Spring was Shauna’s favourite time of year, and not just because it marked the end of winter. The forest thawed and began to smell like pine and lush plant growth so heady she could taste it. The busy noise of birds and her friends was a comfort after three months quiet death, except for that last part.
A biting wind reminded Shauna that the mountains were still covered in snow when she took off her shoes and jacket, intending to rinse off in the lake.
Her skin bristled against cold, tiny little bumps scattered across her arms and thighs. Usually, the fridged wind would have bothered Shauna, but after thinking she’d not live to see the sun again, she decided not to complain.
There was still dried blood under her nails and staining her legs, not in heavy splotches but in smears and tucked into creases.
She stripped down to her underwear and moved towards the lapping water of the lake.
She should have expected the water to be cold, but the sting surprised the tips of her toes. She turned around, looking at her clothes and reconsidered the idea of bathing altogether.
But then she recalled the smell, tangy copper mixed with rot. Her friends did the best they could to clean her, but it was as if the smell was rubbed across her nose. She had to get clean.
With a deep breath, Shauna took off into a sprint and dived into the water. Her body seized like she’d been struck by lightening. Unforgiving cold swallowed her and she ached with the reminder of childbirth.
She thought about the rock she’d buried him under and was worried it was too heavy, or if the ground was too cold. She hoped it felt the same way being underwater felt. Cold but not suffocating.
She burst back out of the water, wiping the water from her eyes. Her jaw trembled and her fingers were blue, but she’d committed and would just have to make it quick.
She rubbed under her arms and the back of her knees with her bare hands, removing layers of sweat and dirt and blood. By the time she’d felt clean the water didn’t feel cold anymore, she was numb.
Pebbles rustling on the shoreline made her whip around. Melissa was standing with folded clothes in her hands and her eyes were wide. She held up the clothes in her hands.
‘Fresh clothes, if you want them.’ She mumbled, placing the clothes next to the ones Shauna had left on the shoreline.
glared at her in hopes she would retreat from Shauna like most of the girls did. Instead, she just stared at Shauna, standing waist deep in the water wearing the tattered remnants of a bra stained by sweat.
Mel nodded – though Shauna hadn’t said anything - and stumbled backwards.
‘I’ll see you at, ahhh... dinner!’ Mel called, now jogging into the treeline.
Shauna watched her leave, sinking back into the water once Mel’s dirty blonde hair had disappeared.