Chapter 3
The early morning air swirls around his body, the coolness contrasting with the hot dry air. James breathes in as it does, relishing in the difference in air quality of crowded London.
He always takes morning runs and was more than happy to take one in the new scenery. Early morning Black birds sing their songs in harmony with rattling cicadas. A small squirrel scampers across the grass path, there is a tree nut hanging from its mouth.
He returns to an empty cabin, one bed still messy; an air of sleep dancing around it. The other is tightly made and shows no signs of life. Where did Regulus go? James can’t think of where he would have gone, it is still only half passed six, most cabins are still sitting in silence as the dwellers don’t have a thought of rising.
James gets changed; jorts that fall just above his knee and a flannel rolled up to his elbows with two buttons carefully undone. Not that he is trying to attract the eyes of one specific person in particular or anything, no.
He walks into the large mess hall expecting emptiness but sees two figures sitting near each other. Minerva and Regulus are sat drinking tea speaking calmly.
“Ah, James, lovely, come sit!” Minnie’s voice echoes through the hall. James takes a seat next to Regulus and Minnie hands him a cup of tea.
“Thank you.” He takes it and sends a smile to Regulus when their eyes meet, his expression remains the same. His eyes shine as parcels of sunlight fight their way through the windows.
“Please, continue, Reggie-baby.” James’ eyebrows shoot up at the name as he looks to Regulus in amusement, getting met with an eye roll. But James can’t help but notice a small smile playing on his lips. James tries to remind himself it is most likely directed at the nickname, not him. But a boy can wish.
“Well, I was in Italy and working on a report I got to do, it was on the statue Rape of Proserpina. I was visiting the Galleria Borghese.” Regulus continued discussing his project for school.
“Awe, I remember little Regulus coming to me so happy because he got to see his favourite sculpture in Italy, it was that one correct?” Minerva interrupts, Regulus’ cheeks turn a light shade of pink and he nods.
“Yes, umm, I was given the oppurtunity to write a paper on the significance that sculpture had on its time. The details and accuracy of the human body were so extreme it caused waves.” Regulus continues talking about the importance of the sculpture. But James finds it hard to pay attention to his words when all he can see is pure joy in Reg’s eyes as he speaks of his passion. Most people may pass art as nothing more than a hobby, but to watch someone’s eyes while the speak of pure beauty, is worth more than any Di Vinci.
James has never cared much for art, he has been to a few museums and enjoyed a number of works of art, but as he watches Regulus he finds himself feeling more love for art.
“James? Are you listening?” Regulus’ voice being directed at him snaps James from his thoughts.
“I’m sorry, what were you saying?” Well, now he feels bad. And Regulus’ frown doesn’t help.
“You went to the Louvre for the first time this winter with Sirius, correct?” James nods, Sirius made it his mission to take him when he learned James had never been. The trip had been filled with stories of him and Regulus going all the time as children. Apparently, Regulus had always spent the longest in front of The Raft of The Medusa, and James had been able to witness it. It is a beautiful painting, but horrifyingly lifelike. James was unable to stare at it for too long, excusing himself to look at the Marie Antoinette rooms, sad that the French treated the woman so terribly and now profit from her. The painting is large and depicts piles of men dead, dying, and fighting. Not one for the weak, but James can understand a young Regulus’ obsession with it.
“What was your favourite piece?” Minerva speaks up, oh so she was the one speaking to him.
“Umm, I really liked Marquise de Pompadour.” Regulus laughs at his pronunciation but nods. The story of her is what most stood out to him. She was a loyal friend and advisor of Louis XV till his death, yeah she was a mistress but he chose to ignore that.
“That’s a lovely one.” Reg notes.
“And you?” James smiles, Regulus looks at him like he knows James knows. But James truthfully just wants to hear him speak about it.
“Really?” Regulus asks annoyed.
“Yes, tell me all about it! You’re an art history major, tell me about the history.”
“Fine, since I was a kid it was The Raft of The Medusa.” James nods to urge him on. “It depicts the aftermath of a famous French shipwreck, The Medusa. It still remains one of the most infamous marine disasters in history, and the painting itself is more famous. It is controversial because it was quite critical of the French monarchy. Since the raft carried many people and sunk do to neglect and human error. Many critics were horrified by the painting and King Louis XVIII said the painter, Géricault, had ‘brought his downfall on himself’. I just think the critics and King were upset because of its criticism of the monarchy and its treatment of the French people. Géricault was committed to depict the gruesome nature of the wreck and human suffering.” Regulus rattles of fact as if he were reading from a book, which he has probably read books and articles about the work.
All James can do is smile and Minnie nods her head.
“I’ve always wanted to visit but have so much work to do here. Me and Poppy want to visit Paris this winter.”
“So hows the wife?” Regulus smirks and Minnie blushes like a teenager.
“She is well, still in bed. She doesnt have much to do till the kids get here, but she will be training you guys the best she can with first aid later. Regulus, don’t grimace like that you can handle a few scraps and cuts.” Minnie says and Regulus shakes his head.
“Nope, I’ll be sending them all to James over here.” He points to James.
“Yup, and you get my insomniacs.”
“Regulus is an expert in those. Always came to me crying. What! Don’t make that face, you were such a cute little child. Always tearful and fretting about something. So thoughtful, would be so upset when the other kids would terrorize a cat.” Minnie laughs as she reminisces.
“I simply didn’t want the to hurt them.” Regulus frowns and takes a drink.
“I could always find you surrounded by one kitty or more, do they still love you?”
“Yup, one slept in his bed last night.” James chimes in.
“Regulus! They aren’t supposed to sleep in the beds!” Minnie heckles him.
“I know, I know. But they are just so cute, and when they get comfortable I can’t disturb them. I can’t!”
“Whatever, just don’t come crying to me when there are ten kitties sleeping in your bed at night.”
“Oh trust me I won’t.” Regulus looks like that may just be his dream.
“Got room for us!” James hears Marlene yell, she is followed closely by Lily, Pandora, and a frowning Dorcas.
“What’s up your ass?” Regulus whispers to her, elbowing her in the side.
“Nothing.” She murmurs, sitting next to him still sulking.
“Mhm.”
“How did you girls sleep?”
“Lovely, the beds for counsellors are much nicer than for the campers.” Lily says.
“Yeah, but the kids don’t complain much. Most of them are so tired by the end of the day the pass out when their heads hit the pillow.” Minnie laughs.
“Hi!” Mary walks in with Poppy, drawing out the last vowel.
“Good morning, loves.” Minnie smiles as Poppy bends down to greet her properly and sit beside her wife.
They all breakout into separate conversations and James and Regulus sit there observing.
“You know you sleep like a maniac, right?” Regulus leans over to him.
“What?” James giggles, why is he giggling? He is a grown man.
“I woke up in the night and looked over and saw you fully spread out; limbs handing off the sides and sheet tangles at your legs. It took a lot of strength not to laugh and wake you up.” Regulus is now smiling. Please never stop smiling. Please, please, please.
“And you snore. Not super loud, but still constantly there.”
“I think you’re just nitpicking.” James laughs and Regulus joins him. The both shake their heads.
“No, constructive criticism.”
“Whatever, Reggie baby.” James earns a glare for the nickname.
“Whatever, Jamie.” Oh, oh fuck. James is fully aware the nickname is supposed to be an insult or annoying, but he would sell the world to hear that name come from Regulus’ mouth again. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothin, Reggie baby. Just thinking,”
“Penny for your thoughts?”
“No, my thoughts are worth more than that. At Least a dime.” Regulus shakes his head but smiles.
“I doubt that, but here.” He hands James a dime.
“I was thinking about how much I liked it when you said my name.” James whispers in Reg’s ear and feels him tense up.
“You’re right, that wasn’t worth a dime.” He takes back the coin from James’ hand and joins Lily and Mary’s conversation.
“You are so daft.” Pete says as he sits down.
“What?”
“He was flirting and you go and scare him away like that.” He wasn’t flirting, right? No, he was teasing there is a difference, right?
“No, he was just, umm, well, he wasn’t.” James mutters and Pete starts laughing his ass off. “Shut up.”
“You’re funnier than you give yourself credit for.” Pete says, laughter coming to an end.
“Whatever.”
“ Oh, Reggie baby.” Pete says in a high voice followed by a bunch of very obnoxious kissy noises.
“Shut up.”
“ Will you be by boyfriend forever and ever.”
“Shut up.”
“ I promise to love you forever, you’re my perfect other half. ”
“Shut up!” James yells a bit too loudly and some people look at him, one of them being Reg who cocks his head in confusion and amusement at James’ outburst. “Sorry.”
“Have you tried just like talking to him.” Pete whispers.
“One, we aren’t supposed to have relationships with other councillors unless they are pre established. And two, he does not feel the same way. Why don’t you believe me.”
“Because I have eyes, moron. Whatever it’s you who is doing all the unrequited pining, not me.” Pete says and stands up to get changed out of him pajamas. Most of the people around him are still in pajamas, James is the only one who changed other than Poppy.
“Alright, all of you shoo, go get dressed and meet back here in 45 minutes when your dressed and ready. Regulus stop giving me that face you’ll survive, go!” Poppy says standing up. Poppy had been spending the last ten minutes hounding Reg about his health and is clearly now satisfied for she is sending everyone off.
“It’ll be hot so don’t forget water!” Minnie announces and everyone groans.
“You two are horrifyingly perfect for each other.” Marlene whines and everyone laughs going to their cabins.
“Ready for a fun filled day‽” James asks Regulus when they step away; earning just an eyeroll and the finger. “That’s the spirit!”
-
The day goes on and they soon find themselves exhausted sitting around a fire.
“I’m so excited for the kids to come tomorrow!” Pandora shouts excitedly. She is sitting in Dorcas’ lap as Cas is practicing her French braid. Regulus sighs inwardly, he learned how to do a bunch of types of braids as a kid for Sirius and he will probably have to use that skill a lot these next weeks.
“What cuss words should we teach them?” Evan asks and Dora slaps him upside the head.
“No! They are children and you are supposed to be a good influence!”
“They should learn! It’s useful!” Rosie argues back, the twins start bickering and the rest of them do nothing but watch and laugh.
“Kids, kids, don’t be ugly. Cmon put your moral differences aside for awhile.” Barty pulls Evan back and wraps his arms around his chest.
“Whatever.” They both mutter.
“Hey, guys!” Lily walks up.
“Hey, flower. Wanna join?” Regulus says as he makes space for her to sit.
They became friends in the beginning of first semester. They both had a 20th century literature class and became close fast. Regulus truly loves her, she is the kindest woman you will ever meet but also so quick witted with her insults.
“Lily!” Pandora perks up with a smile on her face, oh.
“Hi, Panda. I’m so ready for the kids to come. Regulus wanna braid my hair? Thanks, anyways we got the best age group too.” Lily says as she sits in between Regs legs. Regulus sees James look over to him out of the corner of his eyes but doesn’t pay it much mind.
That man does not know what he is doing to Regulus when he looks at him.
“What age group are you and Potter again?” Lily says bringing him back.
“Umm seven and eight.”
“Mmm, you get the little ones.”
“I remember my first year here, awe Regs you were adorable. Big sad eyes, messy curls, and so many freckles. And so small oh my god. Not much has changed.” Barty smirks and leans closer to Regulus just to be pushed away.
“Whatever, you were loud and all the councillors hated you because you taught everyone how to set things on fire with two rocks,” Regulus replies.
“Yeah, imagine how surprised they were when we became friends.” Barty and are both smile fondly at the old memories. Regulus is excited to hopefully give more kids memories like that.
“He was an absurdly adorable little kid, have you seen his toddler and baby pictures. Lord, I pray that my kids will look like that.” Sirius walks past them and join the conversation.
“Would cry at the littlest things!” They all gushed and Regulus just rolled his eyes. Not that he has changed that much but he controls himself in public much better, at least there is a small plus.
Yes, Regulus had always had a sensitive heart, even since he was just a small boy. He feels deeply in his soul for every living thing, even when he doesn’t always show it outwardly. In his youth he was often mean to others, not necessarily a bully but never kind. He was shown nothing but hatred at his home, and he uses the word home lightly as it never felt it was anything close to that. So, he showed the world that same hatred. But after every snarky remark or underlined insult, he would go home and cry, and cry, and cry, for the people he had hurt. He still thinks of all the people in his life that he has hurt with his words. It lives with him, the cruelty he has shown. He has learned to keep remarks to himself and only use them when his peers are aware he is joking. But will still leave the function feeling as if he has done a terrible thing. He has only expressed this to Pandora, and lightly to Barty. Never one for expressing feeling he was. If anyone else notices his frets they don’t say a thing. Pandora does her best, as she has always done, to make him feel okay within his skin. She is his safe haven and will always be. She lets him be himself, no matter how sorrowful or dark humoured he may be.
But that doesn’t stop the feeling he has had since he was a young child. Every since he was young he has felt as if he if just following his body around, completely separate from his skin. He watches his interactions with people and listens to the words that fall out of his mouth, and he is repulsed by it. He wants it to stop, to end, but it won’t. No matter how much he tried as a teen, the torture won’t end. He sees himself and hates it, hates himself.
Nothing Pandora has ever said has made that feeling even a morsel smaller. It makes him feel like crying child that people just walk by. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.
“You okay, Reg?” James leans near his ear and whispers, when did he get here? Regulus looks into his eyes and feels like melting at the sight, or sobbing he isn’t sure which one. But either way he has a weird feeling that James would let him.
“Yeah, yeah, fine.” Regulus responds, willing his leg to stop bouncing. Spoiler, it doesn’t.
“Liar.”
“What?” Regulus asks taken aback me
“I said, liar.” Regulus can’t help but gape at the man’s boldness. “Penny for your thoughts?”
“No, no my thoughts are worth more than a penny. At least a quarter.” Regulus repeats James’ words from earlier.
“Damn, inflation.” James says and hands him a quarter he found in his pocket.
-don’t ask me why they have coins in their pockets it’s not important, idc.-
“I’ve felt disconnected from my skin since I was a kid.” Regulus says, unsure why he is saying this to someone he barely knows. James’ eyebrows knit together.
“Is that all you are gonna say?”
“I don't know, I need another quarter for more.” Regulus giggles and James follows suit.
“What are you a pay phone, god damn.” James fishes another coin from his pocket.
“And I’ve hated everything I’ve seen.” Regulus whispers quieter than they’ve been talking.
“Reg, that’s-“
“No, criticism and solutions were not part of the deal.” Regulus fully expects James to ask for more, but he doesn’t?
“Alright then, would a Smore help?”
“Yeah, actually. It would.” James smiles and grabs two sticks and puts marshmallows on top.
“They don’t speak to each other again while they eat, but it feels oddly okay. You would think that Regulus would feel unworldly awkward, but he feels fine?
Then they walk to the cabin, again in complete silence. Regulus can feel James’ eyes on him the entire time but doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t think he could speak if he tried.
The only word that was uttered the entire night was by James, and it was the sweetest thing Regulus had ever heard.
“Good night, Regulus. I hope one day you feel connected.” James whispers before getting in his bed. Regulus just nods, shocked to the bone that the burning feeling in his nose bridge doesn’t birth a tear.
Art mentioned-
