Dolores Umbridge
When we sat at our tables, Luna holding my hand under the table, the Sorting Hat sang an entirely different song than the years before.
In times of old when I was new
And Hogwarts barely started
The founders of our noble school
Thought never to be parted:
United by a common goal,
They had the selfsame yearning,
To make the world’s best magic school
And pass along their learning.
“Together we will build and teach!”
The four good friends decided
And never did they dream that they
Might someday be divided,
For were there such friends anywhere
As Slytherin and Gryffndor?
Unless it was the second pair
Of Huffepuff and Ravenclaw?
So how could it have gone so wrong?
How could such friendships fail?
Why, I was there and so can tell
The whole sad, sorry tale.
Said Slytherin, “We’ll teach just those
Whose ancestry is purest.”
Said Ravenclaw, “We’ll teach those whose
Intelligence is surest.”
Said Gryffindor, “We’ll teach all those
With brave deeds to their name,”
Said Hufflepujf, “I’ll teach the lot,
And treat them just the same.”
These differences caused little strife
When first they came to light,
For each of the four founders had
A House in which they might
Take only those they wanted, so,
For instance, Slytherin
Took only pure-blood wizards
Of great cunning, just like him,
And only those of sharpest mind
Were taught by Ravenclaw
While the bravest and the boldest
Went to daring Gryffindor.
Good Hufflepuff she took the rest,
And taught them all she knew,
Thus the Houses and their founders
Retained friendships firm and true.
So Hogwarts worked in harmony
For several happy years,
But then discord crept among us
Feeding on our faults and fears.
The Houses that, like pillars four,
Had once held up our school,
Now turned upon each other and,
Divided, sought to rule.
And for a while it seemed the school
Must meet an early end,
What with dueling and with fighting
And the clash of friend on friend
And at last there came a morning
When old Slytherin departed
And though the fighting then died out
He left us quite downhearted.
And never since the founders four
Were whittled down to three
Have the Houses been united
As they once were meant to be.
And now the Sorting Hat is here
And you all know the score:
I sort you into Houses
Because that is what I’m for,
But this year I’ll go further,
Listen closely to my song:
Though condemned I am to split you
Still I worry that it’s wrong,
Though I must fulfil my duty
And must quarter every year
Still I wonder whether sorting
May not bring the end I fear.
Oh, know the perils, read the signs,
The warning history shows,
For our Hogwarts is in danger
From external, deadly foes
And we must unite inside her
Or we’ll crumble from within.
I have told you, I have warned you. . . .
Let the Sorting now begin.
I looked at Luna, surprised, as we clapped.
"Seems a little bleak, doesn't it?" She nodded, and we discussed the reasoning behind it while the Hat sorted first years. After a few words, Dumbledore sat, and we dug into the supper. I ate my way steadily through three whole platters of pork chops and a plate of bread pudding before starting on dessert, a plate piled high with fruit (a bird's gotta eat, y'know?). When the plates cleared themselves, and Dumbledore introduced the new Care of Magical Creatures teacher for this year, along with the Defence teacher, Dolores Umbridge.
"She looks like a toad." Luna giggled, and spoke seriously.
"She's from the Ministry. I assume she's here to monitor Dumbledore and the school." I shook my head, scratching absentmindedly at the Mark under my robes.
"She doesn't know what she's in for." Luna smiled, and we paused as the woman stood, ugly pink cardigan matching her ugly face, interrupting Dumbledore as he spoke.
"Oh, I'm going to have fun with her." Luna chided me, and we tuned into the woman's speech.
“The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. The rare gifts with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction. The ancient skills unique to the Wizarding community must be passed down through the generations lest we lose them forever. The treasure trove of magical knowledge amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished, and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching.” At this point she glanced over at the teachers and bowed, none of them returning the gesture. McGonagall looked absolutely furious, and I cracked a grin as I plotted ways to ruin Umbridge's reign here.
“Every headmaster and headmistress of Hogwarts has brought something new to the weighty task of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, for without progress there will be stagnation and decay. There again, progress for progress’s sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering. A balance, then, between old and new, between permanence and change, between tradition and innovation . . .” I sucked in a breath.
"She's trying to meddle with the school." I nodded to Luna's sentence before responding quietly.
"I'm pretty sure the school is going to meddle back." She shrugged, and I snuck a glance at Potter. His attention was wandering, as was the attention of most of the people in the Hall. I turned back to Umbridge.
“. . . because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognised as errors of judgment. Meanwhile, some old habits will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness, and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited.” She finished, and I began whispering quickly to Luna.
"I assume she is trying to tell the truth, but bury it in a load of other words so we can't find it. Fat load of good it did her." We stood, and I walked with Luna to the dorms (Dumbledore had decided to choose two girls to be Prefects so I could keep a closer eye on everything, and have a chance to report in to Voldemort if I had to.) before splitting at the entrances.
"Are you going to come over?" She shrugged.
"Perhaps." I nodded, and walked to my dorm, shutting the door behind me before finding my schedule on my nightstand.
Monday
8:00-Defense Against the Dark Arts
9:00-Charms
11:00-Transfiguration
12:00-Lunch
1:00-History of Magic
2:00-Divination
3:00-Arithmancy
6:00-Free Period
Midnight-Astronomy
Tuesday
8:00-Defense Against the Dark Arts
9:00-Potions
12:00-Lunch
1:00-Study of Ancient Runes
3:00-Arithmancy
6:00-Free Period
Midnight-Astronomy
Wednesday
8:00-Defense Against the Dark Arts
9:00-Transfiguration
10:00-Herbology
12:00-Lunch
1:00-History of Magic
2:00-Care of Magical Creatures
3:00-Arithmancy
6:00-Free Period
Midnight-Astronomy
Thursday
8:00-Defense Against the Dark Arts
9:00-Charms
12:00-Lunch
1:00-Study of Ancient Runes
3:00-Arithmancy
6:00-Free Period
Midnight-Astronomy
Friday
8:00-Defense Against the Dark Arts
9:00-Herbology
10:00-History of Magic
12:00-Lunch
1:00-Potions
3:00-Arithmancy
6:00-Free Period
Midnight-Astronomy
I shrugged, and rolled into bed, quickly falling asleep as I plotted different pranks to pull on Umbridge.
I woke the next morning, Luna beside me. I rubbed her shoulder, and she woke, yawning. I stood, and pulled on my robes, determined to get to Defence class early.
"I'll save a seat, Luna." She smiled, and I grabbed my bag and wand before hurrying down to the Great Hall, noting that Umbridge was sitting at the staff table. I grabbed a pile of toast and sausage before dashing to the classroom, picking a spot in the far back, and putting my bag on another seat. I slowly ate, every so often Charming or Cursing something in the room so that when Umbridge used it, different things would happen. Just as I finished the food, Luna plunked down in the seat next to me.
"Have you done anything?" I nodded mischievously, and she sighed. The other students filed in, a mix of Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, during which I took the opportunity to jinx yet another thing in the room. When we had all sat, and were looking around curiously, Unbridge entered.
"Wands away." I frowned, still disgusted by her way-too girly voice, and stowed my wand in my lap for easy access.
"Today we will begin reading Defensive Magical Theory, Chapter One. You will sit quietly after you finish." She waved her wand, and the books rose an inch in the air before stopping. She frowned, and waved her wand again. They didn't move, but, with a bang, they exploded, sending bits of paper and cover across the room. Quick as a whip, while her eyes were shut, I waved my wand, fixing the books and sending them out, one to each desk. I also spelled out the words Don'ttell behind her, and, when she moved her hands away from her face, we were all busily reading chapter one. After a moment of shock, she frowned, and shrugged it off, not noticing the sniggers quietly sounding in the room. For the rest of the lesson, I would mess with her ever so slightly, vanishing the chalk from the board, or shifting things an inch or two to the left or right. When we were dismissed, she was almost neurotic, checking things twice before she sat down or moved. When we reached the hall, I received a few high fives, not used to the popularity, and we headed to the next class.
The weeks passed quickly, Umbridge slowly growing angrier and angrier, and I was severely aggravated when I learned of what she had done to Potter after the first day in his Defence class. So, when I heard of the formation of a Defence Against the Dark Arts class by the three from Luna, I eagerly agreed to go with her. As we sat through the meeting in the Hog's Head, I grew excited, because I knew that I could help (and, Defensive Magical Theory was the most boring book I'd ever read, even worse than Dark Magic in the Twentieth Century). When the paper to sign reached me, I signed it straight off, as did Luna. As people filed out, I approached Harry.
"Hey, you know, I could help with the teaching, if you want." He nodded eagerly, and spoke.
"Good idea. You've got a better knowledge of the spells Dark Wizards will probably use, anyway. No offence." I shrugged, and clapped his shoulder before leaving with Luna. As we walked back, I discussed different spells with her, drawing up a plan for when I was given the opportunity to teach. I figured I'd have to steal a few dozen rats, and decided to grab some from McGonagall's office when I had the chance. I resumed my classes, eagerly waiting for the first DA meeting, and leapt on the spot when Hermione whispered it to me. I quietly traveled to the Room of Requirement, Luna in tow, and walked past it three times before entering and finding everyone else already there.
"Ah, there you are, Dugan. I was just explaining to the group that you would be showing them a few of the spells that the Death Eaters, along with all of the Dark Wizards out there, use." I nodded, before striding confidently through the crowd, before turning around and facing them. It was then, with all eyes on me, that I began to grow anxious. I scanned the crowd, trying not to hyperventilate, and found Luna. She smiled slightly at me, and I was suddenly bolstered.
"Okay, so you all know the three Unforgivable Curses, correct? Imperius, Cruciatus, and the Killing Curse. What you probably do not know is that there are a host of other painful curses and jinxes that Death Eaters regularly use in service to Lord Voldemort." I figured avoiding the use of 'the Dark Lord' when talking to these people would do me more good than harm, and waved my wand, summoning the thirty or so rats.
"I will show you most of these spells, as well as the Shield Charm that can successfully block them." I began by casting the minor curses, dizziness, hallucinations, et cetera, before moving on to the more dangerous ones, such as blindness, deafness, and suffocation. At the end, I showed them the two curses that were second only to the Unforgivable Curses, dehydration and starvation. As the last rat crumpled to dust, I shrugged.
"If you can block or dodge these, you'll be able to last long enough in a fight to maybe Stun or Disarm whoever you're facing." I made to step out of the way for Harry, but someone raised their hand, a Gryffindor.
"You've got a question?" He nodded, and spoke.
"Just how did you learn these spells?" I chuckled.
"While you lot watch Quidditch and play pranks, I read. Harry, take it away." As he did, I slipped to the back of the class, next to Luna. We watched, and listened, and, as we were about to practice Stunning, the Mark burned, signalling that I needed to report to Voldemort. I excused myself, and dashed through the halls, knowing the longer I took, the worse it burned. Down to the grounds, sprinting as I held back tears, and I reached the edge of the anti-Apparation spell, and Apparated with a crack to the Shrieking Shack. Instead of Voldemort, who I had expected, it was Lestrange. She was sitting on the floor, index finger on her Mark, which she removed at the sight of me.
"Hello, Dugan." I bowed, and she stood.
"Any news?" I nodded.
"Dumbledore is setting up regular guard watches at the Hall of Prophecy. He knows the Dark Lord is trying to get to the prophecy." She nodded.
"Anything else?" I shrugged.
"The Ministry has sent a woman, Dolores Umbridge, to survey the school and teach Defense Against the Dark Arts." She nodded once more before baring the black teeth in a grim smile.
"You have done well. Over the Winter Break, seek our Lord at Malfoy Manor." I nodded, and bowed before Apparating to the edge of the school's boundaries and running back to the Room of Requirement. I slipped in, and took my turn to Stun and be Stunned, no one seeming to notice that I had been gone.
~
Winter Break came too soon, Potter going to Grimmauld Place while I snuck from the castle one lonely day and made my way to the edge of the forest. I Apparated, and when I appeared at the entrance to Malfoy Manor, I checked to make sure my sleeves were rolled down, to keep up appearances. I knocked on the massive doors, which were promptly opened by Narcissa Malfoy. She saw my face, and led me inside, past the foyer and down into the basement, where Voldemort waited.
"Ah, my second-most faithful servant." I bowed, and he spoke.
"You have given me good information. You rescued my most faithful, and you have kept tabs on Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix for me. For that, I am ever grateful. You even have surpassed Severus in your usefulness. And so, it is with these things in mind that I give you this." He waved his wand, snakelike eyes matching eerily with the flat, pale face, and a small chest floated from a dark corner of the room. It landed at my feet, and he motioned. I knelt, gently flipping the clasp up before lifting the lid, revealing a simple gold band.
"Thank you, my Lord." I lifted it from the box carefully, and slipped it on.
"This is no ordinary ring, Dugan. With it, you are able to bend the will of those around you, and, in time, you shall make it your first Horcrux." My eyes widened, and he smiled maliciously.
"Yes, Dugan. You shall make a Horcrux out of that ring, to be by my side eternally. And, if you fail..." He left the threat hanging in the air, high, cold voice making me shiver involuntarily. I bowed, murmuring thanks, and he smiled before dismissing me. I slowly exited the Manor, dread filling my heart, and Apparated back to the castle, pulling the ring off and stuffing it into my robes before running to Dumbledore's office, tears collecting on my eyelids. I mumbled the password, and burst into Dumbledore's office, where he was talking to McGonagall. Once they both saw my face, the conversation petered off into silence. I stood, swaying on the spot, and felt a single tear roll down my cheek.
"D-Dumbledore..." He rose, wand out, and spoke as he moved towards me.
"Dugan? Are you alright?" I shook my head, and sat down on the floor, rolling the ring in my fingers.
"I'm in too far, Albus." He froze, as did McGonagall, at the use of his first name.
"He gave me this ring. He said it can bend the will of the people around me. And then... He-well," Dumbledore squatted next to me.
"What is it, Dugan?" I shook my head, and thrusted the ring at him.
"He said that it'd be my first Horcrux. And, if I fail..." His eyes widened, and he took the ring, casting a spell or two on it while I sat on the floor, staring at my shoes. After a little, he gently shook my shoulder.
"Dugan. It's going to be alright." I nodded, and stood slowly. I watched him sadly.
"I-I need time to think. Minerva, will you escort Dugan to his dormitory, please?" She nodded, and gently took me by the arm.
"Come along, now. Let's get you some tea." I'd never heard her voice this soft or kind, but I welcomed it as we walked.
"Dumbledore will figure something out, he always does." I nodded numbly, and we entered the Great Hall, which was filled partly with people who were eating supper. McGonagall waved her wand, and a plate vanished, along with a goblet. She then led me out of the Hall, ignoring the curious looks from students, and up the stairs, answering the question easily and leading me to a chair near the fire. She waved her wand, and the plate reappeared, this time filled with sandwiches, and the goblet was filled with steaming hot tea. I took a sip, and gagged at the sweetness before shrugging it off. I started on the sandwiches, McGonagall keeping a close eye on me, before Luna burst into the common room.
"Dugan?" McGonagall turned, but I spoke.
"She knows." She stopped, allowing Luna to walk to my side.
"Hey, are you alright?" I shook my head.
"It's gone too far for me. Luna, he wants me to kill someone and make a Horcrux." She gasped, and hugged me tightly. We were interrupted by someone entering the dormitory.
"Dugan, I've decided on a plan." Dumbledore entered, and sighed.
"You'll finish this year, and enter hiding at Grimmauld Place. You'll stay there until Voldemort attacks us, which he will, and then you'll run from the battle, using it as a distraction to get as much distance as possible between you and him." I sighed before standing.
"I may be afraid, Dumbledore, but I am not a coward. I'll continue the mission, but I will not kill someone for it. I'll delay for as long as possible." He sighed, looking much older than he was, and nodded gravely.
"I understand. You are shouldering a great burden, my friend." I grimaced.
"I knew that back in my second year, Albus." He nodded, before turning to go.
"You know, Minerva, I think sometimes we Sort too soon..." The door shut, and the plate, along with the goblet, vanished. I sat there, Luna holding my hand, worrying about how I could delay this. All of a sudden, two prim knocks sounded. I glanced at the door.
"I do not know that. I simply need to speak to Dugan Kehoe." I groaned. Umbridge must have seen me in the Great Hall. I stood, and walked over to the door, swinging it open.
"Yes, Professor Umbridge?" She huffed.
"What happened in the Great Hall?" I resisted the urge to gag as her perfume permeated the doorway.
"I was feeling poorly, and Professor McGonagall took me to my common room with a meal." She simpered, smiling sinisterly.
"Also, why were you running to and from the school boundaries?" I shrugged.
"Exercise." She frowned at me.
"May I see your arms, please?" I frowned, terror striking me.
"Why?" She scowled.
"Because I told you too. Now, show me your arms!" I laughed in her face.
"You may be the Minister's right hand, but here you're just a teacher. Good night." Slamming the door shut, I clutched my chest as I heard her yelling through the door. Luna giggled, and I listened to Umbridge yelling, knowing sooner or later someone would let her in. I kissed Luna goodnight, and hurried to my room, shutting the door and putting a powerful Locking Charm on it. Before I did, I stuck a piece of paper on it that read:
No Defence Against The Dark Arts Teachers Allowed.
Before crawling into bed and falling asleep.