Die for him
They were laying together one early morning in late February when Amira could keep it to herself no longer.
"Draco," she whispered.
"Yes?" he asked groggily.
"I need to tell you something," she said.
"What is it?" he asked, waking up more at her serious tone.
"I wanted to be wrong," she said. "But I know that I'm right."
"What baby?" he asked, pulling her in.
"Ever since they've joined us, I've sensed a darkness, like the Dark Lord," she said.
"The locket?" he asked.
"Like that, but less, and it's still here," she said, "It's Harry."
"The darkness in his mind," Draco remembered, "What is it?"
"He's a horcrux," she said, "And Dumbledore and Snape knew."
"I thought you said Snape didn't know about horcruxes," Draco said, mind spinning, "Could a person even be a horcrux?"
"A snake is," she pointed out, "And he doesn't. But I think he knows that Harry has one. He always had a secret about Harry that he wouldn't tell me."
"How would this have happened?" Draco asked, heart pounding.
"Maybe when he tried to kill him as a baby?" she guessed, "You said it was partially hidden and deep in there? That wouldn't be the case if it was new."
"Are you sure?" he asked.
She nodded, "It's why I feel sick after working with him for too long. It's dark magic. And it's trying to get me to use my magic even more because it knows about me. It's unmistakably from the Dark Lord. To be fair, it is so small, but still."
"Then we need to leave, if he's making you worse," Draco decided immediately.
"No Draco," she said, "It's okay, it's not making me worse, and I need to help him. It outweighs any negatives."
"He'll need to die then, if the Dark Lord is going to die," Draco contemplated.
"Yeah," she murmured, "He will too, you know he'd sacrifice himself."
"That's horrible though," Draco said, feeling sick.
"Unless I can do something," she said, "I might be able to remove it, like I did with your mark."
"Then it will have to wait until you're seventeen," Draco said, "We can't risk it now."
"We might not have a choice," she said.
"You're not killing yourself to save him," Draco demanded. "That's out of the question."
"We don't know that I will," she protested. "And if it's to end the war..."
"We don't know that it won't, and it's not looking good Amira," he said honestly, "And if someone has to sacrifice themself, it should be him. The prophecy was about him, not you."
"But that's just it Draco, he needs to kill him. He can't do that if he's dead," she argued. Draco felt panicked. He was terrified of what she was saying.
"So then we wait," he said, "There's no other choice."
"And if I die before then?" she asked.
"Then someone else can take care of this mess," he said frantically.
"Draco," she said sadly.
"No, we're done talking about this." He said abruptly and sat up. He swung his feet out of bed. It felt like the world was closing in. Amira couldn't die, that was out of the question. If anyone deserved to live it was her.
"Please don't go," her weak voice said. "I'm sorry."
He deflated and turned around.
"Come back?" she requested. He could never deny her. He crawled back to hold her. "We'll figure it out."
He nodded and held her tighter.
Later that day, they were all congregated in the other tent's living room.
"Luna is still in the Manor," Granger said, "If we broke in to get the snake, we should grab her."
"That whole idea is ridiculous," Amira said, "It's the stronghold, you'd be caught in a second."
"But you have insider knowledge," she protested.
"Yeah, and it's telling me it's suicide," Amira said firmly. "Draco?"
"She's right," Draco agreed. "Not a chance. The best shot is luring them both out."
"He knows we're hunting the horcruxes," Potter piped up, "I've seen it. He won't let Nagini leave his side."
"That's it then," Weasley chimed in. He and Granger had made up and since then he'd gone back to being his annoying self.
"Where?" Draco asked, "Where do we lure them to?"
"He'll bring an army," Amira said. "Especially if he knows both Harry and I will be there."
"So we'll need back up," Granger said, "The Order."
"It isn't enough," Draco shook his head.
"Hogwarts." Amira and Harry said at the same time. They looked at each other in surprise. The hero and the anti-hero. They often actually had the same ideas. It didn't bother Draco. Not at all. Except it did a lot.
"It has it's own defenses," Harry said.
"It's almost impenetrable," Amira agreed, "And there's professors there to help, the Order could sneak in."
"And a lot of seventh year students who might be able to help," Granger said thoughtfully. "That's good."
"So what... we just sneak in, and announce our arrival?" Weasley said, "And then fight for our lives and hope we kill him and the snake?"
It sounded crazy because it was.
"What about the last horcrux?" Granger asked, "We still don't know what it is."
Amira looked at Draco carefully.
"I have a lead," she murmured, "But nothing solid yet. Don't worry about it for now." Granger looked like she desperately wanted to ask but she didn't. It was very established within their group that if Amira didn’t want to say something, she wouldn’t.
"Do you still have the map?" she asked Potter instead. "We could plan our strategy."
"Yes," Potter said and summoned it.
"Map?" Draco asked. The old parchment looked old and yellowed.
"It's a map of everything in Hogwarts," Weasley chimed in, "Every secret room, passage, and everyone who is in it and where they are."
Draco's mind spun out for a moment.
"How long have you had that?" he demanded.
"Third year," Potter said with a smirk.
"That is so unfair," Draco complained, "Where did you find it?"
"It was my dad's," Potter explained with a shrug, "The twins found it, and they gave it to me."
"No wonder you got away with so much," Draco muttered.
"Harry, can I talk to you outside while they look at it?" Amira asked innocently. Draco tensed. He tried to catch her eye to tell her 'no' but she wouldn't look at him. His heart pounded as they stood and left. He felt sick and dizzy with panic.
He knew exactly what they were going to go talk about and he didn't want it. The less people who knew, the better. They couldn't risk anyone being willing to sacrifice her life for Potter's. Draco's only hope was that Potter was classically selfless and would never allow it. However, she'd be able to convince him she would be fine. The other three had no idea what was going on with her magic. She hid it well from them.
Amira sat down on a log next to the fire in the night air. The air was still cold, so she wrapped her arms around herself. Harry came and sat next to her.
"What is it?" he asked.
She looked out into the woods. This was going to be a difficult conversation, and it was worse, knowing that Draco didn't want her to have it.
"I know what the last horcrux is," she murmured.
"What is it?" he asked again, excited. She turned and looked at him. Then, she tapped his scar. There was silence for a few seconds as he processed it.
"Me?" he asked, face draining of color, "Is that possible?"
"It is," she nodded, "I think it happened by accident when you were a baby."
"On accident?" he asked.
"It would have to be, he doesn't know," she said, "He wouldn't be trying to kill you if he knew."
"How do you know?" he asked, panic entering his tone, "How do we get rid of it?"
"I can feel it, and I asked Draco to check when he entered your mind," she answered.
"He knows?" Harry asked. "This whole time?"
She nodded, "I didn't tell him until this morning, he didn't know what it was before."
Harry went quiet.
"I have to die then," he said. "Why didn't Dumbledore tell me?"
"He told Snape," she whispered, "Snape will tell you."
"Snape?" Harry asked, "He's a traitor."
"Dumbledore asked Snape to kill him," Amira explained, "Severus is Dumbledore's man, through and through. Your mother's name is Lily?"
"It is," Harry said, looking thrown.
"He was in love with her," Amira said, "I think."
Harry put his head in his hands. It was a lot to process. Amira felt bad for him.
"So should I just off myself now?" he said and sat up, eyes looking defeated.
"No," she said, "There's another way."
"I don't have to die?" he asked.
"You can't die," she said, "You have to be alive to defeat him."
"Then how?" he asked.
"I can take it out," she said, "I've been analyzing it and I know I can do it."
"That's great!" Harry said enthusiastically. Amira did not share his optimism, and Harry noticed. "When can we do it?"
"We will have to wait," she said.
"Why?" he asked, "You can't do it now?"
"I could," she said, heart sinking as reality set on her, "But I won't survive it, and you need me still."
"Wait, woah, what?" he asked, "What do you mean?"
She sighed, "My magic isn't stable. We've been hiding it from you all, but I'm going down hill. Have you heard of Ariana Dumbledore?"
"A little bit, she went mad?" he said.
"I have what she had," Amira explained, "I have too much magic for my mind and body, and it's breaking me down. I go completely nutty sometimes."
She hugged herself tighter.
"When I use magic too much, I can't stop," she admitted, "And it's too strong now, my heart will stop when I use the magic that I need to remove the horcrux."
"Then I won't let you," Harry protested. Amira smiled sadly.
"You have to," she said, "You have to finish him."
"You could do it," he argued, eyes wild.
"I could, but I would die then anyway, and then we would both be dead," she said.
"Is there no other way?" he asked. "You deserve to live."
"If I can make it to my seventeenth birthday, my magic should stabilize," she said. "Beginning of May, then I would have a chance."
"What do you mean if?" he asked.
"I don't know if I'll make it that long," she admitted, "I'm getting worse, fast. Besides, we'd all have to survive that long."
"We will wait then, we'll survive that long, and then, when you're seventeen... you can try. But you will stop if it's going to get bad," Harry decided.
"It's not that easy, Harry," she sighed, "I can't stop."
"Then I'll stop you. Or Draco will," he said, determined. "And we'll all work together to keep you alive until then."
"There's not much you all can do to help me," she pointed out. "It's just if my body and mind can handle my magic."
"We will figure it out," Harry pressed. "You're not sacrificing yourself for me."
"Alright," she sighed, "But if I know I'm not going to live much longer, you have to let me take it out."
He looked at her for a long moment, "Alright."
She scratched at her wrist absent-mindedly in the silence.
"Can I tell them?" Harry asked.
"Yeah," she nodded, "I expected you to. Just... tell them not to bring it up. The stuff about me. Talking about it makes it harder to ignore."
"Of course," he said. "I can see why Draco looked so angry when we left."
"Yeah," she agreed, "He's not happy about all of this."
"He loves you," Harry pointed out. Amira nodded. She saw him looking at her closely out of the corner of her eye. "Do you love him?"
She nodded again, "With everything I have."
"I never would have thought he had that side of him," Harry admitted, "But he's not so bad."
Amira smiled softly. "No, he's not at all."
"You've changed him," Harry said.
"We've all changed," Amira argued, "We're growing up, he's seen things. And he was never who you thought he was."
"You're right," Harry agreed. A wave of fatigue passed over her, signaling that she was running out of strength for the day.
"We should go back in," Amira said. He nodded and they stood together and walked inside.
Draco was sitting on the couch, leaning forward and pointing to the map. Amira was so exhausted, she just wanted to go back to her tent, but they were in the middle of a conversation. Draco looked up when they entered, scanning her face, and then finished what he was saying. Amira sank down right next to him, not caring about maintaining a respectable distance. They all knew they were together. Well, maybe Ron didn't, based on the look on his face when Draco leaned back and put his arm around her. She rested her head on his shoulder as they finished talking about the Whomping Willow entrance to the school. She was struggling to keep her eyes open, especially because he was stroking her arm casually.
Finally, they were done talking.
"We should get to bed," Draco announced. He nudged her to stand. She swayed a little, but Draco put a hand on her back for support so that it wasn't noticeable. Once they were out of the tent, he let her climb up on his back and he carried her back to their room. He helped her change into comfy pajamas before tucking her into bed. She was exhausted, and a little uncomfortable from all of the magic that was pushing to get out.
She waited for Draco to get back from the kitchen with their mugs of hot chocolate that they made a tradition almost every night now.
"Can I do some magic?" she asked groggily. Draco set down the mugs and sat next to her.
"Why?" he asked.
"It just needs to get out a little bit," she said through a yawn. "It's uncomfortable."
She shifted, as if that would relieve it. She was fighting every urge to just start scratching at her arms.
Draco looked nervous, "If you think you can stop, then you can."
She nodded. She put her hand out over their rug, and held Draco's hand with the other. She twirled her finger, and watched as fake snowflakes were conjured and flew in a gentle spiral. Even just that release made her feel so much lighter. She conjured a few more and sent them tumbling over each other across the room until they formed into a little snowman.
"That's neat," Draco complimented. Amira smiled sleepily. It felt good, the rush and the relaxation of her arms. Just a little more would do. She conjured a tiny sled for the snowman to ride around the room. A small hill to ride up and down. After two laps Draco squeezed her hand.
"That's enough," he said gently. Amira felt the seductive desire to ignore him, push more, drive faster, but she didn't. She nodded and the conjuring disappeared. She sighed deeply, feeling incredibly relieved. The itch was still there, but she could ignore it now.
"Alright?" he asked. She nodded. "Drink."
With his help, she drank about half of the mug. Then, her eyes started to close, and she tumbled into sleep.
Draco sat with her for a few moments until he was sure that she was asleep. Her fatigue worried him, but it wasn't abnormal. He'd let her do magic until her eyes had started to gleam, and then he'd cut her off, thankful that she listened. There was always the risk that she'd go too far.
He stood, and set various alarms to alert him if she woke. Then, he made his way back to the other tent.
"Potter," he said, poking his head in. The three of them jumped. Potter stood and Draco motioned with his head for him to come outside. Potter nodded knowingly.
"She told you," Draco stated.
"She did," Potter agreed, "How bad is she? Is it really going to be hard to get to May?"
"She's already lasting longer than I had thought back in October and November," Draco stated, "But it's not good. And to save you..."
"She'll die," Potter nodded, "I have no intentions of letting that happen."
"You don't?" Draco raised his eyebrow.
"She shouldn't die for me, she's not tied to any of this," Potter explained, "I don't know what her life has been like, but she has the look of someone who's been through quite a lot. She deserves to live."
"So what are you going to do?" Draco asked.
"The only way I'll let her do it is if she's already about to die," Potter said, "Because if that's true, I'll need to be here to take care of the Dark Lord. If there's any chance that she lives, I won't. I'll die. I'll wait for Snape to tell me what Dumbledore's plan was."
Draco nodded. He felt awkward then. He was asking Potter to die so that Amira wouldn't have to. It was cold, but he didn't regret it. He did regret that any of them would have to die. Potter didn't deserve it, not really. But Draco was selfish, and he wanted Amira to live more.
"For what it's worth," Draco said uncomfortably, "I hope there's a way where you both make it."
"Me too," Potter murmured. "Thanks Draco."
The use of his first name startled him.
He nodded, "Harry."
With that, the pair parted. Draco went inside and changed. He climbed into bed with Amira and smiled as she turned over in her sleep to snuggle closer to him. He held her close, as he did every night, praying that everything would be alright.