“Sirius Orion Black, get down here, this instant.” Walburga’s voice was oddly calm, her usual anger not present in her tone.
Sirius sauntered down the stairs, winking at the portraits as they scoffed in disgust, feeling the rickety floorboards of the ancient staircase creak beneath his scuffed up Doc Martens.
“Yes Mother Dearest?” Sirius smirked, in a sickly—overly sarcastic sweet tone which earned him a slap, Walburga’s rings sharply digging in to his cheekbones yet the force was not enough to make him bleed.
“A little Birdie told me you have been getting quite close with that Lupin boy, am I correct to assume that?” Sirius attempted to swallow the growing lump in his throat.
“Yes—Remus, is my friend.” He cringed inwardly at himself, he and Remus were far more than friends they’d established that a long time ago.
“Ah, tsk, tsk, but he is more than that, he is your lover!” She splayed out countless letters dating from the summer two years ago up until this October of 6th year across the dining room table. Although Sirius and Remus had been dating longer than that they didn’t write as frequently due to Remus’s worry of Sirius getting in trouble.
Sirius swallowed, not daring to look at his mother, her words piercing his ears like daggers.
“Look at me when I am speaking Sirius. Honestly to think I spent all of that money on a governess, only for you to be ill-mannered!” She exclaimed, then laughed haughtily like it was some kind of joke to her.
Sirius was not laughing.
“How long?” Her tone became icy.
He looked up at her, meeting her steel grey eyes.
He didn’t answer.
Sirius you do realise the shame you bring upon this family, correct? you are the heir to the most noble house of Black. For generations we blacks have wielded great responsibility, upheld traditions far greater than any of those of that filthy—“ He cut her off will a snarl, his blood beginning to boil.
“Fuck century traditions! He’s my boyfriend, I love him and I should be allowed to love who I love freely. He is not a filthy half-breed as you claim him out to be!”
“Oh honey, I never said anything about him being a half-breed? Those were your words. Maybe you aren’t so different from your family after all Sirius, maybe amongst all this rage, you are voicing your true opinion, hmm?” She gave him a sickeningly innocent look, her tone cool and condescending.
“Fuck. Off. You malicious wench! Remus is my world, part of my soul, part of my existence, and—and I’m going to marry him one day so I can be rid of you and this wretched family and this wretched…”
“That is no way to talk to the woman who raised you!” She seethed.
What Sirius didn’t realise that amidst his screaming match with his mother, she’d drawn her wand, the top resting under his chin.
Walburga’s eyes glazed with pleasure as she almost sung the word.
“Crucio.”
White-hot, searing pain coursed through Sirius’s body, he felt as though a thousand pocket knives were stabbing him relentlessly making him tremor with a blood-curdling scream.
“You dare speak to your mother that way darling, you ought to learn your lesson. This should do nicely.”
Orion didn’t even glance up from his paper, maybe in fear of his wife?, obligation?, negligence?, who knows?
~~~
Regulus sobbed into his palm, his brothers screams of pain and fear, ringing in his ears. The stairs creaked and he silently cursed himself, if his mother or father were to catch him the consequences would be severe. Screaming continued, making Regulus curl into himself, palms pressed so tightly against his head, there was a possibly he could’ve crushed his skull.
The stairs shuddered with movement and Regulus hurried to collect himself, standing thin straight, head held high, lips pressed into a thin line.
Normal.
As if he hadn’t just heard Sirius screaming and begging their parents to stop. Regulus had never heard him beg like that before.
“Regulus, legillimacy test, your brother is hiding things and you know he’s a hard cookie to break. I want to know if you know anything.” Orion’s voice was cold but Regulus sensed the anger coursing through his veins, due to the belligerent almost wild, deranged look in his eye.
“Yes Father.”
Regulus fought and resisted, keeping his memories of Sirius and Remus locked away, along with the memories of him and James. The feeling of his father exploring the other corners of his mind made nauseating waves roll around his stomach.
James and him, holding hands walking by the black lake in the early hours of a spring morning. Them kissing under the mistletoe, Sirius and Barty egging them on.
Remus and Sirius on a picnic date in Hogsmeade which James, Regulus and Peter decided to spy on. Remus and Sirius making out in an intense game of truth or dare in the Gryffindor common room after a quidditch victory.
James and Regulus exchanging “I love you”
Regulus smiled at the thought, his concentration and hope to keep secrets safe snapping like a twig on an autumn walk.
“No—“ Regulus pleaded but the damage was already done.
In one swift motion Orion had grabbed Regulus by the collar of his shirt and pinned him against the wall, Regulus felt the wind being knocked out of him and the need for air increase.
“You and Potter, that outrageous blood-traitor who has corrupted your brother? Now he’s trying to corrupt you too.” Regulus wheezed as he tried to get out a reply.
“No fa—“ The pressure on his neck only seemed to increase, black and white spots dancing around his vision.
Regulus never thought he’d seen his father this angry, that was usually his mother. Orion was a stoic, cold, nonchalant man, often ignoring his wife’s tirades in favour of his liquor or the daily prophet.
“You dare insult me like this, boy! You were supposed to be better! Better than the disgrace that is Sirius Orion Black, but you Regulus Arcturus are nothing but the same! Blood traitors cut from the very same cloth.”
With such anger, Regulus had been tossed down the stairs like a doll who had been stripped of their clothes, their privacy naked to the wandering eye.
The screaming stopped.
The shouting started.
The pain started.
The tears started.
The sobs started.
~~~
Sirius blinked open his eyes, immediately hissing at the pain he was in. He still lay on the floor close to the dining table, blood soaked through his hair like curl cream. He could feel the blood pooling down his left cheek and the excruciating sensation travelling up his arm, that was most likely broken.
For once the house was serene, although, it wasn’t long until Walburga was dragging him into his father’s study, his knees buckling as he was forced into a chair next to Regulus…who was crying?
Sirius frantically scanned over Regulus, silent tears cascading down his ashen cheeks, his left shoulder that had clearly been popped out, dried blood sitting at his hairline and bruises blooming around his neck.
“Regulus…seen as your dear, dear brother failed to supply us with the answers we’re looking for, we shall ask you.” Sirius’s blood ran cold at Orion’s words.
“How long has Sirius been seducing that lupin boy?” He shuddered, like the name pained him to say.
Regulus sat there silent.
A lacero was shot at him, making him whimper.
“Answer the question.”
Silence.
“Very well, how long have you been fooling around with that potter fellow?”
Regulus shook his head.
“Lacero.”
The cut ran deep across Regulus’s forearm.
He didn’t move.
“Speak, there is much more information to be found out.”
“No.”
“What do you mean no, you little brat?” Walburga grabbed him by the cheek forcing him to look at her.
“I said no!” It all happened so fast, the curse had left his mother’s tongue and within a split second Sirius was spelled to the chair, forced to witness his baby brother writhe on the plush, blood-stained rug, as he begged for the pain to stop, raw, guttural sounds tearing from his throat.
“Stop! Stop! You’re hurting him! Stop!” Sirius thrashed in his chair, desperate to shield Regulus from harm.
“Don’t you see Sirius? Your actions have consequences… tell me do you like seeing your brother begging for help?” Orion’s breath reeked of whiskey.
“No, stop! Please stop it!” Sirius was sobbing now, trying desperately to free himself from his chair.
“Then I suggest, you fall in line.” Orion smiled. It was horrific, and with a pat on the shoulder him and his mother were gone.
Sirius lept from his chair, cradling Regulus in his arms.
“Oh Reggie, I’m so sorry, I’m supposed to protect you, oh Reggie why didn’t you say anything?”
“Didn’t wan’ hurt, you and Re-mus” Regulus slurred, still trembling from the curse.
“Come on, I’ll write to James, tell him we’re coming, we can’t stay here any longer Reg.”
Regulus nodded, standing on shaky legs, and leaning heavily on Sirius who fetched some parchment, an ink pot and a quill.
“I’ll write this quickl—“ Regulus gave him a pointed look.
“I’ll write it, your handwriting’s shit.” Regulus croaked and held his shaky hand out for the parchment, but Sirius just gasped dramatically.
“James won’t be able to read your fancy squiggly bullshit and your hands are shaking.”
“So are yours.”
Sirius and Regulus squabbled for a good five minutes to which, Regulus gave in and let Sirius scrawl out the letter, claiming he didn’t have the energy for Sirius’s antics.
The pair creeped out of the study, at a snails pace, pain still excruciating, fetching Penelope, the black family owl from her perch, watching as she flew away with the letter in tow.
Regulus and Sirius leaned on one another as they attempted to make their way down to the floo in the drawing room.
The walk felt like hours and the pair were careful to avoid any creaking floorboards, Sirius nearly stepping on a few which caused Regulus to grab Sirius’s arm to yank him away.
“Come on Siri, last few steps.” Regulus tugged Sirius’s good arm, as he grit his teeth through the pain, breathing becoming laboured.
Sirius smiled, the floo was in sight, they were going to be okay.
“Crucio.”
Sirius and Regulus fell, like puppets with their strings cut.
~~~
James paced around the living room panicking. He had gotten a letter from Sirius saying he and Regulus were coming, because it had gotten really bad, he had said they’d be there at 10:20, the clock now read 12:46.
“Love, I’m sure they’ll be here. They may have just been caught up.” Effie tried to soothe, but she knew it wasn’t working and she didn’t believe what was coming out of her mouth. There’s no, getting “Caught up” in the noble house of Black.
“Maybe, I’m going to owl Remus, I have a feeling it’s going to be bad and I think Sirius will appreciate Remus being here.”
Effie just nodded, Fleamont giving her a kiss on the crown of her head.
“Oh boys, where are you?” Effie mumbled, staring wearily at the floo.
~~~
‘Dear Remus,
Hiya moons, so sorry it’s late but I got a letter from pads earlier and he said him and Reg are coming here, said it got bad with their parents. That was almost three hours ago, now I’m worried sick Rem. What if something horrific happened? Or what if their parents caught them? Or…I don’t know Rem and it’s stressing me out! I was hoping you’d be able to come over…just incase. Sirius will want you here and you’re the only one who can really get through to him when he gets really frantic and I just think he’d appreciate you being here.
Owl me as soon as you get this.
-James.’
James began pacing again and it wasn’t until the whoosh of the floo, did James see Remus fall through, in his usual grandpa jumper and brown trousers, holding an extra jumper under his arm and an abundance of chocolate.
“Still nothing?” Remus whispered, to which he received shaking of heads.
“Remus dear, does hope know you’re here?” Effie asked, breaking their hug for a moment.
“Yes, she knows, told her it got really bad with Sirius’s parents and that I was going to wait with all of you, we all know she loves Sirius more than me, so she made sure I had chocolate and a Jumper and told me to keep her posted.” He cracked a light smile at the memory of his mum saying she loved Sirius more than him, when he first introduced the pair.
The four of them all sat down, making themselves comfortable and waited.
~~~
Regulus awoke with a groan, his body felt heavy and the pain still white-hot like a knife.
He didn’t remember much, the only recollection he had was their mother using the cruciartus curse on both him and Sirius, he’d passed out early on, his head pounding and throat aching from the screaming.
He turned to his left, Sirius, still passed out. There was more blood staining their dress shirts, dried blood stuck in Sirius’s curls and a purple bruise forming on his cheekbone.
Regulus dragged himself into a sitting position, resisting the urge to scream in agony, as he grabbed Sirius by the shoulders and dragged him into the floo, grabbing a fistful of flop powder before letting the green flames engulf them with the words of ‘Potter Manor.’
Regulus’s stomach churned as he suppressed the urge to throw up, still trembling as he and Sirius tumbled into the Potter’s living room.
~~~
“Regulus? Sirius?” James almost cried as a loud thud woke him from his restless slumber.
“Siri…Siri, wake up! Please wake up…” Regulus cried, hitting at Sirius with no real force, as he came to the realisation he still wasn’t awake. James was by his side in an instant, so were Effie, Monty and Remus.
James scooped Regulus up, moving to sit on the sofa, with him in his lap, rocking him gently as he cried violently into his jumper.
“Hey love, oh honey, it’s alright, it’s going to be okay, don’t worry I’m here, I’m here amor.”
~~~
“Sirius…sweetheart?” Sirius only hummed in response to Remus, cracking his eyes open a tad, which Remus could see were brimmed with tears.
“Oh, annwyl..” Remus pulled Sirius into his chest, letting him cry as much as he needed, slowly rubbing his back as he shook with tears.
~~~
Effie picked up her wand and cast a quick diagnostic spell, turning to Monty with a pitiful look, then turning to look at James and Regulus, the latter curled into his lap, James brushing his curls away from his face, trying to soothe him a little.
“Sirius, honey, I need to fix up your injuries, so they don’t get infected…can you let me do that?” Her tone was gentle and motherly, although her heart ached when she reached to place her wand in her lap causing him to flinch.
Sirius lifted his head from Remus’s shoulder and looked to him for reassurance, being met with a warm smile and a soft nod. Effie couldn’t help but smile at the pair, looking so content and in love. Sirius turned to her and nodded slightly, looking a little hesitant.
“Okay, I’m going to apply this salve to the cuts and bruises, then I’ll bandage some of the deeper ones.” Sirius hissed as he felt the bandages being tightly wrapped around his arm, cuts stinging slightly but overall better than before.
He also took note of the fact that, the dried blood was cleaned out of his hair, making him feel more human than he did before.
“Sirius, could I have your arm, I need to put the bone back into the right place.” Remus seethed with anger, knowing that Sirius’s so called ‘parents’ broke his arm.
Sirius didn’t even say anything, gently extending his arm into Effie’s reach, fisting Remus’s jumper with the other.
“It’s okay love, I’m here.”
Sirius squeezed his eyes shut, arm being put in the correct place with a sickening crack, causing him to cry out in pain.
“Sirius? Sirius! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, it was my fault, I’m sorry.” Regulus sounded frantic as he heard Sirius cry.
“Reg, I’m okay, I promise, Ce n'est pas de ta faute Reg, ne sois pas désolé, je t'aime petite étoile.” Sirius spoke, French rattling off of his tongue.
“Remus, I trust you’ll be better at getting Sirius to take these than I will, make sure he does. I need to check on Regulus.” Remus nodded, taking the potions, Effie stood up and gently sat on the sofa next to James and Regulus.
“Pads come on…please?” Remus pleaded, Sirius still shook his head.
“I have some of that white chocolate you and Ma like, she gave it to me before I came, she was worried. Sirius perked up at this.
“But I’ll only give it to you, if you take these.” Remus bargained, and within a minute Sirius had taken the potions, not only was he feeling a little better, but to Remus he looked more himself.
“Courtesy of Hope.” Remus handed him the chocolate, a little note plastered to the front of it ‘Eat, you’ll feel better.’ -love, Hope.
Sirius smiled, carefully placing her note aside before nibbling on the bar.
“I love you Moony.”
“I love you more Pads.”
~~~
“Regulus darling, I’m going to do a diagnostic spell, is that okay?” Regulus just nodded, feeling slightly numb in James’s arms.
Effie sighed, and James looked so incredibly upset, oh how the look on his face made Regulus want to burst into tears, he never wanted James to feel sad because of him, hell, he never wanted James to feel sad, he wanted to forbid it from ever being allowed to happen.
“Regulus, I’m going to use the same salve and bandages I used for Sirius, is that alright?”
Regulus shook his head, he didn’t want her hands on him, he couldn’t, he couldn’t do it…he didn’t want….
“No…no, no, no…No!” Regulus shouted as he began to tremble.
“Regulus—“
“No!” Regulus shouted again as Monty, who was giving Sirius another vial he had forgotten to hand to Effie tried to reason with him.
“Regulus, how about James does it would that be okay?” Sirius suggested, he knew how touchy Regulus had always been about physical contact, abuse or not, even as a child before things began to go seriously wrong with Walburga and Orion, Regulus hated anyone but Sirius or Kreacher touching him.
Regulus just gave a small nod, looking up to James who gave him a nod and a smile.
James took the bandages and began wrapping cuts, eyes softening at the deeper ones that littered his forearms, from his mother’s Lacero no doubt, applying globs of salve into bruises and massaging the harmed skin with such care, Regulus thought he was going to cry again, he also cleaned the blood off of his face and from his hair, placing a kiss to the top of his head when he was done.
“Oh Reggie, I’m so sorry darling, I promise they won’t ever lay a hand on you ever again. They don’t deserve to have someone as perfect as you are, oh sorry, was that too tight? I won’t ever hurt you like they did, I’m going to shower you in so much love, so you’ll never have to feel the cold of when you get out. I’ll love you for eternity Mi Estrella.” Regulus met James’s eyes, bursting at the seams with love, he couldn’t do anything but let the tears flow down his cheeks.
James pulled him into a tender kiss, resting his forehead against Regulus’s and wiping the stray tears from his pale cheeks with his index finger.
“Regulus dear, am I okay to see your shoulder? I think it may have popped out.” Regulus turned to her, only just registering what she said, nodding, tears sprang in his eyes again which made Effie’s heart ache.
“I’m sorry.” Regulus whispered so quietly it was hard for Effie to hear him, James had moved from the sofa to get some more potions from Monty, leaving Effie with him and Remus and Sirius whispering quietly to each other.
“Why are you sorry dear?” Regulus let out a sob, Effie letting him cry opening her arms for him, a silent invitation, which she was happy he took. Altered by his brother crying, Sirius, with the help of Remus had come and sat down with them.
“For shouting at you, and Mr Potter, and Because…it’s my, it’s my fault, that, that Siri got hurt, father used legilimancy on me…I tried to keep, to keep him away, but I thought about James saying, he l…l…loved me and I lost my concentration. He saw everything….then he umm, threw me down the stairs. I’m sorry Siri, I’m sorry Rem…Je suis désolé, je suis désolé, je suis désolé, je—“
“Dear, we’re more concerned, you’re alright. That absolutely should not have happened.” Effie looked angry by the end of her sentence, calming a little when Monty touched her shoulder.
“He did what?” Sirius, Remus and James (who had now entered the room with potions) questioned.
“Reg, no one blames you, we blame that sick fuck, for what he did.” Remus looked him in the eye, a determined look, before rubbing his shoulder.
“Exactly.” James leant down and kissed Reg on the crown of his head, eyes murderous, Regulus had to admit it was a little hot.
“Reg, je suis désolé que tu aies été blessé, ça aurait dû être moi, pas toi, je suis tellement désolé, petite étoile.” Sirius riddled off, Remus and James only knowing a few words and phrases.
“Grande étoile, ce n'est pas de ta faute, j'ai choisi de te protéger, d'accord ? Maintenant, plus d'excuses, je suis fatigué.” Regulus sighed and Sirius cracked a small smile.
Regulus took the potions James handed him with a grimace, Effie then declaring she still needed to put his shoulder back in place.
James murmured sweet nothings into Reg’s as he swore with the force his hand was being gripped, it’d snap off, not that he’d tell Reg that.
“Well done amor, I love you.” James whispered into his ear.
“Love you too Jamie.”
“Get some rest boys.” Effie left with Monty, likely going to bed.
“Goodnight boys.” Monty spoke, to which they all replied ‘goodnight’ before he too disappeared up the stairs.
“The bee movie?” Sirius suggested, James cheered, while Regulus and Remus groaned, knowing that the two knob heads they were in love with could recite the whole thing front to back.
Although, Reg being in James’s arms, curled into his warm torso, he didn’t mind as much. Looking over seeing Remus with a fake annoyed look on his face, as Sirius slowly started to fall asleep, head leaning onto the his shoulder at the start of the film, Remus didn’t seem to mind, instead, taking his tanned fingers through Sirius’s curls, planting a chaste kiss to his forehead.
You see, Sirius and Regulus were far from okay, but with due time, they would learn to live with everything they’d experienced, they would learn to overcome the challenges their so called ‘family’ had put in front of them, they’d conquer each step, one at a time, not a step too soon. It would be a battle yes, but this is the Black brothers we’re talking about. If anyone knows how to battle and come out the other side, it would be them. Darkness and pain aren’t forever, there will always be light, if you search hard enough for it. Sometimes that light is a place, sometimes that light is a thing, sometimes that light is a person, sometimes that light is people, sometimes that light is all three. The truth is there is no such thing as erasing trauma and hardship, there is only searching for your ‘okay’ in life and with the help of places, things, people, Effie, Monty, Hope, Peter, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, Mary, Barty, Evan, Pandora, Remus and James, soon enough Sirius and Regulus would be able to write their own definition of okay, and live because they knew they’d always be okay.