Chapter 2
The evening was quiet, the kind of quiet that Remus Lupin had grown accustomed to. Their small flat was dimly lit, the only sound the occasional crackle of the fire, or the shuffle as he turned the page of Dickens. He tried to lose himself in the book, but the words blurred together, his mind restless. Sometimes, Remus would get himself into these moods where nothing but the soothing voice of Sirius would help. His mind, buzzing with the thoughts that seemed to take permanent residence in his head, shifted to his love. How in the name of heaven Remus was lucky enough to be granted the gift of one of the most infamous pure-blood heirs in all of England was beyond him.
Remus longed for the comfort of Padfoot’s arm around him, the warmth of his ghostly skin. He was desperate for the smooth lips that adorned Sirius’ face. He was yearning for the grey eyes, a doorway into the soul.
Sirius had gone out tonight in a huff- not directed towards Remus, but it was still confusing. But then again, everything was confusing nowadays what with the ever-growing threat of Voldemort. The Potters were locked away somewhere in England for whatever reason, and it seemed Peter was becoming more and more distant. Yes. Everything was confusing.
Giving up on the book, Remus stood up and slunk to the dimly lit kitchen and waited for the kettle to boil. There was no use trying to focus on the shifting words on the page when Remus was in this state
The kitchen was dimly lit, the only light coming from the soft glow of the moon streaming through the window. The old kettle on the stove started to hiss, a prelude to the boiling water soon to come. He stood there, arms crossed, eyes fixed on the silvery orb hanging in the night sky.
He felt a familiar ache deep within, a reminder of the curse Remus bore. The full moon, so majestic and serene, was the source of his agony, the trigger for his transformation into a deadly creature. It was strange, he mused, how something so breathtakingly beautiful could bring him so much pain. The moonlight danced on the kitchen floor, casting long shadows and creating an ethereal, almost otherworldly atmosphere.
His thoughts drifted to Sirius once again (Remus sniggered at himself- imagining Pads’ reaction if he ever found out how much he was thought about). He wondered if he, too, was looking up at the same moon, feeling the same mixture of awe and dread. The thought brought a small, bittersweet smile to the lythancrope’s lips. They had shared so many nights like this, caught between the wonder of the celestial beauty and the terror it heralded for him.
The kettle whistled, breaking the silence, and he moved to pour the boiling water into a cup, preparing a simple tea to calm his nerves. As he did, he kept glancing back at the moon, unable to tear his eyes away for long. It was as if it held him captive, its light a reminder of the duality of his existence—half human, half beast.
Did Sirius think of him in these moments? Did he understand the turmoil that such nights brought? He hoped so. He needed that connection, that understanding, to anchor him through the storm that was bound to come.
The tea was ready, but he let it sit, the steam curling up in delicate tendrils. He leaned against the counter, still gazing out at the moon.
Suddenly, a silver streak shot through the window. A Patronus, shimmering and ethereal, took form. A Phoenix. Dumbledore’s. The calm voice that followed was anything but soothing.
“James and Lily are dead. Harry is alive.”
Remus distantly heard the smash, signalling the mug had fallen from his hands as he staggered back, his legs giving out. His mind refused to process the words. Dead. How could they be dead?
The broken pieces lay forgotten on the floor as Remus's mind spun. Dead. The word echoed in his head, relentless and unyielding. Dead. James and Lily, gone in an instant. The room felt colder, the shadows deeper, as the reality of the situation sank in. His best friends, his family, ripped away. Dead. And Sirius... where the fuck was Sirius?
The next few moments were a blur. Remus felt himself moving, but his mind was elsewhere, trapped in the horror of Dumbledore's message. Dead. He needed to understand, needed to know what had truly happened.
Suddenly, a loud knock on the door broke through his haze. He opened it to find a solemn-faced Dumbledore standing there, holding a small, crying bundle wrapped in blankets. The weight of the world seemed to rest on the old wizard’s shoulders.
"Remus," Dumbledore said softly, his voice filled with sorrow. "May I come in?"
Remus stepped aside, his eyes never leaving the bundle. Harry. It had to be Harry. He watched as Dumbledore entered and gently laid the baby on the sofa. Harry’s cries were heart-wrenching, and Remus’s heart ached at the sight.
"James and Lily..." Remus began, his voice breaking.
Dumbledore nodded gravely. "They're gone, Remus. Voldemort found them. It appears that Sirius... he betrayed them. He was their Secret Keeper."
The words hit Remus like a physical blow. He staggered back, gripping the edge of the table for support. "No," he whispered. "Not Sirius. He wouldn't... he couldn't."
"I'm afraid it's true," Dumbledore continued. "He killed Peter Pettigrew and a dozen Muggles before he was captured. He's been sent to Azkaban."
Remus felt his legs give out, and he sank into a chair, burying his face in his hands. The betrayal was too much to bear. Sirius, the man he loved, had destroyed everything. How did Remus not notice.
Sirius didn’t leave in anger that evening. The cold demeanour was full of hate and cruelty. Remus thought with venom- a Black can never change.
The pain was unbearable, a raw, gaping wound in his soul. But it had shifted, now the pain was borne from the incredible anger welling inside, an anger that could bring down the world if needs be.
"Harry needs you, Remus," Dumbledore said gently, breaking through his despair. "You're the only family he has left. Will you take him in?"
Remus looked up, tears streaming down his face. He saw the tiny baby on the sofa, innocent and helpless.
He sat on the worn-out couch, staring blankly at the old, gnarled figure standing before him. Dumbledore’s presence was both comforting and unnerving, his eyes filled with a wisdom that seemed to pierce through his very soul.
"You must take him," he almost whispered, his voice soft but insistent. "Harry needs you, now more than ever."
Remus shook his head, the weight of the request pressing down on him. "I can't," he replied, his voice full of agony. "Not like this. I'm a danger to everyone around me."
The old man stepped closer, his eyes never leaving Lupin’s. "You underestimate your strength and your heart. The child needs someone who understands pain and fear, someone who can protect them."
Remus looked away; his gaze drawn to the moonlight streaming through the window. It was beautiful, yet it brought him nothing but pain. "You don’t understand. The full moon... it changes me. I can't control it. What if I hurt him!?"
The elder sighed, a sound filled with centuries of sorrow and experience. "The child has already seen too much pain. He needs love, guidance, and protection. You can give him that. Yes, there is a risk, but life is full of risks. The bond you will form with the child can give you the strength to control the beast within."
Lupin’s heart ached at the thought. He wanted to believe Dumbledore, wanted to be the person the infant needed, but the fear was overwhelming. "I don't even know how to be a parent," he said, his voice cracking. "I’m barely holding myself together."
Albus placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Parenthood is not about perfection. It's about love, sacrifice, and trying your best. The child needs someone who will fight for them, someone who will stand by them no matter what. And that someone is you."
Remus felt a tear slip down his cheek, the enormity of the responsibility crashing over him. "What if I fail?" he whispered, his voice breaking.
"Failure is not trying. You have already shown courage in facing your own demons. Now, show that same courage for your best friend’s son. He needs you, and in turn, you may find he gives you the strength to face your own fears."
Remus looked up at the wizard, seeing the truth in his words. The fear was still there, gnawing at him, but beneath it was a spark of something else- hope. Perhaps, in caring for the child, he could find a way to control the beast within. Perhaps, he could find a new purpose, a new reason to fight.
Taking a deep breath, he nodded slowly. "I'll try," he said, the words feeling both terrifying and liberating. "I'll take Harry."
Dumbledore smiled, an expression that softened his ancient features.
The night was long and filled with tears. Remus sat by the fire, holding Harry close as he cried for his lost friends and for the betrayal of the man he had loved. The weight of his new responsibility was overwhelming, but he knew he couldn't let Harry down.
As the fire flickered and cast dancing shadows on the walls, Remus’s thoughts turned to Peter. Peter, who had always been the meek, quiet one in their group. The one who looked up to the others with a mixture of awe and admiration. Remus remembered Peter’s nervous laughter, his constant need for reassurance, and his unwavering loyalty. The realization that Peter was gone, murdered by Sirius in cold blood, added another layer of grief. Peter, who had been their friend, their brother, was gone forever.
Tears streamed down Remus’s face as he thought of James. James, with his wild hair and mischievous grin, always ready for an adventure. James, who had stood by him through the darkest times, who had fought for what was right, and who had loved his family with a fierce devotion. The memory of James’s laughter, his endless pranks, and his unwavering courage pierced Remus's heart. He had lost not just a friend, but a brother. James’s absence left a void that could never be filled.
Then there was Lily. Sweet, kind, brilliant Lily. Her fiery spirit, her fierce intelligence, and her boundless capacity for love had always been a beacon of light in their lives. Remus recalled her gentle smile, her comforting presence, and the way she had accepted him without hesitation. She had been the heart of their group, the one who had brought them all together. Losing Lily felt like losing a piece of his own soul. She had been a sister to him, a source of strength and compassion.
But the deepest wound, the most unbearable pain, came from the betrayal of Sirius. Sirius, the man he had loved, trusted, and shared his life with. Sirius, with his infectious laugh, his rebellious spirit, and his unwavering loyalty—had it all been a lie? The thought tore at Remus's heart. How could Sirius, his Sirius, have done something so monstrous? The memories of their time together, the love they had shared, now felt tainted and hollow. Remus felt his world shatter as the reality of Sirius’s betrayal sank in. It was a wound that might never heal.
Cradling Harry in his arms, Remus allowed himself to mourn. Tears fell from his honey-coloured eyes, dropping onto Harry’s newly adorned scar. The child shifted slightly in his sleep, a small whimper escaping his lips. Remus held him closer, his heart breaking for the innocent life now marked by tragedy.
He had lost everyone he had ever loved in one night. The pain was almost too much to bear, a suffocating weight on his chest. But as he looked down at Harry, he knew he had to be strong. For James, for Lily, and even for Peter. He had to protect this child, the last remaining piece of the friends he had lost.
And as for Sirius... Remus vowed to never think of him again. The man he had loved was gone, replaced by a traitor he could no longer bear to remember. He would let sleeping dogs lie, burying the memories of Sirius deep within his heart, where they could no longer hurt him. Sirius was dead to him now, a ghost of a past that had been shattered beyond repair.
As dawn broke, Remus whispered softly to Harry, a promise and a vow. "I will protect you, Harry. I will give you the love and care your parents would have wanted. We will get through this together."
With that, Remus felt a glimmer of hope. The past was a heavy burden, but the future held a purpose. He had Harry. They had each other. And together, they would face whatever came next.