bit bland.”
Harry rolled his eyes.
“And you say I require princess treatment.”
They finished their halves and Harry watched as Draco licked his fingers. His tongue sweeping across them, Harry looked away, breathing hard.
-
Draco glanced at Harry. He was looking away at some stone.
“That stone seems intriguing.”
“I’d rather look towards it than at you.”
Draco knew that was a lie, he had been catching the boy staring at him quite often actually.
“Hm, doesn’t seem to be the case usually.”
Harry’s neck creeped pink and Draco smirked. He had succeeded in making Harry flustered.
“Potter, as much as this fine dining has been enjoyable, I’m not going to receive a detention because of missing curfew just to hangout with you.”
Harry nodded and stood up quickly. He bolted off and Draco carefully watched him leave. This was something at least. Harry was finally speaking to him, as if they were even friends.
It was all Draco had wanted since he was at least 9 years old and finding out the famous Harry Potter was in his year. He smiled to himself. This was good. He had given himself something good. Harry had been right when he spoke of Draco digging his own hole of pain. He decided it would be best to write to his mother now.
Dear Mum,
I will not be returning home for Christmas this year, unfortunately I have found I’ve fallen behind in my studies and I would hate to allow anything damage my grades further. I hope you can understand, I miss you terribly and will write often during the holiday.
Sincerely, Draco
He sent it that evening and hurried to tell Pansy.