Chapter 7
Entering Remus' office, the heavy wooden door creaked as it closed behind them. A haven of comfort amidst the ancient stone walls of Hogwarts, the room exuded warmth, with a fire crackling in the hearth and the faint smell of old books lingering in the air. Shelves lined with worn volumes and curious artefacts hinted at Remus's varied interests and scholarly pursuits.
"Have a seat, Bambi," Remus prompted gently, gesturing to a comfortable armchair by the fire. Busying himself with the kettle, he poured steaming tea into two mismatched cups. "I thought we could talk here, where it's a bit more private."
Sinking into the armchair, Harry's frustration was still palpable. Glancing around the room, he took in the personal touches that marked this as his godfather’s space. Despite his anger, the warmth of the room and the comforting scent of tea so similar to their own home helped ease some of his tension.
In the centre of the room stood an old oak desk, cluttered with parchment and quills, a testament to Remus's diligent preparations for his classes. In one corner, pressing its face against the glass and pulling faces, was a very large tank of water holding a sickly-green creature with long, spindly fingers.
Surveying the Grindylow thoughtfully, Lupin remarked, "Water demon. We shouldn’t have much difficulty with him, not after the Kappas."
With the soft ticking of a grandfather clock adding to the room's calm ambiance, the contrast to Harry's inner turmoil was stark. Remus handed Harry a cup of tea, the steam curling upwards in delicate spirals. Taking a seat opposite his godson, he began, "I know you're upset. I owe you an explanation."
Meeting Remus's gaze, Harry's eyes reflected a mixture of anger and confusion. "I just don't understand why I can't go to Hogsmeade like everyone else."
Remus took a deep breath, his heart heavy with the weight of the revelation he was about to make. "Harry, the decision to restrict your movements wasn't made lightly. It's because of Black."
The name hung in the air like a dense fog, carrying with it memories and emotions Remus had long buried. Harry's brow furrowed in confusion, sensing the gravity in Remus's voice. "Yes, as you’ve said,” Harry whinged, rolling his eyes. “But what does Sirius Black have to do with me not going to Hogsmeade?"
Remus sighed, feeling the weight of the past pressing down on him. "Sirius Black wasn't just any prisoner in Azkaban, Harry. He was once a very close friend of mine.”
He leaned back in his chair, his gaze distant as he recalled the past. "We were known as the Marauders—James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, and myself. We were inseparable during our time at Hogwarts. We did everything together, shared our hopes and dreams, our laughter and our secrets. Sirius was my best friend…In fact, he was more than that."
Harry's eyes widened in surprise, the anger momentarily giving way to curiosity and a hint of apprehension. "More than friends?"
Remus nodded slowly, his gaze dropping to his tea. "Yes, Harry. Sirius and I... we were together."
He paused, taking a sip of his tea. "Sirius and I... we were in love. It was a secret we kept from almost everyone. It was a time of war, and there was so much at stake, but we found solace in each other."
Harry's jaw dropped, stunned into silence. He had never considered the possibility that Remus might have had a romantic relationship, let alone with someone like Sirius Black. The idea seemed to unravel the image he had held of his godfather for years, a man who had always been there, quietly supportive but never revealing much about his personal life.
Remus felt a pang of guilt at Harry's shocked expression. He had kept this part of his past hidden for so long, partly to protect Harry from the complexities of his relationships and the risks they entailed. Yet now, faced with Harry's incredulous stare, he couldn't help but fear the consequences of this revelation.
"I... I never knew," Harry finally managed to say, his voice a mixture of surprise and disbelief.
For a moment, silence settled between them, the crackling fire the only sound in the room. Remus watched as Harry processed everything, his mind racing with questions and emotions. It was a lot to take in, Remus knew, but he hoped that in time, Harry would understand the complexities of their situation.
Still stunned, Harry spoke up. "You and Sirius were together? But then, how could he...?"
That was the question wasn’t it. How could he? How could he take over 10 years of friendship, love, family, and just end it with one revealed secret. How could he take a vow of secrecy in front of the people that loved him most, only to sell it on to the one wizard that they had spent their last few years fighting against.
Remus's expression grew pained. "When Voldemort's power was growing, your parents, James and Lily, went into hiding. They used the Fidelius Charm to protect their location, and they chose Sirius as their Secret-Keeper. It seemed like the safest choice. But, we were betrayed. It was Sirius who gave their location to Voldemort."
Harry's face twisted in disbelief and hurt. "But why? If he loved you, if he was their friend, why would he do that?"
Remus shook his head, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I've asked myself that question every day for years. I don't know, Harry. All I know is that the Sirius I loved, the Sirius who was my friend, must have changed. Maybe the war, the fear, the constant danger... something turned him against us."
Seeing the turmoil in Harry's eyes, Remus continued. "That's why Dumbledore and McGonagall are so concerned. Sirius is out there, and he might come after you. They want to keep you safe, and Hogsmeade is just too risky right now."
Harry's fists clenched in frustration. "So, I'm being punished for something that happened before I was born? I can take care of myself!"
Leaning forward, Remus kept his voice gentle, but firm. "Harry, I know it feels that way, but this isn't a punishment. It's about keeping you alive. I've lost too many people I care about. I can't lose you too."
Remus looked away, lost in his own memories. "I remember being banned from Hogsmeade in my later years at Hogwarts because of the threat of Fenrir Greyback.”
In a split second, Harry’s expression changed from frustrated to gentle. “He was the one who…”
“Yes. The one who bit me. But, Bambi, it felt like a prison sentence, being cut off from my friends and the simple joys of life. I understand how you feel. But this is different. The danger is very real."
Harry's anger softened even more as he saw the sincerity in Remus's eyes. "So, you really think this is for the best?"
Remus nodded slowly. "I do. But I also promise you this: we'll find other ways for you to enjoy your time at Hogwarts. You're not alone in this, Harry."
Remus reached out and placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "I care about you, and I want to protect you. Not just because you're James and Lily's son, but because I see so much of them in you. You're brave, and you're strong. But sometimes, even the bravest need to be protected."
Harry looked down at his cup of tea, the steam still rising in gentle spirals. He seemed to be weighing Remus's words carefully. "I just want to feel like I can do something, that I'm not completely helpless."
Remus gave him a reassuring smile. "And you will, Harry. There's a time for action, and there's a time for caution. Right now, we need to be cautious. But your time will come, I promise you."