Buzz
"She's not going to be used to torture," the Dark Lord explained patiently, "I need her for battles."
"But-"
"No Bella!" the Dark Lord said sharply, "You are overstepping too much lately."
Bella shrunk backwards and apologized quickly. Amira observed with a raised brow. It was her third training session with the duo.
The first day, they hadn't done much learning. The Dark Lord had been obsessed with figuring out the way her magic worked without a wand. They'd stuck with the spells that Draco had already taught her while the Dark Lord had inspected her endlessly. Eventually, she had been too tired to continue and he had dismissed both her and Draco, and canceled their private session after dinner.
The next day, the Dark Lord had been absent, and Bella had moodily stomped in to tell them that they were to read some assigned books. He had given Draco a book on advanced Occlumency and one on the abstract Dark Arts. He'd given Amira a book on the basics of dueling, and a very old and advanced text on the way different magic felt and traveled. The second text had been extremely interesting to her. It resonated deeply with her experience. It explained why certain spells had different textures and temperatures and how to begin to recognize them. It was unique to each person, but there were different traits that seemed common to all.
For example, charms were almost light and airy. Transfiguration always felt very slippery and warm. Defensive spells felt solid and heavy. There were so many more categories beyond that Amira had not yet encountered. There were wards. And within wards, there were so many different kinds. There were protective wards, detective wards, offensive wards and more. And within that there were different strengths. They guarded different things. Amira had set the book down and focussed on the castle, and she could sense many that were so layered together that she couldn't tell them apart.
Then there were runes. She hadn't encountered any but they sounded incredibly interesting and complex. Apparently, the words and symbols carried a lot of magic. There appeared to be no limit to what one could do with ancient runes. Amira was eager to dive into that water. She knew that the Dark Lord wanted her to focus on battling and dueling, but these subtler and more long lasting magics appealed to her greatly. They were so much more complex, and so much more powerful.
She had also been enjoying her time with Draco in the mornings. Mostly, they continued on as they were. He would do the spell and tell her the movement. They were supposed to be reading from books but they were having a lot more fun actually doing the magic. Draco had said it was good for him to practice them all as well. They'd finished the fifth year text yesterday. This morning had been more difficult for Draco because they were covering sixth year material. He was only going into sixth year. He hadn't officially learned the spells yet, though he had read about all of them.
For the most part, he had been able to get the spells within one or two tries. On a few occasions, Amira had even been able to give him tips by watching and feeling his magic to sense what was wrong. It was abstract advice that frustrated Draco a bit, she could tell.
"You need to emphasize the precision, I think," she had said.
"What does that even mean?" he'd asked back.
"I can't say it any other way," she had defended, "Just try."
He had tried. He had failed on the first attempt, but he succeeded on the second.
"It's unfair because you don't even know how to do them, but you're teaching me," Draco complained, but he had been smiling so it didn't bother her. She shrugged and smiled back. She liked the way his eyes sparkled when he was teasing her.
Amira was brought back to the present moment when the Dark Lord addressed her.
"Amira, you need to learn shields, they are the most important part of defense," he told her, "The most basic one is 'Protego'. Draco had already taught you this. Show me."
Amira raised her hand, and produced the large blue shield. It was so large that it could've shielded a line of three people on either side of her. The Dark Lord fired a spell at it without warning. It cracked slightly. Amira stumbled back. She furrowed her brow, and reinforced it and the cracks smoothed out. She'd never had magic shot at her before, not since she had become a witch. She had a quick moment of anxiety about losing her bearings, but her shield seemed to be helping her stabilize the turbulent magic.
The Dark Lord threw another, stronger spell, and this time the cracks almost broke through. She reinforced it again. This time, she tried to make the shield thicker.
The Dark Lord fired two spells in quick succession and her shield shattered, and she was sent flying backwards. The wind was knocked out of her, but luckily her head didn't hit the floor. She scrambled to her feet. She looked over at Draco, who was seated in the corner of the room. They had cleared out the dining room for practice today.
"That was good," the Dark Lord praised, "But that spell is weak. It is designed for the basic wizard. You have more power. You need to be using something like this."
He produced a shield that glowed white instead of blue.
"With this one, you can also make it clear, so your opponents don't know you're shielding," the Dark Lord said and demonstrated. "This is also an easier one to cast out of at the same time. It is much, much more ideal for our purposes."
"It's also much harder," Bellatrix added. Amira didn't need her to say that. She could tell that the pure amount of energy that the Dark Lord was expending was greater than anything she had done so far. There was also an intense complexity woven on the inside of the shield.
"Could you cast it again?" she requested. She didn't much want to touch the Dark Lord, but the spell was difficult and she worried she would have to.
"Come, feel my magic," the Dark Lord demanded. She walked over to him. His magic was so cold, biting, and painful to be near. She didn't have a choice though. She tentatively placed her hand on his forearm, and he cast the shield again. Feeling his magic was even more painful. She felt like an icepick was stabbing her hand. She made sure to focus past the pain so that she didn't miss the spell.
She let go when she had a good idea, and took several steps backwards. When she was about two or three feet away, she finally felt like she could breathe again.
She turned her attention back to the spell.
She closed her eyes and pushed. Immediately, she quit. She needed to push more. She took a deep breath and tried again, and gritted her teeth as a huge wave of magic shot out of her arm. It became a blinding white shield around her. She squeezed her eyes shut and let go of the spell. She staggered when it ended. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Draco standing.
"You overshot the power a bit," the Dark Lord said. Her ears were ringing. She only nodded and tried to catch her breath.
"How do you control that much?" she asked when she finally could speak.
"Start more slowly, and build up," the Dark Lord suggested. He looked bored and unphased by her attempt. Bellatrix was looking on in awe. Draco looked very concerned. She pushed them all out of her mind.
She nodded and looked at the ceiling for a moment. Then she was ready to try again.
This time, she started to pull the magic. It seemed to understand what she wanted more this time. She started assembling it in front of her in the shield that the Dark Lord had shown a few minutes before. She took her time layering it and tracing it into the right spots. A couple of times, she had really needed to pull to keep getting the needed magic to finish the shield. Finally, she was done. An almost clear shield sat in front of her. And it was identical to the strength of the one he had shown her before.
She saw Bellatrix jumping and clapping. The Dark Lord gave her a motion, and Bellatrix began to fire spells at the shield. They hit and bounced off, or hit and absorbed. When the shield wasn't affected Bellatrix doubled her efforts. Amira worked on reinforcing the spots that she hit, though she didn't really need to.
Suddenly, she saw a bright green light being fired at her spell. She didn't know a lot, but she knew what that one was. Her eyes widened and she prayed her shield would hold. It did, though the outside splintered for the first time, and she was bumped backwards.
"That's enough," the Dark Lord said softly. Bellatrix stopped, and Amira dropped the spell. Way too quickly. She got an intense headrush that sent her head spinning. She crouched before she could fall and put her head in her hands. Her blood was roaring in her ears.
Get it together, she thought to herself. She forced her eyes open and blinked hard, trying to get rid off the black spots in her vision. She stood shakily. Everything was blurry, but it was coming back into focus slowly.
The Dark Lord was talking but he sounded underwater and far away.
"Amira?"
That was Draco. She turned to where she could make out blonde hair.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
"Yeah," she croaked, "Just a second."
Finally, her hearing and vision came back clearly. She still felt incredibly light headed, and the rush of adrenaline that her magic always gave her started flooding her body.
"Ok," she said.
"That was good," the Dark Lord said, "But your stamina is not."
Amira didn't know what to say.
"You have the capacity and the power of some of the greatest wizards alive, but you have the stamina of a first year," the Dark Lord said harshly. "We do not have seven years for you to build it."
"I'm fine," she assured him, "I could do it again."
She could. She was sure she could. She felt so good at the moment and her magic was itching for more. The Dark Lord eyed her closely.
"Come here," he commanded. She obeyed and walked to him. She felt like she was floating on air. He only looked at her.
"Your magic is ready, but your body is not," he said sternly. "You would lose consciousness if you did it again. Another time and your heart would stop."
Amira shook her head, "I feel good, I'm fine."
She didn't feel tired at all anymore. She felt alive. She felt on top of the world.
"Do not argue with me," the Dark Lord snapped. It didn't scare her, but she quieted down. Even in her uplifted state, she remembered not to argue with this man. "You are done for today."
He turned to Draco.
"Do not let her do any more magic today," he commanded him. Draco nodded quickly. "Go now."
Amira turned to Draco, and he jerked his head, signaling that she should follow him and leave. As they walked out, she heard the Dark Lord murmur to Bellatrix.
"She will be wonderful, if her magic doesn't kill her first," he told her, "We will have to watch out."
Amira rolled her eyes where he couldn't see her. She almost wished he could read her mind. Truly, she felt so healthy. She felt like this was the most capable she'd ever been. She was desperate to cast another spell. She could feel Draco looking at her as they headed out to the garden together. She didn't really care. She just felt good. And if she was a little lightheaded too, that was fine.
"Let's go on a walk," he suggested, turning to walk past the garden instead of into it. She followed him. Her feet felt like they were just floating over the ground. She looked up at the blue sky, and around over at the green grounds.
"It really is beautiful out here," she commented airly.
"It is," he agreed shortly. They walked in silence across the large grounds until they reached the treeline. She wished Draco would talk to her like they normally did.
"Can we go in there?" she asked.
"Just a bit," he answered, "If we go too far we'll be lost."
He led her into the treeline. His footsteps were knowing. The fresh air was clearing her head a bit, and bringing her back down to Earth. He led her to a fallen tree that had been decorated into a bench. He sat.
She sat next to him.
"Look at me," he requested. She did. "You're coming down now."
"You make it sound like I was high or something," she said, still feeling a little annoyed with everyone's reactions.
"You were," he said bluntly. "You were so out of it."
She shrugged. Every passing moment was bringing her back to herself more and more. She was also feeling a growing embarrassment about how obviously affected she'd been.
"I'm sorry," she said after a long while.
"You don't have to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong," Draco said quickly, "We're just going to have to be wary of that."
"Why?" she asked.
"This is something that happens, especially to witches who have both dark and light blood for some reason, no one knows why," Draco explained, "I thought it was a myth."
"What?" Amira asked.
"Your magic really likes being used, it's like a drug to you," he explained, "And it lures you into a highness that makes you feel like you can keep going and going. If you don't check it, it drives you mad. Or kills you. It was in the book he gave me yesterday."
"I thought it was just because of my situation," she said, "With my magic being new and strong and all."
"You've got so many factors playing in here," Draco laughed darkly. Then he looked at her, "It'll be okay. The more stamina you get the less it will affect you. And if you can start avoiding magic that really strains you, you should be able to at least keep a sense of caution that will keep you safe."
She nodded.
"And until then, you have all of us watching you," he said, "The Dark Lord is definitely not looking out for your best interest, but he will protect you from this. You're no good to him dead or mad."
She nodded again. She fidgeted with her hands. Anxiety and tiredness were settling over her with the absence of the adrenaline.
"That was very impressive though," he said, "I've never seen anything like it."
She shrugged, "I just did what he did."
Then she yawned. Sleepiness was overtaking her quickly.
"Are you tired?" he asked. She nodded, yawning again and covering her mouth. Her eyes felt heavy. "You can take a nap, we just need to walk back to the manor."
The manor seemed so far away. Her eyes were half way closed already and consciousness was leaving her. She heard Draco laugh. She started to lean to her side. She was just going to nap here.
"Okay, okay, lay down," she heard from far away. She felt her head nestled on something soft and warm. She felt a soothing touch through her hair, and then she was out.
Draco couldn't believe his luck. Amira was asleep on his lap. She had laid down on him, willingly. She felt safe enough with him to sleep. All of his previous worry was soothed by her presence. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining through the trees that were giving them shade. The breeze was blowing softly and there was the gentle noise of the forest. Draco relaxed fully for the first time since he'd been home.
He was both assured and concerned by what had happened earlier. He was assured that the Dark Lord did not want to drive Amira mad, at least right now. Right now, he was willing to stop her when it was clear that her body and mind were at risk. He wasn't certain that would continue during a battle or when he wanted something big. The Dark Lord would sacrifice her and if she was in that state, she would be all too willing. Draco was also concerned about what would happen if Amira was alone. If there was no one to stop her, would she just keep going? Even if there were people there, if it wasn't him, Bellatrix, or the Dark Lord, they would believe her if she said she could keep going.
Her light was so bright. She was so powerful, and so special. But it came at an extreme cost that Draco wasn't sure was worth it. There was nothing he could do now though, so he pushed it out of his mind.
He focused on enjoying the moment here. He didn't know when he would next be able to enjoy such peace and happiness. He wasn't sure if Amira would trust him like this again if she wasn't so tired.
After about an hour or more, she shifted and opened her eyes. Her bright blue circles looked up at him.
"Welcome back," he said. She looked around, and recalled where she was. She then blushed and tried to sit up.
"I'm sorry," she said, and tucked her hair behind her ear.
"It's alright," he said with a soft smile, "You needed it."
"Thank you," she said. The pair simply looked at each other for a long moment. It wasn't awkward. It was just peaceful.
Then Amira shivered. It wasn't that cold outside, but the temperature had definitely dropped since she first fell asleep.
"We should go inside," he said, and stood. He held his hand to help her up. She took it gratefully. He dropped her hand once she was steady on her feet, though he wished he could keep it. He didn't want to push.
They walked in a much more comfortable silence on the way back in. He could tell she was still sleepy. She needed to eat, and then go to bed. He figured her absence at dinner would be acceptable.
They entered the manor again, and he felt her footsteps falter as he held the door for her. He looked inside as he walked and followed her gaze. Yaxley was there, waiting for them.
Amira stopped, and Draco stopped next to her. Subconsciously, he kept himself half a step in front of her.
"The Dark Lord has permitted me to do our weekly check in," the man explained. His eyes traveled greedily over her body, and Draco wanted to hit him. "Should we go upstairs?"
Amira didn't speak. Rage began to grow in Draco.
"Is that necessary?" Draco asked. "Just ask her if her needs are met."
"Don't tell me what to do boy," Yaxley growled and stepped forward, "We are going upstairs."
Draco saw red when he reached his hand forward to attempt to grab Amira's wrist. He whipped out his wand and shot a stinging hex at the man's arm. The man reared back and pulled out his own wand.
"She will be staying with me, she is under my family's protection now," Draco hissed at him. Amira was standing like a statue with her head down. Draco stepped in front of her. "Leave now. You've done what you need to. You will not touch her again."
Draco did something that he rarely did, and barely could do, but invoked the power of the house as its heir, and urged the man to leave. Yaxley must have felt it, so he snarled once more and then stomped off. Once he was gone, Draco turned to look at Amira. Her face was blank and she was staring where her uncle had disappeared.
"Are you alright?" he asked her. She didn't answer. He looked around quickly to ensure they were alone. They were, so he took her hand, and found it shaking. She still didn't react.
"Let's go upstairs," he suggested. He led her by the hand up the stairs and to her room. She was pale, and the tremors had made their way from her hand to the rest of her body by the time they were there. She was hyperventilating and her eyes were doing the tell tale darting around the room. He sighed and pulled her to the small settee that sat near the window in her room. He had her gently sit down. She curled in on herself and shrank away from him. This seemed different from the other times. There was so much terror now.
"You're okay," he said quietly. He longed to pull her into his arms and soothe her, but he settled for holding her hand and rubbing comforting circles on the back of it. She was holding his hand so tightly that it almost hurt, but he didn't mind. "You're safe. Deep breaths."
He was alarmed when tears started spilling down her cheeks. "Hey, it's okay, no one's going to hurt you."
She flinched at the word hurt, and Draco felt helpless.
"Amira, you're safe," he repeated, "Everything's okay."
Slowly, he coaxed her through several deep breaths. They were shaky at first. Once he could tell she wasn't so afraid anymore, he switched tactics. Her eyes were still looking everywhere, and she was still tense.
"Ok, good, now focus on my magic okay?" he said, remembering that she had said she could find his magic and focus on it a lot easier because it was so familiar now. Her eyes were still darting, but they would land on him and linger there for longer and longer each time. Eventually, she relaxed a bit and leaned back against the seat. Her cheeks were still wet. Ever so slowly, Draco reached forward and gently wiped the tears away. She watched him carefully, but she didn't flinch.
"Better?" he asked. She nodded slowly.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"It's okay dar-" Draco coughed and stopped himself from finishing the word 'darling'. That wasn't appropriate. "-Amira. It's not your fault."
She looked down, "He just surprised me."
"I know," he said, "But he's gone now. "
She looked up at him, "What do you know about him?"
Draco felt uncomfortable then. He wasn't supposed to know, technically. He had guessed, and his mother had confirmed, but he had never addressed it with Amira. He didn't want to lie to her. Amira read his face.
"You know how he treated me?" she asked. He nodded slowly. "How?"
He cleared his throat. "I, uh, I saw the bruises. And... I asked my mother."
"She told you... when?" she asked. She pulled farther away from him and he let go of her hand.
"The morning I woke you in the library," Draco said honestly. Amira looked down at her hands.
"Why did you still talk to me? After you knew?" she whispered.
"Why wouldn't I?" he asked, "We're friends."
"But..."
"It doesn't change how I think of you," he said, "I hate that you had to live like that, but I don't see you differently."
She looked up at him then, clear disbelief in those bright blue eyes.
"What happened to you was wrong, and not your fault," Draco said slowly and clearly, "He is a horrible man. That says nothing about you."
He didn't know if he was saying the right things. He just wanted her to feel better. He wanted to take her away and run. He wanted to hold her close and make her feel loved.
"We don't have to talk about it anymore," Draco said, and then considered that he should add, "But... if you ever need to talk about it, you can. Or, you can talk to my mother."
She nodded slowly. Then she sighed. "Thank you."
Her eyes were heavy again. This had been a rough and long day already.
"You should sleep," Draco said. She nodded and rose.
"Can you stay... a little longer?" she asked hesitantly.
"Of course," he said, feeling pleased and also worried, "Is it still overwhelming?"
She nodded, "Yes, and.... I don't want to be alone yet."
"I'll always stay if you need me to," he told her earnestly. He didn't know why he was being so open with her. He just wanted her to know that she wasn't alone and that she could rely on him.
She nodded. "I'm going to change."
She went to the bathroom and came back out in dark blue pajamas. She climbed into the bed, and Draco stayed where he had been sitting.
"If you don't want to, it's fine, but could you maybe come closer?" she asked quietly a few minutes later, "It's all moving so much still."
He could tell by the strain in her voice that she was trying to remain calm. He stood up quickly and crossed the room to her. She reached out a hand, and he took it immediately. "Thank you."
He nodded. He awkwardly stood next to her bed while she tried to calm down.
"You... you can sit down," she offered. She let go of his hand to slide over and make room for him. He could tell she was nervous, so he sat down close to the edge, on top of the blankets so that she would feel as safe as possible.
"This okay?" he asked.
"Yes, thank you," she said again. He could tell she wasn't far from sleep. Sure enough, her eyes drifted closed quickly and her breathing evened out. It was the second time that day that she had fallen asleep in his presence, and he marveled at the trust he was being shown. He stayed until it was too close to dinner before he left her. He shut the door quietly, with a smile on his face.