The first time Marlene McKinnon laid eyes on Euphemia Potter, she knew she was the one.
Picture this. An 11-year-old Marlene McKinnon sees this beautiful Amazon of a woman on the Hogwarts platform and whispers under her breath, “Who is that fine-looking lady?”.
She would find out soon enough that that lady was one of her best mate’s mums. Over the years, Marlene would never fail to tell James about how his mum is the hottest woman alive and how one day she was going to be his dad, not Monty.
So, when the marauders invited Lily, Mary & herself to stay at James’s house (on the condition Marlene wouldn’t be weird), she jumped at the opportunity.
They all arrived at the Potter house and were greeted by the woman Marlene needed and the man who will always be in her way.
After a brisk hello, James decided to take matters into his own hands and give the group a tour of the house while the house elves put their things into the rooms they would be staying in.
As James rambles on and sprints from room to room, all Marlene can think about is sleeping in the same house as her future wife.
“Hey, potter”, Marlene said, “since you’re showing us around just out of curiosity, where does your mum sleep?”
With a scowl that only appeared when Marlene commented on his mum, James replied,
“Well, l… if you need her here, she is over the other side of the house from you, which is on purpose, as I’m sure you know. If you need something, though, knock on my door, yeah. Do not bother my mother, Marlene. She will not kiss your boo-boos better in the middle of the night. She only does that for Sirius and me.”
“Well, alright then. If I need my ‘boo-boos’ to be kissed, I’ll come straight to you, Potter. Bit weird though, considering I thought Lily was the one you had a thing for” At this, James went bright red; Lily jabbed her elbow into Marlene’s ribs, and the rest of them were trying not to laugh too loud.
“She’s got you there Prongs. Now let’s get on with the rest of the tour.” Sirius said
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When Mary and Marlene woke up on a particularly hot summer morning, they decided to make their way out to the garden to sunbathe. Lily opted to come with them but sit in the shade reading a book so she wouldn’t get burnt.
When they go to the garden, Marlene realises how great of a view she would have while sunbathing, so she lays out her blanket in the sunny patch next to the tree to be close to Lily and have the perfect view of her perfect little pocket rocket of a woman.
As the minutes turned to hours, she kept coming up with fantastic scenarios of how she would love to keep Effie entertained if she had the chance until she was rudely interrupted by the marauders coming to get them to go for a walk.
“I’m really into this book, so I might stay here instead and just go in and read if that’s alright with you guys?” Lily said as she turned another page
“Yeah, no worries, Lils. What about the rest of you?” James asked
Marlene, Sirius, Remus & Peter decide to come along, but Mary stays behind with Lily to keep her company.
James was over the moon with how well his idea had gone down, and he ran off to tell his mum where they were off and to keep an eye on Lily for him. Just in case she needed anything.
“No worries, darling. I will see you a lot soon. Don’t worry about Lily; I’ll keep an eye on her for you.” Effie winks at James.
James blushes. “It’s not like that mum Lily doesn’t see me that way.”
About halfway through their walk, Marlene states unprompted, “James. Your mum is of bee-keeping age.”
“Marls, what does that even mean? My dad is the one who keeps bees, not my mum. You know this.” James looked puzzled at his new revelation about his mother.
“Mate, I think Marls is saying your mum is fit.” Sirius pointed out.
“Oooooh.. wait. Marls. For fucks sake, stop going on about my mum. She is just a person.” James said, raising his voice at Marlene.
“She’s not just a woman, James. She is my future wife, and you can’t handle it!” she screamed.
“My mum and dad will be together forever, and that’s that. I’ll help you find someone else to move on with. Just stop going on about my mother.” He screamed back.
“Do you have someone else in mind for me, Potter?” Marlene said back, more intrigued than annoyed now.
“Well, not really. Is anyone you have your eye on? – and do not say my mum again,” he replied
“I can think of someone… but you must know she will always be second to the lov- your mum.” She admits