The soft hum of cameras filled the dimly lit studio, flashes bouncing off the pristine white backdrop. Alex sat poised on the velvet chair, a delicate smile gracing her lips, answering questions with the ease of someone who had mastered the art of public appearances.
Her latest film was the talk of the industry, her chemistry with her co-star is undeniable. The interview was routine, predictable even, until the host's voice cut through the practiced atmosphere with an unexpected question.
"May special someone ka ba ngayon, Alex?"
Her fingers tensed slightly against her lap. She had rehearsed this answer before, countless times in the mirror, with her manager, with him.
"Oo naman," she responded, the smile never faltering. "Sobrang swerte ko nga."
The audience chuckled, and the host leaned forward, eyes gleaming with curiosity. "Si Nico ba?"
She laughed lightly, feigning shyness as she nodded. "Sino pa ba?"
It was the answer they all wanted. The perfect narrative. A rising actress, a promising career, a handsome leading man by her side. It was clean. Acceptable. Expected.
But under the table, hidden from the cameras, her thumb brushed against the red string bracelet wrapped snugly around her wrist.
She shouldn't have worn it. She never took it off.
The bracelet was old, slightly frayed at the edges, strong. It still fits perfectly in her wrist. The same way their love had been.
"Mukhang masaya ka talaga," the host added, tilting her head. "Iba 'yung glow mo ngayon."
Alex swallowed.
If only they knew.
If only they had seen her, months ago, standing in a cramped art studio, watching as Iris dragged her brush across a canvas, lost in the colors of their love.
"Ako ulit?" Alex had asked then, her voice barely above a whisper.
Iris didn’t look up, only adding another stroke of deep crimson against the canvas. "Kasi ikaw ang gusto kong ipinta."
The painting had been a quiet confession, an image only the two of them truly understood. Two figures bathed in soft, golden light—one resting against the other, faces barely visible, blurred just enough to keep their secret safe. But the image of intimacy, vulnerability, was unmistakable.
"Paano kung may makakita?" Alex had asked.
Iris had only smiled, pressing a soft kiss against her knuckles. "Then let them wonder."
Now, months later, the painting hung in her apartment, hidden behind a curtain where no one else could see it.
"Alex?" The host’s voice snapped her back to the present. "Parang napaisip ka naman bigla."
She forced a small laugh, shaking her head. "Naalala ko lang kung gaano ako kaswerte."
And in some ways, it was true. She had everything she had ever worked for.
Everything, except the one person she truly wanted.
‧₊˚✩彡
The restaurant was expensive, the kind of place people went to see and be seen. White linen tablecloths, soft candlelight, waiters in neatly pressed uniforms gliding between tables. Nico sat across from her, effortlessly charming, speaking about his upcoming projects, their latest film, the buzz around their relationship.
Alex nodded, smiled where appropriate, even reached for his hand once, letting their fingers lace together in a picture-perfect display of romance. The cameras outside would capture it all.
Proof.
“Ang tahimik mo yata ngayon,” Nico noted, giving her hand a light squeeze. “Pagod ka ba?”
She blinked, momentarily disoriented. “Medyo,” she admitted, though exhaustion wasn’t the reason for her silence.
Nico continued talking, but her mind was elsewhere. Her eyes shifted to the large glass window beside them, where beyond the flickering city lights, she spotted something that made her stomach tighten—a small cafe just across the street.
A place she had not been in for months. A place where, once, she had spent countless afternoons sipping coffee, listening to Iris talk about colors and shadows, letting Iris trace the contours of her face in quick, effortless strokes on a sketchpad.
“Babe, may gusto kang dessert?” Nico asked, oblivious to her drifting attention.
“Okay na babe. I'm full na rin,” she murmured, eyes still locked on the cafe’s sign, the faded lettering that once welcomed her home.
A mistake. That’s what loving Iris was. A mistake. A sin. A love that had no place in the world she was trying to build.
But if it was so wrong, then why did it still feel like the only thing that was real?
‧₊˚✩彡
She barely heard Nico when he dropped her off. The moment his car disappeared down the road, she turned on her heel, heart pounding against her chest as she walked the familiar path to Iris’s apartment.
The city lights reflected against the glass of the apartment window as Alex hesitated at the door. Her fingers curled into a fist before she could stop herself, knuckles tapping softly against the wood.
The weight of the evening clung to her—Nico’s hand on hers, the flash of cameras, the suffocating applause. But none of it compared to the quiet pull she felt toward this place, toward Iris.
The door creaked open just enough for Alex to see the silhouette of the woman she had spent years trying—and failing—to let go of.
"Bakit ka nandito, Alex?" Iris’s voice was quiet but firm. The dim light from the street barely illuminated her face, but Alex could hear the exhaustion in her tone.
Alex didn’t answer immediately. She stepped inside instead, closing the door behind her. The darkness swallowed them, but she knew this space. She had memorized every corner, every painting hung on the walls, each one carrying fragments of their past.
"Iris…"
Silence. Then, a sharp inhale.
"Napanood ko yung interview mo," Iris whispered. Her voice was unsteady, cracking at the edges.
Alex flinched. Of course. She should’ve expected this.
"Iris—"
A quiet sob cut through the darkness. Alex's chest tightened as she reached forward, her hands searching, finding the warmth of Iris’s arms. Iris didn’t move, didn’t resist as Alex pulled her close. The tremble of her shoulders against Alex’s own was enough to break her.
Their lips met in desperation.
It wasn’t soft. It wasn’t careful. It was all the words Alex had swallowed, all the apologies she never said, all the longing she tried to bury. Fingers tangled in hair, hands pressed against skin, breaths uneven and needy. It was Iris pulling Alex in, it was Alex letting herself fall—
Until Iris suddenly stopped.
Alex barely caught her breath when Iris spoke, her voice almost a whisper but cutting through her like a knife.
"Hindi ba may boyfriend ka na?"
Silence.
"Mahal mo ba ako?"
Alex felt her throat tighten.
"Kung mahal mo ako, bakit pangalawa lang ako sa puso mo? Bakit hindi mo iwan ang bo—"
Alex stepped back sharply, shoving Iris away. "Huwag mo akong pilitin! Hindi ganun kadali—"
"Hindi ganun kadali?" Iris laughed bitterly. "Hindi ganun kadali piliin ako?"
Alex clenched her fists. "Iris… hindi mo naiintindihan. Hindi lang ikaw ang mawawala sa’kin. Ang pangarap ko, ang buhay na binuo ko—"
"At ako? Alex, ako? Ako ba, hindi parte ng buhay mo?" Iris’s voice was rising now, raw and hurt. "Tingin mo ba hindi ko alam? Hindi mo lang ako pinili kasi hindi mo matanggap ang sarili mo. Alex, wala kang ibang kalaban kundi sarili mo. At hanggang ngayon, natatakot ka pa rin!"
"Hindi ako natatakot!" Alex shot back, though even she wasn’t convinced.
Iris scoffed. "Oo, Alex. Natatakot ka. Natatakot kang mahalin ako ng buo. Natatakot kang tanggapin na ako ang mahal mo."
Alex opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Because Iris was right.
A beat of silence stretched between them, heavy and suffocating. Then, Iris exhaled shakily.
"I deserve better, Alex. Ayokong maging pangalawa. Ayokong maging kabit, Alex. Hindi ko gustong maging kasalanan ‘tong pagmamahal ko."
Alex felt her heart drop. "Iris…"
"Alam mo, kung paano ko pinapahalagahan ang pagmamahal," Iris continued, voice trembling. "Etong meron sa atin? Hindi ‘to pagmamahal. Dahil kung mahal mo ako, hindi mo pipiliin si Nico. Ako nauna, Alex. Ako yung nandito para sa’yo. Pero bakit si Nico lang kaya mong ipagmalaki?"
Alex felt her world crumbling. "Iris, hindi ganun—"
"Kung iniisip mong galit ako, oo, Alex. Galit na galit ako." Iris’s voice broke. "Kasi alam ko. Alam ko kung anong pagmamahal ang gusto mo. Kaya kong ibigay sa’yo ‘yon, Alex. Pero hindi mo hinahayaan ‘yung sarili mong maging malaya."
Iris turned away, wiping at her tears. "Masama man marinig ‘to, pero, Alex… hanggang kailan ka magtatago? Hanggang kailan mo matatanggap na iba ka? Hanggang kailan ka magpapanggap?"
Alex had no answer.
The weight of those words settled in her chest, suffocating, damning. Iris wasn’t just angry—she was done.
And for the first time, Alex realized she might have lost her for good.
She stood frozen as Iris walked past her, as the door creaked open, as the cold air rushed in. Alex wanted to say something, anything, but her voice failed her.
So she did what she always did.
She let her go.
And this time, there was no promise of coming back.
‧₊˚✩彡
End