An actual kiss-- maybe
Regulus sat on his bed, letting the darkness of the room envelop him, he was crying again. Softly and quietly, he let the tears fall from his eyes as he hugged his pillow tightly.
He knew it was pathetic. He knew it was dumb. But seeing Sirius hurt him so so much. He didn't want to bother his friends, so he made sure he was crying softly and quietly.
What was Sirius trying to do? Did he hate him so much that he had to show up all the time?
Regulus wiped away the tears. He needed to eat something, maybe that would make him feel better. Sneaking out of his bed, making sure he didn't wake Evan and Barty, he left the dormitory. He knew how to sneak out after hours; he had done it often.
Regulus walked through the halls, almost getting caught by Filch and Mrs. Norris like 100 times, but nevertheless, he made it to the kitchen.
His friends were probably all asleep already, after Pandora and him got back, Regulus shared what had happened. Dorcus looked furious and she stormed out of the dormitory for reasons Regulus couldn't explain.
When he entered the kitchen, the house elves greeted him with smiles. They loved when he visited, or at least that's what Kreacher told him.
"Master Regulus! We have missed you!" one of them said in a squeaky voice. Regulus knelt down so they were at the same height.
"I've missed you too," he smiled sweetly. He loved house elves; those little creatures were so loyal and kind and they'd never abandon him (unlike certain people). The house elf smiled back at him.
"That's adorable," a voice said fondly. Regulus stood up and turned to see James Potter. Because, ofcourse he was there.
"So I'm adorable and beautiful? Wow, Potter, you're really giving out compliments left and right," Regulus told him, despite his heart pounding. He stood up to face this annoyingly attractive man.
James didn't respond immediately. He just looked at Regulus with a strange stare, one that Regulus couldn't decode.
"Only for you," James said finally, causing Regulus to blush.
"Why are you here, Potter?" Regulus asked sharply, and he saw James hesitate for a moment.
"My friends—they sent me on a food run," James explained, gesturing to the house elves, who were quickly preparing food. Regulus fiqured that the gryffindors were having another one of their "legendary" parties.
Regulus shrugged at his words. He was content with ignoring James's presence entirely, especially given what had happened last Friday night.
"Hey, Regulus, I'm sorry." The way James said his name was like music to his ears. But he really didn't know what James was apologizing for. Was it for being so funny, attractive and just amazing? Was it for making Regulus fall for him?
"For what?" Regulus asked, turning to him, and James turned pale, like he didn't want to say anything more.
"I was going to kiss you the other night, and that was—uncalled for."
What?
Exuse me?
Regulus tried his best not to scream and jump around like a little girl. He deserved an Oscar for keeping his composure and unbothered expression.
"You were going to kiss me?" Regulus repeated, deadpanned, and James looked down at his feet.
"Yes—and I'm extremely sorry. I know you're not into blokes," James said, his voice small and ashamed.
Regulus couldn't wrap his head around what he was being told. Nobody but his close little friend group knew that Regulus was gay, and it wasn't something he liked to share, because if his parents found out.... Pushing all those thoughts out of his head, he found himself walking closer to James, feeling a new surge of courage.
"What if I said I did?"
"What?" his awkward expression turned into a grin, he looked up and stepping closer to Regulus. That grin made Regulus's heart flutter.
"So, if I were to kiss you right now—you'd be okay with it?" asked James, and Regulus wanted to scream yes, he wanted to write it in neon lights.
When future Regulus looked back on this moment, he remembered neither of them were really thinking, neither of them were considering the implications of what they were doing. If they knew that this would be the start of many tears, betrayal, and heartbreak, they wouldn't have done it. Yet here they were.
"More than okay," Regulus answered him, though the words barely came out. Immediately, James's hands were on Regulus's hips, and he let out a slight gasp. James hesitated at that, but Regulus reassured him by putting his own hands on the back of James's neck.
He felt James pull him closer and finally, he placed his lips on Regulus's. His lips were warm and tasted like chocolate. The kiss started off soft but intensified when James pulled him closer. It turned rough, both of them wanting more. All thoughts turned to mush. Regulus let out a small moan as James bit his lower lip. He had never felt better.
It all ended when they heard a noise, it was a pan dropping on the floor. They jumped away from one another, lips swollen and cheeks flushed.
"I just kissed my best friend's little brother," James breathed out, and Regulus couldn't properly register anything that was happening.
"I just kissed my brother's best friend," he mumbled softly. Regulus was avoiding James's gaze, and he was sure that James was doing the same.
They stood there in silence, complete and utter silence, until Regulus spoke. A sudden panic washing over him.
"Please don't tell anyone that I that I'm- you know," Regulus muttered, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw James look shocked and slightly confused.
"Of course I won't, Regulus," he said, like that was obvious, and he stepped closer. He was staring at Regulus, and Regulus decided to glance back.
"Listen, Regulus, I—"
"Food's ready, sir!" a house elf with a high-pitched voice announced, and James nodded at it, with a smile.
"I have to go, but—can we talk tomorrow night? After we finished the project?"
Regulus just nodded. He was in a daze. His fingers were on his lips; he was mesmerized, in a trance. James had left, or he hadn't. Regulus didn't know. He really didn't know.
His friends were going to tease him relentlessly.
And if James told Sirius... he would hate him even more...
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James was...the world didn't feel real. Nothing felt real anymore. Everything was too good to be true...
"James, Finally!" Marlene grinned as she and Peter took the food from his hands.
"James- you good?" Mary asked, her voice riddled with concern and James just nodded, he was more than good, he was great, amazing.
"I think I'm in love" he grinned, sitting on the couch, he was in a trance.
"I beg your pardon?" Remus said, and the others looked at him with confusion. He didn't say anything more, he just sat there in that happy daze.